With the top 40 outfielders for 2016 fantasy baseball, we’ve finished all the hitter recaps. We meaning me, but I’ll include you. No, that’s not a cue to try to hold my hand. Why are you now patting my butt? Don’t muss my hair! The pitching recap will begin next. You can hardly wait. No, you! To recap, the end of the season rankings are based on our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater. I felt the easiest way to keep it objective would to go this route. This way when I say someone finished 30th and I ranked them 23rd in the preseason, it carries more weight like a non-vegan Bill Clinton. Anyway, here’s the top 40 outfielders for 2016 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:
21. Gregory Polanco – The funny thing (which is unlikely to be funny to anyone) people were scratching their heads about my preseason ranking of Polanco, and how high I was on him, but they had no problem with my speed projections, they didn’t understand how Polanco was going to hit 15 homers. Yeah, he blew away 15 homers, but Machado’d his speed. I might be even more aggressive with Polanco next year, thinking he can put together the 20+ homer power with the 30 steal speed. Yeah, I love Polanco. Preseason Rank #14, 2016 Projections: 101/15/62/.269/30, Final Numbers: 79/22/86/.258/17
22. Rajai Davis – I’m going to go out on a 150-year-old, sturdy-as-shizz oak limb and say The King of SAGNOF has been in the top 40 outfielders for four (stutterer!) of the past five years, yet — again with some stank — YET! if I were to rank Rajai in the top 40 in the preseason y’all would be like, “Yo, Grey is handsome, but dum AF. What’s that? Dum has a B? You sure? So, it’s spelled bum? The B’s at the end? Aw, get out of here!” Preseason Rank #62, 2016 Projections: 52/8/38/.251/29, Final Numbers: 74/12/48/.249/43
23. Jay Bruce – Appropriate that Bruce and Upton are back-to-back because both are so great (for a few months) then are so terrible (for a few months). If you traded Bruce for Upton on July 17th, then all praise to you, Jesus Allah Zuckerberg, as they’re instructed to call their boss at Facebook. You are some kind of soothsayer, a sayer of soothes, if you will. Preseason Rank #63, 2016 Projections: 65/27/82/.229/8, Final Numbers: 74/33/99/.250/4
24. Justin Upton – Hahahahahahahahahaha… Upton kills me, literally and figuratively. He reached his projections almost, nearly, exactly, perfectly, on the mark, and looked like a scrub, barely, almost, not-exactly terrible for four of six months. Is there anyone that looks like they should retire for two-thirds of the season while still having a top 25 outfielder year? Oh, yeah, Jay Bruce. Preseason Rank #10, 2016 Projections: 95/29/102/.254/12, Final Numbers: 81/31/87/.246/9
25. Odubel Herrera – I faintly remembered liking ODB in the preseason, so I went to read what I wrote and I did have him in a tier of deep league flyers, i.e., I was positive on him, just not positive on what I was positive on. ODB definitely was hot like Mariah in the 1st half, more than the 2nd half when he was just an Old Dirty Bastard. Preseason Rank #98, 2016 Projections: 58/6/51/.257/15, Final Numbers: 87/15/49/.286/25
26. Yoenis Cespedes – His end-of-the-season ranking is much worse than his preseason one because 4,765 guys hit 30 homers, and less because Yoenis was disappointing. Technically, since Yoenis missed thirty games, you likely got a lot more from his outfield slot than a top 26 outfielder too. Preseason Rank #16, 2016 Projections: 85/27/102/.278/7, Final Numbers: 72/31/86/.280/3
27. Stephen Piscotty – I seriously almost fell off my seat when I saw my projections for Piscotty, though, I am typing this while standing up. “Who got a standing desk? This mo’fo!” Which is also the most unlikely rap lyrics ever. I could’ve sworn I projected Piscotty for 25 homers. At some point in-season, I started begging Piscotty to get to 25 homers on the year and soon I began to think that was my projection for him. Damn, he surpassed my expectations by a lot! Preseason Rank #43, 2016 Projections: 86/15/65/.278/7, Final Numbers: 86/22/85/.273/7
28. Chris Davis – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen.
29. Adam Jones – Due to *uck Showalter, we were cost about five to ten spots in the rankings on Jones. Most guys if they moved from cleanup to leadoff, they’d just flip-flop their runs and RBIs. Any ideas why this is not true for Jones? Has a little something to do with his .310 OBP. If he hit cleanup, he prolly would’ve had near the same number of runs, but would’ve also had at least 20 more RBIs. Preseason Rank #20, 2016 Projections: 82/28/95/.266/4, Final Numbers: 86/29/83/.265/2
30. Billy Hamilton – I giggled slightly when I saw he only knocked in 17 runs. Any hoo! I can give you a pretty easy shorthand on Hamilton. He’s always going to be ranked between 30 and 40 if he plays close to a full season; any player would that can get out of bed and steal 60 bases. Is he easy to own? No, not especially because it’s straight speed and nothing else. Preseason Rank #37, 2016 Projections: 71/5/35/.244/60, Final Numbers: 69/3/17/.260/58
31. Trea Turner – Went over him in the top 20 2nd basemen.
32. Yasmany Tomas – Went over him in the top 20 3rd basemen.
33. Ben Zobrist – Went over him in the top 20 2nd basemen.
34. Adam Eaton – Damn, he’s a bore. His value almost entirely lies in the 619 at-bats. Without those ABs, there’s no Eaton, which sounds contradictory. Should be with those abs, there’s no eating. Preseason Rank #36, 2016 Projections: 101/11/58/.278/21, Final Numbers: 91/14/59/.284/14
35. Hernan Perez – Went over him in the top 20 2nd basemen.
36. Melvin Upton – I don’t know what the Padres were feeding their hitters in the first half of the year, but Myers and Upton were all bowdie-bout-it, then Upton was traded and reverted to his previous B.J. years, I mean sucking. Preseason Rank #128, 2016 Projections: 37/7/29/.217/15, Final Numbers: 64/20/61/.238/27
37. Andrew McCutchen – A lot of guys in this top 40 — Piscotty, McCutchen, Calhoun, Melky, Zobrist, Eaton — weren’t exactly terrific; what they all did was have a crapton of at-bats. With that said, McClutchin-My-Knee should’ve been obvious to rank this low in the preseason. His knee is shot and he got older than Benjamin Button played backwards in fast motion. Preseason Rank #8, 2016 Projections: 89/24/98/.289/14, Final Numbers: 81/24/79/.256/6
38. Brad Miller – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen.
39. Kole Calhoun – If this were an ordinary season and we were living in an ordinary world and we were ordinary men with extraordinary women, Calhoun should’ve had 30+ homers this year. He’s in his prime and this year Gyorko hit 30 homers in 84 at-bats, so Calhoun, you did a’ight, but a’ight doesn’t walk the dog, butter the biscuit or say sorry when you run over someone’s foot with your Vespa. Preseason Rank #41, 2016 Projections: 76/23/54/.258/5, Final Numbers: 91/18/75/.271/2
40. Melky Cabrera – They should make one of those novelty baseball cards like they did in the 80s of Vida Blue and Bud Black, that they labeled “Black and Blue,” but with Melky, Coco Crisp and LL Cool J, labelled, “Melky…Cereal…Baby…Melky…Cereal…Baby…” Preseason Rank #68, 2016 Projections: 79/14/68/.276/5, Final Numbers: 70/14/86/.296/2
