HEY! (I thought about just ending the intro right here. Ultimate mic drop moment. However, for the four people that enjoy reading this part – including my mother – I’ll carry on. Note: My mother doesn’t read about fantasy baseball.)
Whether it was just to get the attention of Norm McDonald or Colin Quinn, or subtly acted as a harbinger of the attention the Cubs would garner nearly two decades later, the hilarious announcement of ‘HEY!’ by Will Ferrell in character as Harry Caray could be a banner for the 2016 Cubbies. Hey! Pay attention! They’re really freaking good (as you all are aware). And not going anywhere. Including this week.
I heard summers in Chicago were beautiful. Then I heard they were miserable. Whenever the wind isn’t blowing off Lake Michigan Chicago turns into a stagnant city in desperate need of some fresh breath. Well, don’t worry ChiTown, because for the final week in June and start of July your fresh breath is coming. The WINdy City will earn its name through the trio of Two-Start Pitchers that will take the mound. And yep, I’m even including the ugly step-child White Sox and their Ace so far this year (Gasp…but wait, Chris Sale isn’t throwing twice this week!?! Uh huh, you’re quite the observant one, aren’t cha?) But even more than Jose Quintana, the Cubs Cy Young runners-up (no one is stopping Clayton Kershaw’s path to winning the Iron Throne) headline the list of Two-Start options for Week 13. Get ready for more Harry Caray proclamations!
Pitchers are listed in order by rank. Colors represent worst 8 or best 8 opponents according to team wOBA for last 14 days.
THE BEST – Seriously, Chicago, it’s gonna be a doozy for your fans this week. Who cares if the starts are on the road, It doesn’t get much better than this. I also quietly love Kluber’s week with the Brave start, even though the Blue Jays offense is hitting on every freaking cylinder possible right now.
| Player | Opponents | ERA/FIP | K9/BB9 |
|---|---|---|---|
| Jake Arrieta (CHC) | @CIN, @NYM | 1.74/2.50 | 9.83/3.21 |
| Jon Lester (CHC) | @CIN, @NYM | 2.10/3.19 | 9.03/2.10 |
| Corey Kluber (CLE) | @ATL, @TOR | 3.59/2.83 | 9.03/1.93 |
| Jose Quintana (CWS) | MIN, @HOU | 3.04/2.92 | 8.11/2.21 |
| Jeff Samardzija (SF) | OAK, @ARI | 3.59/3.95 | 7.10/2.03 |
THE REPLICAS – Pretty sure @JB just pulled a Lonley Island in his pants for the top of this tier. The Mets and Reds have been two of the worst offenses the past 14 days, so both Nationals options creep into this section. Through the middle are a ton of Ks.
| Player | Opponents | ERA/FIP | K9/BB9 |
|---|---|---|---|
| Joe Ross (WSH) | NYM, CIN | 3.11/3.69 | 7.50/2.68 |
| Julio Urias (LAD) | @MIL, COL | 4.33/3.45 | 11.67/3.00 |
| Danny Duffy (KC) | STL, @PHI | 3.38/3.89 | 10.89/2.45 |
| Cole Hamels (TEX) | @NYY, @MIN | 2.79/4.57 | 8.84/3.44 |
| Tanner Roark (WSH) | NYM, CIN | 3.18/3.50 | 7.91/2.99 |
THE STANDARDS – Some big names here, but bad matchups and inconsistency mar their potential. Regardless, you’re still putting all these guys in your lineup. Here’s to hoping somehow Chris Archer gets through this gauntlet and Matt Shoemaker doesn’t fully implode at Boston next weekend.
| Player | Opponents | ERA/FIP | K9/BB9 |
|---|---|---|---|
| Matt Harvey (NYM) | @WSH, CHC | 4.64/3.53 | 7.28/2.32 |
| Chris Archer (TB) | BOS, DET | 4.70/4.31 | 10.57/3.82 |
| Matt Shoemaker (LAA) | HOU, @BOS | 4.33/3.48 | 9.30/1.88 |
| Daniel Mengden (OAK) | @SF, PIT | 3.00/4.12 | 10.50/3.00 |
| Marco Estrada (TOR) | @COL, CLE | 2.70/4.04 | 8.10/3.57 |
| Collin McHugh (HOU) | @LAA, CWS | 4.70/3.73 | 8.43/2.42 |
THE KNOCKOFFS – The fact that there have been a bakers dozen (Bauer’s dozen when he Ks 13 in a start?!? I gotta remember that one) about Trevor Bauer might make you think he’s actually Jack Bauer. While he’s improved, I don’t trust him like I do Kluber when facing Toronto on the road. Hot and cold big time here.
| Player | Opponents | ERA/FIP | K9/BB9 |
|---|---|---|---|
| Trevor Bauer (CLE) | @ATL, @TOR | 3.20/3.28 | 8.42/2.88 |
| Blake Snell (TB) | BOS, DET | 2.40/2.92 | 7.20/4.20 |
| Adam Conley (MIA) | @DET, @ATL | 3.56/3.75 | 8.21/3.78 |
| Scott Kazmir (LAD) | @PIT, COL | 4.52/4.58 | 9.36/3.44 |
| Hisashi Iwakuma (SEA) | PIT, BAL | 4.45/4.75 | 6.82/2.18 |
| CC Sabathia (NYY) | TEX, @SD | 2.71/3.45 | 7.62/3.75 |
| Michael Wacha (STL) | @KC, MIL | 4.41/3.58 | 7.70/3.29 |
| Adam Wainwright (STL) | @KC, MIL | 4.73/3.79 | 6.41/2.46 |
| Albert Suarez (SF) | OAK, @ARI | 3.68/3.91 | 5.65/2.21 |
THE 
– Outside of the K potential with Gray, who the off cares about this group. Haps’s been strong, but those two lineups are dangerous for him. No. Thank you. Sir.
| Player | Opponents | ERA/FIP | K9/BB9 |
|---|---|---|---|
| Jonathan Gray (COL) | TOR, @LAD | 4.80/3.86 | 9.74/3.12 |
| Daniel Straily (CIN) | CHC, @WSH | 3.83/4.33 | 7.65/3.93 |
| J.A. Happ (TOR) | @COL, CLE | 3.42/4.42 | 6.27/2.85 |
| John Gant (ATL) | CLE, MIA | 4.45/3.72 | 9.21/3.49 |
| Robbie Ray (ARI) | PHI, SF | 4.59/4.17 | 10.42/3.92 |
| Matthew Wisler (ATL) | CLE, MIA | 4.22/4.62 | 6.12/2.61 |
| Eduardo Rodriguez (BOS) | @TB, LAA | 6.41/6.35 | 6.41/3.71 |
| Francisco Liriano (PIT) | LAD, @OAK | 5.17/5.43 | 9.19/5.63 |
| Kendall Graveman (OAK) | @SF, PIT | 4.68/5.05 | 6.24/3.12 |
| Tyler Duffey (SF) | PHI, @NYY | 6.18/4.68 | 7.39/2.11 |
| John Lamb (CIN) | CHC, @WSH | 4.78/5.23 | 5.81/4.10 |
| Ivan Nova (NYY) | @SD, TEX | 5.18/4.97 | 6.16/1.82 |
| Kyle Gibson (MIN) | @CWS, TEX | 6.05/5.14 | 5.12/3.96 |
| Adam Morgan (PHI) | @ARI, KC | 6.55/5.05 | 7.49/2.18 |
All players listed are projected for two starts, and this list is subject to changes after the article is posted.
Good luck to the Mets and Reds at beating the Cubs in these starts, and good luck to you in Week 13! Hey! There’s our Bauer’s dozen! Ok, gotta stop giving ideas away to the other writers…
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