by: Grey
Guys and five girl readers, let’s remember back to last week when Fantasy Pros said I was the best fantasy baseball rankings:
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
People have lost their minds where they’re drafting Ha-Seong Kim. Prolly the most obvious overrated guy I’ve seen in some time. Rather than talking about Ha-Seong Kim and why he’s overrated, I think I can just do an Eminem-type rap about Kim. Oh-uh, I feel my rap altar ego, B. Fire, coming on. Watch out haters, here comes the Fire Man!
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
O. Henry typing up a player on his fantasy baseball website, “A player who has massive amounts of upside. Just absolutely loving this guy. He can be a cheap number one starter. I’d give my wife’s comb for this guy, and let her be all straggly and shizz. The only thing possibly going against this great, wonderful player is a small thing that likely won’t react negatively to his value and make this whole thing ironic. That thing is the player plays for the New York Mets.”
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
This one bums me out a bit, because I do like Kyle Schwarber. I kinda love the Phils, in their current state, tee be aitch, but Schwarber? Of course, I like Schwarber. The Schwarb-bomb? Schwarbs? Schwarbs is fun. It’s goofy that he hits leadoff, naturally, but I don’t find myself complaining about Kyle Schwarber, in general, during the heat of the fantasy baseball season. By the by, “the heat of the fantasy baseball season” is sweating out a H2H week, when you’re down one hit during Sunday Night Baseball, and you ate a bad batch of clams, hence the sweating, while sitting on the toilet.
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
I went to look at Royce Lewis on the Player Rater for last year just to see where he ended up. Last year is not this year — Thank you, Mr. Calendar! — but he ended up at 321st overall last year. Between Will Benson and Michael Conforto. I know, I know, it was only 58 games. He’s a top prospect.
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
You know things have really gone sideways when you’re out on the sexiest of the sexy guys like Elly De La Cruz. If you see Elly De La Cruz and think, “Ya know what? I don’t like what I see there,” then you just might be in the No Fun Zone. The NFZ is a place that is no fun to be. It’s kinda in the name. It’s like the DMZ without the threat of nuclear war. What fun is that? It’s like TMZ without Ben Affleck juggling Dunkin’ poorly. “Ben Affleck is carrying coffee from Dunkin’ and not spilling it! Let’s take pics for TMZ!” No, no one says that! People want Ben Affleck spilling shizz! Not drafting Cole Ragans is yet another example of Ben Affleck carrying an order of Dunkin’ in perfect containment.
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Elly De La Cruz is basically a Grey guy. There’s been very few more Grey guys than this Grey guy. He’s basically Mr. Grey Guy. His sex appeal is oozing and I trip over myself when catching his highlights out of the corner of my eye. I hate that, because often I will run into the corner of a desk, so Elly hurts me often. My fear is he’s going to be hurting many of you. I worry about my boys and five girl readers.
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
“Whoa, how about that Blake Snell deal? What about that Cody Bellinger deal? Can you believe that Matt Chapman deal? This is crazy! Deals be dealin’!” That’s what I would be saying if there were any deals being dealin’. Sadly, the entire sport is being held captive by Scott Boras and “(fill-in team name) is currently not looking at signing any free agents.” The Yankees are one big arm away from having a great team, and instead are like, “Hey, when Rodon can only throw 45 innings, it’s no biggie. We have Luke Weaver.” So, instead of a big signing, we have injury news. Kyle Bradish has a tear in his UCL
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
The best 2024 fantasy baseball team is a misnomer. Thankfully, none of us know what misnomer means. Sounds to me like someone tentatively wants to date the Travelocity Gnome’s daughter, “Miss Gnome, er, you wanna grab some boba and chill?” Miss Gnome brushes back her hair and bats her eyelashes that are almost as long as her two-and-half foot body, “I’d love to,” but her voice is high-pitched, which is a turnoff, so you cancel plans with her repeatedly until she gets the hint. Sorry, Miss Gnome, gotta ghost ya because I like my women’s voices low like their stature. Any hoo! So the title is hyperbole. What was I gonna say, “The Mostly Kinda Good Fantasy Baseball Team?” You’ll get over your scoffing; I have faith in you. This is the best 2024 fantasy baseball team that I can put together when drafting from my top 100 for 2024 fantasy baseball and top 500 for 2024 fantasy baseball. Honestly, I could draft another 25 teams from those lists, and they’d all be different, but equally terrific…Well, one of the twenty-five would only be sorta terrific, but it would be really hard to tell which one that is. If I took Matt Olson in the 2nd round, everything after would change. If I took Trea Turner in the 1st round, everything after would change. I’ve previously gone over my 2024 fantasy baseball draft prep for the first few rounds and pitchers pairings. For this exercise, I’m taking Bobby Witt Jr. in the first, because, well, I want to feel alive, and I’ve never drafted him before.
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Yesterday, I told you how to draft your pitchers for 2024 fantasy baseball. I laid it out to you nice and simple (if you have a degree in “What The Hell Is Grey Talking About?” Not a PhD, mind you. Just a BS.) Today, we forget all that jabberwocky on the who-ha and get down to business old school-style (which means if you don’t comprehend, I will hit you over the head with a baseball bat signed by Joe Clark.) What I’m hoping to lay out to you is who do you draft 2nd, if you’ve drafted so and so first. For easy reference, the royal we will be using the Top 10 for 2024 Fantasy Baseball, top 20 for 2024 fantasy baseball, and the beginning of the top 100 for 2024 fantasy baseball. I’m going to assume you’re in a 12 team, 5×5, MI, CI, 5 OF, 1 Utility, 1 Catcher league, similar to our Razzball Commenter Leagues. (Sign up for multiple leagues, and beat the heck out of your frenemies or make new frenemies!) Anyway, here’s some pairings for the first two rounds of 2024 fantasy baseball drafts:
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Here’s everyone’s favorite fantasy baseball draft tool delivered to you in time to repackage it and give it to your loved one on Valentine’s Day, pretending it came from you. Just remember the sex you have is thanks to me. You’re welcome. Okay, did you ever think we’d get to the end of the 2024 fantasy baseball rankings?
Please, blog, may I have some more?It’s year 14 of the RCLs! That’s right, if the RCLs are in the bathroom, don’t knock, just give them like five minutes because they’re checking the price guide for their Semien condition, so to speak. They grow up so fast, right? Soon, the RCLs are going to be dating, then fall for their high school sweetheart, then get married at 19, then quit school to support their young family.
Please, blog, may I have some more?