This week has provided a windfall of blurbs, as we shake off the early season roster machinations and tilt, with steampunk goggles adorned, into the full gale force winds of early April player blurbs. The player you drafted in the 13th round is hitting sub-.200, so it’s definitely time to drop, right? According to some player blurbs, yes. Look, here’s a Rule 5 guy, and he already has 16 RBI+Runs, and has stolen 3 bases. Soon, you will see the words that are like lines of Pixie Stick dust to a room full of 10 year old boys:

“Small sample size…we know this level of production is unsustainable…BUT.”

This BUT is a large BUT. It is bigger than Butte, Montana. This BUT is bigger than all the Kardashian buttockses put together into a Mecha Kardassian. E! hasn’t pivoted to reality/kaiju/mech yet, but anything’s possible if you can simply remind Kris that she hasn’t entirely ruined her family’s mental health. Asides aside, do not give into the temptation of the BUT. You do not want to be the person dropping their 13th rounder for a 5th OF who might be a 4th OF in a best case scenario. Promise me you will stay true to your fantasy heart. I know it can be hard. My roto team is batting sub .200 so far. Sob. Promise me you’ll stay the course.