The Dodgers were one of the hottest clubs offensively coming into this game, so, what happened? Baseball happened, and Matt Moore throws a gem — 8 2/3 IP, 1 Hit, 3 Walks, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.95. There’s no sport like this anywhere in the world. Though, my 89-year-old Italian grandfather says the bounce on the bocce ball court can be tricky. By the way, I recounted the other day on the podcast how he drove back from Florida, non-stop, in flip-flops. So, yesterday, he went to the doctor because his foot was bothering him and the Pakistani doctor said it was due to the flip-flops. He said, “Get out of here! Your people wear nothing but sandals!” So, great start by Matt Moore, no dur, but he threw the most pitches in a game this season at 133 pitches. Why do you think? Because he can’t throw strikes. Dodgers just happened to feel like swinging at balls. That’s what I hope she didn’t say! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Carlos Ruiz – Was traded to the Dodgers for A.J. Ellis. Trading an actual Granny Smith apple for a Red Delicious apple couldn’t be more even.
Andre Ethier – Heads out for a rehab assignment. Nice, I only paid $12 for him in an NL-Only auction back in March. Really got my money’s worth!
Yasiel Puig – Dodgers have rebuffed offers for Puig. I might be using the wrong definition of rebuff, but I hope this means the Dodgers keep shining up offers until they’re able to sell him on Craigslist for best available offer.
Jacob deGrom – Terry Collins said looks ‘run down.’ I like how Collins says this like it’s a big effin’ surprise. I wonder how the effin eff deGrom got run down? I can’t even imagine! Could it be the jump of 70 extra innings from 2014 to 2015? I mean, you think maybe just maybe? Mets are one comical organization. Collins gets annoyed that the PR person pushes for him to say Matz and Syndergaard have elbow spurs, but I guess the childproof seal is broke now and we’re just blowing up everyone’s spot! C’mon, Collins, let’s hear it, what else you got? Neil Walker a bed wetter? So, deGrom will be pushed back, and this does not bode well for him moving forward, but I think you have to remain patient for now.
Jay Bruce – Out with a calf problem. Moo!
Seth Lugo – 5 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 2.51. You know those tape rollers that you use to pick up lint? Okay, imagine the Mets had one but instead of lint, it picked up arm injuries for pitchers. So, Lugo should get more starts and his next matchup isn’t bad.
Alejandro De Aza – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 5 RBIs and his 5th homer. Fun fact! Twerking used to be known as The Alejandrop.
Brandon Moss – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and two homers (24, 25). He’s not in the Buy column coming later today, because I told you to pick him up like three dozen times. Don’t make Grey go back there!
Adam Wainwright – 5 IP, 2 ER, 11 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 4.67. There was five unearned runs for him too for the heart stopping ticker shock.
Jedd Gyorko – 2-for-5, 2 runs and his 21st homer. He’s having one of those seasons that will make proraters crazy next preseason. He had 21 homers in 285 at-bats. If he gets 550 at-bats, he’s going to hit 75 jacks. Exclamation mark!
Stephen Piscotty – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 20th homer. Please, get to 25 homers. For me. Don’t worry about why!
Daniel Hudson – 1 IP, 0 ER in the 8th inning of a losing game, after the Diamondbacks said they could turn to Hudson next for saves. The Diamondbacks’ collective closer since Ziegler was traded reminds me of Pauly Shore. He’ll get a job somewhere, but you don’t want to watch it.
A.J. Pollock – Will play two out of every three games when he returns. When the Diamondbacks play a four game series that has a rainout in the middle, the coaches will decide to fold the team because they can’t figure out how Pollock’s schedule works. Think I’m joking, but the Shelby Miller trade is Exhibit A for the Diamondbacks’ intelligence.
Robbie Ray – 5 IP, 2 ER, 10 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.28. Ray is not only a roll of the dice; he’s a horn bet. You’re either striking it big or crapping out. No insurance on the Come line with this guy.
Ender Inciarte – 2-for-5, 1 run. He has multiple hits in seven of his last 11 games. The schmotato is hot with this guy.
Matthew Wisler – 8 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 4.92. With absolutely nothing to back this assertion up, Wisler seems to have more of these out-of-nowhere, against-all-odds, Phil-Collins-type starts. We’ve seen it before, we might see it again, but I don’t trust him to consistently do it.
Andrew Benintendi – Sounds done for the year with a knee sprain. Too bad, I hate to see promising rookies go down like that, and this sentiment even holds for Red Sox players. Barely.
Eduardo Rodriguez – Declared himself ready for Sunday’s start. Also, declared himself a Poli-Sci major. The major you declare when you have no idea what you want to do with your life, said by someone who was a Poli-Sci major. As my mom says, don’t worry, Capricorns are late bloomers. Any day now, ma!
Drew Pomeranz – 6 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 2.95, ERA at 4.06 on the Red Sox. Those ERAs are exactly where I’d put a solid #2’s ERA at depending on the league. If you said to me, a solid #2 NL starter, I’d say 2.95 ERA. In AL, I’d say 4.06 sounds about right. Now that I think about it, I almost wonder if that, and that alone was Cueto’s issue on the Royals last year.
Jake Odorizzi – 7 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.53. And I dropped him. “Wait, wait, Unkie Fantasy Master Lothario, Odorizzi has been great, and you dropped him? What gives? Besides, your big heart.” His road ERA is 4.32, and he goes to Fenway next. You need to be that fast with borderline pitchers this late in the year.
Josh Tomlin – 4 1/3 IP, 7 ER. No offense to any of their teams’ fans, but no team in the AL Central should make the playoffs. Talk about a limp job with the Indians pitchers in the last few weeks.
Carlos Gomez – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 6th homer. I’ll cop to it, I immediately went to pick up Gomez in two of my leagues, and did grab him in one league, while finding he’s been on Tehol’s team for who knows how long in the other league. I could see Gomez going 0-for-56 in the next week or hitting five homers and claiming to be revitalized. As a flyer, sure, grab him. Remember, I’m replacing Mitch Haniger, so my situation might be more dire. See, Mitch did kill my vibe.
Rougned Odor – 1-for-4 and his 24th homer. He also has 11 steals, and hitting .273. So, I was shocked he was only the tenth best 2nd baseman on the Player Rater. MI is kinda stacked, yo.
Adrian Beltre – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 22nd homer. Impressed he has so many homers. Hat tip. Don’t worry, not hat touch.
Cole Hamels – 8 IP, 0 ER, 2 Hits, Zero Walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 2.67. Hamels is the exception to the rule that pitchers go to the AL and are worse. Maybe the exception that proves the rule, but I don’t fully follow that logic.
Jose Bautista – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs as he was activated from the DL. After months of complaining that he’s hitting leadoff, I Googled it to see if anyone else was talking about it. I found an article on May 20th saying Bautista would hit leadoff to try to shake out of his slump. Four months later, he’s hitting .222. Maybe this experiment hasn’t worked, I don’t know, guessing here.
J.A. Happ – 5 IP, 4 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.19. After months of being a respectable starter, I have a random prediction that he has a terrible September, and ends the season with a 3.60-ish ERA. Then, next year, people will look at him exactly as they did this past preseason and totally forget he was good for four months.
Joe Mauer – Out with quad issues. Who makes a deal with the devil for ten homers? C’mon, Mauer, find a better negotiator.
Jose Berrios – 5 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 9.24 as he was demoted back to the minors. The logical part of my brain tells me this season for Berrios means nothing. He’s young and he can bounce back, but the little red guy in my Inside/Out brain that controls the irrational thoughts makes me think Berrios is going to be affected by this year in 2017.
James McCann – 4-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 11th homer, and 2nd homer in the last four games, and third homer in the last ten games and 11th homer in his last *covers mouth so you can’t hear number* games.
Daniel Norris – 6 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.63. For this year, he’s a streamer, that I’d use the Stream-o-Nator for, but if you look at his peripherals, which I’ve done — Muahahahaha! Sorry, I evil laugh Tourette’s. — and Norris is gonna be a sneaky value play next year. His velocity went up this year, his K-rate could move into the 8s and he’s only 23.
James Paxton – 5 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.63, as he was activated from the DL. Paxton is so all over the map with his results, that there’s no way of knowing if he’s nursing his elbow injury still or if this start was par for the course. Either way, I would give him another start.
Tim Anderson – 3-for-4, 2 runs, hitting .283. Of course, he’s in the Buy column coming later today. I’m crazy for this guy. It’s Timaddness!
Kirk Nieuwenhuis – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 12th homer. That’s how you do a batty call, bizz-oy!
Chad Kuhl – 6 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.50. He has a 5-something K/9 and had a 5-something K/9 in the minors, i.e., not Kuhl.
Andrew McCutchen – 3-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 18th homer, hitting .250, OBP .329. I mention the OBP because that’s the most surprising stat for him. Maybe his knees did slow his running game, maybe his BABIP fell and hurt his average, but OBP? How about McCutchen goes to see Ramos’ doctor and gets Lasik?
Alcides Escobar – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer, hitting .263. Usually when Alcides hits a homer, he gets another within six to eight weeks. Like clockwork!
Tom Koehler – 6 IP, 3 ER, 9 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.85. This start was a no-brainer stream. He’s solid at home and the Royals are one of the worst offenses. Don’t believe me, look at their lineup. And, when you do, keep in mind, Cain and Hosmer haven’t been good either.
Jorge Alfaro – Recalled by the Phillies. He hit 13 homers this year in Double-A. Gary Sanchez Part Deux?! Well, maybe, I guess, but it sounds like Alfaro’s going to be a backup catcher on the Phils, so I’d hold for now in redrafts.
Lucas Giolito – Will return to take over Reynaldo Lopez’s rotation spot. When he announced it, Dusty screamed, “Throw it to Lucas!” Then waited five seconds, adding, “The Corey Haim movie. Really? No one?” I think Giolito’s going to be a number one at some point, but I don’t think it’s happening in September. Proceed with caution as this sign says above my head on this bridge between two mountains.
Jayson Werth – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 17th homer, hitting .251. He’s been so old, and ratty and still better than Justin Upton.
Trea Turner – 2-for-4, 1 run, 15th steal, hitting .340. Treat Urner isn’t just a name for a machine that gives your dog a bone when you’re not at home, it’s also the hottest 2nd base-eligible player in the game.
Max Scherzer – 8 IP, 0 ER, 2 Hits, Zero Walks, 10 Ks, ERA at 2.92. He’s incredible, you know that. But related question, you know how Scherzer has two different colored eyes? Well, he does if you don’t know. So, my question is, does he see everything like when you’re wearing 3-D glasses before the movie starts?
Marc Rzepczynski – Traded to the Nationals. In related news, the Nationals’ equipment manager asked the Nats’ tech guy if there was a way to copy and paste names onto the back of a uniform.
