Fantasy Baseball Advice

After the top 20 outfielders for 2010 fantasy baseball, guess what we have here?  The top 40 outfielders for 2010 fantasy baseball.  That’s right, Wonderful just gave birth to Awesome.  Wanna hear something even awesomier?  I’m going to turn this to 60 then 80.  Hopefully I don’t blow my amp.  The hardest part about writing these 2010 fantasy baseball rankings posts is writing this opening.  Trying to make the clerical stuff sound less clerical, ya know?  Actually, when I point it out, it gets more clerical.  As with other rankings, where I see tiers beginning and ending are mentioned along with my projections.  Anyway, here’s the top 40 outfielders for 2010 fantasy baseball:

20. Shin-Soo Choo – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Span.  I call this tier, “Speed threats with weak power.”  As mentioned aforely, this entire tier could be above the “Power threats with weak speed” tier that ended the top 20 outfielders post.  Depends on how you’re building a team.  Okay, now on Choo.  I love that when I search a baseball site for Choo I find Choo Freeman listed first.  Choo Freeman’s getting some Jennie-O turkey for that one.  The non-Freeman, Choo had a bit of a ridunkiculous BABIP.  Don’t know what that’s all about.  The fellas over at Fangraphs hinted that Choo’s choo-choosing where the ball is going with telekinesis.  Nice, when they do a Broadway adaptation of Zapped, Choo can play the Baio role.  Assuming Choo keeps placing line drives between fielders with nothing more than a constipated-looking stare, he should maintain his average.  2010 Projections:  90/18/100/.285/20

21. Bobby Abreu – There’s a few guarantees in life, death, taxes and Bobby Abreu hitting 15 homers.  Yet, he’s a tapestry of different numbers as far as how many steals he’s going to get.  If you had a three-sided coin that had the number twenty, twenty-five and thirty each on a different side then flipped it in the air… Well, I don’t know how a three-sided coin would even land so I got lost in my own example.  2010 Projections:  95/15/100/.300/20

22. Shane Victorino – The Crapolanco trade to the Phillies doesn’t help Victorino’s value as far as Runs, but he’s solid in other categories.  Plus, we can always hope for an injury to the usually durable Crapolanco.  2010 Projections:  75/12/85/.290/30

23. Ben Zobrist – Zobrist’s projections are in the top 20 2nd basemen for 2010 fantasy baseball post.

24. Denard Span – His caught stealings last year are a little disconcerting (10 times in 33 attempts), but I think he can potentially sneak in 12 homers.  2010 Projections:  100/10/70/.300/22

25. Alfonso Soriano – This is a new tier.  This is a two person tier.  This doode and Rios.  I call this tier, “Reclamation projects.” Obviously last year Soriano sucked on the suckhole for the better part of the year.  Maybe his Latin 34 is finally catching up to him.  Wouldn’t surprise me to see him nose dive in 2010.  He only hit 13 homers last year against clubs not named the Astros.  His speed is not what it once was.  I don’t think arthroscopic knee surgery’s going to be the answer to that.  Wow, I’m really selling this bounce back, huh?  The reality of The Situation™ is that there’s question marks with all of these guys.  Soriano can still hit 25+ homers and steal 10+ bags.  2010 Projections:  70/25/85/.270/12

26. Alex Rios – Prepare for another lukewarm sales pitch.  Rios’s BABIP last year was almost fifty points off his career average.  So, say he hit .280 last year with the Runs and RBIs that comes with those extra hits.  Now imagine he still hit the 17 homers and stole the 24 bases.  Still  disappointing, but less so.  Almost convincing, huh?  2010 Projections:  85/19/70/.275/22

27. Carlos Lee – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here to McLouth.  I call this tier, “This is your father’s fantasy baseball outfield.”  This tier is compromised of the oldies but goodies or, perhaps more aptly, oldies and were goodies that may or may not be that goodie anymore.  In 2007, Lee hit 32 homers; in 2008, he hit 28, then last year he put up 26 homers.  Um, bad trend.  If he can reverse that, oh goodie!  2010 Projections:  65/27/100/.300/5

28. Manny Ramirez – Outside of an insane 2nd half in 2008, Manny really hasn’t been that good in a while.  Name value is making him seem like more than Cuddyer.  2010 Projections:  85/28/100/.300

29. Torii Hunter – Double I is like an Elizabeth Vargas stalker… Always near 20/20.  Thank you, Jay Leno!  2010 Projections:  75/23/85/.275/17

30. Carlos Beltran – Was a real battle trying to rank Beltran.  I really need to hear more news on his knee and see how he’s progressing.  This is tentatively where I’d start to look at him.  2010 Projections:  70/20/80/.280/12

31. Raul Ibanez – If it wasn’t for his home park playing like a wiffle ball stadium, I would’ve dropped him further because of his 2nd half.  Since I think my buck-fifty frame could hit 25 homers in Citizen’s Bank, I’m willing to give Ibanez the benefit of the doubt.  2010 Projections:  85/27/100/.270/3

32. Johnny Damon – He’s like the Brian Roberts of the outfield.  Homers go up, steals go down.  Steals go up, homers go down.  Put it together, Damon, your time is running out.  2010 Projections:  100/20/75/.290/15

33. Nate McLouth – Torii minus fifteen points on average or CarGo with no upside.  It’s okay, but if you have an erection for longer than ten minutes after drafting McLouth, you should seek immediate medical attention.  2010 Projections:  95/20/75/.260/20

34. Hunter Pence -This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here to Reimold.  I call this tier, “I wanted to rank all of these guys higher.”  I.e., I like the guys in this tier.  They’re not slam dunks, but to varying degrees I’m very excited about them.  Do I want an outfield of, say, Pence, Bruce and Reimold?  No, not at all.  That’s too much of a good thing.  That good thing being upside. re: Pence; he’s going to be the magical 27 years old in 2010 when baseball players don a green hat similar to one seen in Leprechaun: In The Hood and their power reaches its peak.  A big season is in store.  2010 Projections:  85/30/100/.295/15

35. Andrew McCutchen – Yes, in the tier of guys I’m gunning for is an Astro, a Pirate, a Red and an Oriole.  Ugh, this means I’m gonna have to watch these teams during the season.  Alas, we’ll save that setback for the season.  Check it, some of the things you just can’t figure.  Why is Victorino ranked above The Dread Pirate when their projections are near-identical?  Because, for three years in a row, Victorino has already done what The Dread Pirate could do.  McCutchen is the brand new model, the 2010 Victorino.  2010 Projections:  90/15/60/.280/30

36. Jay Bruce -  As Master Gee would say, “Well, it’s on on on on on on on on.”   Went over my Jay Bruce fantasy already.  I like, friend.  I’m practically daffy for him.  Do I like him as much as Bill James who projected him for 38 homers and 10 steals?  Only Bruce’s Mom loves him that much.  2010 Projections:  80/30/95/.270/7

37. Carlos Gonzalez – He’ll probably only give you McLouth numbers, so please keep expectations in check.  Okay, enough of that.  He’s going to be awesome!!!!! (Extra exclamation marks were texted in by my twelve year old niece.)  2010 Projections:  85/18/70/.275/20

38. Nolan Reimold – Has 10 steal speed, 25 homer power, should hit around .290… Holy crap, Markakis is a Russian nesting doll and inside him is Reimold!  (For further reading on my Reimold fantasy.)  2010 Projections:  85/25/95/.290/10

39. Garrett Jones -  Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2010 fantasy baseball post.  2010 Projections:  65/25/80/.255/12

40. Michael Bourn – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Pierre.  I call this tier, “SAGNOF!”  As for Bourn, see tier name.  2010 Projections:  100/4/40/.270/55

There will be a top 60 outfielder post, but here’s four names on the top 40 outfielders for 2010 fantasy baseball that I need to point out because you can’t just end a SAGNOF tier without these guys:

40 1/5. Nyjer Morgan – See Bourn, Michael or 1/3 of an inch above.  2010 Projections:  105/4/45/.300/45

40 2/5. Rajai Davis – Too many speed schmohawks and not enough space.  2010 Projections:  80/4/40/.290/50

40 3/5. Julio Borbon – Portmanteau’ing Bourn, Morgan, Rajai, Borbon and Pierre and you get Mijerio Pierogies.  The one Hispanic man in all of Poland.  (Further reading on the Borbon fantasy.)  2010 Projections:  90/8/40/.300/40

40 4/5. Juan Pierre – He’s not French, but he can make love to your face with his steals.  2010 Projections:  95/1/40/.300/45

Gone over the catchers, 1st basemen, 2nd basemen, shortstops and 3rd basemen.  Guess what’s next!  The title might have gave it away.  With the top 20 outfielders a pattern emerges.  Steroids can be tested for, but Red Bull can’t.  It was the summer of speed and somewhere Ron LeFlore smiles.  Since outfield is a deep position, I think I’m going to turn this one to 40.  Those will be here on Thursday.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 outfielders for 2009 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:

1. Carl Crawford – For four years, Crawford was featured prominently in the top of the preseason rankings for outfielders, and, in 2009, he finally fulfilled that promise by ranking first overall at the end of the season.  Wouldn’t you know it, last year was not one of those top preseason ranking years.  After an abysmal 2008, Crawford’s stock did a Triple Lindy coming into 2009.  Then he exploded for 21 steals in May and he looked like he might surpass Lou Brock’s career total by August.  Unfortunately, he slowed down in the 2nd half.  Let’s hope it wasn’t his knee shouting expletives at the artificial turf.  Preseason Rank #10, 2009 Projections:  85/15/80/.300/45, Final Numbers:  96/15/68/.305/60

2. Jacoby Ellsbury – Hamilton-Burrishly, Ellsbury and Crawford dueled during the regular season to see who would steal more bases, Ellsbury won the battle, but Crawford the war.  On a sidenote, not such a great sign that the top two outfielders gave a majority of value with the steal.  Where’s the 40 homer outfielders?  There were none.  Not even Adam Dunn.  That’s something that will need to be addressed in its own post during the offseason.  Seems like something for December Grey.  Preseason Rank #16, 2009 Projections:  110/10/60/.285/40, Final Numbers:  94/8/60/.301/70

3. Ryan Braun – I said this the other day when talking about Evan Longoria, but it applies here, as well.  Braun may not have been a disappointment per se, but eff “per se” in its Frenchy-sounding goolie.  I wanted 40 homers from Braun!  Preseason Rank #2, 2009 Projections:  100/40/110/.280/15, Final Numbers:  113/32/114/.320/20

4. Matt Kemp – Here’s what I said last January, “I not only bought into the Matt Kemp hype, I rolled it up in decorative sugar and began to sell it at a local bake sale.  You want someone in the fourth round in 2009 that could be a first or second rounder in 2010?  Matt Kemp’s your man, man.  He’s the future, kids.”  And that’s me quoting me!  And me was right.  Next year, I’m taking Kemp in the 1st round and I’m going to like it.  Preseason Rank #11, 2009 Projections:  95/24/80/.295/30, Final Numbers:  97/26/101/.297/34

5. Ichiro Suzuki – The average is great, the steals are okay, the homers are bleh.  Another Ichiro year.  Preseason Rank #12, 2009 Projections:  110/7/50/.315/35, Final Numbers:  88/11/46/.352/26

6. Matt Holliday – Did it help his RBIs to bat behind Pujols?  Probably.  Maybe a few more homers than if he stayed with the A’s?  Yup, but as you see from my preseason projections he was pretty much in line with what I thought he’d do.  He was scorching hot when he went from the A’s to the Cards.  I believe that he would’ve been hot in the 2nd half no matter where he played.  Next year when people are saying he’ll return to 30 homers, I’m going to say again he’s a 25 home run hitter.  Unless he signs with the Rockies or the Yankees.  Preseason Rank #5, 2009 Projections:  90/22/105/.310/12, Final Numbers:  94/24/109/.313/14

7. Bobby Abreu – Who would’ve put three Angels in the top 20 in the beginning of the year?  Gene Autry’s Ghost, perhaps.  But not many people.  I thought Abreu would steal a bit more on the Angels, but I thought the years of 30 steals were long gone.  Preseason Rank #25, 2009 Projections:  110/17/100/.300/20, Final Numbers:  96/15/103/.293/30

8. Michael Bourn – Speed is definitely in a renaissance.  It’s like the go-go 80s with Rock Raines sniffing coke off of the dashboard of Keith Hernandez’s El Dorado.  All we need now is for Okrent to send out the standings in the mail.  Makes you wonder if speed would’ve ever left the scene if it wasn’t for steroids.  Preseason Rank #66, 2009 Projections:  70/4/30/.240/40, Final Numbers:  97/3/35/.285/61

9. Adam Lind – I’ve already talked a bit about my thoughts on Lind for 2010.  Right now, we’re talking about 2009, ya’ll.  He’ll be the magical 27 years old in 2010.  Shoot, we’re talking about 2009.  Um, he had a good year.  Yeah, that’s the ticket.  (There will be more to come!)  Preseason Rank #61, 2009 Projections:  65/22/85/.275/3, Final Numbers:  93/35/114/.305/1

10. Jayson Werth – Hopefully you didn’t abandon ship when he got off to a rocky April start (2 homers, 10 RBIs).  After that, Werth ended up having a very consistent season, hitting at least 6 homers every month.  Then he chucked in 5 steals in four games of October because he obviously owned himself in a H2H league.  Preseason Rank #41, 2009 Projections:  95/17/70/.270/17, Final Numbers:  98/36/99/.268/20

11. Jason Bay – Now for the inconsistent Jason.  He hit 19 of his homers in two months of the season (May and August).  In July, he hit 1 homer and drove in only 5 runs.  On the bright side, he must’ve realized he was starring in a donkey show with him being the donkey because he contributed 6 steals in July.  Preseason Rank #17, 2009 Projections:  100/32/110/.280/10, Final Numbers:  103/36/119/.267/13

12. Justin Upton – I see your love for B.J. and I raise you a 20/20/.300 season.  Preseason Rank #48, 2009 Projections:  70/20/70/.260/7, Final Numbers:  84/26/86/.300/20

13. Kendry Morales – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen post. Final Numbers:

14. Ben Zobrist – Went over him in the top 20 2nd basemen post.  Final Numbers:

15. Shin-Soo Choo – I wonder if there’s a fantasy baseball blogger in Korea writing Torii Hunter is the American Shin-Soo Choo.  Things that make you say hmm…  Preseason Rank #51, 2009 Projections:  70/16/70/.280/11, Final Numbers:  87/20/86/.300/21

16. Denard Span – Did I underestimate Denard Dawg’s relevance in the beginning of the season?  I don’t think so, since my projections were pretty spot-on.  So why did I rank him 53rd?  Because I didn’t realize how few homers would come out of the outfield in 2009.  You could’ve found 27 guys who contributed 20 steals, but how many guys hit 30 homers?  11 guys.  To be continued… Preseason Rank #53, 2009 Projections:  90/8/60/.285/20, Final Numbers:  97/8/68/.311/23

17. Torii Hunter – On July 3rd, I told you to sell Hunter when he was at 17/13.  In the last three months, he went 5/5.  Cust kayin’.  Preseason Rank #30, 2009 Projections:  85/24/85/.275/17, Final Numbers:  74/22/90/.299/18

18. Nyjer Morgan – Let’s reenact the day Nyjer was traded from the Pirates.  “Nyjer, you’ve been traded.”  A five minute dance, followed by ten minutes of celebratory hoots and hollers as he lets everyone know how glad he is to be out of the Pirates organization.  “Nyjer, you’re going to the Nats.”  Nyjer cries.  Then he devotes himself to proving the Pirates wrong as he hits .351 with the Nats and steals 24 bases in 49 games.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  74/3/39/.307/42

19. Johnny Damon – The Yankees figured out a way to reverse the effects of all of their aging players.  Have them play in a Little League field.  Preseason Rank #26, 2009 Projections:  105/15/70/.285/20, Final Numbers:  107/24/82/.282/12

20. Shane Victorino – Wait, Denard Dawg was supposed to be emulating Victorino.  Teacher, student… Not student, teacher.  Not student, teacher!  Victorino’s season worries me a bit because he did much better last year in 50 less at-bats.  In 620 ABs in 2009, his stats should look better.  I’ve already had my love of Sparkakis desecrated this year.  Not you too, Victorino… Please.   Preseason Rank #15, 2009 Projections:  100/15/60/.285/35, Final Numbers:  102/10/62/.292/25

Brian Duensing went seven innings with no earned runs, 11 baserunners and 6 Ks.  I almost started him, but he was going vs. the A’s and they’ve hurt me so many times this year.  I think I owned the losing pitcher for every one of their wins.  The rest of the way, Duensing gets the Tigers twice and the Royals once.  Not terrible starts.  The Tigers hitting isn’t as good as their record and the Royals, well, ya know.  Duensing probably won’t provide you with a ton of Ks, but he has solid control and a last name that sounds like an Indonesian prison.  (BTW, his last name may only sound like that because of my new favorite TV show, Locked Up Abroad.  Next time I go abroad, I’m not even going to mule in any exotic fruit.  BTW II, instead of mule, shouldn’t they call these smugglers jackasses?  I apologize to any of our drug dealing readers.  You know who you are.)  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

B.J. Upton – Didn’t played for three games, then returned to go 0-for-3 in the 2nd game of yesterday’s doubleheader as the Rays fade from the playoff picture.  In September, the Rays have the 2nd worst Run total while batting .214.  Good to know for match ups.

Brad Lidge – You’re the manager of the Phils, let’s call you, Charlie Manuel.  So you’re “Charlie Manuel” and you have a 5-2 lead going into the ninth vs. one of the worst lineups.  Do you go to your ramshackle closer to try to build his confidence or do you go to ramshackle setup man-turned-closer or do you interrupt Brett Myers, who’s in the middle of boxing a kangaroo?  You go to Lidge, who nearly blows the save, and avoid Madson who blew the save on Saturday.

Ryan Madson – For the Phils nightcap, they decided to go with a less-aged scotch and gave Madson the save.

Pedro Martinez – 8 IP, 0 ER, 7 Ks, then he poured out an eyedropper for the dwarfs who weren’t there.

Kyle Davies – 6 IP, 7 baserunners (one hit).  He gets the White Sox next.  It’s not an ideal match-up, but Davies has now thrown four solid starts in a row and shut out the White Sox the last time he faced them in Chicago.

Pete Orr – HR yesterday.  He can cross that off his bucket list.

Ian Desmond – 2-for-5 yesterday, 4-for-4 on Saturday.  Tomorrow… lassoing the moon!

Paul Maholm – 8 IP, 0 ER.  It’s not a September run in the H2H playoffs unless you’re starting guys you don’t trust.  Maholm gets the Padres next.

Lance Berkman – HR yesterday and his third in the last four games.  Waco my airplane…

Tommy Hunter – 9 IP, 2 ER.  And the Rangers are in the top half of the league in pitching.  Zoinks!

Chris Carpenter – 6 IP, 7 ER.  Sorry to talk real baseball, but this start might’ve cost him the Cy Young.

Derrek Lee – Hit his 32nd homer yesterday.  After a terrible April and a yawnstipating May, he hit a random homer in June and I said, “Now has his average up to .253.  I know, big whoop!  But, and I might be alone on this island, I think he’s got a month or two hot streak in him.”  And that’s me quoting me!  Turned out he had about a four month hot streak in him.  Unfortunately, the steals have completely vanished from his game.

Torii Hunter – HR yesterday.  Since I’m looking down at my nuggets to offer up nuggets, when he was at 17/13 on July 3rd, I said, “My gratuity calculator is telling me if you own Hunter, you’ve gotten more production from him than you will if you continue to hold him.” He’s now at 21/16.  So he’s gone 4/3 since early July.  That’s like one week from Robot Jones.

Mark Buehrle – 7 IP, 2 ER.  After his rough stretch following his perfect game, he seems to be settling down.  He gets the Royals next.

Kendry Morales – 1-for-3, No reason to talk about him here, but this caught my eye.  He’s been caught stealing 7 times and he’s been successful one time.  Elias Sports Bureau said this is the most caught stealings for a guy who shouldn’t be running in the first place.  Actually, they didn’t say that, but something that was overheard this week in the Elias Sports Bureau compound, “For the first time ever, Natalie, in stats research, had a nervous breakdown when Jim, in Human Resources, refused her Mafia Wars invitation.”

Russell Martin – Back to back games now with homers.  Nice of Martin to show in mid-September.

Chad Billingsley – 4 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners vs. the Giants, who are just barely above the Padres as the worst offensive team in the league.  Oh, Billingsley.

Juan Uribe – HR yesterday.  If you need MI pop, he’s poppin’.

Jake Peavy – Thinks he can return by this weekend vs. the Royals.  He said yesterday, “The stamina was definitely better, the sharpness of everything (that can easily beat the Royals), the fastball command (that will strike out Royal hitters), the breaking ball (that the Royals hitters won’t be able to hit), so I’ll be ready to get in a game (versus the Royals) sometime soon.”

Hideki Matsui – 3-for-5, HR, 5 RBIs yesterday.  When he got home, his wife congratulated him.  She’s very animated.

Derek Jeter – 3-for-5, 3 Runs.  Big weekend for Jeter as he passed Gehrig’s Yankee hit record.  Now he only has one hallowed Yankee record left, the Most Times He Has To Defend A-Rod Without Actually Defending Him Only To Later Write A Book Defaming Him.  Record currently held by Joe Torre.

David Wright was released from the hospital yesterday after tests showed that he was okay from Saturday’s beaning.  When he first went down, the Mets had some serious concerns when Wright couldn’t answer straightforward questions like, “Who’s our starting shortstop?” “Who plays 1st?”  “Who’s the shirtless guy hiding in Jerry Manual’s locker?”  Wright might be out for the season.  Probably be the best thing that could happen to his fantasy owners.  The wait for his power to return can finally end.  Though I wouldn’t drop him in one year leagues until it’s official he’s not returning, unless room on your DL is spare.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Nick Johnson – Left with a hamstring injury.  He seemed to be in good spirits after the game, smiling in locker room pictures.

Nate McLouth – McLousy’s out for a few days after aggravating his hamstring injury and his fantasy owners.

Luke Scott – HR yesterday.  He credits the homer to finally feeling better from the flu.  I guess he had the dreaded 1,700 Hour Flu.

Nick Markakis – Sparkakis!  He now has 14 homers on the year.  He needs ten more to get in my good graces.  Chucking in seven steals along the way wouldn’t hurt either.  Yes, it’s a pipe dream, but it’s my pipe dream.

Erick Aybar – 3-for-6, 2 Runs, 3 RBIs and 2 steals.  Since the All-Star Break, there’s been few MI schmohawks to fill a line like EA – get in the game!

Mike Napoli – The Angels scored 17 runs, Napoli went 1-for-6 with 1 RBI.  Ticker Tease!

Torii Hunter – Returned to the lineup and went 2-for-6 with 2 RBIs, while batting sixth.  Might take him a few days to a week before he’s moved back up the order.  Then again, we’re talking about Scioscia.

Chone Figgins – 4-for-7, 3 Runs, 3 RBIs and a steal.  Who is this Angels offense?  The 1985 Cardinals?

Carlos Gonzalez – 2 HRs yesterday.  How about you give me your password and I’ll pick him up?

Chris Coghlan – 5-for-10 in the doubleheader with a HR yesterday.  Yesterday was a good day for Friday’s Buy guys.

Aaron Cook – 2 1/3 IP, 7 ER. About a week ago, turf toe sidelined him.  This start makes me think he’s not completely over it.  I wouldn’t start him anywhere until we see a decent game.  Then again, most of you probably don’t start him anywhere anyway.

Roy Oswalt – 6 IP, 5 ER.  Speaking of pitchers who just don’t seem right.

Hunter Pence – Homers now in back-to-back games.  Love to see him explode in the final month-plus like a Spinal Tap drummer.

Julio Borbon – 4 steals on Saturday, 2-for-3 on Sunday.  He’ll be leading off for the next week vs. righties until Cruz returns.  If you need steals, grab him now.  There’s no time for this Borbon to age.  Oofa!

Junichi Tazawa – 5 IP, 4 ER.  I told you my trepidation on Tazawa in Friday’s Buy/Sell.  And that’s me alluding to me!

Grady Sizemore – HR and steal yesterday as he went 2-for-4.  Since the All-Star Break, he has 4 homers and two steals.  I really wish the Indians would just shut him down so I have no reservations about drafting him next year.  (1 Pun Point for Grey.)

Taylor Teagarden/Kelly Shoppach – HR for each yesterday as The Catchers That Had Everyone Caca-Cuckoo In 2008 rise again.

Colby Rasmus – HR yesterday.  In his short time in the majors, Colby has shown himself to be hella streaky.  (Hella’s for the 18-35 males.)  Right now, Colby is hella hot.  If you need OF help, get’m while they’re hot.

Ryan Howard – 2 HRs yesterday.  For one of my teams, I hope he goes on one of his 10 homer month tears.  For a different team where I don’t own him, I hope he tanks.  Only Natalie Imbruglia knows how I feel.

Brad Lidge – When a manager brings a closer in for a one out save, it’s called kid gloves.

Rafael Soriano – Figured out a way to explain his recent gopher ball troubles, he says he’s dealing with shoulder problems.   I still maintain he’s going to lose save opps in the near future.

Clayton Richard – 3 2/3 IP, 3 ER, but 12 baserunners as he tied his owners to the WHIPping post.  But he’s a HodgePadre and shouldn’t have been started in this game anyway.  But II, The Return of But:  He threw so many walks and he gets the same team next time at Petco (Cards) that I probably won’t start him there in most leagues.

Joba Chamberlain – 5 IP, 4 ER, 10 baserunners vs. the Mariners.  Potatoes to chips, I like the way the Yankees are babying him this year (skipping him and whatnot), but I like it for next year.  For this year, it’s not helping his value when he’s skipped then throws a bucket of fake puke over the movie theater balcony.

Rajai Davis – Stole his third base in four games yesterday.  How is he owned in only 17.5% of ESPN leagues?  I know 75% of ESPN leagues are abandoned, but still.  He should be owned everywhere.

Adrian Gonzalez – 4-for-5, HR yesterday.  I wonder if Adrian calls up other teams pretending to be Kevin Towers and tries to trade himself.

Randy Wolf – 7 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 10 Ks.  And he hit a homer or as frequent commenter, Steve, said, “Wolfman jack!”

Josh Willingham – HR yesterday, 3 RBIs and offered all of his green M&M’s to sweeten the Nats deal for Strasburg.

Geoff Blum – Hit his ninth homer yesterday.  Here’s something to blow your mind.  Geoff Blum’s power > Vladimir Guerrero’s power.  Want more?  Geoff Blum’s power > David Wright’s power.

Gordon Beckham, the pride of Surrey, wrote little ol’ me a letter last week.  It went on for three pages and his penmanship left a lot to be desired, but let me share with you an excerpt.  “Hey, Grey, Gordo here.  I’m probably not going to be that great for an extended period of time in 2009.  But I appreciate you supporting my efforts.  Please share with your readers my plate disclipine and above-average speed.  I’m probably nothing more than a doubles hitter right now with the occasional dinger (the word dinger makes me giggle).  I don’t want to toot my own horn (though if I could, I’d never leave the clubhouse), but when you look at other MIs in your fantasy league, am I really that much worse?  As the President of the Debate Club, I once argued in favor of keeping Ben Grieve over Roy Halladay, so what do I know?”  Thanks, Gordo!  I think he covered everything.  At MI, ride the white lightning.  Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

Casey McGehee – When I grow up, I wanna be just like Casey McGehee.  Be touted relentlessly by me and do just okay in the major leagues.  You wanna be fair?  Okay, let’s be fair.  McGehee is a serviceable MI.  He’s not winning you leagues.  But without serviceable MIs, our great sport wouldn’t be nearly as proud.

Martin Prado – I rank them Beckham, McGehee then Prado, in that order.  And that’s me figuring someone’s gonna ask me that in the comments!

Pat Burrell – You would think A) I actually like Burrell. B) He’s done something to warrant being included in back-to-back Buy/Sells. C) There’s no C.  D) Why would there be a D if there’s no C?

Marlon Byrd – He went 22/4/20/.393/2 last August.  When the weather heats up in Texas, the caged Byrd sings.

Chad Gaudin/Kevin Correia – This Hodgepadre of starters are worth owning and starting, at least, at home.

Jason Hammel – He’s the inverse of the Gaudin/Correia daily double.  Start him in Away games.

Dallas Braden – Hasn’t given up more than 2 earned runs in his last seven starts.

Ty Wigginton – Hit a homer two days ago. Exciting, right?  Now what if I told you he just played his fifth game at shortstop?  Ah, now your wheels are turning.

Garrett Jones – A Pirates has-been rookie? Please, Grey, I had Mexican for lunch. I know, random italicized voice.  Not all that attractive.  But in deep leagues, he’s worth a flier to see what he does with playing time.  He can’t be much worst than Delwyn Young.  But Delwyn Young sucks! That’s sorta my point.

Leo Nunez – Owned in 6.7% of ESPN leagues.  That means about 93.3% of ESPN leagues are abandoned.

SELL

Torii Hunter – He’s at 17/13.  He’ll get to 27/22.  My gratutity calculator is telling me if you own Hunter, you’ve gotten more production from him than you will if you continue to hold him. No one’s saying to sell him for Felipe Paulino and an old TV Guide cover with Kermit and Miss Piggy, but I’d explore options.

Daisuke Matsuzaka – Hey, he had a good run.  Not this year.  This year he was terrible.  He had a good run last year.  I wouldn’t own him this year with your team.  If you don’t have room on your DL, lose Dice-BB.

Glen Perkins – No one’s buying Perkins, so this is less a sell, more of an Ignore.  Can’t throw the speedball by anyone.  He could be a participant in my All-Star Game festivities where he faces off against Chris Davis.   The Movable Object vs. The Movable Object.  Whose flaw will be more pronounced?

Vladimir Guerrero – I know in the beginning of the year you Rochambeau’d your buddy to own Vlad, but Guerrero’s being outslugged by Scott Hairston by almost 200 points.  Oh, nuts, Vlad’s bad.  And not bad as in good, but bad as in bad.