If Bernie Madoff never ripped off investors to the tune of eighteen billion dollars, the world would be a different place. The US wouldn’t be exporting trillions of golfers’ plaid pants from Boca Raton, Florida to Scotland to be used as kilts. Mazerati dealers in Long Island, Beverly Hills and Palm Beach wouldn’t be sweating their child’s $50,000 nursery school tuition. Nannies in Connecticut would have time to watch daytime talk shows rather than putting bottles of rare wines on eBay. But one of the biggest hits taken by Madoff was the Mets owner, Fred Wilpon. Ever wonder why Bobby Bonilla is still getting a million dollars a year from the Mets in a Swiss bank account made out to the name “Bobby Barramundi?” Madoff ran the Mets’ finances. I bring this up because if Madoff were still at the wheel, the Mets would probably send Mr. Met to the proper specialist for his gigantism and they would’ve called up Zack Wheeler already. Money’s the issue for both. Super 2 cutoff is a funky thing to figure, but to the best of my abilities, I’ve ascertained Wheeler can be called up May 15th or June 4th. A month ago, Terry Collins was already asking for Wheeler to be called up to replace Hefner. If the Mets keep him down past the first week of June, it’s because Wheeler is injured or because the Mets are saying to their fans, “We don’t care, and Terry Collins can suck a big fat one.” Why do you care for fantasy baseball purposes — or porpoises if dolphins are reading? Because Wheeler could be nearly as good as Harvey. His control in the minor leagues is slightly worse than Harvey’s was, but his Ks are just as purdy. Here’s what Scott, our prospect writer, said, “Wheeler had a phenomenal 2012, posting impressive numbers between Double- and Triple-A: 3.26 ERA, 1.17 WHIP, 8.9 K/9. The 22-year-old features a plus fastball that sits in the mid-90s, and he counters with plus-plus curve, a slider, and a change — the latter two are both nice offerings. It’s a deep repertoire for a pitcher of his age, but Wheeler commands it well and baffles hitters with his sequencing, unlike Grey who baffles people with his sequins shirts.” Huh? I don’t wear sequins shirts (anymore). In most mixed leagues, now is the time to start stashing Wheeler, he’s gonna be a great one. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?Yonder Alonso
Roy Halladay makes every hitter look like Babe Ruth right after he burped. (Burping was the key to his success; I watched a documentary.) Roy’s gotta hit the Disgraceful List, doesn’t he? I mean, it’s in everyone’s best interest at this point. Watching him is like seeing Carol Channing before someone told her to use a mirror to apply makeup. “How’d I get this lipstick on my ears? Maybe a dab of mascara on the ol’ chin!” You should’ve heard me saying that line like Carol Channing in my head. It’s just real sloppy out there right now for Roy. If he’s not hurt, his fantasy owners may find him in a dark alley and change that. If he is hurt, stop taking one for the team, you gamer you. “I’m a gamer. I grind like I’m old school, Jodeci, going riding roughshod over fantasy ratios…Horatio…Alger, in reverse.” That’s Roy doing beat poetry. At this point, I’d bench him against most teams until he starts piecing together something less craptastic. You might, unfortunately, have the reincarnation of 2012 Lincecum. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?Yost would tell you that Holland is still the closer, but Kelvin Herrera should be the closer in KC. No, there’s no official closer change, but it’s obvious. You really only had to watch the last two games for confirmation, and Malcolm Gladwell would tell you to Blink. In his last game, Holland took the save to the very brink. Herrera had opposing hitters’ bats in the clink. In my daily diet, I eat mutton, it’s high in zinc. I call my therapist, Saran, and this is my shrink…rap! Sorry, I just mentally transported back to my days of Bum wine and roses when I thought I was black and I’d start freestyling. Every teenager who thinks they’re cool right now, so did I and now I’m a fantasy baseball blogger. Muahahahahaha… So, what I began saying was Yost can say whatever he wants on the Royals closer situation, but Herrera is the better pitcher right now, and he could be a Donkeycorn by the middle of May. I would continue to hold Holland, but Kelvin should be owned, as well. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?
You read the title right. In fact, we went over the first five in Part I right here. Are you ready for the last five, plus a bonus uno mas section? The answer is yes, by the way. So… I guess I might have some splainin’ to do at the end of the year, but I’m proud to throw out the wildest, aka BOLDEST predictions out there. Trust me, these will all be two-drink minimum statements I’ll be laying down. But we ain’t calling this bold because I have a grudge against italics. And I’m not just spouting crazy for crazy’s sake… which I know, brace yourselves, is much different than you’re used to. I’m also going to be sharing evidence to support my claims. And everyone does 10-list’s, so I’m going to be one better, cause that’s how I roll. Right down that hill over there. Hey, you want to steal 10 VCR’s? Here I am, pushing you out of the way to steal 11. Before I ask you why we’re stealing a dead media format, I’m quickly running, cause those be sirens I hear. So, you’re going to eat 10 of those Cool Ranch Doritos Loco Taco’s? Well then, challenge accepted. Actually, wait, no. I take that back. You’ve found something I don’t want 10 of, much less 11. Anyhow, let us continue with the six-spot.
Please, blog, may I have some more?If you missed it, we went over Overvalued players in last week’s Deep Impact post.
This week, we’ll be going over guys I think are either going too low in drafts, or have some sort of stigma that’s keeping their cost low – undervalued in their current state. Remember, it doesn’t mean they are the elite bombz. Like I said last week, the most important aspect in advanced leagues is value. That’s what our goal is here. And depending where you are in your league, these summaries can either help you find some sleepers in an inaugural draft, or, if you are already some x amount of years in, you can look to these guys as good trade targets.
Now, without further ado…
Please, blog, may I have some more?This top 20 1st basemen for 2013 fantasy baseball goes to about forty-two. Every time I thought I was out, I looked at another 1st baseman that pulled me back in. Unlike any other position, there’s a few guys that can give you some huge numbers, then there’s about 25 players that can give you roughly the same stats. Unlike years past, I’m not going to tell you to either draft a top 1st baseman or insist you remove my name from your Trapper Keeper. We can still be BFFs without the drafting of Pujols, Fielder or Votto. For the first time in a while, any of the top 20 1st basemen (that’s the actual top 20 1st basemen not the 42 or so that are on this list; shizz gets a little wonky further along the list). The first basemen position is going through a serious transition. Right now, vets like Howard, Konerko and Te(i)x could still be valuable, but they have some major question marks. Then there’s guys like Trumbo, Davis or even Hosmer that have a different set of concerns. By next year, I have a feeling we’ll see that the next class of 1st basemen move up while the vets continue to fade. But, for now, it’s not clear. As always, for each player there’s my projections and where I see tiers starting and ending. There’s the position eligibility chart for 2013 fantasy baseball, and all the 2013 fantasy baseball rankings are under that linkie-ma-whosie. Anyway, here’s the top 20 1st basemen for 2013 fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?For our last Buy/Sell of the season, I’m reminded of all that the past Buys have given this year. I got introspective, y’all. I thought about how a 2-for-4 on Monday put a Buy on my radar, then by Thursday he was either back to waivers or 10 for his last 14 and I wanted him on all my teams.
Please, blog, may I have some more?The .245 AVG is going to look ugly next March but 31 HRs and 80+ R/RBI has been nirvana for anyone (like Rudy) who plucked Josh Reddick off free agency in shallow leagues this year. The power is real and, unlike the last A’s power hitter (Jack Cust), he is an above average fielder. So the A’s now have 2/3 of a phallic OF foundation with Reddick and Yoenis. Where is Lance Johnson Jr or Dick Pole Jr when you need them?
Please, blog, may I have some more?This lede is a little different than past weeks. This lede is about winning your damn league. This is about fantasy baseball streamers. When the Stream-o-Nator heard I was doing this post, it had this to say, ”It’s been an honor to help you in your leagues this year.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Yesterday, Pablo Sandoval hit two homers, and his third in two days to bring his season total to 11. The other day when Alberto Callaspo hit his 10th homer, I went into our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater to see who had been more valuable this year, Alberto Callaspo or Pablo Sandoval.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
