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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”1281329″ player=”13959″ title=”2023%20Razzball%20BUY%20SELL%20HOLD%20for%20Fantasy%20Baseball%20Week%203″ duration=”169″ description=”It’s the Razzball BUY, SELL, HOLD for 2023 Fantasy Baseball Week 3!00:39 Jorge Soler1:22 Yandy Diaz2:03 Luis Rengifo ” uploaddate=”2023-04-12″ thumbnailurl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/snapshot/1281329_th_6436c7df20ec5_1681311711.jpg” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/1281329.mp4″ width=”480″ height=”270″]

Max Scherzer was cruising, as is often the case with Max Scherzer — had a line of 3 IP, 0 ER — when he was ejected for having (what the umpires believed to be) a foreign substance on his glove. Scherzer was screaming, “It’s rosin!” It seemed like the Pitchcom tape inside his glove because he calls his own game. It better — again, with some stank — IT BETTER check out as a foreign substance or all of those umpires should be suspended without pay for thirty games. Umps are power-mad idiots. You throw out a first ballot Hall of Famer for what you believe is something sticky? That’s absurd. You taint his legacy with some utter nonsense? Are you completely daft? Now, MLB instituted an automatic 10-game suspension for the offender, so Scherzer might miss another two starts due to this? Oh, this is some serious BS.

Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Brandon Nimmo – 5-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer. Nimmo found that one!

Noah Syndergaard – 6 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 4.91. It truly is bizarre how Syndergaard went from one of the biggest swinging d*cks in baseball to a guy with Mike Leake-type numbers. (That’s not “swinging ducks,” by the way.)

Jordan Diaz – 1-for-2, 1 RBI as he was also called up by the A’s with Ramon Laureano hitting the IL. The new Moneyball, which is No-Moneyball, and the A’s are making the most of their No-Money-having-selves. Diaz was tearing the cover off the ball in the minors. Sorry, that might be misleading. He hit one homer. He tore the cover off one ball. Rest of the balls remained covered. Itch said previously, “(Jordan is) a swing-heavy profile and decent-not-great athleticism are the only limiting factors for Diaz, who enjoyed a statistical breakout in 2022, slashing .326/.366/.515 with 19 home runs in 120 games across two levels. Listed at 5’10” 175 lbs, Diaz looks heavier than that to my eye, and although he might be almost maxed out physically, the upside on his kind of bat-to-ball skills (12.5 percent strikeout rate) is always a little hidden coming off the bus. Unless *fingers crossed* that bus runs over Grey.” Hmm, that’s not nice. He looks like a poor man’s Luis Arraez. Call him Luis I-need-a-raise.

Mason Miller – 4 1/3 IP, 2 ER, as he was called up. Wasn’t sure we’d even see him get into the 5th inning, so positive-ish on that account. His stuff looked downright filthy. Good enough to be rosterable in most leagues, even with the lack of wins and length to his starts. Of course, not at the expense of someone better.

Justin Steele – 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 1.44. Yes, he looked much better than Miller. He looks better than everyone except, like, maybe ten starters. If you recall, I did write a Justin Steele sleeper.

Eric Hosmer – 2-for-5, 3 runs and his 1st homer. “Sorry, kid, Hosmer homered off you, that means you have to spend at least 15 days in the minors.” That’s a coach reading the terms of agreement to Adam Oller.

Levi Stoudt – 4 IP, 7 ER, as he was called up. Levi might want to change his name to Eugenes and try again in a few months.

Yandy Diaz – 2-for-4 and his 6th homer, hitting .274. About that Launch Angle. It could change, but we’re only a few weeks in, believe it or not, this isn’t a large sample size — that’s what she said! If he’s altered his swing, then more power to Yandy. Literally! Not that he needs me to give him power, have you seen his arms? He was always a guy who could breakout if he corrected his Launch Angle, because of how hard he always hit the ball. Maybe this is a breakout, I’m merely suggesting we take more than three weeks to declare it.

Drew Rasmussen – 5 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 2.01. *jots down note* “Don’t open until March 2024: Draft only Rays pitchers.”

Trevor Rogers – Was pulled after 58 pitches with the slowest fastball velocity of his career. Yeah, ignore velocity in April, unless it’s got a 94 MPH fastball being confused for junk at 89 MPH, and it’s due to forearm issues, which it was yesterday for Rogers. Next stop, the Tommy John store next to El Pollo Loco.

Alex Cobb – 5 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 2.79. Someone asked yesterday if Cobb was a streamer, so…gut check! He has a 3.84 ERA in almost 1200 career innings. He has 10.2 K/9 and 1.4 BB/9 right now, but is usually around 9 K/9 and 2.5 BB/9. That’s not a streamer. That’s a fantasy number four-ish.

Mike Yastrzemski – 1-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer, and 2nd homer in as many games. Carl’s Jr. Jr. should just be rostered in all leagues, except maybe a three-outfielder, 10-teamer.

Julio Rodriguez – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer, and his 2nd homer in three games. Just gonna keep saying he didn’t homer last year until May.

Marco Gonzales – 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 3.78 vs. Eric Lauer – 7 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 4.30. This matchup was billed as, “What does the Streamonator say?”

Garrett Mitchell – Hit the IL with a subluxation of his shoulder. Subluxation sounds like a euphemism for staying at a Ramada Inn. “Oh, you went deluxe on your vacation?” “Um, no. More a subluxation.”

Kyle Bradish – 6 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 0.00. Whoa, pardner, this was his first start. Sorta. He made another start, but left in the 2nd inning, after taking a comebacker off his foot. Not a ton to go on here. Last year, he had a 4.90 ERA in 117 2/3 IP, but he should be better than that. How much? Still unclear, but he’s definitely worth a shot in some mixed leagues. His fastball-curve combo is good enough to get anyone out.

Trevor Larnach – 1-for-3, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and his 2nd homer. Oh, look at Mr. First Week Of The Season. Hello, Mr. First Week Of The Season, say hello to your mother for me.

Joey Gallo – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 4th homer, batting, .304, as he returns from the IL. If Gallo and Bellinger hit .300 this year, then that means Luis Arraez is hitting .450.

Edouard Julien – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer. I like Julien, so don’t take this the wrong way, but I wonder if he’s hitting well partially because pitchers don’t have a gameplan for him yet.

Luis Garcia – 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 5.14. I’d like one of these “Oh, thank God, this guy isn’t injured or just suddenly sucks” from all my pitchers.

Jose Berrios – 7 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 6.23. If he rattled off five more of these in a row, I might look at him.

Juan Soto – 2-for-4 and his 4th homer, hitting .194. Lookie, lookie, Sexy Dr. Pepper had a non-doodie game.

Nick Martinez – 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.01. Not sure if the Padres are sticking with a six-man rotation when Musgrove returns, but, if so, I’d guess they move Lugo to the pen vs. N-Mart.

Bobby Witt Jr. – 1-for-4 and his 3rd homer. He should lead the league in slams and legses — give more legses!

Brady Singer – 5 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 8.14. There’s a story, of a lovely lady, who was upchucking every time she started Brady Singer… Welp, we tried, but it’s prolly time to move on in shallower leagues until he looks better.

Jonah Heim – 2-for-4, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 3rd homer. Hit ’em with the Heim!

Andrew McCutchen – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer. I’d say he just hit a home run the other day and yadda that up, but we know to stream hitters in Coors, right?

Johan Oviedo – 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.22. Dan Pants just gave you the pants off his body in breaking down his Johan Oviedo fantasy. I don’t have much to add; Oviedo’s added velo in the right place-o. I’m wiling to take training wheels off, and try him for his next start, then go from there.

Aaron Judge – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 6th homer. With Giancarlo on the IL, Judge is forced to stand in the dugout, without his bench bookend to balance him.

Andrew Vaughn – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer. Last week, I played Vaughn over Kelenic and Kelenic had one of the biggest weeks of the season for a hitter. This week, you got it! I benched Vaughn for Kelenic. What I’m saying, I guess, is tell me who you want benched to get them going? You need Rizzo to hit a home run? I’ll bench him for you!

Mike Clevinger – 3 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 3.26. Every Phillies hitter coming out to face Mike Clevinger should have a walk-up song about shitty fathers. “…here’s Trea Turner now to…is that Everclear’s Father of Mine?” Later, “Hmm, this is an interesting musical choice for Alec Bohm’s walk-up song, he simply has a process server serving Clevinger with a subpoena.” Later, “Wow, Brandon Marsh’s walk-up song is Beck’s Loser but someone’s inserted ‘Mike Clevinger is a’ in front of Loser?” So, Clevinger’s numbers are even worse than Clevinger is as a person. He looks completely broken. Not talking about his moral character again. His command and his xFIP are hilariously atrocious.

Brandon Marsh – 2-for-4 and his 3rd homer. Was surprised Marsh wasn’t higher on the 7-day Player Rater, because he’s felt crazy hot. Must be all that facial hair. How does he deal with that in the summer? I feel like I can smell him through the TV.

Trea Turner – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and a slam (1) and legs (4). About time he hit his first homer. Another strike against the WBC, it drained Trea Turner of his homers!

Jose Alvarado – 1 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 1.08, and his 2nd save. Might want to give Rob Thomson more credit here, because it seems like he’s realized pretty quickly that Alvarado should be his closer.

Spencer Torkelson – 2-for-3 and his 2nd homer. At what point do we trust Torkelson? Three homers in a week? Seven homers on the year in six weeks or under? Never again?

Spencer Turnbull – 5 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 7.85. Not sure who’s coaching the Tigers’ pitching prospects at lower levels, but they’re all kinds of meh. Wouldn’t even look at Streamonator for Turnbull, and the Streamonator agrees.

Cal Quantrill – 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 4.15. Speaking of Streamonator, and good matchups, Quantrill’s matchups are better than Chupa Chups. And, in case you don’t know, it goes boba, sushi, Chupa Chups, then sex.

Brayan Rocchio – Was called up with Amed Rosario day-to-day. If it were announced that the Guards broke into the Astros’ computers and stole their scouting files, it wouldn’t shock me. Or maybe, due to the Astros’ success, everyone is following their lead on how to develop and/or scout players. Rocchio is Kwan, who was in a Michael Brantley mold who is the player both teams try to emulate. Okay power, decent speed, great contact. And the only place Brantley’s ever played? Cleveland and Houston! Okay power, decent speed, great contact is Rocchio. He doesn’t really have a job to play though, and will be sent back down in a day or two, unless Amed is more hurt than anyone’s saying.

Lars Nootbaar – Cardinals scored 14 runs and Nootbaar didn’t play, getting a breather. Holy sit!

Tommy Edman – 3-for-4, 3 runs, 5 RBIs and his 2nd homer, as he hit leadof. Well, I had this wild prediction that Brendan Donovan would stay at leadoff and Edman is done, but now it seems like the wild prediction was the friends we made along the way (that were saying Edman would be okay, and Donovan would struggle).

Nolan Gorman -1-for-3, 4 RBIs and his 5th homer. Ain’t trying to be a hater, but Gorman was used as a pinch-hitter, which is the problem. He doesn’t start every day.

Pavin Smith – 2-for-3, 2 runs and his 2nd homer, and his 2nd homer in as many games. Hot schmotato alert!

Alek Thomas – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer. Incredible, Jake McCarthy has become a platoon player. I hate you, Torey Lovullo.

Madison Bumgarner – 3 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 10.26. Mad-Bum has become Sad-Ass.