With apologies to the great baseball writers that are from KC and/or write about the Royals (Bill James, Rob Neyer, Joe Posanaski), we decided to honor the Royals’ acting like a real sports team for the past 15 years by converting their roster into the best combination of sports and acting there is: professional wrestling.
C: Miguel “Tiger Chung” Olivo
1B: Mike “The Snake” Jacobs
2B: Mark ‘The Miz” Teahen
SS: “Iron” Mike Aviles
3B: Alex “The Commissioner” Gordon
OF: David “The Man of 1000 Yawns” DeJesus
OF: Coco ‘B Ware’ Crisp
OF: Jose “The Animal” Guillen
DH: Billy “King Kong” Butler
Bench: “Captain Lou” Alberto Callaspo
Bench: Kila “Kowalski” Kaaihue
Bench: Leaping Willie Bloomquist
Bench: John “Million Dollar Man” Buck
Bench: Gloadberg (Ross Gload)
P: Gil “The Rotator Cuff” Meche
P: Zack “The Missing Link” Greinke
P: Brian “The Brain” Bannister
P: Sidney “Gorilla” Ponson
P: Luke HocheVar Erich
P: Joakim “Superfly” Soria
P: The Worthless Relievers – Brandon Duckworth and Kyle Farnsworth
P: Ravishing Ron Mahay
Best Historical Royals Wrestler: Paul “Mr. Wonderful” Splittorff
Runner-up: Dan “Special Delivery” Quisenberry
