Homer has so many different meanings. When I say ‘Homer’, I could be referring to Mr. Simpson himself (or Mr. Plow if you prefer). Conversely, I could be referring to when a player hits the ball out of the park. That would make sense given the context but I’m not going that route either. Even further, I could be referring to the Greek poet but we all know I’m not smart enough for that reference. Or better yet, since we’re talking about a Padre, I could be referring to Jaywrong and his dirty affliction for all things Friars. But nay, I talk not of any of these things. I’m here to talk about being a homer like I’m a rapper and I get to make shizz up. I’m gonna call Yonder Alonso a homer for the coming week for 2013 fantasy baseball and if you’d like to find out why, you’ll have to read on into the next paragraph. Be careful with that first step and I’ll meet you there!
So yeah, a homer. I’m gonna say a homer is short for a Homeschooler this week. Yeah, I tricked you and made this completely anti-climatic. Mea culpa, my fine feathered friends but I’m a writer on a prestigious fantasy site so I have a little artistic freedom and I’m choosing to use it on this…yeah, that’s it. But in reality, here’s why I’m calling Alonso a pick up this week: he’s at home. Boom son! Analysis done *drops mic*. Really, that’s what Yonder has going for him. I know what you’re going to say ‘why is hitting in Petco for 6 days a good thing’? That’s a good question and not one I can honestly answer but the stats say that’s exactly where Yonder likes it. Now granted, the sample size is small – that’s what she said! – but in 104 at-bats this season, Alonso carries a .298/.345/.462 slashline to go with 4 HRs and 5 doubles. I hear ya, you’re snoring. I get it. I’m not all that tickled about him this week either but we’re at week 18, people! Want me to tell you to pick up the guys Grey has already mentioned 5 times this week? Is 6 the magical number to get you to pick up Henry Urrutia? Chigger please! In fact, Grey’s already told you to buy Yonder on Friday so if you don’t like the call, you can blame him as well. You’re either with us or with the terrorists! But more to the point, I like Yonder’s chance at giving us a HR and maybe a steal this week (he has 3 in July already) or as I like to call it ‘your every other week with Shin-Soo Choo. So if you believe there’s no place like home and absence from it makes the heart go Yonder, go for Alsonso this week.
