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Outfielders to Target, 2018 Fantasy Baseball

March 22, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 292 Comments

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We (me) have gone over the catchers, 2nd basemen, shortstops and 3rd basemen to target, cause I have to do everything around here!  Look at me, throwing shade like a beach umbrella!  That makes sense…if you don’t think about it!  That’s what I want my bumper sticker to say, and then when I step out of my car, I want my clever t-shirt to say it too, “That makes sense….if you don’t think about it.”  How can I arrange my life so this happens?  I need a personal assistant.  “So, it says you worked as Kanye’s assistant and you bought mirrors for nine months straight….”  That’s me checking the CV of my favorite imaginary assistant.  Okay, so this post is all the outfielders that are being drafted after 200 overall that I have uber-sexy feelings for.  Last year, I featured Aaron Judge, Domingo Santana and Joc Pederson, who I’ve featured every year since 1924, but not this year!  Now, this is a (legal-in-all-countries-except-Canada) supplement to the top 100 outfielders for 2018 fantasy baseball.  Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2018 projections.   Anyway, here’s some outfielders to target for 2018 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Baltimore Cooking Up Some Cobb Cakes

March 21, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 337 Comments

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Alex Cobb woke up in the middle of October and told his significant other that he was happy to be moving on from the Rays.  It was time to get out of the AL East.  Sure, Tropicana Field wasn’t unfriendly to his needs as a pitcher.  Over his career, he had a home ERA of 3.10.  But, ya know what?  It was time to move on.  Then, he woke one day in December, and told his significant other that at the Winter Meetings, NL teams would be ‘chomping on the Cobb.’  Then, off her reaction, he asked if she’d excuse the pun.  Then, one day in January, as he scratched his flip-flopped feet on the deck of his boat in the Gulf, he thought about how maybe the Rays weren’t a bad club to pitch for.  Then, in February, he called the Mariners’ front office with a voice modulator asking them if they needed a veteran starter.  Then, in early March, he bought a Korean language Rosetta Stone as he prepped to play overseas.  So, Alex Cobb signed with the Orioles, and *sighs* starts against the Yankees and Red Sox still, but now in Camden.  His starts are gonna be like this:  pitch is thrown, batter swings bat and screams, “Nailed it!”  This feels like a move that could lead to a 4.05 ERA or a 4.85 ERA.  I’m no longer interested in owning Cobb and have moved him into my top 100 starters and down the ol’ top 500 overall.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for 2018 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

3rd Basemen to Target, 2018 Fantasy Baseball

March 20, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 332 Comments

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Excuse the exposition and this clunky intro into aforementioned exposition, but here’s the catchers to target, 1st basemen to target, 2nd basemen to target, shortstops to target and something to stick to your dartboards to target.  These 3rd basemen to target are being drafted after 200 overall.  Keep in mind, nephew (and five niece readers), your Uncle Grey likes to have a corner man drafted by the time these guys appear, so you’re looking at potential utility men more than anything.  Now, this is a (legal-in-all-countries-except-Indonesia) supplement to the top 20 3rd basemen for 2018 fantasy baseball.  Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2018 projections.  Speaking of baseball (best segue ever!), the Stream-o-Nator, Hitter-Tron and DFSBot are now available, i.e., the Razzsubscriptions.  Anyway, here’s some 3rd basemen to target for 2018 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Tout Wars, NL-Only Recap: The Champ Is Here

March 19, 2018 | Our Leagues | 384 Comments

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Last year, I won Tout Wars in a wire-to-wire cakewalk.  So, before the Tout Wars draft this Saturday, I prepared like any great champ would.  I took a page from Rocky Balboa and ran up a flight of stairs, hands raised in exultation.  I took a page from Ultimate Warrior and ordered a group of preteen girls to tighten the slack on a jump rope and shook it furiously.  Finally, I took a page from E.T. and draped myself in a blanket, squatted in a bicycle basket and had Rudy pedal me around our hotel room floor.  Did E.T. have anything to do with being a champion?  Not especially, but I was feeling nostalgic for some faux sentimentality and Ready Player One isn’t out yet.  In my mind, I was standing, arms raised, with a lone spotlight shining on me as Lin-Manuel Miranda sang how I was not going to throw away my shot at a repeat.  Only it wasn’t in my mind.  In our hotel room, Rudy shined an iPhone flashlight on me as we played a rather tinny version of Hamilton off YouTube.  I’m past patiently waitin’ I’m passionately mashin’ every expectation!  And I’m not throwing away my shot!  *clears throat*  “Um, Rudy, could you help me down from this Marriott end table?  I’m getting vertigo.”  Anyway, here’s my Tout Wars, NL-Only recap:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Shortstops to Target, 2018 Fantasy Baseball

March 16, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 325 Comments

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Two years ago, this post and the 2nd basemen to target were necessary evils like changing underwear.  Whether you wanted to or not, it was a good idea to take a flyer on a late middle infielder, and you were still expecting to get crapped on.  Then last year, I got goofy with myself and thought there were a ton of early, sexy-AF middle infielders.  You know what they say, “When you think, you make a think out of you and me.”  This year, I’m back to punting MI and there’s about a dozen 2nd basemen/shortstops that are going to make this possible, so let’s get in there like swimwear.  This is a (legal-in-all-countries-except-Lichtenstein) supplement to the top 20 shortstops for 2018 fantasy baseball.  The players listed have a draft rank after 200 on other sites.  Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2018 projections.  Anyway, here’s some shortstops to target for 2018 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

NL-Only, 12 Team Draft Recap or: I Drafted Ronald Acuna, Commence Exclamatory Punctuation

March 15, 2018 | Our Leagues | 211 Comments

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The other day I had a dream that Giancarlo and I were hosting a white party in the Hamptons, and I turned to Giancarlo and said, “You know who else I wish were here?”  And he said, “Zsa Zsa Gabor?”  And I said, “No, we’re not gay in the traditional sense.  We’re only gay for each other.”  Then he said, “Well, who do you wish were here then, silly?”  And I said, “Ronald Acuna,” only I said it in exclamation marks shaped like Gregorian letters, if Gregorian letters is what you call these things I’m typing out with my hand-toes.  That’s right, snitches, Greycarlo is sending out Evites and Ronald Acuna’s invited!  And guess what, jerks?  I also drafted Ronald Acuna on a fantasy baseball team (for SEO)!  This league was hosted by CBS’s Scott White, and all your favorite ‘perts were there, like that one guy whose name you forgot, and that other guy who has diabetes who you also can’t remember.  They were all there!  Oh, and returning champ, our very own, Lance Broshitz!  Anyway, here’s my 12-team, NL-Only draft with some thoughts:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Rangers Put Away Willie Out Of Fear There Are Holes In His Glove

March 14, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 327 Comments

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And we have have our first stupid team decision!  Don’t worry, there will be more.  Or maybe I should say Willie be more.  Or maybe should say Willie be less now.  The Rangers decided to send down Willie Calhoun to start the year.  I’d laugh if I wasn’t so horrified by this terrible decision.  Talk about blatantly thinking about a bottom line vs. what’s best for the team.  On one hand, Willie Calhoun was ready to help the team win right now.  On the other hand, the Rangers are as cheap as my Jewish grandmother who used to order three free lemon wedges, two sugar packets and make lemonade at the table.  Hey, she escaped Nazi Germany in the middle of the night.  What’s your excuse, Texas Rangers?!  In my Willie Calhoun fantasy from way back in October, I predicted Calhoun could be in the minors until June.  Looks like I didn’t underestimate the Rangers’ boneheadedness (big word of the day!).  Now the Rangers will go with a blahtoon of the Asian lion, Ryan Rua, and Drew Robinson.  I’ve updated my top 100 outfielders, top 500 and War Room.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for 2018 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

2nd Basemen To Target, 2018 Fantasy Baseball

March 13, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 195 Comments

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Psst!  This post is gonna list 2nd basemen that you should target in your 2018 fantasy baseball drafts.  I’m whispering because you don’t want everyone to see this post.  No, I can’t whisper louder, then it WOULDN’T BE WHISPERING!  Okay, gig’s up (or maybe that’s jig’s up), the love I’m about to reiterately (Made Up Word of the Day!) confirm is on these guys I love later in drafts.  I’m not going to mention Ian Happ other than this one mention of him where I say I’m not going to mention him.  I’m not mentioning Happ other than this mention of not mentioning him because these are players that you’re looking at later and all of them have ADPs after 200.  Some could be the 2nd baseman on your team, they are more than likely MIs.  This is a (legal-in-all-countries-except-Croatia) supplement to the top 20 2nd basemen for 2018 fantasy baseball.  Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2018 projections.  Anyway, here’s some 2nd basemen to target for 2018 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Jake Has A Job, Thankphilly

March 12, 2018 | Uncategorized | 265 Comments

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This weekend I went to Palm Springs to see the in-laws, and I was saying to Father Cougs that I wished I bet on the Phillies to win the World Series back in November when we were in Vegas.  He replied, “With all that blog money you have?”  Then I went to the bathroom and told my reflection, “One day they’re not gonna laugh at you!  I promise you that Reflection Grey!”  Then, while sitting in a stall, I listened on my iPhone to the theme from Rocky, Gonna Fly Now, and stabilized my ego.  Trying hard now!  Gettin’ strong now!  Gonna fly now!  Any hoo!  The newest favorite son of Philadelphia, Jake Arrieta, joined an already underrated starting rotation.  I’d contend (for the welterweight championship) that Arrieta isn’t even their ace, that label goes to the guy draped in Mardi Gras beads, Nola.  For a while, it appeared Arrieta was headed to Philly.  I hear the hold up was due to Arrieta unable to find a special type of umbrella.  “Do you have an umbrella that blocks thrown batteries?”  In the top 40 starters, I said, “At this stage in Arrieta’s career, I don’t see his value changing much no matter where he signs.  If he goes to Miller Park, Chase or Coors, then I’ll lower him a little, but I see no way I raise him up outside of a move to Petco, which doesn’t seem likely, because the Padres are playing for 2020, then, in 2020, they’ll be playing for 2023.”  And that’s me quoting me!  See, so nothing really changes, and I’m not looking to draft Arrieta suddenly, but a solid real world move for the Phils.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for 2018 fantasy baseball:

Psyche!  Before we get into the roundup, there’s a $10 league signup today that needs some people.  When we did the polling of what youse wanted in your fantasy leagues, a large majority of you wanted paid leagues, but I’m getting the feeling we may not be doing them next year, and go back to all free leagues.  You don’t want to bet $10 to win $100 that you’re better than eleven others?  C’mon, put that Jimmy John’s sub money where your mouth is!  Hey, I could write ad copy.  Anyway, the roundup:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

KC Helps Out Royally Screwed Moose

March 9, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 248 Comments

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Scott Boras is pushing this “MLB owners are in collusion” narrative, and what better way to push that agenda than have Mike Moustakas turn down a $17.4 million dollar qualifying offer from the Royals to re-sign with them for $6.5 million.  Boras is playing a long con here, and no one’s seeing it!  But I see it!  *takes index and middle finger and points at eyes, then points at picture of Boras*  You know who Mike Moustakas needed as his agent?  Regina King.  She is doggedly persistent.  Have you ever seen Regina King quit?  Oh hell no.  There’s no quit in that woman in every role she’s in.  If Scott Boras were married to Cuba Gooding Jr. in Jerry Maguire, Cuba would’ve signed for chump change, and never waited for his quan moment.  Moustakas needs to hire Regina King, stat!  So, I haven’t changed anything in my projection and ranking for Moustakas in my top 20 3rd basemen for 2018 fantasy baseball with this re-signing, because that was the baseline I was projecting off of anyway.  Now to see if I can get Regina King to do my auction bidding for me.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for 2018 fantasy baseball:

Psyche!  Before we get into the post, there are a few RCL drafts this weekend that need you!  You as in you you.  Why are you looking over your shoulder?  I’m talking to you!  Sign up for a league, and if we don’t fill them, you’ll get your money back, but let’s assume they will be filled because you like to win some cash-money.  Yes, you you still!  Also, in those leagues are JayWrong and MattTruss, so you know the leagues will be talked about on the site.  Anyway, the roundup:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

1st Basemen to Target, 2018 Fantasy Baseball

March 8, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 254 Comments

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My prior, uber, hard-line stance has been that you with that one hair wrapped around your head acting as a hairstyle don’t want to draft a sleeper 1st baseman.  By the by, I tried to replace Uber with Lyft in the previous sentence, but it didn’t make sense.  Previously, I’d tell you to go to my top 20 1st basemen for 2018 fantasy baseball (not clickbait at all) and draft some top guys and stop fooling around with sleepers at this position.  Of course, I’m malleable like Gumby and this year I could see drafting a sleeper first baseman, though at my corner infidel or utility slot.  Yes, I still want a top 1st baseman.  No, ‘utility slot’ doesn’t have multiple meanings.  Yes, even for fantasy.  As with other positions like the catchers to target (again, not clickbait), these are 1st basemen that are being drafted after the top 200 overall.  I love Rhys Hoskins, but he’s not going to appear here.  Dear, steer clear–*short circuiting internal rhyming dictionary*  Anyway, here’s some 1st basemen to target for 2018 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Spring Training Stats For Fantasy Baseball

March 7, 2018 | 2018 Fantasy Baseball Draft | 266 Comments

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Baseball, like a flower, blooms in the spring.  They also share equally effusive PR people.  Just the other day I read about how a petunia’s branches gained 15 pounds and was in the best shape of its life.  Sure, it’s always good to look at spring training numbers to give you an idea what you can expect from guys during the season — can I draft Ronald Acuna yet?!  Players in spring training are facing the top pitchers who are all displaying their best stuff.  No one needs time to get warmed up.  No one’s trying new pitches or getting a feel for the ball.  They are at the height of their game in the beginning of March.  Our former commissioner, Bud, once doffed his toupee and tried to have the World Series played in March.  Since these spring training numbers mean so much, I decided to look at some players stats so far:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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