Seriously, it’s week one and you already need my help? Really? Your draft go that poorly that you’re looking for a hitter to stream during the very first week of the season? Well, who am I to complain if I’m getting a readership right off the bat, I guess. But next year, why don’t you contact me a little sooner. We can do lunch together. Heck, I might even spring for the check. We might even eat at one of those fancy places that puts a lemon in the water glass where all the waiters remember the daily specials and make you stare up their nose when you talk to them. We can bring in a fake fly and put it in the soup to get them in trouble with their manager and watch some snooty on snooty action which isn’t as much fun but much more sanitary than Snooki on Snooki action. Wait, where was I? Oh right, it’s week 1 and you’re already struggling to compete. I’m no soothsayer but I foresee a tough road ahead for you. But in any event, that’s why I’m here, to guide you to weekly fantasy glory. I’m going to start this crazy little thing off with a hitter who really likes Homeschooling in David Murphy and how he can help you out for week 1 of the 2013 fantasy baseball season…
Due to many off-season changes in Arlington, David Murphy – who is not to be confused with Daniel Murphy but if it happens, I won’t blame you – will be manning left field more often than not for the Texas Rangers for most of the fantasy season. Last year, David had the most ABs of his career with 457 and he took full advantage, racking up a .304 average to go with 15 homeruns, 10 steals. Not very tempting you say? Well try playing in a 5 OF league, I say, where you didn’t draft all of yours in the first 10 rounds. Them thars some decent OF5 stats in an RCL league if I do say so in my best Georgian accent.
But to understand why he’s intriguing for week one we have to do a little further digging and what we find here might shock you. It may titillate you. It may arouse you to the point where you’re on the verge of… wait, I’m looking at the wrong stats. No, these stats are all about David’s home/road splits. Last year at home, Murphy hit .335 while slugging .514 and hitting 7 HRs in 223 AB. Though his road stats weren’t all that bad by comparison – .275/.446 with 8 dingers – it’s clear David likes going home. And who wouldn’t if their Mom made them smiley face pancakes with chocolate chips and confectionery sugar on top when you were there? That’s me making up reasons that don’t need to be made for why Murphy likes hitting at home in Arlington. The truth is, everyone likes hitting in Arlington, and you should too.
So pick up D. Murphy and just make sure it’s the right one, because this one is home for three days at the end of the week and gets to face terrible pitching from the AAAstros for the beginning of the year. Overall, I’m thinking you get an average above .290 outta him for the week with the possibility of a HR and an SB with a few runs/RBIs thrown in to boot. Doesn’t sound that exciting to you? Well then why did you read it? It’s week one for cripes sake, you shouldn’t already need my help! This is going to be a long summer…
