The Excellent Mr. Burns and the Top 100 Hitters, Week 9

May 31, 2015 | Creeper of the Week, Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 208 Comments

All right, you ragtag bunch of misfits! You hate me, and I hate you even more. But without my beloved ringers, you're all I've got. So I want you to remember some inspiring words that someone else might have told you over the course of your lives, and go out there and win!

Has a greater speech ever been uttered to fire up a bunch of ball players? It's pure honesty at it's finest. Group hate as a tool of motivation, then followed with some Zen-ish words or whatever kind of "Phil Jackson blah-blah-blah to get your head right" words. Hey, look, a basketball reference Gilpin! If we can remove ourself from the moment and transport ourselves to that happy place, then we can trick ourselves. Thank you Montgomery Burns for this gem and this great song. If this doesn't work for you, then just think of boobs and how many you get to see if you're successful. That's in life, not fantasy baseball. In fantasy baseball, you get the adoration of random men over the internet. Wait, what? Ummmm... I officially just made this weird. Hey, look, there's a creeper below me and a top-100 for you to chew on below that. *Runs away from computer.*

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See all of today’s starting lineups

#	MLB Starting Lineups For Sun 5/11
	ARI \| ATL \| BAL \| BOS \| CHC \| CHW \| CIN \| CLE \| COL \| DET \| HOU \| KC \| LAA \| LAD \| MIA \| MIL \| MIN \| NYM \| NYY \| PHI \| PIT \| SD \| SEA \| SF \| STL \| TB \| TEX \| TOR \| WSH \| ATH \| OAK

DraftKings – Well It Can’t Be Worse Than Last Week’s

May 31, 2015 | DraftKings | 12 Comments

by: Geoff

I'd like to start off by apologizing. Seriously I'm sorry. The whole ordeal was awful. I came on here waxed poetic about Carlos "F*$?#!G" Frias and what does he do? He goes out and proceeds to Main Street Grand Salami's, hangs 10 earned, and scores negative 19 points on DraftKings. I repeat NEGATIVE NINETEEN POINTS! That has to go down as the single worst piece of advice ever printed on Razzball. Needless to say Frias is on my donzo list. So if you decide to avoid any players I suggest this week I can't say I blame you. For everyone else still left, there's a lesson in my failure. Cheap pitching on DraftKings is risky. Some days you boom and find the gem of the contests other times you get Friased. I'm not sure the stink of that choice will ever truly wash away. Nevertheless I'm dusting myself off and stepping back up to the plate with a whole new list of DraftKings plays. Hey they can't be any worse than last week's. Right?!? New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 20 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Minor Accomplishments: A Dahl Pain

May 31, 2015 | Fantasy Baseball Prospects | 155 Comments

by: Mike

David Dahl's 2015 season is already over after lacerating his spleen in a nasty collision. Fun fact time. Back in the day, when humans were even dumber than they are now, folks thought that the spleen produced a kind of black bile that was related to melancholy. Their descendants can now be found trolling blogs across the interwebs with a brand new arsenal of misinformation. Dahl ranked numero uno on my Rockies Top 10 Fantasy Prospects list this offseason and #12 on my Top 50 Fantasy Prospects, so this is a major injury to a very good player. Missed time is starting to pile up, as Dahl had already missed a large part of his 2013 season with a torn hammy. The 21-year-old also suffered a concussion in this week's collision. Just talking about this makes me all melancholic. I blame my spleen. Here's what else is happening around the minor leagues...

Two Start Pitchers, Week 9: The Nintendo Post

May 30, 2015 | Two Start Fantasy Starters | 92 Comments

by: Geoff

Travel back in time with me if you will, to a place where fanny packs, male ponytails, and Jordache jeans were all the rage. A time when Bruce Jenner was a symbol of masculinity, and O.J. Simpson was America's favorite star! Travel with me to the age of Nintendo, a time when video games had two buttons and you didn't need a degree in molecular biology to play. That last sentence made me sound very old, oh well. Anyway the theme of this week's two start pitchers soiree is Nintendo! No not Super Nintendo (which was awesome BTW, #GoldenEye4life) or Wii, just plan old "blow on the console" to clean it NES. If you were anything like me then you played your fair share of Zelda, Super Mario, Duck Hunt, Tecmo Bowl, Mike Tyson's Punch-Out, RBI Baseball, Double Dribble, Blades Of Steel, the list goes on and on. [Jay's Note: Where's Excite Bike and Battle Toads?] Aww the good old days when video games had easily exploitable glitches, like throwing to the outside of the plate with Nolan Ryan. Or pressing the Duck Hunt gun against the screen because that damn pooch kept laughing at you. Don't look at me swan! Anyway, this week we have one of the deeper rosters of two-start pitchers in recent memory, and arguably the four best arms in the game double dipping. Not to worry if you don't own one of the four horsemen there's plenty of other great options in week number 9. So get up off of that thang and take a gander at this week's two start madness.

The Hambone Cometh, the NyQuil Taketh

May 30, 2015 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 107 Comments

by: LT Murray IV

Greetings! Surprise, tis not Grey the Elder God, nor Dan Pants, but I, Tehol Beddict, wordsmith and fantasy baseball extraordinaire. Some of you may have been wondering where my Game of Thrones post was this week (okay, maybe, like, two of you), but truth be told, I was in the type of NyQuil induced coma that would make Anna Nicole Smith (RIP Bae) jealous. (And if you'd like to hear me in my NyQuil induced coma while talking about Game of Thrones, be sure to check out the newest Fantasy Football podcast.) Say one thing for Tehol Beddict, he loves NyQuil. You see, when I'm sick, I despise doing anything, so I just skip the DayQuil and just stay home and take the night-time stuff, dozing off every few hours, awaiting the end of the torture that is the common cold. During these moments of sedation, I've realized some interesting side effects from NyQuil that I believe could change an entire industry. And what industry is that you ask? The porn industry of course! That tasty green liquid makes it extremely difficult to orgasm and also thickens the Au jus, making for the ultimate money shot! The only problem I foresee with introducing this into the adult entertainment world is that, being that it makes one so tired, how can one bring the energy forth to really slam it home? An IV with sugar free Red Bull perhaps? Either way, I think I've found something… Wait, am I supposed to be writing about baseball? [Jay's Note: One can only hope...] Ahhh, yes. Speaking of drugs, [player]Josh Hamilton[/player] is BACK! Back with the team with which he rose to fame. Back to dropping double-dongage on the opposition as if they were Paula Abdul on a Tuesday night in autumn (do-do ya love me!?). I was high on Hamilton (no pun intended, MAYBE) before the season began, but now that he's back in Texas, where he's comfortable, I couldn't be higher… unless I took a double dose of NyQuil. NEVER DO THAT! I'm sure Hambone was immediately swooped in leagues he wasn't previously owned after yesterday's two-bomb performance, but needless to say, if he's there, go head and make that happen friends. Anyway, here's what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball, TAKE HEED!

DraftKings: Wacha Fine Line

May 30, 2015 | DraftKings | 6 Comments

by: Bigfoot Paul

Today's starting pitching options leaves a lot to be desired in your DraftKings entry knowing that you have to two starters. However, one of my favorite young pitchers is starting, Michael Wacha. The obvious choice for your first pitcher is Tyson Ross, as he is pitching at home in Petco Park. When it comes to my second pitcher, I see Wacha is 7-0 with a 1.87 ERA and 1.04 WHIP on the season. His overall numbers look great except for his K/9 rate. It is an unimpressive 5.46, and even makes me wince when I see pitchers like Shane Greene at 5.80. The Dodgers will be his best opponent today, so when considering one of my young favorites in DFS, I'll need to dig a little deeper and look at the less obvious statistics. In his last two starts he's faced the Royals and Mets, both on the road. The Royals are a good hitting team, and the Mets were a good hitting team that has cooled off a bit. In those two games, Wacha allowed 9 hits in 54 plate appearances. He only allowed 2 earned runs in 14 innings pitched, and batters hit .180 against him. Wacha had a meager 9 strikeouts and allowed 4 walks in that span. This is a small sample size of course, but I like to look how pitchers have recently done when facing an upcoming juggernaut. But the main reason I am sold on Wacha as a good choice on DraftKings today is his career home/away splits. He is considerably a better pitcher at home in St. Louis. In 22 games started, he is 9-1 with a 2.31 ERA, a 1.00 WHIP in 120 innings pitched. He has a 3.43 K/BB rate, and a 7.70 K/9 rate. I dug through a few more uncommon stats, and found that Wacha has never faced the Dodgers before. I gotta Wacha fine line at that point and rely on the above mentioned. So although there are starting pitchers that are priced similarly as Wacha, I'll go with the guy who has only lost once in 22 career home starts, and is facing a team he's never pitched against. Take a look at some of my other DraftKings' picks today. New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 25 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

This Week in Razz…, Week 8

May 30, 2015 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 42 Comments

by: Jay

In what was another fantastic week (bias much?) here at Razzball, we passed what is commonly known as the unofficial "first day of summer". As I mentioned last week, Memorial Day should be the mental marker to start analyzing your team, maybe even to begin to seek out what you need and what that might cost you. That could mean finding possible trade partners, weighing free agency additions, or even doing nothing. All that matters is that you take the time to assess your situation and problem solve it. You should still be in the middle of this process, Rome wasn't build in a day after all, but with Memorial Day in the rear-view, the "dog days of summer" are on the quickly approaching horizon. (The metaphors in this whole lede is just so next level.) Take that into account, as players will start getting "nagging" injuries, hot starts will soon start to regress, pitchers will start to get aches and pains... you'll need to be on top of your game even more for these next crucial months. Follow me after the jump to take a look back at what was week four AND a look forward on all things Razzball, including some player suggestions for next week, straight from Razzball’s Streamonator, Hitter-Tron, and DFSBot!

Excuse Me, Kyle Hendricks A Buy

May 29, 2015 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 683 Comments

by: Grey

I'm taking questions after my Ted Talks on fantasy baseball. I adjust my headset mic, pull on my turtleneck. Going Steve Jobs today wasn't the best of ideas. This turtleneck is itchy. "You, in the front row." "First off, the stuff you said blew my mind. I never knew electromagnetism had anything to do with fantasy baseball. Your square root stuff seemed like it came from a supercomputer. But a supercomputer with a mustache. And older supercomputers fawning over it. Supercomputer Cougars, if you will. So, my question for you is who does Kyle Hendricks remind you of?" "Alex Wood. Next question, you." The Sun-Maid Raisin Box Girl stands up, "Do you know I'm a Cougar?" *shoots up in bed, dripping in sweat* Whoa, I just had the weirdest dream. Left Side of My Brain, "Or was that reality?!" AH!!! So, Hendricks pitched a gem the other day. His 2nd gem in a row, and I took a long hard look at him, then didn't mention him the other day because I wanted to highlight him here. I agree with Dream Grey, he does look like Alex Wood. Only Alex Wood when he's on point. Right now, Hendricks has a 7 K-rate, 1.9 BB/9 and a 3.77 xFIP. Wood throws a curve more, but their velocities are very close on the fastball, too. Both have 50%+ ground ball rates, which makes them prone to BABIP. Hendricks is not a potential ace, but he should be owned in far more leagues and looks like a solid fantasy #3 with #2 upside based on luck. Now, if you'll excuse me, I want to get back to sleep and see the Sun-Maid Raisin Box Girl. Anyway, here's some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Deep Impact: ExPresTON of Interest

May 29, 2015 | Deep Leagues | 21 Comments

by: Dave

[player]Preston Tucker[/player] is up and the no longer LAstros have shown the confidence to not only start him, but bat him third a few times already this year, so I decided to break down this guy and see if he can keep sticking himself in that luscious three hole. When looking at Tucker's mechanics, I noticed something that relates to a perennial fantasy enigma, so if you stick around, you’ll get more than you bargained for in this post...

Points Leagues: The Fresh Prince of Mad Max

May 29, 2015 | Points Leagues | 28 Comments

by: malamoney

Through the first few weeks of the season it seemed as if [player]Prince Fielder[/player] was gearing up for another disappointing season. While last year was the result of an injury, it was disappointing nonetheless. Maybe he should have never left Milwaukee. You know, on the playground where he spent most of his days. Although Detroit wasn't bad to him either. Those who doubted Fielder are now likely doubting themselves. Those that drafted him are now patting themselves on the back. In the past 14 days, no hitter has more fantasy points than Prince who has collected 72 points, including 6 home runs, 19 RBIs and 0 stolen bases. However I am predicting at least one stolen base before the season concludes and I believe that will be one more than [player]Billy Butler[/player]'s season total. Fielder is on pace for 35 home runs, 133 RBIs and a "jazzy" 577 points. 133 RBIs would be a single season high for Prince. Even though he looks more like Uncle Phil, The Fresh Prince Fielder is back!

DraftKings: The Declaration of Coors Dependence

May 29, 2015 | DraftKings |

by: Colin Heaton

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the baseball bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the Coors Field, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Baseball entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of DraftKings players requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation. We hold these truths to be self evident: that all ballparks aren't created equal, that the Rockies away from Coors Field struggle offensively, and that left handed pitching dominates the very lineups set forth by Walt Weiss himself. Have yourself a day Cole Hamels. New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 25 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Eduardo Sawxerhands

May 29, 2015 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 560 Comments

by: Grey

One rookie's story comes to life... From the director of The Nightmare Before Christmas and Big Fish. The vets on the pitching staff have outcast him for not meeting their quality standards. Theatergoer leaving the theater, impressed, "Tim Bahton shades the whole fahkin movie in blues and grey. You can't see fahkin sh*t." Eduardo Sawxerhands is a gentle man with an uncommon fastball. "I'm fahkin tellin' yah I couldn't see anything. Fahk nuts, this Burton character." Watch as Eduardo Sawxerhands throws the ball past unsuspecting hitters and ignites a fan base that talked about Jackie Bradley Jr. like he was Honus Wagner. So, obviously Eduardo Rodriguez's start was terrific -- 7 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks. I thought it might be when I suggested you stream him. I also think he can continue to be terrific. I would be shocked if he was sent back down, and if sent back down, he's not staying there long. The Red Sox can remove any of their other starters for him. What makes him extra special, he possesses solid control. Lumps come for rookies, but good control should ease them. I'd grab him in any league where you're struggling for upside. Anyway, here's what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball: