There will be many people screaming that Jo Adell is no longer a rookie, and to those people I say, “Stop screaming, I think you’re right,” but by my own admission in my Sixto Sanchez fantasy, I explained I was going by old rookie eligibility rules, because the new ones for just this season were confusing as all get-out. For our purposes, Jo Adell had 130 or less at-bats, so welcome to the resistance (to actual rookie eligibility). And, if porpoises are reading, I want to go on record as saying I never enjoyed Sea World. They’re popcorn was always stale. Never the hoo! Jo Adell, or as I like to call him, last year’s Randy Arozarena. Can y’all remember back to last year when we were like Jo Adell or Mike Trout, which do you prefer? And half of us were like, “Hee-haw! I want Jo Adell!” That aged like a fine cheddar that is stored between your toes. Adell’s season was not, how do I say, good. He went 9/3/7/.161 in 124 ABs. Glad he got those growing pains out of the way, huh? This reminds me of what a wise man named Grey Albright once said, “These prospects, huh?” Ah, no truer words have been said. It is pretty funny how we think we know what we’re getting, yet no one knows anything. Funny, funny stuff. So, what can we expect from Jo Adell in 2021 fantasy baseball?
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It’s the 20th episode of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Not News with Grey Albright, Donkey Teeth and world renowned comedian Billy Hurley. First, Grey gives an update about his role as pedophile on an episode of NCIS and the codpiece cookies he made for Chris O’Donnell.
Then we dive in on this week’s stories with a Billy reporting from under a rock about a website offering a chance to live under a rock during election week—excuse me while I book my accommodations. Speaking of the election, an Iowa man who stole an election sign then stole every newspaper that reported his original theft. Then find out all about the boy who’s eaten noting but sausage his entire life; straight from teat to the sausage.
Tune in now for all the laughs and Albright cackles you can handle by signing up for the exclusive Razzball Patreon Club for only $5/month!
Please, blog, may I have some more?
MacKenzie Gore, 2021 Fantasy Outlook
October 26, 2020 | Fantasy Baseball Rookies | 37 Commentsby: Grey
Patiently awaiting the Triston McKenzie / MacKenzie Gore matchup to watch it on my couch with my cardboard cutout of Mackenzie Phillips while Mack the Knife plays, wearing my Mack truck overalls. How was I built? Like a Mack Truck, baby — chugga-chugga-choo-choo. On the reals, it took me forty-five minutes to write the previous sentences because some people’s names have a capped K; some don’t; some have Mac; some have Mc, and this is worse than Zach/Zack/Zak/Zac. Stop the train and let me off. I need a mnemonic, Johnny! One of the more disappointing elements of 2020 — like, roughly, the 12,576th most disappointing thing — was that MacKenzie Gore didn’t get a call-up. He’s ready, Dads, let’s go! Not to mention, I think the Padres could’ve used him. Weird move to go get Mike Clevinger, when they likely would’ve been better with Gore. That’s a big market move done by a small market team — a small market team that’s worth like $1.8 billion, but anyway.
Please, blog, may I have some more?I love most things about playing fantasy baseball leagues, but I especially love the push/pull of short versus long-term outcomes. I play a lot of dynasty, keeper and redraft leagues of various shapes and sizes, so the range of values I might place on a prospect in a given league is wide.
Not here, though, where I’ll be going full cut-throat, win-the-money redraft style.
I don’t know why anyone will be cutting throats. I love that phrase, but yikes, what a thing to say in casual conversation, huh?
This list won’t turn out to be 100 percent accurate, but it will reflect many hours of trade talks, gameplay, research, roller coasters and centrifuges of thought, educated guesswork, and dash of the psychology motivating humans working within a nihilistic capitalist structure.
- Note: I wasn’t sure how to handle innings caps. Every pitcher got dinged a little for the purposes of this list because some/most organizations will be very conservative pushing pitchers from 30-something (or zero) innings up above 100 (or more). Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ian Anderson, 2021 Fantasy Outlook
October 23, 2020 | Fantasy Baseball Rookies | 52 Commentsby: Grey
One thing I’m noticing in the bigger picture sorta way is there’s gonna be more pitchers in this fantasy baseball rookies series this year than other years. The nature of the season made it more conducive for rookies to be called up, and rookie pitchers had no way of exceeding eligibility requirements. On a side but related note, this year made it abundantly clear that teams only keep prospects down in the minors because of phony money concerns. I mean, the concerns are phony, not that their money is phony. It’s real, and absurd. Not to become Willy Woke, but if a guy is worth $5 billion dollars; he can afford to promote a prospect and lose control of him a year early. On another side but related note, how many teams in the playoffs would’ve not been in the playoffs or there with a totally different looking rotation? It’s hard to imagine the Braves getting to the playoffs with the rotation of Max Fried, Kyle Wright and Ian Anderson. That’s not to say I don’t like them (to varying degrees). But if, say, the Braves called up Ian Anderson in May, his arm would’ve been so taxed by the playoffs, or just shut down. It’s interesting (to me, at least) to think of what a guy like Ian Anderson would’ve been in a 162-game season. Him especially, because he could’ve been up in May, and pitched 150 IP. I have an idea! Let’s actually figure out what he can do in a full season! Bravo, Grey, an ingenious plan! So, what can we expect from Ian Anderson for 2021 fantasy baseball?
Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Robbie Ray Retrospective
October 22, 2020 | Pitcher Profiles, Pitcher Rankings | 13 Commentsby: everywhereblair
“I released it, he’s swinging, and as he’s making contact, I’m like, “Oh boy, this is gonna hit me, and so I turn… and it hit me, and it actually ricocheted off my head…my ears were ringing, so loud that it was hurting my eyes.
“When I hit the ground, I just went straight for my hat, and ripped my hat off, and I was bleeding. From the time I hit the ground, it was really…kinda crazy. I just had this, like, amazing peace about me. It was like God was saying ‘Hey, you’re OK.’ It’s like, ‘I got you.'”
Robbie Ray, Interview with YMI, published March 12, 2019
I love most things about playing fantasy baseball leagues, but I especially love the push/pull of short versus long-term outcomes. I play a lot of dynasty, keeper and redraft leagues of various shapes and sizes, so the range of values I might place on a prospect in a given league is wide.
Not here, though, where I’ll be going full cut-throat, win-the-money redraft style.
- Note: Nobody will be cutting actual throats. I love that phrase, but yikes, what a thing to say in casual conversation, huh?
This list won’t turn out to be 100 percent accurate, but it will reflect many hours of trade talks, gameplay, research, roller coasters and centrifuges of thought, educated guesswork, and dash of the psychology motivating humans working within a nihilistic capitalist structure.
- Note: I wasn’t sure how to handle innings caps. Every pitcher got dinged a little for the purposes of this list because some/most organizations will be very conservative pushing pitchers from 30-something (or zero) innings up above 100 (or more).
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Sixto Sanchez, 2021 Fantasy Outlook
October 20, 2020 | Fantasy Baseball Rookies | 26 Commentsby: Grey
How do we know 2021 is going to be like no season ever after the season we just lived through and by ‘season’ I mean two months of games? Where do we begin? How about: Sixto Sanchez has 39 IP thrown in the major leagues (regular season), is a contender for the NL Rookie of the Year award and still eligible for that award in 2021. Is that right? Am I losing my mind or is that the case? By the way, I’m not being facetious. “Losing my mind” is definitely a possibility. *does some light research for five hours that covers everything from rookie eligibility for 2021 to whatever happened to Shannon Whirry* So, Sixto Sanchez does appear to be a rookie still (and Randy Arozarena, for that matter, which is hilarious too). Why does this matter? Because that’s how I decide on which players to write up in the 2021 rookies for fantasy baseball. Well, like everything else with Major League Baseball, they’ve made it impentratable for fans. Instead of saying you can’t win the ROY award twice, they said, “…” Well, do you really want to know? You know MLB makes everything impossible to understand, right? Okay, fine, but I warned you. Any players who accrued more than 45 days on an active roster during the 2020 season or previous seasons prior to September 1st will no longer be considered a rookie. MLB wants me to check player’s call-up dates and count calendar days? Haha, yeah, okay, you’re dumb. That ain’t happening. Also, by the way, Sixto Sanchez is still eligible for the ROY award in both 2020 and 2021, if he doesn’t win it this year. Not joking. So, MLB may be stupid, but I’m going over rookies for this series with old eligibility requirements — 130 ABs or 50 IP in the majors. That is a long way to tell you a clerical situation. Any hoo! Sixto Sanchez! Yes! Each year I open the rookie series with the rookie who I think will be the most highly ranked rookie in the upcoming year. For 2021, that feels more difficult to pinpoint than previous years. I did think about other guys for the coveted first rookie spot in 2021, and, as mentioned in my Randy Arozarena fantasy, I’m split on him and Sixto, as the top 2021 rookie. Today, I’m going Sixto Mode! *does robot, gets stuck bent over, screams for Cougs to oil my joints* (By the way, I couldn’t find any up-to-date information on Shannon Whirry, hope she’s well!) So, what can we expect from Sixto Sanchez for 2021 fantasy baseball?
Please, blog, may I have some more?Razzball Patreon members receive our weekly podcast where Grey cackles about the funniest news stories we’ve found over the past week, plus you get that warm fuzzy feeling of supporting your favorite fantasy sports site in all the land.
Billy Hurley returns triumphantly from his comedy show on the park hill and Grey has a tub of Boba from his new favorite tea establishment for this week’s episode of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Not News. But first Grey divulges a super secret TV show which will be recorded in his home this week.
Then we dive into the earth shattering news story about the man who was charged with ASSault after farting in an Uber. No, seriously, the gassenger is facing 6 months jail time for his stinky crime.
And after several sightings of a man in a jet pack 3,000 feet in the air over LAX, questions arise regarding Grey’s recent whereabouts. Also, a Florida father sends his son to school wearing a Hooters mask. Or Hooters underwear on his face, hard to tell.
Tune in now for all the laughs and Albright cackles you can handle by signing up for the exclusive Razzball Patreon Club for only $5/month!
Please, blog, may I have some more?
A Franchise First – Why the Rays Will Win the 2020 World Series
October 19, 2020 | 2020 Fantasy Baseball | 5 Commentsby: Sam Shefrin
We’re nearing a date beloved by baseball fans around the world. The first pitch of the Fall Classic is but a few days away. Baseball in 2020 was classic in many ways. Due to an invisible enemy, the season was delayed and play was adjusted as never before in the storied history of America’s Pastime.
But, we’re one game away from deciding who the final two teams standing will be. One team already punched their 2020 World Series ticket by winning another of baseball’s historic seven-game classics. The Tampa Bay Rays meet the Los Angeles Dodgers, the winner of the National League’s version of a winner-take-all final seventh game. Both teams get their chance at winning “The Series” in a strange season.
It will matter not to whichever team wins the upcoming best-of-seven that 2020 will have an asterisk beside it. Spring training became “summer training”, and 162 got whittled down to 60. Nevertheless, baseball lovers are still ready to be served another best-of-seven Fall Classic.
We had a hunch way back when this strange season started that one team would prove to be a formidable contender. The Rays have done all the things we thought they would be good at to fill spot number one in the 2020 World Series.
Please, blog, may I have some more? Randy Arozarena, 2021 Fantasy Outlook
October 19, 2020 | Fantasy Baseball Rookies | 111 Commentsby: Grey
Black and white footage plays as the crowd at Yankee Stadium watches on. There’s not a dry eye in the place. Some newsies hang off the foul pole; elsewhere, grown men, dressed in military fatigues, weep. Babe Ruth adjusts the microphone for Randy Arozarena and motions for him to approach. Randy leans into the microphone, and quivering, “Today, I consider myself the Randiest man alive.” Sorry! I didn’t hear you come in. I was just directing this editing crew to recut the Lou Gehrig retirement speech. Don’t worry, it’s being done in a very respectful way. As you can imagine, it’s going to be hard for Randy Arozarena to play in 2021 after being inducted into the Hall of Fame after this postseason. Has that ever happened before? The prior-to-retirement induction? Did you just say “your stove?” That’s induction, but different meaning. Yes, words can have more than one meaning. Are you dumb in the head? So, here’s a peek behind the giant curtains at Razzball, I lower my Bro strap and say to Prospect Itch, “Give me your top rookie for 2021 fantasy baseball.” And he says, “No, you give me yours,” and I say, “What? You’re the prospect guy. I wasn’t being coy, I was just scratching under my Bro strap.” Then he told me Randy Arozarena, and I laughed for ten minutes, which coincided with Randy Arozarena hitting multiple homers in the playoffs and….Dot dot dot…Holy crap, is Randy Arozarena the top rookie going into 2021 fantasy baseball? I’m between him and Sixto Sanchez. This is the 1st year in maybe ever I’m not 100% positive on one rookie as the number one rookie. Last year was obviously Luis Robert, the year before was Vlad Jr. or the year before–You get the picture! Every year there’s a clearcut #1 rookie going into the upcoming season, but I’ve wrestled with this, and I don’t know if there is one in 2021. Wander Franco would be that guy, if I had any faith the Rays would ever promote him early enough for redraft leagues. Ergo/Therego: Welcome to the 2021 rookie series and Randy Arozarena! So, what can we expect from Randy Arozarena for 2021 fantasy baseball?
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Top 10 Washington Nationals Prospects for 2021 Fantasy Baseball
October 18, 2020 | Fantasy Baseball Prospects | 10 Commentsby: The Itch
Hangovers get the best of everyone from time to time. Age is not your friend when throwing back one too many. The same could likely be said of World Series hangovers, which can bite even young teams but are especially exhausting for pitching staffs built around aging aces. Stephen Strasburg threw all of five innings in 2020 after signing a contract for $245 million across seven years. I’m still a few Scrubs episodes from finishing my medical degree, but Carpal Tunnel Neuritis in the right wrist sounds like an awful diagnosis for a 32-year-old right handed pitcher. Stras underwent surgery in late August and could be ready to go in Spring, but it’s looking like the team should’ve chosen Anthony Rendon over Strasburg rather than offering each the same deal and rolling with whoever signed first, if that widespread reporting was accurate.
Whatever the future holds–and it doesn’t look bright in these minors today–2019 was worth it. Perhaps characterizing their 2020 as a hangover is a bridge too far, especially in a year when most of us wake up wishing we could sleep it off, but it’s an easy leap to make given the strength of will and perseverance it took to vanquish the OP-cheat-code Astros. Thanks, Washington! And it’s not all bad by any means. If their last couple first-round picks pan out, we could see Soto and the boys back in the big games very soon.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
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