On the left side of the screen, my face comes out and says, “Jon.” My face comes out on the right side of the face and says, “Gray.” Welcome back to another edition of Grey on Gray. How is Jon Gray this good? We go to my first thought, “The Rangers are cheating.” No? Okay, maybe not, but their offense is fierce and their pitching is about as good as the Rays. Wait a minute…Rays…Grays…My God! They’re both cheating! No? Okay, perhaps not, but Jon Gray (9 IP, 1 ER, 4 hits, zero walks, 12 Ks, ERA at 2.32) looks gorgeous, and there’s no shame in us kinda sharing a name. Welcome aboard the Gray Train! Next stop googling old pictures of Erin Gray on Buck Rogers! Short story on Jon Gray: He could be this good; he’s not quite this good; he could get lucky all year; there’s scenarios in play; semi-colons are fun. A 2.32 ERA is a tough order to maintain. Regression could happen. Coolwhip just gave you a full Jon Gray fantasy that is comprehensive to his changes. It’s all down to a very nasty slider and his sweeper (which is a horizontal slider), or just his slider, depending on where you’re looking. It’s been pitch black–damn, I shouldn’t have used a thesaurus for that. It’s lights out. A combo of a change working, slider killing them, a fastball inducing weak fly balls and cheating has made Jon Gray go from okay to may-as-well-be-on-the-Rays.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Jack Flaherty – 6 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners (5 BBs), 8 Ks, ERA at 4.15. Against the 1927 Rangers, this feels like a Complete Game Shutout. Take a lap, Flaherty! You can use some of those walks.

Roansy Contreras – 1/3 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 5.91. Know a lot of you are aware I drafted Alek Manoah, and I appreciate all the notes that were sent privately and publicly. Thankfully, I’ve replaced him with Roansy Contreras!

Rodolfo Castro – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 6th homer, hitting .268. *puts tin foil hat on* Rodolfo is the red-nosed reindeer when Santa’s flying over Latin America. Also, they spoke Latin in Roman Empire, which was known for its bacchanalia, and you take the A’s vs Pirates matchup, then lose an apostrophe and a V, and what do you have? Hmm?! Hmm?! Heathens! Case closed!

Ryan Noda – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 7th homer, as he hits leadoff, hitting near-.400 in the last week. Thank you, grandma!

Trevor May – 2/3 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 5.93 and his 1st save. The A’s have named a closer?! What?! *pushes a Noda to the ground as I run to waivers to grab May and his incoming four saves over the course of four months with a 6+ ERA*

Brandon Lowe – Shut down for three weeks. Taking the over. That’s roughly six weeks over. Anyone want any action?

Isaac Paredes – 1-for-2 and his 9th homer. Fun fact about Isaacs! Steve Jobs called his testicle an iSack. Hey, I’m a trivia buff, what can I say.

Randy Arozarena – 2-for-4 and his 12th homer. A scientist inspects a tree limb and says conclusively, “This is the world’s strongest tree limb.” Me, out on that tree limb, “The Rays seem pretty good.”

Pablo Lopez – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 6Ks, ERA at 4.25. Streamonator loved this start of Pab-Lo in Tampa, and I thought the robot might have a screw loose, but there ya go. AI for the win!

Brandon Belt – 2-for-4 and his 4th homer, and 2nd homer in three games. Last time he homered, I said he’s the type to get very hot, very fast. And today I say, “Yup.”

Bo Bichette – 1-for-4 and his 14th homer, and 2nd homer in two games. Yeah, but no steals, so who cares, right, BDon?

Chris Bassitt – 8 IP, 2 ER, 4 hits, zero walks, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.29. He has a career 3.45 ERA, and his ERA the last two years was 3.15 and 3.42. Find a safer pitcher. I’ll wait (I won’t wait).

Yordan Alvarez – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 17th homer. Captain Woo Cubano dedicated this home run to Iron Shiek. RIP.

Ronel Blanco – 6 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners (4 BBs), 5 Ks, ERA at 3.86. I’d love to say he’s great, go grab him, but no, and also no.

Jo Adell – Was recalled. He was brought up because Hunter Renfroe’s out on paternity leave. So, unless Renfroe impregnated a giraffe and labor takes five weeks, Adell’s being sent back down in three days, and he didn’t even start yesterday.

Luis Rengifo – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and a slam (4) and legs (5), hitting .224, and his 2nd homer n the last three games. Angels have a game of “Ren” musical chairs being played. Music starts. Rendon returns, Renfroe leaves, and Rengifo gets hot. Music stops.

Noah Syndergaard – 3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 7.16. It’s wild, and, frankly, seems illegal that they gave Noah Syndergaard Jose Lima’s ulnar collateral ligament.

Pete Alonso – Left the game after taking a pitch off his wrist. The Mets’ doctors says it’s a contusion and he’s day-to-day. So, it’s worse than I thought. We’re gonna need a prayer hexagon for Pete.

Max Scherzer – 5 2/3 IP, 5 ER, 11 hits, zero walks, 10 Ks, ERA at 3.71. How about that K-BB though, huh?!

Francisco Alvarez – 1-for-4 and his 9th homer. He has nine homers; the top catcher has 12 homers. And people were talking about dropping Alvarez because he went a full four games without a homer.

Sean Murphy – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 12th homer. Tied with Sal P. if you were wondering.

Michael Harris II – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 3rd homer. “I know the sign says ‘No Dumping’ but that doesn’t include guys I drafted for fantasy, does it–Hold on! He moved! Harris is alive!”

Justin Lawrence – 2 IP, 2 ER, ERA at 3.41, as he blew his 1st save. Don’t worry, he can blow another five or six before he’s in any real danger of losing his job back to Johnson, while Bard continues to pitch well in the 6th.

Nolan Jones – 2-for-4 and his 2nd homer, hitting .316. He’s actually been playing, and hitting and I can’t generate enthusiasm for him, because Bud Black has disappointed me so many times before. I hear his name and I flinch! I’m damaged!

Joey Wiemer – 4-for-4, 5 RBIs and his 7th and 8th homer, and three homers this week. Now that the Brewers sent down Turang, space has opened a bit, and Weimer might have some light schmotato tendencies.

Andruw Monasterio – 1-for-5, 1 run, 1 RBI. Could be the direct benefactor of Turang being sent down, but the Brewers have a ton of guys who need at-bats, as Contreras and Urias didn’t play yesterday, and they seem like they want to make Singleton a thing like fetch.

Corbin Burnes – 8 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, zero walks, 9 Ks, ERA at 3.36. Burnes is capable of being an ace. Glory to the Fantasy Baseball Overlord Ministries, it’s about time he showed it.

Willy Adames – 2-for-5 and his 10th homer in his first game back from the 7-day concussion IL. That’s right, for seven days he watched the movie Concussion. *shudders* Poor guy.

Will Smith – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 9th homer. Even worse, he had to star in the Concussion movie!

Mookie Betts – 1-for-5 and his 16th homer. Mookie Best!

Miguel Vargas – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 6th homer. Member when people were hyping up Vargas in the preseason and I was like, “He’s okay, but, yeah, just okay.” Why weren’t those people hyping Elly De La Cruz?! Ask them that! (Sorry, I am on the adrenaline of watching Cruz’s homer on repeat. Let’s get to it…)

Elly De La Cruz – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer. It was 114.8 MP off the bat and went 458 feet. Hopefully he doesn’t try for homers. Because it’s dangerous for people in the parking lot!

Tyler Stephenson – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer, and 2nd homer in the last three games. When one guy from the Big Red Young Machine clicks, they all click. By the way, McLain’s hitting like .350.

Corbin Carroll – 4-for-5, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and a slam (11) and legs (18), hitting .300. Pretty good 1st half if he gets to the All-Star Break of his rookie year with a 15/25/.280 year. Cust obvious.

Kutter Crawford – 3 IP, 1 ER, ERA at 3.44. As mentioned on this week’s podcast, I’m interested in Kutter, but he’s got a long way to go to get stretched out.

Edward Cabrera – 5 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 4.29, but left with a  blister. But he’s gotta move these re-fridge-er-a-tors. He’s gotta move these color tee-vees.

Luis Arraez – 2-for-4, 2 runs, hitting .403. He slowly, but methodically held a Bic lighter under Ted Williams’s frozen head, thinking Ted would like to see Arraez hit a lazy bloop into left field.

Jesus Sanchez – 3-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 6th homer, as he hits third, and his 2nd homer in the last two games. Oh, bee tee dubs, he’s hitting near-.300 on the year. Hot schmotato, sure, but also could be breaking out.

George Kirby – 3 2/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 3.50. Too bad San Diego wasn’t closer to Canada, and this game could’ve been postponed, due to air conditions. When in doubt, blame Canada.

Michael Wacha – 6 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.18. Ask someone who tells you to draft pitching high what they think about Wacha. Just ask them and report back to me the answer. I’m curious. Truly. By the by, Nathan Eovaldi is the top starter overall on the Player Rater. Just as everyone assumed. You know, naturally. Or ‘natch, if you’re in a rush.

Juan Soto – 5-for-5, 1 run, 4 RBIs, and his 1st career 5-hit game. “Juan, do you remember when the Padres started playing as a team?” Juan Soto considered the question, thoughtfully. Finally, he answered, “It was when Gary Sanchez joined the team. He relayed a story of how many times he was hit in the nuts, and it inspired the entire clubhouse.”

Gary Sanchez – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 4th homer. After so many shots to the nuts, you wouldn’t think this sorta rebirth was possible for Gary Sanchez.