Hehe, I said tool. Okay, with help of a very talented programmer and an occasional commenter, Jamil, we’ve turned this year’s War Room inside out and ripped off the tag. Our 2013 Fantasy Baseball War Room is one part draft tool, one part fantasy team evaluator, one part fantasy junkie’s s’s and g’s tool, one part holy, two parts smokes, three parts… How many parts is that so far? Cause it’s only really seven parts total. I think there’s one part kill-your-day-with-this-war-room-thing-a-maboob in there too. I don’t know, guys and four girls, I think it’s pretty cool and I only get excited about things once every three full moons or once every time I see the t-shirt with three moons and a wolf. For reals, it might be the best thing since sliced bread. Now sliced bread that is toasted and buttered is another story entirely. This shizz is so insane, we named it after Andre 3000. Shake it like a Fantasy Baseball War Room, shake it!
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Valentine’s Day is coming early this year! For a limited time only, get your loved one a fantasy baseball league! That’s right, your hearts go pitter-patter or you’re dead on the inside (my condolences). Since back in June when you abandoned your fantasy baseball team because it was totally sucking and you returned to your cubbyhole of leftover Chinese food and Teddy Grahams, you’ve longed for this day. As Bob Marley sang, this is your redemption song, mon. Or womon, for our four girl readers. It’s time again to join some fantasy baseball leagues. Before you close all of your extraneous porn windows and rush to sign up, let’s explain how these fantasy baseball leagues are going to work. We’re going to have a bunch of leagues and crown a winner from each, then we’re going to crown ONE winner from all of the winners. We will be crowning the winner by taking each team’s points and multiplying it against a ‘league competitiveness factor.’ If you want to see how it worked last year, go here. So we’re going to fill up as many fantasy leagues as we can for the next couple of weeks. Each fantasy baseball league will be a mixed league, 12 team, snake draft, roto, 5×5, 5 OFs, one Middle Infielder, one Corner Infielder, one Utility, 9 pitchers, 20 game eligibility, 180 Games Started max, 1000 IP minimum. The lineup is also known as: C/1B/2B/SS/3B/CI/MI/5 OF/UTIL/9 P/3 BENCH/1 DL. The fantasy leagues will be played in ESPN and they will be free to join.
We’re going to start with twenty-one leagues of 12 and see how we do from there. To join a league…
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Top 400 for 2013 Fantasy Baseball
February 8, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Baseball Draft, Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 331 Commentsby: Grey
Finally, we come to the end of the 2013 fantasy baseball rankings. (Can we start games already?) A little birdie told me we’re opening up our commenter fantasy leagues on Monday. Then the little birdie pooped on my shoulder and I thought it was blue cheese and I put it on a cracker and– Wait, where was I? Okay, you know that I like Brett Gardner more than Carlos Gomez in the top 60 outfielders for 2013 fantasy baseball. You know I like Alcides Escobar less than Erick Aybar as seen at the top 20 shortstops for 2012 fantasy baseball, but you don’t know how I feel about where these guys fall in the bigger picture. Is Aybar above Gardner? So to show you where I think players fall in relation to each other in 2013 fantasy baseball drafts, I’m putting together a top 400 for 2013 fantasy baseball. This still needs to be taken with a grain of salt. If you have a shortstop already and Aybar is still on the board in the 17th round, you don’t draft him if you see Carlos Gomez and you need an outfielder, even though Gomez is below Aybar on this list. So I might take someone at 200 over someone at 180? Yes, every draft is different. With the top 10, there’s almost no latitude. With the top 100, there’s a decent amount of latitude. With a top 400, there’s lots of latitude. You taking someone at 185 is more or less the same as someone else taking someone at 235. So if you see someone who’s ranked at 250th, but want them at 200, then do what you do. Because of the length of the top 400, there’s no pithy comments with each name, but you kinda do need to know what I’m thinking for each name, so I advise you go over each position in the 2013 fantasy baseball rankings. The top 100 and top 400 is what I would have at my drafts, along with the Point Shares and the top 20 rankings posts. Along with the Fantasy Baseball War Room if I was drafting online (which is hopefully ready on Tuesday). This top 400 for 2013 fantasy baseball will live under that link that also has the 2013 Steamer projections. Finally, see our list of all players with multiple position eligibility. Anyway, here’s the top 400 for 2013 fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Top 100 for 2013 Fantasy Baseball
February 7, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Baseball Draft, Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 252 Commentsby: Grey
With the 2013 fantasy baseball rankings for every position done, we turn our lazy eye towards the top 100 for 2013 fantasy baseball. These 2013 fantasy baseball rankings are one part fresh and two parts to death. They own a cat, a dog and a lizard in a two bedroom apartment where pets aren’t allowed. Know why? Cause they don’t care! None of this top 100 for 2013 fantasy baseball is meant to surprise. *jumping out of a closet* Boo! Now, that was meant to surprise. This top 100 is just taking my positional rankings and putting guys in The Big Picture. You really should read each ranking post because the blurbs in this top 100 are on the skimpy side because there’s so many of them, and I went over each one of these guys already. Obviously at a hundred players, some guys just didn’t make it. About 300, to be inexact. It’s okay, there will be a top 400 tomorrow. Shortly, Sloth, you’ll have your Baby Ruth. Not to get all biblical on you, but this is the gospel. Print it out and take it to Mt. Sinai and it will say, “Win your 2013 fantasy baseball league, young prematurely balding man.” Projections were done by me and a crack team of 100 monkeys fighting amongst themselves because there were only 99 typewriters. Somebody please buy Ling-Ling his own typewriter! To help with your drafting, there’s also a list of players with multiple position eligibility, and all of the 2013 fantasy baseball projections. Anyway, here’s the top 100 for 2013 fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Closer Look
February 6, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Baseball Draft, Closers, Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 127 Commentsby: Grey
Unlike other 2013 fantasy baseball rankings posts, I’m just gonna rank all of the closers in the format of every Closer Look I’ve done in the past. Unlike other Closer Looks, I put projections in. The setup men are in order in parentheses, and the relevant ones have projections, as well. Once Brian Wilson and Jose Valverde sign, I’ll add them; neither are much more than end of the staff flyers. You should draft saves first and foremost in all but Holds leagues. Ratios for relievers are very fickle. Ratios for middle men are all over the map. Every year middle men come out of nowhere. Just because Venters is with a top reliever does not make him the number one middle man. David Robertson would be that. When I rank my top 400 on Friday, I’ll have everyone in there. Closers as of right now are listed first even if I think someone else will get more saves; as with the Tigers shituation. The other day Smokey did a top middle relievers for the NL post (AL will be up shortly); Rudy also has all of the Holds projected in the 2013 fantasy baseball projections. My biggest problem with ranking Holds is there’s no rhyme or reason from season to season with closers, then take that fickle fluidity (fickidity?) and multiple it by five when you start to go further into bullpens. Last year, the Holds leaders were Joel Peralta, Pestano, Mitchell Boggs and Dor-K (for our dyslexic readers). The year before, only Pestano made it in the top 20 and he ranked 16th overall. Tyler Clippard was the best in 2011, where was he in 2012? 66th overall after he took May thru August off to captain a ship in America’s Cup. If getting saves is about opportunity, getting Holds is about opportunity plus a coin toss. Anyway, here’s all the closers for 2013 fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Top 100 Starters for 2013 Fantasy Baseball
February 5, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Baseball Draft, Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 157 Commentsby: Grey
This post is about 3000 words due to wanting to cover everyone. Stupid, OCD! OCD Voice, “Don’t forget to touch your elbow 75 times before ranking these guys, it’s good luck!” Due to its length, I’ll get right to the good stuff. All the 2013 fantasy baseball rankings are there. All 2013 Fantasy Baseball Position Eligibility is there. All 2013 fantasy baseball sleepers are there. All 2013 fantasy baseball rookies are there. All 2013 fantasy baseball dollar values are there. All 2013 fantasy baseball hitter projections are there. All 2013 fantasy baseball pitcher projections are there. And everything tangentially related to nonsense is there. Anyway, here’s the top 100 starters for 2013 fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Top 80 Starters for 2013 Fantasy Baseball
February 4, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Baseball Draft, Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 148 Commentsby: Grey
I’ve gone over the top 20 starters for 2013 fantasy baseball, the top 40 starters for 2013 fantasy baseball and the top 60 starters for 2013 fantasy baseball, which brings us to the top 80 starters for 2013 fantasy baseball. Crazy how that worked, huh? Next thing you tomorrow will be the top 100. There’s […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Top 60 Starters for 2013 Fantasy Baseball
February 1, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Baseball Draft, Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 157 Commentsby: Grey
In our 2013 fantasy baseball rankings, we’ve gone over so many flippin’ players I’ve lost track. This is, I believe, the top 60 starters for 2013 fantasy baseball, but you’re best to check the title to be sure. If it is indeed the top 60 starters, then you’re in luck. Only a few more top 20 rankings posts. What is it, February? March? Why don’t I have an app for this? Or do I want a hashtag? App ‘n Hashtag would be a good name for a 50’s style diner with wifi. As with the other rankings posts, tiers and my projections are mentioned. Anyway, here’s the top 60 starters for 2013 fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Top 40 Starters for 2013 Fantasy Baseball
January 31, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Baseball Draft, Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 195 Commentsby: Grey
Yesterday, went over the top 20 starters for 2013 fantasy baseball. Today is, you guessed it! The top 40 starters for 2013 fantasy baseball. There’s fifteen pitchers in these twenty that I will draft. Can you guess which ones? No, not the ones named Chuck. There are no Chucks. Are you even trying? You’ll see from these twenty starters that even the ones I like I’m not quite as jazzed about them. I’m thinking I’m gonna end up with Greinke, Moore and Samardzija on every team and be done with the top 40 starters. Due to drafting about six to seven bazillion teams (rounding up a kajillion), I might mix it up here and there. All of the 2013 fantasy baseball rankings are there. As always, my projections and where tiers start and stop are includamente. That’s Spanish. Anyway, here’s the top 40 starters for 2013 fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Top 20 Starters for 2013 Fantasy Baseball
January 30, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Baseball Draft, Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 203 Commentsby: Grey
The royal we already went over all the hitters for 2013 fantasy baseball rankings. That’s not the “royal we” as that term usually implies. It was me writing it alone while wearing a Burger King crown. I refuse to draft a top starter anywhere where they are usually drafted. Unlike hitters, you need six starters, depending on your league depth. Simple math tells us there’s starters to go around. In most leagues, there’s a ton of guys on waivers that can help you — all year. Not just in April, and then they disappear. With the help of the Stream-o-Nator (it’s not populated right now because there’s no scheduled games), you can get by with, say, three starters while streaming the rest. To read more about streaming as a draft strategy. There’s also the fact that three stats by starters are difficult to predict due to luck. Wins, ERA and WHIP are prone to shift due to which way the ball bounces and whether or not the guys behind the pitchers can do anything. Finally, I’m good at projecting starters, so just fall back into my arms. I won’t drop you. Anyway, here’s the top 20 starters for 2013 fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Top 100 Outfielders for 2013 Fantasy Baseball
January 29, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Baseball Draft, Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 107 Commentsby: Grey
You, “Hey, look at that, I’m in a crazy/stupid/gooftarded deep league and everyone in this league that I’m talking to myself about is well-versed in this fantasy baseball shizz because they are also in this crazy/stupid/gooftarded deep league yet they forgot to draft Matt Holliday. Cool!” Yeah, that’s not going to happen. If you’re drafting from guys in the top 100 outfielders for 2013 fantasy baseball, your league is deep and you know you’re not going to get much from these guys. Potatoes to chips, most of these guys will be worth owning at some point in the season. In keepers and single league, uh, leagues, most should be owned from the jump, if ‘from the jump’ means what I think it does when kids say it. Now get off my lawn! Here’s all of the 2013 fantasy baseball rankings. If you’re joining us late, here’s the top 20 outfielders, top 40 outfielders, top 60 outfielders and top 80 outfielders. Anyway, here’s the top 100 outfielders for 2013 fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Top 80 Outfielders for 2013 Fantasy Baseball
January 28, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Baseball Draft, Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 190 Commentsby: Grey
You remember when I started these top twenty 2013 fantasy baseball rankings. We were over-the-internet friends still. Then we had that disagreement about where I ranked Matt Kemp and I said I’m sorry, and you called me a stupid, what-and-what. We were younger then, with our whole month of January in front of us. Now, here we are at the top 80 outfielders for 2013 fantasy baseball and there’s only one more hitter post ranking to come, unless you count the DH’s, but DH’ing is for sissies and guys nicknamed after animals. All of the rankings are under the 2013 fantasy baseball rankings thing-a-ma-whosie. If you’d like, I can list each one of them again. Maybe soon. After you apologize for saying mean things about my Cougar, who I proposed to yesterday. Sorry, four girl readers, I’m off the market for at least the next 47 months, according to the National Council of Family Values. Anyway, here’s the top 80 outfielders for 2013 fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?