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Greetings and salutations, Bar Patrons! Welcome back to your favorite alcohol-consumption-themed fantasy baseball column!

And an especially thankful greetings to all the moms out there, those who stream two-start pitchers, and those who don’t! And if your mom, wife, grandma, mother-in-law, etc., doesn’t play fantasy baseball? Maybe get them to try! Could be fun!

OK, on to the pitchers.

The Top Shelf

Pitcher First Start Second Start
Carlos Rodon, SF COL(MO) @STL(SA)
Frankie Montas, OAK DET(TU) LAA(SU)
Tarik Skubal, DET @OAK(TU) BAL(SU)
Brandon Woodruff, MIL @CIN(MO) @MIA(SU)
Luis Severino, NYY TEX(MO) @CHW(SU)
Lucas Giolito, CHW CLE(TU) NYY(SU)
Alex Wood, SF COL(TU) @STL(SU)

Notes

  • In the game Hearthstone, which I’ve played for a ridiculous ten years or something, when you go head-to-head with a deck that works essentially the same as yours, it’s called a “Mirror Match”… I’m recommending two sets of mirror matches up on the Top Shelf this week!
  • Frankie Montas goes up against Tarik Skubal on Tuesday, while Luis Severino faces Lucas Giolito on Sunday, and I’m recommending all four of them this week. If you don’t feel comfortable putting pitchers up against each other, well, ok, but I’d reconsider, at least for Montas v Skubal. Both offenses have been terrible of late, and the Coliseum– a dive bar in its own right– and that cavernous foul territory makes for some great pitching outcomes.

 

The Well

Pitcher First Start Second Start
Joe Ryan, MIN HOU(TU) CLE(SU)
Michael Kopech, CHW CLE(MO) NYY(SA)
Kyle Wright, ATL BOS(TU) SD(SU)
Tylor Megill, NYM @WSH(TU) SEA(SU)
Noah Syndergaard, LAA TB(MO) @OAK(SU)
Julio Urias, LAD @PIT(MO) PHI(SU)
Tyler Wells, BAL KC(MO) @DET(SU)
Chris Flexen, SEA PHI(MO) @NYM(SA)
Elieser Hernandez, MIA @ARI(MO) MIL(SU)
Luis Castillo, CIN MIL(MO) @PIT(SA)
Corey Kluber, TB @LAA(MO) TOR(SU)
Michael Pineda, DET OAK(MO) BAL(SA)
Paul Blackburn, OAK @DET(MO) LAA(SA)

Notes

  • The Well feels like it has better options this week, but these pitchers are here and not on the Top Shelf for a reason…
  • You gotta like Noah Syndergaard getting a start in Oakland, and Michael Pineda’s home-and-home against the A’s and the O’s.

 

The Bar Mat

Pitcher First Start Second Start
Patrick Corbin, WSH NYM(TU) HOU(SU)
Ranger Suarez, PHI @SEA(MO) @LAD(SU)
Austin Gomber, COL @SF(MO) KC(SU)
Packy Naughton, STL BAL(TU) SF(SU)
Zach Plesac, CLE @CHW(MO) @MIN(SU)
Humberto Castellanos, ARI MIA(MO) CHC(SU)
Vladimir Gutierrez, CIN MIL(TU) @PIT(SU)

Notes

  • There was a time I would have considered Patrick Corbin and Zach Plesac as viable starters… in fact, at times, I have considered them just that. But no more.
  • Avoid these bums.