“Where have you gone Joe DiMaggio? Our nation turns it’s lonely eyes to you.” Woo. Woo. Woo! Welp, I don’t know that even Joltin’ Joe could help the Yanks this year, but across town in Flushing ole Simon and Garfunkel may change their tune, because baseball nation is awaiting the return of one of its aces. New York’s in need of a hero (aren’t they always?), and I’m not talking of the Norse god variety. No, they need someone who speaks them, looks like them, gets them…someone who is them. The Dark Knight himself: Matt Harvey.
In 400+ IP from 2012-2015 his ERA never crept above 2.73, including 2.71 in 189 IP last season after fully recovering from the ol’ TJ surgery. He’s been as dominant as it gets, and should be the anchor of a nasty Mets rotation. But 2016 has been nothing of the sort. Yet. His 4.76 ERA is the ugliest thing in his life these days, because you know he can date whomever he wants in NYC. Just like how Batman always a lady friend stalking him, Harvey’s gotta have strong offerings galore. If only ‘strong offerings’ were also indicative of his pitches in 2016. Despite all other peripherals remaining consistent from years past, his bread and butter, the fastball, dropped a full MPH in velocity. Harvey needs his stuff to return, and fast. Well, to fast? And it needs to be fast, yes, but really it must get to its previous fast. Yeah…that works. And with a little luck, mixed with some well-timed visits from a few special opponents, I believe the Mets Dark Knight will be returning from the ashes soon. Really soon.
A hero is only as good as his villain, and Batman’s had his fair share. However, not all stack up the same, so let’s have some fun with the Week 5 Rankings by categorizing them by the best Batman villains. And no, don’ get confused, we’re not ranking the pitcher’s opponents, but man, when looking those two up against Harvey, his turn around happens now or it may be time to turn in the cape on 2016.
Pitchers are listed in order by rank.
‘The Joker‘ (Aces) – No, not the Jack Nicholson cartoonish version, and, while I have incredibly high hopes for it, I don’t mean the Jared Leto freak, either. Arguably the greatest villain performance of all-time (only to be rivaled by ‘Chigurh‘ in No Country for Old Men), Heath Ledger’s masterful performance in The Dark Knight blew people away, just like Matt Harvey’s in line to do by facing the Braves and Padres at Petco.
| Player | Opponents | ERA/FIP | K9/BB9 |
| Jake Arrieta (CHC) | @PIT, WSH | 1.00/2.88 | 8.00/2.50 |
| Johnny Cueto (SF) | @CIN, COL | 2.65/2.17 | 7.96/1.21 |
| Dallas Keuchel (HOU) | MIN, SEA | 4.41/3.04 | 7.44/3.58 |
| Gerrit Cole (PIT) | CHC, @STL | 2.78/2.75 | 7.54/2.38 |
| Jose Quintana (CWS) | BOS, MIN | 1.47/1.80 | 9.39/2.35 |
| Matt Harvey (NYM) | ATL, @SD | 4.76/3.60 | 6.67/2.86 |
‘Bane‘ (On Deck) – The only thing cooler than watching Tom Hardy’s ‘Bane’ manhandle Batman, purely dominate Gotham, hang an airplane in the air vertically, and deliver one of the greatest leadership lessons from a villain in movie history (‘Victory has defeated you.’) was Ledger’s ‘Joker’ in the previous film. Riiiiiight there, but not quite enough.
| Player | Opponents | ERA/FIP | K9/BB9 |
| Gio Gonzalez (WSH) | @KC, @CHC | 1.47/2.47 | 8.88/2.49 |
| Sonny Gray (OAK) | SEA, @BAL | 3.81/4.34 | 8.26/4.76 |
| Michael Wacha (STL) | PHI, PIT | 3.07/3.38 | 7.36/2.76 |
| Jason Hammel (CHC) | @PIT, WSH | 0.75/2.47 | 8.25/3.38 |
| Jeff Samardzija (SF) | @CIN, COL | 3.86/3.63 | 7.16/2.76 |
| Aaron Nola (PHI) | @STL, @MIA | 3.55/2.59 | 10.09/1.64 |
| Marco Estrada (TOR) | TEX, LAD | 2.92/2.94 | 9.12/4.01 |
| Justin Verlander (DET) | @CLE, TEX | 5.46/4.66 | 9.40/3.03 |
| Hisashi Iwakuma (SEA) | @OAK, @HOU | 4.65/4.33 | 7.26/2.61 |
‘Ra’s al Ghul‘ (In the Hole, But In My Lineup) – Ya didn’t really know how to spell his name, or quite know if he was good, bad, or psychotic, but man…two things happened with ‘al Ghul: 1) He set the stage for an epic trilogy of Batman films, while never truly leaving the storyline, and 2) Liam Neeson portrayed him. The baddest man on the planet. No wonder Christian Bale’s Batman was the best one. He had ASLAN AS A FREAKING TRAINER!
| Player | Opponents | ERA/FIP | K9/BB9 |
| Edinson Volquez (KC) | WSH, @CLE | 3.34/3.31 | 7.58/3.03 |
| Patrick Corbin (ARI) | @MIA, @ATL | 4.88/5.75 | 5.46/2.87 |
| Bartolo Colon (NYM) | ATL, @SD | 3.42/3.36 | 7.99/1.14 |
| Jose Berrios (MIN) | @HOU, @CWS | 11.25/2.80 | 11.25/4.50 |
| Matt Moore (TB) | LAD, @LAA | 3.66/3.39 | 9.84/1.87 |
| Tanner Roark (WSH) | @KC, @CHC | 2.03/2.94 | 8.71/3.77 |
| Josh Tomlin (CLE) | DET, KC | 3.18/3.69 | 5.82/1.06 |
| James Shields (SD) | COL, NYM | 3.55/4.68 | 5.73/3.55 |
| Collin McHugh (HOU) | MIN, SEA | 6.65/3.43 | 7.06/2.08 |
| Chris Tillman (BAL) | NYY, OAK | 3.24/2.79 | 8.64/2.88 |
| Steven Wright (BOS) | @CWS, @NYY | 1.37/3.30 | 8.54/3.76 |
‘Catwoman‘ (Platoon Player – One Good/One Bad) – But which one? Click that little link to the left to see which one I’d prefer, but in terms of the description the ambiguity fits perfectly. Anne Hathaway’s version flipped a switch to go from scheming femme fatale to sidekick (?), while Michelle Pfeiffer’s gave ya all the feels. And don’t get me started on Halle Berrayyyy, Halle Berry. That’ll get you sent straight down another tier.
| Player | Opponents | ERA/FIP | K9/BB9 |
| Jeremy Hellickson (PHI) | @STL, @MIA | 3.81/3.76 | 9.69/2.08 |
| Nathan Karns (SEA) | @OAK, @HOU | 3.63/4.31 | 9.67/4.84 |
| Jimmy Nelson (MIL) | LAA, @CIN | 3.16/5.29 | 7.18/4.02 |
| Andrew Cashner (SD) | COL, NYM | 4.94/3.95 | 7.99/3.80 |
| Brandon Finnegan (CIN) | SF, MIL | 3.86/5.50 | 7.39/4.82 |
| Ricky Nolasco (MIN) | @HOU, @CWS | 3.25/3.11 | 7.81/0.98 |
All of Batman Forever (Sit ’em Down) – Uma Thurman being in her prime was the only good thing about this one. But, unfortunately, the thing that ‘bricked up real proper’, to quote Michael Rapport from the B.S. Podcast, from Uma was Bane’s awful raided up muscles. No thanks. I’ll pass. Iceman? Haha, I’d rather go against ‘Quailman‘.
| Player | Opponents | ERA/FIP | K9/BB9 |
| Luis Severino (NYY) | @BAL, BOS | 6.86/3.67 | 5.49/1.37 |
| Jonathan Gray (COL) | @SD, @SF | 11.42/4.38 | 12.46/3.12 |
| Adam Wainwright (STL) | PHI, PIT | 7.16/5.27 | 4.55/3.58 |
| Tyler Chatwood (COL) | @SD, @SF | 3.47/4.05 | 6.17/1.54 |
| Jered Weaver (LAA) | @MIL, TB | 3.86/5.55 | 4.24/2.70 |
| R.A. Dickey (TOR) | TEX, LAD | 6.75/4.16 | 7.43/3.71 |
| A.J. Griffin (TEX) | @TOR, @DET | 2.52/3.87 | 6.12/3.24 |
| Jonathon Niese (PIT) | CHC, @STL | 5.08/5.82 | 6.99/2.86 |
| Taylor Jungmann (MIL) | LAA, @CIN | 9.15/6.06 | 5.66/5.66 |
| Jon Moscot (CIN) | SF, MIL | 4.02/7.57 | 3.45/5.17 |
| Zach Davies (MIL) | LAA, @CIN | 9.72/5.27 | 5.40/4.32 |
All players listed are projected for two starts, and this list is subject to changes after the article is posted.
So, there you have it! Disagree with any of the rankings or my Batman villain remarks? Drop a comment below, and good luck with Week 5! Check back next weekend for Week 6!
