Such a weird week of Jodie Foster references at Razzball, and we’re only to Wednesday. What will be tomorrow? Joe Panik Room? Okay, raise your hand if you saw Starling Marte being suspended for Nandrolone. The one person raising his or her hand is the person supplying Marte with Nandrolone. Take ’em away, boys! I just made my 2nd imaginary arrest. My first was when I imagined arresting Ben Carson for driving with his eyes closed. This is like Pollock 2016 all over again, except instead of breaking his elbow; Marte broke our trust. As punishment, Starling Marte should get an 80-game suspension or a “We were all rooting for you” Tyra GIF tattooed on his back. I think Gregory Popolanco turned him in, with help from Freese. Adam Frazier will get a regular job in the outfield since the Pirates said Austin Meadows isn’t ready yet. Bee oh oh. Boo. I grabbed Meadows in all mixed leagues for the sheer excitement, but within about an hour I realized Meadows is unlikely coming up until at least June and dropped him. As for Marte, you can likely lose him in most redraft leagues, and, for some of us, we’re having a “Don’t have Marte” party! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’m trying an experiment. I’m writing this opening lede before the actual draft. I wish there was some way to timestamp this, but you’ll have to take my word for it. *cracks knuckles* Here we go! Ooh, Tehol grabbed Dominic Brown! Wow, he must be expecting a bounce back, or Dominic Brown is his daddy. Like a teamster painter, I’m leaning on the latter. Damn, Rappin’ Ralph grabbed Benintendi, Manuel Margot, and Roman Quinn? Rookies are his ‘Bud Fox’s Bluestar.’ Oh my God, Rudy grabbed three catchers! (I had an advantage predicting this one, because I knew Rudy was autodrafting due to a family obligation.) Jay grabbed Chase Headley with the 5th round pick and R.A. Dickey in the 7th! In the chatroom, Malamoney asked how many points a home run gets in this league? Yes, of course, he did! JB drafted Joe Ross, then called me on speakerphone from an internet cafe where WHERE ARE YOU NOW?! is playing. MattTruss drafted…Actually I don’t know what Truss will do, which has me worried. Stupid wild cards! And, of course, I drafted Rougned Odor. Boy, that was a fun draft, and Tehol only timed out on his picks three times trying to get his Periscope thing to work. *reading back what I wrote after the draft* Well, I got the Odor part right. Anyway, here’s my thoughts on our RCL draft, it’s a 12-team, mixed league:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Before we jump right into this draft recap, let’s go over a little bit of background about the league and its details. This isn’t like the typical RCL 5×5 rotisserie league we often talk about in this space. LOEG is a 10×10 head-to-head keeper league, with 10 teams and four keepers per team from year to year. The league has been around for something like ten years and has been graced by the presence of yours truly for the past five.
Since the categories, scoring, and rules are a little different in this league I’ll break down all the details below. I think it’s important to break this down a bit first because not only do I want to bore you to death, but I want you to have all the information while you are going over the results and making fun of my team in the comments section. Anyway, here we go:
Razzball Commenter Leagues are open! Play against our contributors and your fellow readers for prizes. Join here!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Today concludes the fantasy baseball sleepers‘ portion of our program. *nudges homeless woman sleeping on my couch that I tried to get Cougs to agree to a threesome with* No more sleepers, Francine. Meh, I’ll let her rest. Like the outfielders to target, this post is necessary. You need to target the right names at the end of the draft for starters. Last year’s starters to target post included Gausman, Paxton, Velasquez, Nola, McCullers and Rich Hill. All guys who this year are in my top 40 starters. This year…the world! Well, not the world, just some starters. As with other target posts, these guys are being drafted after the top 200 overall. Anyway, here’s some starters to target for 2017 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Just finished my first draft if you’re reading this as I type it, and other than one shirtless man in yellow sweatpants standing behind me in this internet cafe, I don’t think anyone’s reading this as I type it. Unless, of course, there’s micronauts living inside my brain watching as my inner monologue is sending info to my fingers. Gadzooks, I got micronauts in my brain! I wonder if these micronauts made me draft Eric Thames. I need to delve deeper into this subject. Maybe I will in my pastel journal that is covered in Giancarlo’s picture from ESPN’s nude magazine. So, I took on the monsters of the industry in an NL Only league that was hosted by Scott White of CBS and I came away with a team that is more imbalanced than Amanda Bynes. This league is deep so hold onto ye old hat. (If you want a shallower league, play against me and hundreds of your closest buddies in the Razzball Commenter Leagues. Please be a commissioner, we need leagues, thank you, and Oxford comma.) Anyway, here’s my 12-team NL-Only team and some thoughts:Please, blog, may I have some more?
It took us a few weeks, but we have arrived at the finale. We can finally wrap up the Couch Managers 2017 Industry Mock Draft recaps. It feels like just yesterday I was getting started on what was likely to be a 60,000-word article on all 23 rounds of this mock draft before Grey slapped me and told me to put down the bourbon and split this into multiple posts. Below, I’ll be posting the results of rounds 19-23, my thoughts on said results, and the final team for every owner.
In case you have yet to see my previous posts, here is a quick recap of the league rules for this mock:
This mock was for a 15-team, 5×5 roto, with 23 roster spots made up of 9 pitchers (9), 1 spot for each position (8), a second catcher (1), 2 more outfielders (2), one corner infielder (1), one middle infielder (1), and one utility position (1).
Links to previous recaps:
Now, let’s get rounds 19-23 out of the way so that we can get to the good stuff!Please, blog, may I have some more?
One quick note, our War Room guy from last year has dropped out, so if you guys (maybe four girls) want a War Room this year, someone needs to step up to make it happen. I will take ready, willing and abled-bodied people in the comments. Oh, who are we kidding, no one here is able-bodied! I’ll take anyone, just comment and I’ll contact you. This is for the downloadable Excel War Room. Any hoo! With the top 80 starters for 2017 fantasy baseball, we are so close to the end of the rankings I can almost taste it! Wait, that’s not rankings I taste, I bit my lip and it’s blood. I wonder if when Dracula bites his lip it’s like when Cougs goes out with her friends and I’m left at home while Emmanuelle is on Cinemax. You might say to yourself, “Self, everyone is totally fooled by my toupee and do I really need to draft starters this deep in my friendly 12-team mixed league?” You don’t, except you will own guys from this post this year either from the draft or from waivers or your leaguemates will own them and beat you. Last year, in the tier of pitchers I liked in the top 80 starters was Aaron Sanchez (pitcher, not chef), Rich Hill (pitcher, not sniglets) and Tanner Roark (pitcher, not Tattoo’s boss). If you owned just them, you had a 2.74 ERA in 512 1/3 IP. You really still think you need starters drafted early? You throw in two earlier starters, say, Kluber and Gausman, and you have way too much pitching now. I’ll go over exactly how to draft starters in a few days, but there are so many ways to skin a cat we should have PETA breathing down our necks. All the 2017 fantasy baseball rankings are there. My tiers and projections are noted. Anyway, here’s the top 80 starters for 2017 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Greetings, friends. I hopped over to the football side of things once last year’s baseball season ended, but now I’m back. And apparently, I am such a disturbed individual that I am doing fantasy baseball mock drafts in early January. And, I am writing about them. And, well, I just wanted to start another sentence with and because it feels so wrong but so right at the same time. Anyway, moving on.
I was fortunate enough to be invited to the Couch Managers 2017 Industry Mock Draft, and we’re going to recap it here. This mock was for a 15-team, 5×5 roto, with 23 roster spots made up of 9 pitchers (9), 1 spot for each position (8), a second catcher (1), 2 more outfielders (2), one corner infielder (1), one middle infielder (1), and one utility position (1). As long as I did that math correctly, that is 23 spots.
Below, I will provide the results for the first six rounds and a give my thoughts for each round. I’ll do the same for rounds 7-12, 13-18, and 19-23 in subsequent posts. I’ll try to keep it brief. All we really care about are the results here, right? Feel free to tell me how awesome or crappy you think my team is, along with what you think were the best and worst picks of the draft or the different rounds…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Imagine the Cubs decided to use Lester, Hendricks, Hammel and Lackey in the playoffs, and not Jake Arrieta. Not sure it would be the wrong move either. Arrieta isn’t just out of gas, he’s on a late-70s gas station line, cursing Jimmy Carter. He’s eaten six Chalupas and a Pintos ‘n Cheese from Taco Bell, washed it down with a 16-ounce Coke, and can’t produce any gas. He’s staying at a Marriott in Saudi Arabia where OPEC is meeting and all hotel guests get a complimentary barrel of petroleum and Arrieta can’t produce any gas. Yesterday, Arrieta went 5 IP, 7 ER and his ERA went up to 3.10. About five months ago, I said Arrieta doesn’t look right. I said it around the time of his no-hitter. That took some pants grapes. What’s funny (not funny) when you’re super early at calling something out, people write you off as cuckoo in the coconut. On April 29th, I said, “It’s hard to find a positive when you take this year’s numbers vs. last year’s (of Arrieta). Velocity is down, K-rate is down, walk rate is up, xFIP is up, luck is up, homers are up, ground balls are down and fly balls are up. It’s like looking under a Maserati’s hood and seeing a Mercedes engine. It’s not bad, but it’s not a Maserati.” And that’s me quoting me! On May 9th, I said, “Not to sound like a broken record, but his peripherals just haven’t been as good as last year thus far.” And that’s me quoting me sounding like a broken record! I continued to say more or less the same for a few months, then SUDDENLY everyone else started saying it. For 2017, I picture Arrieta being drafted a lot like Felix Hernandez in the preseason this year. People are concerned, but he’s so good, they’re still drafting Arrieta around 60th overall. Yeah, and it won’t work out either. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Monday Night Football is kicking off tonight, so the smart money is going to be on the baseball side. I love the NFL, but for tonight let’s Fuhgeddaboudit and focus on the easy money. I know Mike Foltynewicz, $9,600 isn’t Italian, but if I was in a pinch and needed someone to whack a lineup, I’d feel confident I could call on Folty to get it done tonight. He’s at home facing the Marlins who have dropped 6 of their last 9 games and he looks like he solved the control issues that plagued him earlier this season, as he’s only walked 7 over his last 5 starts. Not only has he limited his walks, but he’s also missing bats with 31 Ks over the last 30 innings. Hotlanta has been pretty cold as of late, but I think they’ll turn things around against Andrew Cashner and help our boy Folty to a W. I’m going to be pairing Folty with my old pal Puke Soup aka, Jeff Samardzija, $10,600 vs our favorite Monday night opponent, the San Diego Padres. I know he’s been inconsistent all season, but I love the home matchup and there’s something about seeing all those jumbled letters in my lineup that makes sense tonight. It’s definitely a risky play, but he threw a gem in Colorado on Tuesday going 7 innings with 9 Ks and 1 ER. Now that we’ve rostered the best Scrabble duo ever in DraftKings history let’s take a look at who we can matchup on the offensive side.
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run today to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.Please, blog, may I have some more?