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Diamondbacks OF Corbin Carroll was recalled shortly after my last article, Stash List Volume 6, Songs for the Jung in Summerwhich feels like a win for the new Collective Bargaining Agreement. The league tried to lead these snakes and birds to water, but it’s just snakes drinking at the moment. Makes sense I guess, for the birds to wait their turn, but snakes don’t strike upward real well. Bird should be able to dip in for a sip, if she’s quick about it. Baltimore is three games out of first wild-card spot, two games out of third, so they’re well within striking distance of any or all three of the teams in front of them. The Sig and Elias braintrust imported from Houston has worked wonders in Maryland. Hot-hitting outfielder Colton Cowser was promoted to Triple-A this week, so the coming storm continues to gather just outside AL-Eastern cities. I just think it makes sense to jump him straight to the majors. I realize Kyle Stowers is ahead of him in the time-served column on the pecking-order spreadsheets, but they could go to him if Cowser falters. I suppose they could just easily do the reverse and might be setting up exactly that. Every day matters for them, and I feel like Cowser is more likely to help a team win games right now than Stowers. I haven’t even mentioned Gunnar Henderson yet. He's reportedly joining the squad today, so they’ve got that going for them, which is nice. Baltimore could be fun to root for when they stop handling this stretch run in the most cynical way capitalistically possible. I realize this horse has been laying motionless between us for quite some time now, but you know who they could really use in that young lineup? A consistent, patient, veteran bat like Trey Mancini. 

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See all of today’s starting lineups

# MLB Starting Lineups For Fri 5/23
ARI | ATH | ATL | BAL | BOS | CHC | CHW | CIN | CLE | COL | DET | HOU | KC | LAA | LAD | MIA | MIL | MIN | NYM | NYY | PHI | PIT | SD | SEA | SF | STL | TB | TEX | TOR | WSH | OAK

Ah, the end of August. The dog days of summer. Beautiful sunsets, smoking barbecues, poolside beverages chilled to an icy goodness…everything is almost perfect…unless you are gearing up for BACK TO SCHOOL!

I’m sure that parents of those ‘super active’ kids are more than ready to send their little darlings back to their respective buildings of book learnin’, but there are also undoubtedly some that are sad to see the summer come to an end. Please, blog, may I have some more?

[brid autoplay="true" video="1083287" player="13959" title="2022%20Razzball%20Draft%20Kit%20for%20Fantasy%20Football%20Keepers%20%20Breakout%20Sleeper%20and%20Bust" duration="193" description="2022 Razzball Fantasy Football Draft Kit highlighting KeepersFave: Marquis Brown (:38)Flier: Kadarius Toney (1:22)Fade: Aaron Jones (2:15)" uploaddate="2022-08-25" thumbnailurl="https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/snapshot/1083287_th_1661449690.jpg" contentUrl="//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/1083287.mp4" width="480" height="270"] And thus the Gunnar Henderson Era begins, not with a whimper but with a cocking of a ballpoint pen, and the cursive of a signature by the 108-year-old Peter Angelos, signing the contract to bring Gunnar up to the majors. "Gunnar, bend down to hear what Mr. Angelos wants to tell you!" His agent yells to him. Gunnar obliges, and Peter Angelos just blehs like Dracula. It's a fantastic scene, and one Gunnar shouldn't soon forget. Gunnar won't be forgotten by fantasy baseball people either, i.e., Us! (Jordan Peele's second best film. Though, after Get Out, I think they're all tied, if we're being honest. Any hoo!) Gunnar Henderson is everything you want -- speed, power, contact. He's Bobby Witt Jr., but better. Call him Better Witt Jr. Actually, call Bobby Witt Jr., a poor man's Gunnar Henderson. Call him Slingshot Henderson. Itch had Corbin Carroll way above Gunnar Henderson in his top 25 prospects, and, honestly, I don't know why. You can ask him. Gunnar's not even particularly high on his top 10 Orioles prospects. Perhaps Itch was once bullied by a 23-year-old who was balding and looked like Cal Ripken Jr. Who's to say? I'm grabbing Gunnar in every league. With only a month left, he might do nothing, but Gunnar also might immediately click click boom. Anyway, here's what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

What’s poppin, Razzpimples? Bullpen update time!

Don’t forget, the Razzball Bullpen Chart is manned by yours truly and updated like every single second (not really, but I stay on top of thangs for the most part). And directly below are your Top 10 most valuable RP over the last week, courtesy of our super cool and filterable Last 7 Days pitching stats page you should be using all the time, as well as a current look at the Top 15 RP via our Player Rater. Please, blog, may I have some more?

[brid autoplay="true" video="1083287" player="13959" title="2022%20Razzball%20Draft%20Kit%20for%20Fantasy%20Football%20Keepers%20%20Breakout%20Sleeper%20and%20Bust" duration="193" description="2022 Razzball Fantasy Football Draft Kit highlighting KeepersFave: Marquis Brown (:38)Flier: Kadarius Toney (1:22)Fade: Aaron Jones (2:15)" uploaddate="2022-08-25" thumbnailurl="https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/snapshot/1083287_th_1661449690.jpg" contentUrl="//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/1083287.mp4" width="480" height="270"] First thing you do in Cincy? Eat some spaghetti with chili. Second thing you do, take a picture by the Harambe statue in front of the Cincy Zoo. Third thing you do, make a wager with Pete Rose's bookie. Fourth thing, tell people that like Johnny Bench used to hold seven baseballs in his hand, your daddy used to hold eight. Then, when asked, you show your father's picture, which is Jimmy Connors. Fifth thing you do, is go to Great American Park and hit some homers. Tyler O'Neill (2-for-4, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 11th and 12th homer) knows what's up; Albert Pujols (2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 15th homer) knows how to hit the special baseballs marked by Manfred "Easy Fly" as he marches towards 700; Corey Dickerson (3-for-5, 2 runs) hit his 5th homer as he stays about as hot as anyone; TJ Friedl (1-for-4 with his 3rd homer) goes bang-zoomie, and is challenging Corey Dickerson as one of the hottest schmotatoes in fantasy; Stuart Fairchild (2-for-4 with his 4th homer) has three homers in four games as he keeps pace with Dickerson and Friedl; Chuckie Robinson (1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer)...well, who the fu*kie is Chuckie Robinson? Is he What We Do In The Shadows's Colin Robinson's child that he had with that doll? So, Tyler O'Neill has been a real Richard Chamberlain in the side of his owners. Ya know, Chamberlain played a Thorn and O'Neill plays for the Cards, who are birds, so he's a Thorn Bird. Are y'all following or do you need more crumbs? Honestly, I think O'Neill's been hurt this year. This was supposed to be the year he cemented himself in the top 20 overall. Instead, he fit our fantasy teams for cement boots. His Launch Angle is down; his HardHit% is down; ground balls are up; listen, nothing's working. If he has been hurt, then 2023 Tyler O'Neill could be a nice bounce back candidate next year. His price will definitely be much cheaper -- "barely at all" is my guess. Can he bounce back? Absolutely. If the price for Tyler O'Neill in 2023 fantasy is where I think it might be, Tyler O'Neill is going to find himself on quite a few sleeper lists. For this year, I like him if he's hot, but I stopped holding my breath. *lowers head, barely audible* Because I'm wearing a snorkel! Anyway, here's what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
If you're anything like me, you're currently in grass-stained covered sweatpants trying to eek out an extra minute of summer before the kids go back to school. Or, apparently, for most of you southerners, your kids have been in school for like two weeks. Somewhere out there, there's SouthernwhereBlair who writes for RassBalls and discusses tight-pantsed pitchers. Or maybe that's just me projecting my best self. Thanks, therapy! ENYWHEY. Let's spend the next 1800 words discussing our favorite pitchers and why they make our pants tight.