Can you imagine such a surprise thing in the delivery room?  I can barely fathom the idea of fatherhood, let alone the extra money and work having two babies at one time can be.  Thankfully, this isn’t a stay at home dad blog so of course, the title don’t mean shizz in terms of giving birth to two bundles of expensive joy at once.  Nay, I’m talking about my favorite type of bundle of joy: cash.  The kind of cash you get when starting someone against the Twins.  Heck, you can look back just to my Friday post to see how I think of said Twinkies.  Synopsis: they trash and I look to take advantage of that knowledge as often as possible.  How do I plan to implement this info today, you ask?  By starting Jason Vargas.  Yes, I hate Minnesota that much…apologies to Prince #RIP.  Vargas showed decently in his last outing but really, this is a two fold call.  One, the Twins have been at or near the bottom all year in terms of offensive output and are currently streaking further down, dropping a wRC+ of 41 and a 31.3% K rate over their last 7 and a 62 and 27.9% over their last 14.  Basically, Dozier stopped hitting a HR every day so their offense went south.  Funny that.  Anyhoo, we now get to look at that Vargas price tag of $4,600 and get to ask ourselves a very simple question: can he score around 15 points against such a bad opponent?  Well if his 11.2 in Cleveland over just 4 innings in his last outing is any indication, the answer is yes.  Due to pitch count concerns and because, well, he IS Jason Vargas, I wouldn’t play him outside of tourneys tonight but he’s a great price reliever if you wanna pay up for an SP2 or for big bats.  So grab a couple of cigars and celebrate with me.  Here’s my spank to make you cry taeks for this Wednesday DK slate…

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Jake Arrieta, SP: $11,500 – Jake at this price a tourney play?  What a time to be alive.  The Cubs have locked up every best record in baseball and ain’t playing for much today.  But maybe Arrieta and his new found groove from last game needs to see that one last sharpening start?  Again, GPP only here as Arrieta is playing for nothing but fine tuning and pride.

Cole Hamels, SP: $10,700 – On the flip side of this coin of care we have Hamels.  The Rangers are still in the hunt for the best record in the AL and you can bet your sweet lumps that Cole wants to get them there.  Milwaukee and their K’ing ways makes Hamels a nice cash or GPP play today.

Jeff Samardzija, SP: $8,900 – In his last outing against the Padres, Shark went 7, K’d 9, and gave up zero earned on his way to 35.8 DK points.  Because of the price and the matchup of Rockies on the road, Shark is likely gonna be hyped as an SP2 or maybe even an SP1 in cash.  I’m open to him in all formats, which means he’s about to drop 6 ER in 2 IP.  It’s Murphy’s law, I think.

Michael Fulmer, SP: $8,600 – If you follow me on here, you know I like the idea of a bounce back start against a team that trounced you the last time out.  It was my main reason for liking Hamels last week so it’s my reason for liking Fulmer this week.  When Fulmer last hung with the Tribe, they dropped 6 runs on him over 5 innings.  Let’s see that line change to 6 innings with 5 K and a win and go home happy in either GPP or cash formats.

Jose De Leon, SP: $8,500 – If you’re having a hard time finding reasonably priced pitching today, you need to re-evaluate how you view your DK dollars, and maybe account for inflation.  I don’t think Jose is safe enough for cash, but against the Padres as a righty, I’m willing to give this a whirl in tourneys today.

Francisco Liriano, SP: $8,400 – Because he’s Liriano, I don’t trust him in cash – like ever – but I do trust the season stats on the Orioles: they can be exposed by a good lefty.  But will Liriano be a good lefty tonight, we ask?  No seriously, I just asked by shaking my magic eight ball; it said ‘answer cloudy, come back later’.  And you thought we came up with that type of analysis on our own.  HA!

Yadier Molina, C: $3,300 – Yeah, I can’t believe I’m doing this either but with Desclafani rolling bad of late and the Cardinals pushing for the playoffs, I can’t ignore the idea of a Cards stack tonight.  Gimme Stephen Piscotty, Randal Grichuk, Matt Carpenter, and Jhonny Peralta.

Joey Votto, 1B: $5,600 – On fire and priced out of this world…sounds like DK is trying to tempt us again.  No matter, it worked!  A lefty against Mike Leake is like taking candy from a baby.  I was gonna go with ‘taking a handy from a bae, b’, but I wanna keep that one for a better time.  Forget I ever said it!

Jose Abreu, 1B: $3,800 – With so few games to go, I’ll take the ‘L’ on my late August call that Abreu would end the year with 30 bombs.  That said, it doesn’t mean he isn’t still raking and I’m sticking around to try and ride this hot streak out when the right price presents itself and guess what?  It went and got presented.

Rougned Odor, 2B: $3,700 – What’s that smell?  Ah yes, it’s the Odor at this price.  It’s enchanting!  He has 31 HRs and gets a flyball pitcher in Chase Anderson.  *OK emoji*.

Carlos Sanchez, 2B: $3,000 – Much like I like my pizza, Carlos is hot and cheap.  Hopefully Sanchez gives you the kind of runs that help in baseball and not the kind I get from said pizza, however.

Joey Wendle, 2B: $2,600 – Yes I keep mentioning this kid.  No, it’s not because he’s good.  It’s because he’s a good price.  If you want to hear something good about Mr. Wendle, tune in here.

Nick Castellanos, 3B: $3,600 – As he’s just coming off the DL and sat yesterday, you’ll want to keep your eyes peeled to see if he’s in.  I don’t know what it is, but it seems like every guy who comes off the DL goes off for a bit.  Well, he’s got a few more days to do it.  While we’re here, let’s see the expensive Tigers stack in play.  Ian Kinsler, J.D. Martinez, Miguel Cabrera, and Justin Upton.

Didi Gregorius, SS: $3,700 – It feels funny writing that Didi has 19 HRs, but that’s because I’m still in 2015 power numbers where we only had 19 players with 30 HRs.  This year we have 33 with four players stuck on 29.  Further perspective?  Ok, how about 19 HRs putting you 56th in the league last year and this year you’re 89th.  Now you understand why I keep talking about it.  Oh and Didi is gonna move up to 20 today.  Book it, don’t @ me.

J.J. Hardy, SS: $2,700 – I said Liriano was a tourney play, I didn’t say Hardy against a lefty was a bad play, especially at Rogers Center.  Nothing sexy here, but it could be with one good swing.  Hardy will likely be my SS de jour for tourneys today.

Josh Reddick, OF: $4,300 – Josh struggled hard on his initial move to the NL but after a 36 point DK night on Monday, I think he’s getting this whole thing down.  If you wanna roll a Dodgers stack out, I can’t hate on ya.  Gimme Yasmani Grandal, Corey Seager, Justin Turner, and Joc Pederson.

Hunter Renfroe, OF: $2,300 – Two HRs in his first four career MLB games?  Excellent!  At this price?  Out of this world!  And the fact he makes me think of Brad Renfro?  Eh, very odd bonus for giving me an arcane reference, but I like it.

I’m Only Happy When It Rains

There are some weather worries on the horizon today, kids.  If you’re looking at the WASvsAZ game, well, maybe don’t.  Looks to be thunderstorms throughout the night.  Keep your peepers peeled for a PPD here.  Meanwhile there’s some potential for bad things in the NYYvsBOS tilt as well as DETvsCLE.  Stay woke until lock, folks.

Doing Lines In Vegas

The big dog on this slate goes to Hamels as his Rangers as they hold a strong -215 line over the Brewers in a 9 o/u game.  Remember that Texas stack I mentioned?  You don’t?  Well that’s because I didn’t mention it until seeing this line.  The run total on this game has went from 9.5 to 9, so there could be some things going down here, both literally and figuratively, so I don’t know how many chips I wanna push in on it.  The other heavies on the day go to Shark and his Giants at -185 over the Rockies and -180 to Gio Gonzalez and his Nats as they face the Dbacks.  If you’re looking for runs, we’ve got 4 games sitting at 9; our aforementioned TEXvsMIL tilt as well as DETvsCLE, TORvsBAL, and ATLvsPHI.  All three of the latter – if that works and even makes sense – have seen a half run added to their initial total so I’d expect for these things to be known and, well, now you know.