Yesterday I was looking at my team, specifically at the NA players that my league doesn’t have a slot for, and saw Vidal Brujan and Jarren Duran smiling back at me. Edward Olivares waved at me and happily shed his NA skin, just so he could go 0-3 for me Sunday afternoon. It’s better than accumulating stats that don’t count, or, in the case of Jarren Duran, getting advice from Major League Baseball Ambassador of Blah Jon Jay. This little nugget from Masslive.com made me giggle: “One of [Alex] Cora’s best friends, former major leaguer Jon Jay, played for Team USA. ‘I told Jon Jay to make sure to help Duran out throughout the process,’ Cora said. ‘To talk to him about baseball and what it takes.’

Did I say giggle? I meant to say, “Scream very loudly like I’m Woody Harrelson in True Detective, watching that tape player in McConaghy’s storage space. Don’t talk to Jon Jay, especially about baseball! Every conversation with Jon Jay will result in Duran’s launch angle gains dropping by one full percentage point. David Ortiz or Manny weren’t available? Jarren Duran isn’t going to be show-stopping, but Christ alive, can you please have him talk to anyone else? Wade Boggs? Even after four racks of Keystone, I guarantee ole Wade would give Jarren more to chew on than The Federalist.