Sup, readers of the Razz.  Normally I lead with a pitcher call that I think is undervalued and sometimes I lead with a bat if said bat has enough to talk about with them.  Don’t worry, I get paid by the word so you’ll never have to worry about me not having too much to say about anything.  And yet, here we are.  I’m speechless.  This late slate of pitching has two beautiful scenarios at a high price and a whole lot of dreck.  Ricky Nolasco is $7,100.  He’s the seventh best pitcher, according to DK pricing.  The world hates us, fam.  I’ll have some points per dollar calls in the pitching today but in reality, pay up for the big two in cash and play in lots of tourneys with some bad arms elsewhere.  Did I get you excited?!?  Boy howdy!  Ok, ok, let’s do this.  Here’s my cover your hair and eyes hot taeks for this Wednesday DK slate…

New to DraftKings? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday July 4th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.

Max Scherzer, SP: $13,500 – Really couldn’t get much more perfect than this.  The Mets offense is dinged up and struggling and now they’re facing one of the premier arms in the league.  Not likely to end well for New York.  Pairing Mad Max and Danny Salazar at $12,200 is gonna be hard, but it might be the best route for tonight.  We’ll discuss some discounts as we mosey along but when I cover plan B as we go, you’ll understand…

Jake Peavy, SP: $6,600 – We’re looking strictly at dollars per point here and Peavy doesn’t need to do much to reach value.  Likely scenario?  He doesn’t do much.  Peavy with Scherzer or Salazar in cash makes plenty of sense on a slate like this.

Edinson Volquez, SP: $4,700 – I mean, he’s not good but he’s not as bad as his last game.  Simply because I think he’ll have a high profile as a guy to stack against, I’m on board with EV in tourneys.  Whether he’s positive or negative EV remains to be seen, though.

James Shields, SP: $4,400 – I TOLD YOU.  It’s ugly out here today.  Shields will be virtually unowned in a matchup against a team that is near the bottom in wRC+ and K a healthy amount against righties.  Clearly just a tourney only call as we’re looking for a dead cat bounce.

Carlos Frias, SP: $4,100 – The venue ain’t great, but Frias has a lot going for him in this start.  The Brewers lead the league in K% against righties on the year and they’ve been particularly gross with a 29.1% K rate over their last seven heading into last night.  The price and the matchup says Frias is worth the gamble, even with Miller Park looming.

Chris Stewart, C: $2,400 – Man, I am making some sexy pics.  This is the swimsuit edition of Razzball DFS, I tell ya!  If you wanna follow me to Scherzer and Salazar, you have to make some concessions and no you don’t make those at a concession stand.  Concession is a weird word…anyways, Stewart is cheap and if he’s not in, his back up of Erik Kratz is $400 cheaper.  Thank you, Wade Miley, for making this lowballing possible.

Carlos Santana, 1B: $4,400 – If I’m looking to stack on a day where so many bats should be in play, it’s down in Atlanta.  Apparently the Cavs have opened up a floodgate and now we are watching the WINdians.  Just looking at Casey Kelly’s ten game log is cringe worthy.  Likely a bullpen game for the #Barves and with that, I’m all in.  Give me Francisco Lindor, Jason Kipnis, Lonnie Chisenhall, and Jose Ramirez if I’m going full five and look for Tyler Naquin if you’re wanting to give some variance.

Mark Teixeira, 1B: $3,500 – After homering in two straight prior to last night, Teix has my atteixtion…I’m truly sorry for that one.  Nick Martinez is of no concern.  Normally I’d suggest a Yankees stack here, but we know the 1927 Yankees are maybe about three years older than this current Yankees lineup.  Pass.

Sean Rodriguez, 2B/OF: $3,100 – It may seem like I’m suggesting a stack against Miley – and maybe I kinda am – but I’m really just pointing out the deals where they are.  No idea where Sean-Rod is gonna bat but against a lefty, he likely will bat and in a good RBI spot to boot.  Oh yeah and might as well point out Josh Harrison here as well.  Same price, similar upside.  Pick your poison.

Ramiro Pena, 2B: $2,000 – No clue if he bats against a lefty but he’s come up smoking and I’m not gonna scrutinize a free square on a day like this.

Todd Frazier, 3B: $3,800 – That .201 average masks those 21 HRs quite nicely.  Nolasco is a tease and has been for a long, long time but what he’s also been is someone who blows up in a hurry.  A White Sox stack sounds solid, but I’d just make sure I get the cheapest bats in *looks* wait, they’re all cheap!

David Freese, 1B/3B: $3,700 – Yes, I’m slowly revealing a Pirates stack like a strip…I mean ‘professional dancer’ slowly removes their clothing.  Before I waste anyone else’s time, yes, Jordy Mercer probably leads off and yes, Mercer is a good play.  If you can scrape the shekels together to add in Starling Marte, you have my blessing.

Corey Seager, SS: $4,800 – There aren’t many deals to be had without lineups at SS right now so let’s face the facts: Seager in a lefty friendly park is a good play, but of course that’s not the question.  The real question is: can you afford him?  They’re your fake DK dollars, not mine, so you decide.

Bryce Harper, OF: $4,300 – Slowly but surely, Harper is regaining his crown as the best hitter in baseball.  Enjoy the ride back up to $5K.  Just be sure to keep all arms in legs inside on the way up for safety reasons.

Max Kepler, OF: $3,500 – Kepler currently has a .777 OPS.  I know, doesn’t sound like much.  But then you consider he had a .472 OPS to start June and your eyes go boggle.  Kepler is slowly showing his potential and is hard to resist at this price with his upside.

I’m Only Happy When It Rains

Early slate, late slate, doesn’t matter.  Mother nature is your friend today.  Heck, it even wants to see HRs hit in Oakland today with 15 MPH winds blow straight out to center.  Mighty nice of her!

Doing Lines In Vegas

As you’d expect from these pitcher prices, Vegas expects plenty of runs.  Of the 15 games going today, seven have an O/U of 9 or higher and half of the remaining eight sit at 8.5.  All this to say, they like my call of rolling Scherzer (-165 favorite with an o/u of 7.5) and Salazar along with the Indians stack (-215 with an 8 o/u).  Meanwhile, Masahiro Tanaka and the Yanks are sitting pretty at -180, but I can’t ever seem to find a reason to roster Tanaka.  Either the price – like today – or the matchup never intrigue me.  There’s a lot of floor and not much ceiling with the guy.  If you’re playing the early slate, you’ve got Kyle Hendricks sitting at -210 against the Reds on the road.