Despite what their owner, fan base, and majority of their players believe, the Washington Nationals remain in the playoff chase, just a half game out of the wild card. Bryce Harper’s dad has never doubted them for a second! So what’s changed? Has Juan Soto taken his game to Coke Zero levels? Is Bryce Harper single-handedly carrying the team on his mega swole back? It’s actually been Ryan Zimmerman who has really caught fire of late and has given them that extra spark that not even a players over involved father can provide. “Mr. Harper I’m going to ask you again to stay out of the showers. You can’t be in here. This is the last time I’m going to tell you this.”  Zimm went 1-for-4 with his 10th home run on Friday night as the Nats cruised past Miami. Since returning from a lengthy stay on the disabled list, Zimmerman is slashing .341/.417/.732 with four homers and 15 RBI. Those are Soto/Harper-esque numbers, folks! Despite his early season struggles, Zimm is a bat that demands to be owned across all fantasy formats due to the line up he hits in and his history of mashing dingers. Lucky for you, much of the fantasy baseball world has dog days disorder where they’ve moved on from baseball to trendy end-of-summer activities like “going outside” and preparing for fantasy football (check out this shameless plug and click the link for gridiron gold). This is our time to strike, my over-the-internet friends. When everyone else has given up. Ryan Zimmerman was a BUY and is under 50% owned, but not for much longer. Ignore what Bryce’s dad says about his team mates, I’d grab Zimm everywhere he’s still available.

Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:

Carlos Carrasco – 7.0 IP, 3 hits, BB, 6 K, 15th win. I’m looking for candiates to replace Trevor Bauer as my new K-Krazy pitcher I love to hate and hate to love. Carlos has a 161:28 strikeout-to-walk ratio. Mmm yes pls. OK that checks out. What about drones? Do you use drones? And how do you feel about 9-11? Conspiracy-much? Interesting. Have you ever recorded yourself rapping and put it on the internet?

Cesar Hernandez – 2-for-4, run, SB (16). Phillies stole 5 bases, because–Mets? Nope, not this time. Unfortunately, we have to blame Syndergaard for this one. Even Jorge Alfaro, the back up catcher who’d hadn’t stolen at the MLB level in ever–stole two. Oyy vey iz mir as they say in Queens.

Aaron Nola – 7.0 IP, 3 hits, ER, BB, 11 K, 14th win. Nola makes po’ boys out of Mets! A-Aron is rocking a coool 2.24 ERA and 160/44 K/BB through 25 starts. He might be Cy Young if Max Scherzer didn’t exist. Nola was almost your lede, went with Zimm because he isn’t owned everywhere, but what a yawnstipating night of baseball. Was hard to pick a stand out fantasy-wise without just gushing about the Red Sox, which I’m sure I’m going to do later anyway. Try not to look so jealous.

Noah Syndergaard – 5.2 IP, 8 hits, 4 ER, 2 BB, 5 K. If he’d been traded to the Yankees, Noah would have won this game 7-4.

Austin Jackson – 3-for-4, RBI. Brandon Nimmo is the spark plug that makes these Mets score more runs than they have any business scoring, so of course let’s bench him for this grizzled way-past-his-prime veteran who embodies everything that’s bad about the team this year. Still, Ajax has a four-game hitting streak with 5 runs in that stretch, and that’s more hits from the Mets no.3 spot in the line up than we’ve seen all year!

Anthony DeSclafani – 7.2 IP, 6 hits, ER, BB, 5 K. Nothing DeSclafunny  about what Tony is doing right now! I’ve never been as high on Anthony as others but he’s been absolute flames in August with a 0.83 ERA, 2 wins and a 16/2 K/BB and he’s available in about 75% of fantasy leagues. He’s gone seven innings in his last three starts which makes me raise an eyebrow, Dwayne Johnson but he threw 100 pitches in this one and gets the Cubs next week. Welp. So as much as I know you all luuuurv him, I might avoid that start.

Phillip Ervin – 1-for-2, walk off HR (3). Since being called up to replace Jesse Winkler, the rookie has done nothing but excel hitting .267 with 3 homers 9 RBI and 7 runs scored in the past two weeks. He even stole a base! Maybe games like this will get him more playing time but for now he’s stuck in a platoon and is more of a deeper league add.

JD Martinez – 1-for-3, 2 runs, RBI. The RBI was his 105th which is a new career high for my forever friend. He just makes it look so GD MartinEzzzzzzz.

Xander Bogaerts – 3-for-4, run, 2 RBI. I used to criticize Awesome-X for not hitting enough power to make that Pablo Sandoval money but he’s got a career high .518 SLG% and on pace to surpass his career high in home runs. He also leads the league in extra base hits with runners in scoring position. Doode is clutch! I should know X is my Fortnite partner, I go in first and create a diversion and X picks them off while they shoot at me. Never fails, I usually die though. Best Mates is our #1 Victory Royale celebration dance.

Mookie Betts – 1-for-5, run. Mmmookie. That’s 100 runs for my flame, my muse, my one-and-only. Mookie becomes the only player other than Ted Williams with three 100 run seasons before age 26. I guess that’s why we call him Mookie Ballgame!

Max Scherzer – 6.0 IP, 5 hits, 0 ER, BB, 7 K, 16th win. His name is Max. His world is blood and fire.  Max did exactly what he should do when facing the Florida Marlins. Dominated. He’s sporting a 2.11 ERA and 0.89 WHIP with 234 strikeouts. Witness him! 

Austin Dean – 1-for-4, HR (1). Here’s a Marlins rookie so fresh, so raw that he’s not even in the ESPN player universe yet! He was slashing .345/.410/.511 with 12 dingers in the minors before his call up, so maybe Espen will get their [expletive deleted] together so we can run a legitimate fantasy baseball franchise here.

Adam Eaton – 3-for-4, run, RBI. He was a SELL! So of course he had three hits. Of course he did. Well, tbh (<~~ vvv hot acronym rn) he will probably be injured in the next few weeks anyway.

Matt Wieters – 2-for-4, HR (5). Matt Wieters facts: Your team might need a catcher and Weiters certainly is one.

Tyler Austin – 2-for-3, HR (10). Two homers in five days! If he was still on the Yankees he’d be owned in over 50% of leagues by now.

Eddie Rosario – 1-for-4, HR (21). Hard to get hot like we know he can when the only thing hot is the garbage line up that surrounds you. Can’t tell if I’m all in on Rosario for 2019 yet or nah. But I will let you know as soon as I decide.

Kyle Gibson – 7.0 IP, 8 hits, 3 ER, 3 BB, 5 K, 7th win. Ahh, yes. It’s good to be a starter in the AL Central, no matter what team you play for.

Taylor Rogers – 0.1 IP, SV (1). Trevor Hildenberger was a BUY and is likely the closer in Minny but Matt Magill got a chance last night which he promptly blew (0.2 IP, 2 hits, ER, BB, K) and Roger Rogers ended up with the save. Hildy looks like the fav for future saves, but Manager Paul Molitor refuses to commit to any of these guys and I can’t say I really blame him.

Nicky Delmonico – 2-for-5, HR (5), 5 RBI. You are just delaying the inevitable, Nicky! We demand Eloy!

Tim Anderson – 3-for-3, 3 runs, RBI, 2 SB (24). Hitting close to .400 in the past week. I can’t wait to own this guy next year when the White Sox offense is actually decent.

Jose Abreu – 1-for-5, HR (22), 3 RBI. Same as above.

Jack Flaherty – 6.0 IP, 3 hits, 0 ER, 3 BB, 7 K, 7th win. Jack is 3-0 in the month of August with a 0.95 ERA, 0.84 WHIP and 23 strikeouts. Flaherty seems like one of those young pitchers I’ll avoid their sophomore year. The innings will get to him and he will definitely be over drafted and will end up being streamed by people like me in September. However, 2020 Jack Flaherty though!? Oh you know I’m all in!

Bud Norris – 1.0 IP, 1 hits, K, SV (24). If you told me Bus Norris would have 24 saves this year I would have told you that I am a Hollow Earther who believes in the Subterranean City of Agartha and the people who live there completely debunk any claim made by the Flat Earth Society as complete nonsense. You can’t out-crazy me, boy, don’t even try.

Freddy Peralta – 6.0 IP, 3 hits, 3 ER, 3 BB, 5 K. I like Freddy, and he’s got a real sweet match up next week,  but the fact that he’s the Brewers highest-upside starter tells you everything you need to know about Milwaukee’s playoff hopes.

Jose Leclerc – 1.0 IP, 3 K, SV (4). ERA at ERA to 1.97 through 47 games. Struck out the side with the Kimbrel! Not even Craigie does that anymore! Pick him up!

Drew Hutchison – 5.0 IP, 5 hits, 2 ER, BB, 6 K, 1st win. I’m scanning the box score through this LAA line up and I think to myself, “Self, damn when did this team get so bad?” Then I realized Trout still wasn’t playing. How can God be a Woman and Trout at the same time? No matter, I will wait for you Ariana! Err, I mean Trout. What we were saying? Oh, Drew’s ERA is 7.43. Pick him up if you hate yourself.

Lance Lynn – 4.0 IP, 6 hits, 5 ER, 3 BB, 5 K. Just your basic Lance Lynn start that I would usually ignore but now I have to mention it because he was playing well for two weeks after he got traded to the Yankees. His ERA shot up from 0.54 to 2.61 after Friday. Yep. New uniform. Same Lance Lynn.

Marcus Stroman – 4.0 IP, 6 hits, 5 ER, 2 BB, 2 K. Speaking of players who could really use a new uniform…Marcus will likely head to the DL with those darnded pesky blisters he keeps getting. Have you tried peeing on your hands? Want me to try?

Giancarlo Stanton – 2-for-4, HR (31). Speaking of players who really don’t need any uniform…

Sean Newcomb – 5.1 IP, 9 hits, 7 ER, 3 BB, 5 K. Now given up 12 runs in his past two starts and after being a fantasy darling in the first half he’s turning into your ratio-slaying nightmare. Did Gausman steal your thunder? How long before we see Touki again? Methinks very very soon.

Charlie Culberson – 1.0 IP, 2 hits, ER. He was a BUY! He’s hitting close to .400 with a homer and a steal in the past week. He also has multiple position eligibility. Last night he pitched an inning, which won’t help your fantasy team but still–a hitter pitching! Isn’t that wild? LOL! How fun is that.

Kyle Freeland – 6.0 IP, 3 hits, ER, 4 BB, 9 K, 11th win. ERA at 2.96. Kyle can tell when he’s not at Coors because his ERA drops significantly. Also there’s no atmospheric pressure constantly squeezing at the sides of his head like its stuck in a vice grip. Freeland has the chance to record the lowest ERA for a Colorado pitcher since Ubaldo Jiminez, which is…something.

Trevor Story – 3-for-4, 2 runs, SB (17). How good has Trevor Story been!? He’s got to be one of the biggest value draft picks of the year, no? .293/.350/.549 with 25 homers and 17 steals? We’re talking about a 30-20 guy who hits for average and plays home games Coors! Tell me how he is he not a top 10 pick next year?

Ian Desmond – 3-for-5, run, 5 RBI, SB (14). The Rocks rolled scoring 10 runs on 16 hits including 3 hit games from Charlie Blackmon and DJ Lemahieu. And they weren’t even in Colorado!

Ronald Acuna Jr. – 1-for-3, 2 runs. Don’t worry, Ronnie. I have found the majority of Jose Urena’s family on the internet and I am currently in the process of facebooking them to death. That’s what you get for messing with my BB!

Cole Hamels – 7.0 IP, 5 hits, 0 ER, 2 BB, 3 K, 3rd win. Cole has a 0.72 ERA and 25/6 K/BB with the Cubbies and gets juicy match ups with the Tigers and Mets coming up. He wasn’t dead you guys! It was just Texas! He wasn’t dead! He was just in Texas. Ohhhhh! Maybe he just really missed Yu Darvish?

Trevor Williams – 7.0 IP, 4 hits, ER, 2 BB, 4 K. He’s been sneaky good, but the BBs are too high and the Ks are too low and I just can’t see me ever owner this guy for more than a start. But you? By all means, be my guest!

Walker Buehler – 6.0 IP, 3 hits, ER, 2 BB, 8 K, 6th win. He looks like the Dodgers baby Kershaw right now, and the stats mirror this opinion, 3.19 ERA and a 1.04 WHIP and a 93/21 K/BB. All the right Dodgers are getting hot at the right time. It’s all very exciting. I think we may be setting Dodgers fans up for their most heart crushing playoff loss yet. Or are there No Tears Left to Cry? That’s two Ariana references in one post, I must be really into her this week!

Wade Leblanc – 4.1 IP, 7 hits, 7 R, 5 ER, 2 BB, 4 K. When you’ve been on the run from the regression fairies for 4 months and finally they corner you at the end of the drainage tunnel and you jump! Yeah, now that Paxton is back on DL and Felix is officially unstartable, the M’s don’t look quite so hot do they?

Manny Machado – 2-for-5, 2 HR (4), 3 RBI. Grandal, Kemp and Max Muncy also homered as they crushed the Mariners 11-1. I almost didn’t notice that Machado was struggling a bit because this line up is so ridiculously stacked they could bench Manny and I probably wouldn’t realize it.

Charlie Morton  – 5.0 IP, 4 hits, ER, 2 BB, 4 K. versus Edwin Jackson – 5.0 IP, 5 hits, 2 ER, 2 BB, 2 K. The A’s are 8-2 when E-Jax is on the bump. But the A’s have been so good since they acquired Jackson, I’m not sure that’s so much a testament to Edwin’s skills or just that the A’s keep winning. Basically if you buy that 8-2 stat, I have a Brian Johnson I could sell you too. Regardless, EJax gets Tejas on Wednesday and I could see perhaps considering the prospect of maybe thinking about mulling over the possibility of contemplating whether or not I should review the option of potentially streaming him.

Alex Bregman – 1-for-3, HR (23). I think the Astros miss Alex Cora, you guys. IMHO (the “H” stands for handsome), most of these young stars need a coach in the dugout like Cora to constantly tell them how great they are or else they really don’t believe it.  Injuries sminjuries, how else do you explain the Stros’ fall from greatness?

Robbie Ray – 4.1 IP, 2 hits, 3 ER, 5 BB, 3 K. versus Joey Lucchesi 4.0 IP, 9 hits 5 ER, 3 BB, 6 K. Come on, Robbie! Where my Ks!? If I can get a better four innings out of Joey Lucchesi (of the Mozarella di Parma Lucchesi’s) there is a problem. It’s hard to tell you to drop since he was decent in his previous two starts, but if there are better options out there I ain’t mad at cha.

Hector Rondon – 1.0 IP, 1 hit, ER, 2 BB. His second blown save in a row. This could be it for Rondon. Roberto Osuna pitched a shaky eighth, but he was still better than Rondon, even if he is a terrible person in general.

Matt Olson – 2-for-5, GW walk off HR (23). Olson hasn’t been the 40 homer molly-whopper I thought he’d be going into this year, but he’s still got the power to go off, so maybe I’m tapping out prematurely. Only 17 to go!

Eric Hosmer – 2-for-5, HR (12), SB (6). Hosmer just woke up from his sleep walking marathon (it’s a 15k raising money for narcolepsy) a week ago and realized the Padres had tried to build a team around him this year. Ha!

Eduardo Escobar – 2-for-3, 3 runs, HR (3), 2 BB. This is the first time I can recall writing about him since he was a member of the Twins. But to be fair, he goes to bed a lot later than me now.

Paul Goldschmidt – 2-for-3, HR (28), 3 BB. Au Shizz and Ed-Esco the ultimate on-base MACHINES. Name a more iconic duo! I’ll wait.

Blake Treinen – 1.0 IP, BB, 3 K, 5th win. ERA at 0.87. The A’s bullpen basically won this game for them. Whereas the Houston bullpen lost the game for them. Funny how the A’s spent the whole summer stacking their bullpen (they traded Doolittle, arguably their most popular player, for Treinen) and it’s all worked out so magically. It’s almost like that have men in the front office playing ball with the salaries. A sort of…money…ball? If only all teams had their own fat Jonah Hill to make moves like this. It sure will be an exciting ride watching them lose to Boston’s $237 million dollar payroll in October!

Thanks for reading! Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!

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3 years ago

Ray or Kopecech 10 team h2h league?

3 years ago

14-team OBP 5×5….I have Trout on the DL, I’m tired of looking at Adam Eaton’s name on my roster even if he did have 3 hits, and Avi Garcia is getting benched for not running hard to first. I need some names to look at from our free agents it seems…

Charlie Culberson, Austin Jackson, Phillip Ervin, Hunter Renfroe, Joey Wendle, Manuel Margot, Marwin Gonzalez, Neil Walker, Hernan Perez, Jankowski, EYoung, Joey Bats, Spangenberg Squarepants, Dahl, Pearce, Ortega, Martini, or even Canha?

3 years ago

Whatcha think about Musgrove against the Cubs tonight? SoN doesn’t love it, but Chicago offense has been meh lately, and Musgrove’s taken some tough-luck losses.

3 years ago

Sale back on DL.

3 years ago

Hey pants what’s your take on Bellinger vs Springer for 2019? (Obp and slg and counts k’s)

3 years ago

Please ROS:

C Taylor
J Bauers
R Cano
E Rosario

3 years ago

Great recap! You know when they say ‘you’re the apple of my eye?’ What is it with Pants? You’re the apples of my zipper? Apples next to my eye?

Reply to  Dan Pants
3 years ago


Malicious Phenoms
Malicious Phenoms
3 years ago

One of your better Friday night recaps!

Nice Mr Pants. Nice

I’d love to see the money ball A’s knock of the richie rich sawk in October!