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If you remember (no problems if you don’t, since I don’t remember at all… alcohol folks), last week, I went over the generic “this is April” schtick that many fantasy players love to hate. But it’s true! It is, in fact, April. But to other meaning, it’s still way too early to come away with any profound conclusions. True, a whole week has passed by, a whole week I tell ya! But I’m going to tell you the same thing… and that is the Phillies and Twins are still terrible. Honestly though, don’t throw away Gregory Polanco. Give Shin-soo Choo a chance! (Eh, maybe.) Try not to sell high on Joey Votto… (health is a big deal, whowuddathunk?) Again, I’m probably repeating myself, but just try and stay calm. It’s going to be okay. Unless you’re Mark Melancon. Then yeah… you’re toast. (Hopefully French toast. Because French Toast is Best Toast. Coincidentally, that’s my team’s name in the popular e-Sport of DotA 2. Because I only deal in facts. Also, my pocket protector says hello. We will also be playing in our first tournament starting on this Sunday, so wish us luck!) Anyhow, follow me after the jump to take a look back at what was week three AND a look forward on all things Razzball, including some player suggestions for next week, straight from Razzball’s Streamonator, Hitter-Tron, and DFSBot!

 

This Past Week…

At first, I thought prospector Mike was talking about Julio Franco as a prospect, and I felt young again. Then I realized that he was talking about Maikel Franco and felt old again. Then I realized that I was negative six months old when Julio Franco was last considered a prospect and that everything I just typed made no sense whatsoever. So basically like everything else I’ve ever wrote. (Mike also went over some catching prospects you might want to pay attention to, despite the dearth of talent.)

Our local creeper (I see why he lives in Los Angeles… one wants to be with like-minded people) J-FOH updated his Top-100 Hitters Rankings, so of course, JB Gilpin had to respond by updating his Top-100 Pitchers Rankings. Why don’t you two get a room already!

Did you listen to the latest RazzPod? It was a menage trois with Sky, Grey, JB Gilpin, and margarine and Shane Greene… or something like that. They also went over some thoughts on Kris Bryant, Danny Salazar, and Grey’s favorite misunderstood pitcher: Francisco Liriano. Gilpin also defended Grey’s accusation that he’d been shopping Madison Bumgarner everywhere. Harder to defend when I had an offer of Bumgarner for Votto in my email the next day…

RotoLance (not H2HLance or PointsLance) went over some SAGNOF candidates, ranking middle relievers, talking about Adam Ottavino (with Magoo chiming in on the subject as well) and then recommending Jake Marisnick, Angel Pagan, and Nori Aoki for the speed side. To back him up on the bullpen side, Smokey updated his Closer depth chart and went over some happenings, including Wade Davis being awesome and Joe Nathan being the opposite of awesome. Big Magoo also let us know what’s going on with Chris Archer. I just keep on hoping he actually becomes an archer. I love that low-hanging fruit people.

Our Master Standings were revealed by J-FOH for the Commentor Leagues. Buy this man a drink! (And then give it to Rudy instead for doing most of the hard work!)

Our evil Robot, Paul, is back at it again, this time taking advantage of Yahoo’s API to generate your leagues data in the way that makes Skynet blush.

Tehol went over his Disgraces and Delights of the week. I’m pretty sure Christian Slater, Domonic Brown, and something-something-sex joke streaks were all extended for a record-breaking 49th time.

Malamoney checks in with his Points Leagues series, and this week, he created some early rankings to gauge who is exactly where. I’m sure J-FOH and JB will be delighted. Seth went deep (like he always does!) with James Loney and Justin Smoak.

And, just in case you didn’t get the note, Grey wants you to buy Dexter Fowler. So go forth, do what you were born to do, and go buy Fowler. (Pretty lame reason you’re around, to be honest.)

 

Next Week…

The Streamonator has Mike Leake as your readily available pitcher pick-up of the week. We projected him going almost 7 innings, getting 6 K’s and just walking 2 against the Cubs, which places him 12th overall for the week.

The Hitter-Tron has Josh Reddick as your Leake equivalent, which sounds like a good crime-mystery thriller about having to pee. He’s projected as the 49th best hitter… but 1st overall when you consider his 40ish percentage owner rate.

And be sure to check in everyday for our Daily Fantasy content, led by Sky and company. They’ve been bringing you all the tips and strategy you need to win that cash-monies. Our DFSBot is also there to help guide your way to that aforementioned cash-monies. Mmmm, cash-monies.

 

 

Want more of the Jay? Don’t we all folks? Don’t. We. All. Well, you, in fact, can have more. AMAZING. I know. You can find Jay enjoying his dig’s over at the Football side of Razz.