Jonathan Broxton is out with elbow pain. Andre Ethier is out with an inflammed elbow. Since Casey Blake has a staph infection in his elbow, him, Broxton and Ethier must’ve rubbed elbows. It’s an idiomatic joke! Dodgers Fever. Take some penicillin! If this elbow thing was being passed around the Dodger clubhouse any quicker….Alyssa Milano […]
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Rhymes With Emotion, Sighs For Beckon Space
May 3, 2011 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 381 Commentsby: Grey
Let’s all give Scott Sizemore a big “Welcome back.” Well… Let’s give him a medium-sized “Welcome back…” Screw it! Let’s give him a quick “Hey” and a head nod like you give to your sister’s boyfriend that you can’t stand. It’s not like he’s done all that much in his short time in the majors, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Already thin 3rd base position just got a lot thinner with Pablo Sandoval breaking his hamate bone. When Sandoval first heard the bad news, he pulled a half-eaten ham bone out of his pocket and asked if the doctor could insert it in the injured bone’s place. He couldn’t. Sandoval now knows how Rikki Lake […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?At least that’s the creed that Francona and Epstein keep repeating to themselves as they sit in the fetal position on opposite corners of the clubhouse shower. Carl Crawford seems like a nice guy. Something about the name Carl. So innocuous. “Hey, sis, what’s your new boyfriend’s name? Carl? I’m gonna like him on Facebook.” […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Ben Zobrist had a pretty good day yesterday. A double slam and legs and 10 RBIs. Zobrist’s wife, an aspiring singer of Christian pop music, wrote a song about Zobrist’s day called, “The Day The Lord Shined His Lovelight On Ben.” Its B-side is “Here’s The Church, Here’s The Steeple, God’s Fifth Outfielder Is Jason […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Waiter, There Is A Fly Ball Rate In My Soup
April 28, 2011 | fantasy baseball strategy | 224 Commentsby: Grey
BABIP is Batting Average on Balls In Play. And they sometimes lie, even if Shakira sang, BABIPs Don’t Lie. BABIP is a quick way to know how much luck a hitter is having. There’s more to it, but for the purposes of this, a high BABIP for a hitter and it means the hitter could […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Justin Smoak has back-to-back days with home runs and back-to-back-to-back games with a home run. Say that fast 117 times! Where there’s Smoak, there’s fire! See what I did there?! Did you see?! Yeah, of course you did, it was pretty obvious. Smoak seems to be the hot schmotato of the moment. (Hot schmotato hasn’t […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Closer Casting In LA – Watch Out Kyra Sedgwick!
April 27, 2011 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 354 Commentsby: Grey
Jonathan Broxton blew his first save because of an error and he’s out as closer. Hmph. The Dodgers’ GM Colletti said the Dodgers would turn to Padilla and Broxton with Kuo joining the mix when he returns at the end of the week. Hmph. Hmph. Mattingly then said last I checked Colletti doesn’t have a […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Let’s quote the Random Preseason Commenter, “You don’t have Matt Thornton in your top 20 closers? Hey, Grey, how does it feel to suck at life? Oh, and while you’re sucking, blow me. Thank you.” This isn’t to point out I knew Thornton would be terrible, but to say again how fickle closers are. He […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? The Niña, the Pinta and the Santos Panacea
April 26, 2011 | Fantasy Baseball Notes | 158 Commentsby: Grey
Ozzie said that Sergio Santos would be the closer vs. righties. That means Santos is just the closer closer. Or as close to it as we’re gonna get. I don’t know how much I believe this. Just the other day Ozzie said the White Sox had the best bullpen in the American League. And he […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Here at Razzball we don’t believe in vetoing a fantasy baseball trade, but we do fully support passive-aggressive, sarcastic belittling. If someone in your league completed a trade that makes you wish they’d walk into oncoming traffic, you’re in luck! Here’s a Mad Libs-type tirade to post in your league’s messageboard because when met […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Sorry Sir, Don’t Like Lance A Lot
April 22, 2011 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 369 Commentsby: Grey
The man who looks like the man from Man Vs. Food’s father, Lance Berkman, is on a ginormous Kaiser roll. Speaking of pastry, it’s not a coincidence that Lance Berkman’s initials are LB. When he got to St. Louis, he asked the cabbie where the second arch is and why isn’t it painted gold. […]
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