by: Grey
Imagine you’re in a deli waiting for a pastrami on rye. Not just any pastrami on rye, but the best pastrami on rye. Like all delis, you have to take a number. So, you pull a number and it’s number two. Not bad! You only have to wait one person! You can do that! So, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
So, here’s where I give you the grain of salt. The White Sux suck. Their team name is White Sux. No worse sucking than a team named Sux. The heart of their lineup is Mendick/Sheets, which is as exciting as the Orthodox Jewish sex image it elicits. Their team batting average is .189! They are […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Ton of injuries yesterday, huh? You ever go to your waiver wire page in each league and type in the injured player’s name to see who has the injured player? Then when I see someone else has the player I say, “Ooh, too bad,” sarcastically, and when I have the player I say it sincerely. […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
This past preseason I went to Japan, which is close enough to Korea, so I am an expert on Korean Baseball Organization’s import Erick Fedde (6 IP, 1 ER, 3 hits, zero walks, 11 Ks, ERA at 2.73.) Do I know for sure the O in KBO stands for Organization? No, it could stand for […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
I want to talk about Bryce Elder, but first I have to ask is Taylor Swift’s new album an ode to Casey Anthony? I’ve watched the Investigation Discovery true crime documentaries too, Swifties! What is going on here with this track list? I demand answers! [gets dragged away in straitjacket] I will not be silenced! […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Some pitchers have a “Hitters can’t get comfortable against them” quality. Whether it’s fear that they’re going to get hit because of the pitcher’s lack of control or if it’s the movement on the stuff, it’s a quality that I don’t think any stats measure well. Lack of command + Nastiness = Uneasy. The only […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
On the podcast the other day, I compared Jordan Westburg to Bo Bichette, and BDon stopped the podcast, called his job and told them he needed two years off to organize a music festival called, “Grey’s Finally Admitted About Overrating Bo-Chella.” At Bo-Chella, as it will be known colloquially, the headliners will be Jordan Westburg, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Jack Leiter (3 2/3 IP, 7 ER) made his debut yesterday, and his stuff looks primo nasty with a side of broccolini cause homeboy is green. Jack Leiter also looks like he can’t control anything. Just chucking the ball five inches off the plate for the entire outing. Wonder if his father Al doesn’t like […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Ya know how they used to say a complete game under 100 pitches was a Maddux? Well, kids, the only way a pitcher is ever throwing a complete game again is if it’s under 100 pitches. A complete game equals Maddux. There’s no non-Maddux complete games anymore. Right? I’m not being coy. Can’t imagine any […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Dodgers called up Andy Pages (1-for-4, 1 run) But, for all you Anglo em-effers, it’s Pagés. As in, “I shot an elephant in my Pagés.” “How did the elephant get in your Pagés?” As in, check out my pee-jays — [walks out in feety pajamas that are all pink and have a bunny tail] If […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Yesterday, Jonatan Clase (1-for-4, 1 RBI) was called up by the M’s with Canzone hitting the IL. Jonatan’s name cracks me up. Imaging the nurse filling out the birth certificate, “Jonathan with an H?” “Honatan? No. What are we, stupid?” So, Jonatan has lightning-fast speed. He just ran into your room, moved your inkwell and […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Wanna quote myself for my biggest mention of Colton Cowser (1-for-3 and his 4th homer, hitting .441) this past preseason. I drafted a 15-team mixed league team in November, and took as my 5th outfielder, Colton Cowser
Please, blog, may I have some more?