Yesterday, Rafael Devers was called up by the Red Sox. Meh, if he’s anything like Danvers, Mass., I’m good. Somewhere, Prospector Ralph just Hulk-smashed his computer. Say something bad about Rafael Devers and Prospector Ralph goes full Clubber Lang at the Rocky statue. “You want a real man to play third base with your wife?” Devers’ minor league numbers (20 HRs, near-.310 across two levels this year in 85 games) look like yet another Benintendi, but with more power. The Sons of Sam Horn will go legit Sophie’s Choice if you try to get them to choose between Benintendi and Devers. “I’d prefer to eat at a Wahlburgers every day for the rest of my life than choose between those two. Oh, and Yankees suck!” After owning Benintendi for the past four months, I think I might prefer Devers next year, if he’s all that he’s cracked up to be. Not to get too crazy, but can anyone say a lefty Miggy? If you can’t say it, you might need to see a speech therapist. Devers is absolutely a grab in all leagues to see how looks. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Harold and Kumar Go To Buy Castellanos
July 21, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 346 Commentsby: Grey
Like a kindergartner who just discovered boogers, I was digging into exit velocity and launch angle, because, ya know, these are important things now. Is it me or does it feel like sabermetricians think they’ve reinvented the wheel every six months only to abandon all the new stuff in six months for something else? “This is Marvin! Marvin Berry, your cousin! Yo, put down your ERA+ and VORP, I need you to hear about exit velocity!” So, Nick Castellanos is regularly talked about when exit velocity and launch angles are brought up. His average exit velocity is 90 MPH. The top is Aaron Judge at 95 MPH, and Castellanos looks to be about 40th on the list (it wasn’t numbered, and I’m too lazy to count). The top 40 is filled with hitters who are excelling at ghosting faster than others, but is also littered with disappointing names: Machado, Gallo, Sandoval and Miggy, to name a few, and there is at least half you don’t want. I could make a case that Adam Lind is as enticing as Castellanos using just exit velocity, which I guess is my point. It’s a fun new metric (not that new, not that fun), but, in my estimation, it’s like a piece of evidence found at a crime. It’s got the victim and suspect’s DNA on it, but if it doesn’t fit you can choose to ignore it. Granted, that doesn’t rhyme quite as well. Castellanos is 2nd in the majors for Hard Contact%. Right in front of Miggy. Again, you can read into that anything you want. I still believe the Castellanos breakout is coming one of these years (he’s still only 25), but if you watch him hit, he has a line drive stroke, not a home run one. The launch angle data is even less compelling for Castellanos because he drives balls the opposite way. You can mollywhop, but if you’re going the other way, it’s not going to do as much damage unless you are Giancarlo or Judge, i.e, a giant living amongst Lilliputians. The Greek God of Exit Velocity pulls line drives and hits fly balls the other way. It might be the leg kick, it might be his natural swing tendencies, but it’s obvious if you look at his spray charts. With all that said (here’s where Grey throws everything out), there’s no one hotter right now and it’s silly he’s only owned in 40% of leagues. Okay, enough of Grey’s impersonation of Fangraphs… Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Jake Delivers Homer-Pleasing Duo Of Lamb Chops
July 21, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 204 Commentsby: Grey
Since I haven’t touted my wares in a minute, I wrote a Jake Lamb sleeper post last December. Going back to read that now, and, I don’t often laugh at my own stuff, but the opening paragraph is funny. Not unintentionally either, like I called Aaron Judge a preseason bust (I actually liked Judge a lot in the preseason, and own him; something I also don’t tout often — the hype’s strong enough, isn’t it?). Then, into the 2nd paragraph, I drop more gems, but they’re useful vs. haha. One gem that particularly stands out to me as I reread it, Jake Lamb hates the summer. He might also dislike girls that wear Abercrombie & Fitch. Before yesterday’s 2-for-5, 6 RBIs, two-homer game, Lamb had a .150 average in July with no homers. Last year, as I point out in that post, he was just as bad — 9 HRs, .197 in the 2nd half. Last year, there was a wrist problem — That’s what she said! What? — so maybe his splits aren’t as obvious as a banana gymnast. Here’s hoping he makes last year an outlier and not the beginning of male pattern badness. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?I have Michael Jackson’s autograph from his three distinct artistic periods — Jackson 5, breakout solo artist, fondler — and while they are priceless, I’m going to put them by this open window–NOOOOO!!! Torenado!!! I been pouring out some liquor for the fact that Arenado’s homers are gone, gone, gone. And trying to help fantasy baseballers (<–my mom’s term!) if their Correa is gone. And since Arenado starting to bubble like a tub full of Calgon. Guess it’s only right that I should help you with how much Nolan Arenado hits are gone. Sorry, that song was on my iTunes, and felt appropriate. If my baby boo bae, Giancarlo, wasn’t metaphorically already all over my bedsheets, Arenado would be right there. Yesterday, he went 5-for-6, 4 runs, 7 RBIs with three homers (19, 20, 21), and the summer is here in Coors. Yippee, you mothertruckers! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? J.D. Power Now Associates With The D-Backs
July 19, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 537 Commentsby: Grey
Yesterday, J.D. Martinez was traded to the Diamondbacks for Dawel Lugo, Sergio Alcantara and Jose King, a package that has been described by me as a .280, 40-homer hitter for Okay, Who Cares and So What. My visions of Yasmany Tomas returning and helping my NL-Only team went from “Hello, what’s your name, Pamela Sue?” to “No, my name is Pamela and I’m suing you for sexual harassment.” The ol’ 180 in the pants. Well, I’ll save the rest of my moans and/or groans for my shrink, since this is great news for Just Dong. That should be a 90 degree turn in the pants for Just Dong owners. Has he ever hit in Chase Field? Doesn’t matter, he’s about to love it. Outside of Coors and Miller, there’s no place I’d rather my player move for hitting and between-inning dips in a hot tub. (The Coors and Miller hot tubs are gnarly, by the way. “Did you say swell?” “No, I said swill.”) For FAAB, I’d go aggressively after Just Dong like he was the last guy to move to the NL, even if he might not be. He’s a 35-homer guy in Comerica. In Chase, he could be the equivalent to a 45-homer guy over the final ten weeks. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Regression Fairies Out Of Cage And Leaving Las Vargas
July 18, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 452 Commentsby: Grey
Hehe, I’m such a jerk. I finally dedicate a lede to Jason Vargas and it’s to point out how bad he was last night — 2 2/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA up to 3.06. Well, look at it this way. If he wasn’t good for so long, him being bad wouldn’t matter. For unstints, my friend texted me yesterday, “R. Kelly’s being accused of holding girls against their will in his cult.” I texted back, “That’s one cult where you really don’t want to drink the Kool-Aid.” It was the least surprising news yesterday. 2nd least surprising is the Vargas regression. What happens with regression, stays in Vargas. He’s not done regressing either, if his peripherals hold. He has a 6.8 K/9, 2.4 BB/9 and 4.87 xFIP, i.e., A lost Vargas is not just a Wynn, but one of those sure-cuts, sure-cuts. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?Matt Grace picked up his 2nd save in as many games on Saturday for the Nationals, and Ben Zobrist’s wife started to work on a song titled, “Saving Grace,” and requested Ben’s trade to Washington. Then, first thing on Sunday, the Nats traded for Ryan Madson and Sean Doolittle, and Saving Grace became a B-side for “Halleberrylujah, A Catwoman Licks Herself (Rated PG).” When asked if the trade makes his team better, the Nats’ GM said, “That’s right,” and, “I’m Mike Rizzo.” Picture this: Dusty and Rizzo looking at a book called, “Baseball Strategy.” Rizzo looks at Dusty, and Dusty says, “I got the baseball part,” and Rizzo nods his head. Finally, Rizzo chimes in, “I don’t know the 2nd word and I don’t think it’s worth investigating.” Dusty agrees, and that’s the Nationals. So, who will close between Madson and Doolittle? Your guess = my guess. I’d want to say Madson, but it could be either, both or neither as they trade for David Robertson or someone else. By the time the calendar turns to August, the Nationals might have five closers from teams not in the pennant chase. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?Since there were no games this week and players haven’t been able to get hot or cold or humid, this Buy/Sell is going to be slightly different. This Buy/Sell includes some players that are owned in more than 50% of leagues. Okay, that’s not different for the Sells, but it does change the Buys. “Hello? No, B-U-Y-S. Thanks, you too!” That was GLAAD calling me about potential insensitivity. I have not triggered anyone in almost three days, unless you count that fisherman I saw with a pipe that I called “Hipster Popeye.” As I mentioned in my top 100 for the 2nd half of 2017 fantasy baseball, my biggest Buy of the 2nd half is Manny Machado. He’s about to come on in the 2nd half like he’s Mickey Maris in 1927 with Barry Bonds’s personal trainer. For the 2nd half, I gave Machado the projections of 48/18/49/.288/3. This year he’s been gun shy. He’s swung at 4% less pitches inside the strike zone. Either guessing wrong, or just being flat out beat by fastballs. Ground balls have gone through the roof (especially if ants are reading) and fly balls have fallen, and I don’t mean a defective zipper. Bad swings, and weak contact? I’m gonna call them flailing balls, lightly chuckle to myself and sip my Tom Collins. That’s all bad news, said Mr. Exposition. The good news is, it’s a small sample size — that’s what she said snidely! — and it’s been mostly propped by a terrifically terrible — terribically? — May. His May was so bad it will hold down his season-long stats. In May, he had a 6% line drive rate and a 51% ground ball rate. El oh what? Was he a 78-year-old Jeter for a month? By the way, 78-year-old Jeter is dating your 23-year-old niece, and you’re proud of her. You absolutely should buy Machado, and on the pronto. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Top 100 for 2nd Half of 2017 Fantasy Baseball
July 11, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 673 Commentsby: Grey
Welcome, prematurely balding men and five women who are married to prematurely balding men and decided if you can’t beat them, join them! Make yourself comfortable, this is gonna be a long post. Here, enjoy some coffee. Oops, you just drank rat poison. Don’t worry, it can’t be worse than owning Matt Harvey in the 1st half. Oh, you owned him and that’s why you drank the poison! Now, I’m following! Hey, I’m supposed to be leading! Before we get into the top 100 for the 2nd half of 2017 fantasy baseball, let’s just be glad our 18-year-old selves can’t see us now, we’d get beat up! But our twelve-year-old selves would think we’re the coolest! So, as with all of the other 2017 fantasy baseball rankings, take this list with a grain of salt. If you need a 2nd baseman, but an outfielder is above him that doesn’t mean you can’t trade that outfielder for that 2nd baseman. Also, things change in fantasy baseball. Daily. I could put Bryce Harper number two on the top 100 list for the second half of 2017 and he could pull a–Well, we won’t even mention an injury with Bryce. Why soil a good thing, ya know? This list is a road map for where I think guys are valued. It’s not the Holy Grail in the Church of Grey, that would be my mustache. This list is NOT (caps for emphasis, not aesthetics) where I see guys ending up if you were to take their first half and combine it with the 2nd half. This is simply a list of the top hundred fantasy baseball players if you were to pick them up today. So while Mike Trout did not have the greatest first half, he will appear on this list because, well, Mike Trout. The projections are not their combined 1st half and 2nd half numbers; these are their projections for the 2nd half of 2017. I also liberally used our rest of the season Fantasy Baseball Player Rater. That’s right, we have a Player Rater that tells you what players will do. It’s like that camera from The Twilight Zone. Welcome to the future! Anyway, here’s the top 100 for fantasy baseball for the 2nd half of 2017:
Please, blog, may I have some more?This is an excerpt of a phone call Razzball intercepted during Sunday’s afternoon games. Since every state involved is a two-party consent for recording, we cannot reveal who recorded the call, but it rhymes with Trudy Gramble. Here, let’s listen in: “Hello, this is the CEO of Super Ball, the world’s hardest, bounciest, craziest, shouldn’t-be-used-as-a-baseballiest ball. Who is this calling?” Our Commissioner Rob Manfred disguises his voice so he sounds raspy, “I’m Kathleen Turner. I was wondering if you would sell me 70,000 Super Balls to not be used for baseball purposes.” “Body Heat Kathleen Turner? Not to get all James Lipton, but I am a huge fan of your–” “Okay, toots…” Manfred lowers the phone receiver, to his secretary, “Toots?” Back into the phone, “Um, so don’t make me kill you and blame a different femme fatale. I need those Super Balls.” So, yesterday was bonkers for homers, yet again. I will now list the home runs by guys in just the Astros game: Yulieski Gurriel (2-for-5, 2 runs) hit his 11th; Jose Altuve (3-for-4, 4 runs, 3 RBIs, hitting .347) hit his 13th; Evan Gattis (2-for-5, 2 runs, 4 RBIs) hit his 8th and Carlos Correa (4-for-5, 5 RBIs) and two homers, his 19th and 20th. Holy Salami Tom, there’s a crapton of home runs this year. I have two mixed leagues where I feel like if I’m not getting at least five homers per day, I’m falling behind. Also, on a pitching front, if I can just maintain a 3.50 ERA, I could come in first for ERA. By the way, I hope we’re not sued by Our Commissioner Rob Manfred, but something must be done. Get the Super Balls out of baseball! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Be Pham Buy Dextrous and Use Both Hands To Pick Him Up
July 7, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 414 Commentsby: Grey
I need to come clean about something. It’s embarrassing, and I hope once I tell you you don’t judge me. This is a bit of a trust fall for me. Okay, the truth is, whenever a player breaks out, I start singing Breakout by Swing Out Sister. I put down the convertible top on my canary yellow Sebring, flipping down my sunglasses, adjusting my spandex shorts, because they ride up all the time, and Tommy Pham, fist pump, BREAKOUT!
In Triple-A, Pham had 10 homers and 20 steals in 2014, but, like some many young hitters with the Cardinals (really, only hitters; pitchers they have no problem promoting and playing), they’ll play someone like The Federalist and never give a prospect hitter an opportunity. Now that Pham’s about to turn 30 (in nine months), the Cards have finally given him playing time. There’s nothing here long-term, but he does have power, speed and, finally, the playing time, so, Swing Out Sister and BREAKOUT! And, y’all who think I don’t keep it real, Tupac would date Swing Out Sister, then send her a letter from prison, breaking it off, only to realize halfway through the letter, he shouldn’t break it off, he should BREAKOUT!
Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Domingo Dia Divertido! (Well, It Rhymes In English)
July 7, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 333 Commentsby: Grey
So, this legit blew my mind. As you know, I’m busy getting my top 100 for the 2nd half ready for next week, and I was looking at our Player Rater. So, Domingo Santana? He’s top 50 on the season! No, not for outfielders. For all players! Seriously! For all hitters and pitchers. Digest that for a second. What are you swallowing? I was speaking metaphorically. What does this mean? Invest in players with home games in domestic swill parks. Rename PNC Park to Iron City Park and I want me some Jordy Mercer! Busch Stadium is the exception that proves the rule, whatever that means. This also means fantasy value is about filling out five categories. All your Miggys and Edwins are purdy, but you get a guy that hits 15 homers and steals bases, and you’re getting value. Yesterday, Domingo went 4-for-5, 3 runs, 2 RBIs with his 9th steal, as he hits .288 with 14 homers on the year. That’s how you get fantasy value. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?