If you’re one of those people who follows the plethora of sports that Razzball covers, you would have seen my RazzBowl Guidebook on the football side this past fall. In that series, I studied the reams of data produced by the NFC to understand how roster composition and draft strategy would help my fantasy sports results. So I did some homework, used Rudy’s rankings, and had a little bit of luck. The results? I finished the 2020 Fantasy Football year as the champion of the DataForce Charity League, where I defeated 12 of the best and brightest minds on the fantasy football circuit. I wrote about that experience in this article detailing how to win an industry fantasy football league. Now, let’s do the same for the RazzSlam, and hopefully we can get you — yes, you! — your first win in an industry fantasy baseball tournament.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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See all of today’s starting lineups

# MLB Starting Lineups For Mon 8/4
ARI | ATL | BAL | BOS | CHC | CIN | CLE | COL | HOU | KC | LAA | LAD | MIA | MIL | MIN | NYM | NYY | PHI | PIT | SD | SF | STL | TB | TEX | TOR | ATH | CHW | DET | OAK | SEA | WSH

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ANNOUNCEMENT!!

Ten (10) Razzball Patreon members will randomly be selected to compete against Grey, Rudy and a slew all the biggest names in the fantasy baseball industry in this years RazzSlam. Note your Patreon membership at the bottom of your RazzSlam Signup Form.

Now, without further ado, it’s your favorite hour of the week! I Can’t Believe It’s Not Not News is back again with all the Billy Hurley jokes and Grey Albright cackles you can handle. First we discuss crocodile surgery and a gender reveal gone terribly wrong. Then we get the scoop on a dog who inherited 5 million dollars and a man charge with placing dead animals on his neighbor’s gravestone.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Our 2021 Razzball leagues are in signup mode. Robot in Signup Mode, “I am entering contest to win Razzball t-shirt even though I’ve never seen a robot wear a shirt. Starting….” The Robot begins to peter out, “…New…Fad.” Oh no, the Razzball Robot has died! *screaming to heavens* What hath you forsaken me?! Heavens, “Focus on ESPN’s 2021 fantasy baseball rankings, you moron.” Wow, the heavens do not take well to histrionics. So, this year’s ESPN rankings are a tad goofier than I remember them, but maybe I just got smarter — Smarterened? Smartered? Became the smarts? Meh, I don’t know. What I do know is ESPN has Trevor Bauer ranked 12th overall, and that made me laugh for a very long time. At one point, I coughed, and I thought I was coming down with the plague, but quickly recovered to laugh some more. Never knew ESPN was so climate-conscious, but they must be because they’re good recycling garbage. Maybe it’s bravery in the face of contradictory evidence. Maybe it’s dumb. Maybe it’s nuts. Hopefully not Mitch Haniger’s, they’ve been through enough. Any hoo! I’m clutchin’ my pearls like a Barbara Bush hologram and about to take out some ‘perts! *slowly, menacingly sharpens index finger for more incisive typing* I’m about to cut up somebody with words! Now let’s open a window and defenestrate ESPN’s 2021 fantasy baseball rankings. To the tune of U2’s Sunday Bloody Sunday, I call this So Bloody Stupid:

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When doing bi-monthly rankings, I asked myself while freezing in the dark with no electricity because I live in a state that can’t handle the cold, “Jakkers, how do I do bi-monthly rankings when there are no games going on, not even fake games? Heck, spring training just started!” Now, because I was right there in the room when I asked this question, I immediately responded to this outstanding query. I told myself, “Well, let’s take a closer look at some of the players ranked two weeks ago.” I have to say, that is a brilliant answer. How do I know it’s brilliant? Because I asked it and I answered it, and I am brilliant. OK, in my world I am brilliant. Those around me probably have some other adjectives they’d likely use to describe me. Brilliant may not be one of them.

However, before we delve more into a few players, let me get my bias out in the open. Shocking, I know, but my rankings have a bias. I run two dynasty fantasy leagues. The leagues in which I participate but don’t run are, for the most part, dynasty leagues. Because of my preference for dynasty leagues, I prefer younger players with upside over players who have plateaued or are on the downside of their careers. Did this bias affect the rankings first posted two weeks ago? Yes. I ranked Willi Castro higher than Chris Taylor or Marcus Semien. I rank Bo Bichette fifth because he is only 23 as of Opening Day and has huge amounts of upside and he has three years on Corey Seager.

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Things get a little weirder here, by which I mean the difference between the 75th prospect and the 150th prospect largely comes down to timelines and tastes.

I don’t have some big introductory explanation here. I trust you grasp the premise and intend to skip this paragraph, but if I still have your eyes for the moment, I’ll say I imagine a start-up build for a 15-team, 2-catcher dynasty league when parsing through the lists and try to explain when a player’s value varies based on settings. If you’re in a contention window, your rankings should look a bit different than they’d look on the front end of a rebuild. I’ll flag some players along the way for whom the disparity in value can get especially large from build to build.

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Catcher is a unique position in the fantasy game.  We sometimes play with a single catcher making the pool reasonably deeper while other times strapping ourselves with limited options in two catcher leagues.  The one thing the position is not known for is augmenting the lineup with flexibility.  A few years ago, the versatility and intrigue of speed from the catcher position drew us to Austin Barnes as he rose through the Dodger’s system.  While that may not have panned out with a fantasy superstar, when any player comes along in that mold it forces us to look at what else the catcher position can provide.

The last two seasons have introduced us to two unique players behind (and around) the dish in Austin Nola and Isiah Kiner-Falefa.  Looking at Yahoo eligibility Nola will enter the season with C, 1B and 2B capabilities while Kiner-Falefa will carry C, 3B and SS.  Now not all leagues are as forgiving as Yahoo and Isiah did not log a game at catcher in 2020 instead splitting time on the left side of the infield where he is expected to be for the 2021 season.  Alternatively, Nola saw 44 of 46 games played behind the dish.  Regardless of how they fall in your league, there is bound to be intrigue in these two versatile players.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Howdy-do, Razzballers.

The snow wasn’t exactly as apocalyptic as initially feared, but we did get quite a bit for what we’re used to down here in the Dirty Souf. Needless to say, as we’re half-drowning in snow, Spring Training is starting up in other parts of the country. Games kick off Feb. 28. Pretty much all free agents worth a damn are signed by now, so this will be my last “The Saturday Morning Post” (in name only), as I’ll be transitioning to covering the weekly “Ambulance Chasers” column, which will drop at the same time next week. All injuries I deem to have fantasy impact will be covered, with as-in-depth-as-possible hot takes on who shall benefit from said injuries. Spring Training is fun and all, but someone always does something stupid and screws over fantasy owners before games even begin for real.

Anyhoodles, for the last time this offseason, here are the sexiest nomads of the last week:

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With Justin Turner resigning with the Dodgers almost a week ago, the many rumors and possibilities of departure were confirmed to be moot. While there were intriguing destinations to be had, with rumors especially focused on Milwaukee (it’s pronounced “mill-e-wah-que” which is Algonquin for “the good land”), the little part of me that cared really wasn’t in doubt. Los Angeles is a big fan of Turner, and the feeling was always mutual, and with the Dodgers, he’s been an overall boon considering the long and interesting path to lineup anchor. Hitting .292/.369/.469 with the Dodgers overall and producing a good but unspectacular COVID showing hitting .307/.400/.460 in 42 games on their way to a championship, there are several ripple effects from this resigning that while expected, still should be analyzed and contextualized. Kinda like how I make love.

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I was sitting at my computer and ready to write a beautiful ballad about Sixto Sanchez called “Sixto More the Richer,” when I came across a tweet from Ryan Bloomfield of BaseballHQ that changed my day forever.
The Bloom Board y’all. Everybody’s favorite board since the Ouija Board. Similar to how Ouija Boards allow you to talk to the dead, I heard this Bloom Board audibly say “Write an article on these ADP fallers.” Should I be creeped out? Am I experiencing psychosis? The answer to both is “possibly” but I think even a scared, psychotic person is capable of writing a decent fantasy baseball article. Let’s look into my crystal ball and see whether a few of these discounted players are going to return value on their ADP this season.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Been a while since I gave you a roundup of news, so guess what? Here’s a roundup of news, or in the case of Josh Jung, a guy who I added to the rankings. First off, what Prospect Itch said previously, “The best Texas prospect since Gallo, Josh Jung brings full-field power, plate discipline, and a plus hit tool along with functional defense at the hot corner. I’m trying to acquire him in my 20-team OBP league and suggest anyone seeking potentially affordable third base help consider the same in their leagues. Speaking of affordable, anyone know a reasonably priced hitman to take out Grey?” Okay, that’s not cool. Hold on one second, are you telling me the Rangers have a decent prospect? I call BS. I thought the Rangers gave up after finally figuring out how to spell Saltalamacchia. Oh, I know, this is the Rangers just trying to sneak Michael Young back out at 3rd base, and spelling his name differently. Jung, you’re nothing but a Freud! Podcaster Ralph told me the other day, he thinks Jung is a 25-homer, 3-steal, .280 hitter. Not sure how much time Jung sees this year, but the draft season is still Jung! Sorry, hashtag never again. I added Josh Jung into my top 20 3rd basemen for 2021 fantasy baseball with the projections: 21/6/25/.272/1 in 170 ABs, but obviously those could go up if he breaks camp. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2021 fantasy baseball:

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188 is a composite number with six divisors. It is also featured in the name of a main belt asteroid called “188 Menippe.” If you’re like me, you just pronounced that in your head as “many pee pee.” 150 is composite as well, and is in fact the sum of eight consecutive prime numbers ranging from seven to 31. It also represents the number of times per year in which my car’s warranty unexpectedly expires (or so I’m told). But I know you probably don’t care too much about Menippe, or my car’s warranty, and instead you’re wondering what the significance is of these two numbers. Well, to date, Cardinals third base prospect Nolan Gorman has played 188 career games in professional baseball. 150 have come above Rookie ball. That’s less than a full MLB season. For a power-first, left-handed bat drafted out of high school, that’s too small of a sample size to properly deduce what caliber of player Gorman is going to become. For a player of his prototype, it is reasonable to expect a steeper learning curve at every Minor League level along the way. Everyone needs to learn to adjust as a young player in the farm, but for a prospect with 60-grade power and no history of experiencing prolonged failure as a hitter in his life until reaching Single-A, that game of adjustments will be far bumpier. As a result, today we’re going to take an in-depth look under the hood and throw our TSA shirts on — and I’ll let you know if Gorman is a player to pack for your journey through dynasty dominance.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s happening: you got your quarantine haircut, got a couple of doses of Moderna in your arm, you’ve put on the spray tan, and are still double masking. You’re ready to emerge into the world! 2021, here you come! And to go along with the “New Year, New You!” mentality, you’re finally — finally! — going to cross that last item off your bucket list: Join a fantasy baseball league. Maybe you’ve played fantasy football or basketball before, and you are just nervous about committing to a new sport. Maybe you’re a daily player on Draft Kings or Fanduel, but you’re nervous to commit to a 162-game season. Maybe you just like having three hypotheticals before making a decision. In any case, you’re in the right place! Let’s get you ready to play fantasy baseball.

Please, blog, may I have some more?