Fantasy Baseball Advice

Up Goes Frazier! Up Goes Frazier!

May 17, 2012 By: Grey Category: Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes 567 Comments →

Todd Frazier went deep twice yesterday.  When asked the other day if Frazier would play, Dusty Baker said, “It could be (Miguel) Cairo.  I’ve got an idea what guys’ strengths and weaknesses are… We’ll see. It’s up to Frazier.   Okay, who switched out my mint toothpicks with splinters!  You know my T-picks kill the skunk breath!”  Todd Frazier is a damn fine specimen of underachieving-could-easily-be-achieving-if-he-starts-hitting prospect hitting nom-nom.  In the minors last year, he had 15 homers and 17 steals, year before 17/14, year before he helped pen Richard Marx’s foray into romance novels, “Hold Onto The Knights.”  What can’t he do!?  Not sure if that’s rhetorical, but I’ll answer.  I’m not sure he can hit for an average over .240 in the long run.  There’s a chance Rolen gets Wally Pipp’d even if he returns healthy and that ‘if’ is the size of Hasselhoff’s ego.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Aroldis Chapman – 1 IP, 0 ER, 2 Ks.  ERA is at 0.00, WHIP is at 0.57.  Dusty Baker said yesterday that the plan is for Aroldis to start someday.  That reminds me of a sentence I read recently in Scientific American, “Because of natural evolution patterns, it’s conceivable that pigs will fly someday.”

Vance Worley – Placed on the DL.  Went from a match-ups pitcher who could get lit to having an inflamed elbow.  Call the fire department!

Clay Buchholz – 5 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks to lower his ERA to 7.77.  He looked fine yesterday, but, no kidding, I can’t believe he’s still in the rotation.  Like for real, or “Pho Real” if we’re going by the name of my Vietnamese restaurant that I’m minority owner of.  Last time I write up a bucket list drunk.

Daisuke Matsuzaka – Bobby Valentine said he’s not close to returning.  Red Sox fans exhaled.

Chase Utley – Yesterday, he took grounders.  Phillie fans inhaled.

Hiroki Kuroda – 5 IP, 7 ER.  Yankee fans burped.

Ivan Nova – Set for a bullpen session tomorrow.  Pop the champagne.  Super, Nova.

Fernando Rodney – Notched his 12th save and lowered his ERA to 0.48.  I’m guessing the Devil wouldn’t make any deals with him while he was on the Angels.

Carlos Ruiz – 2-for-4, 3 runs, 1 RBI and his 7th homer.  Hannah, so far and away the Phils best hitter so far, Hannah.  <–Almost palindrome!

Freddy Galvis – 2-for-4, with a run and an RBI.  He’s hitting near .400 over the last week and… nothing.  It’s good to see him hitting, but he could steal some bases (23 steals last year in the minors).  Somebody put Hot Stuff on his feet.

Alfonso Soriano – Before I even say it, I regret it.  I So-rue-iano.  Yet, he did hit his 2nd homer in as many games yesterday.

Clayton Richard – 7 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 6 Ks.  Hodgepadre!

Chase Headley – 2-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 5th homer.  Truly a breakout year, which correlates to around 16 homers and a .265 average.  The mouth on the left side of the screen says, “Yawn.”  The mouth on the right side of the screen says, “stipating.”

Jose Valverde – Tigers are saying Valverde should be back by this weekend.  If you own Valverde, I’m not sure if that’s good news.  The Tigers are saying Benoit could see saves, but it might also go based on match-ups.  Benoit made me think of the WWF, which made me think of Words With Friends.  I’m surprised the World Wildlife Federation hasn’t made them change the name to Words With Pals or Words With Entertainment.

Austin Jackson – Left yesterday’s game with an abdominal strain.  He might get a precautionary MRI, and we know how well those turn out!

Carlos Quentin – Rehab assignment was shutdown as he needed a cortisone shot.  2008 called and said Carlos Quentin’s stats are being erased; they’re all lies.

Jason Bay – He’s about two weeks away from returning.  Yay.  Put the ‘Get Well Soon’ balloons on order.

Alex Presley – Has left the building.  He had the full-time job, but he Mr. Bungled it and is off to the minors.  Mr. Bungled it so bad the Pirates are turning to McLousy or Yamaico Navarro.  Navarro got the start yesterday and went 0-for-2, and was lifted for a pinch hitter.  In the minors, Navarro showed light power (10-ish homers) and light steals (12-ish).  He does have 3rd base eligibility in Yahoo and ESPN, but outside of leagues that only play Pirate players, I’d hold for now.  And in those leagues, who’s your 2nd draft pick?  Jose Tabata?  Do you reach for Hanrahan?

Brett Lawrie – Suspended only 4 games, but plans to appeal.  I’d love to hear the preliminary appeal discussion with his attorney.  Attorney talking to Lawrie, “We can either go with your frustration was stemming from the egregious strike calls made by Bill Miller.  Or we can go with a skinny guy in the front row was casting a shadow that made it look like there was a hat rack on the ground.”  Lawrie, “I think I can put a hashtag on that second reason.”  “Done and done!”

Colby Rasmus – 0-for-4 with 4 high fives to Bautista, Arencibia, Johnson and Encarnacion, who all homered.  I think Rasmus also worked in a fist pump to Thames, who doubled.

Kyle Drabek – 7 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks vs. the Yankees.  This is coming off a 4 1/3 IP, 3 ER effort vs. the Twins and 5 IP, 5 ER against the Angels, who just fired their hitting coach.  Kyle Drabek:  I Make Smart Money Look Stupid.

Wilson Betemit – 2-for-7 with his 6th homer.  Is Betemit available to teach Ryan Zimmerman how to hit?  Cause that would be helpful.

Omar Infante – 3-for-5 with two steals as he bats .336.  Omar’s coming yo!

Mike Minor – 4 2/3 IP, 6 ER.  Not sure if I’ve verbalized it, um, writing, but this Minor shizz has got to be off your team until further notice.  You know how they have obits written ahead of time for celebrities?  Atlanta reporters have the tweet “Mike Minors” ready to go.

Ubaldo Jimenez - 6 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks to lower his ERA to 5.09.  Matthew Berry likes him as a buy low.

Dustin Ackley – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer.  Hey, his bats finally got back from Japan!

Michael Saunders – 2-for-3 with his 5th steal, which he dedicated to his dad, the Colonel.

Melky Cabrera – Scratched with a sore left toe.  He’s day-to-day, or at least that’s what the aliens told me who read his mind despite his best efforts to stop them.

Corey Hart – 1-for-3 with his 8th homer.  Surprised to see him in some comments as a guy people can pick up.  I’m assuming these leagues are shallow, but, as they said in 14th century China, assuming makes an ass outta of you and Ming.  To answer, yeah, he should be owned, especially now because he usually goes on tears.

Brian Dozier – 1-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer in four games, while hitting .286.  Okay, I’m talking him up solely because I dropped Cozart for Dozier.  Hopefully, things stay rozier.

Trevor Plouffe – 1-for-5 with his 2nd homer.  The Eskimos have a name for the sound of crap hitting the toilet water, it’s Plouffe.

Justin Morneau – He was activated from the DL and went 1-for-5.  It’s like he never left!

Ryan Doumit – To the DL for three weeks with a strained calf.  What an odd thing to find in a colander.

Josh Willingham – 3-for-5, 2 runs and 1 RBI as the Twins scored 11 runs.   My fact checking monkey tells me the Twins didn’t carry over this whole year’s worth of runs.

Felix Hernandez – 3 2/3 IP, 6 ER vs. the Indians.  F-Her, you should be embarrassed.  Luckily, I didn’t use the thesaurus for synonyms for embarrassed.  The Native American Anti-Defamation League has enough to deal with.

Bud Norris – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 9 Ks.  I think he might be the unofficial winner of the most comments on whether or not people should pick him up.  Yeah, this Bud’s for you.

Carlos Lee – 3-for-4 with his 3rd homer, now hitting near .400 over the last week.  Ugh, first Alfonso Soriano, now Carlos Lee.  Kick me in the ass and call me Murray Chass.

Andy Dirks – 3-for-4, 2 runs and 1 RBI.  Hitting .370 out of the 2 hole.  Plouffe!

Eric Hosmer – 0-for-7.  Maybe he can work the count into something favorable then they can put in Mitch Maier.

Felipe Paulino – 7 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 9 Ks.  He’s kinda put together three solid starts (his 2nd one vs. the White Sox was a bit of bad luck).  His K-rate has always been solid, but his walk rate losses sight of the strike zone sometimes.  So far, he’s been in control.  The 1-something ERA won’t stay there, but he could be what you thought you were getting from Filthy Sanchez this year (not what you actually got).

Krispie Young – Hit a grand slam in his rehab game.  It was shirts vs. I sold my shirt for blow.  *checking notes*  Nope, different type of rehab.

Albert Pujols – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer to tie Gordon Beckham for 217th best in baseball!

Adam LaRoche – 3-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 7th homer.  LaRoche has 29 RBIs and is hitting .339.  Yesterday, Hosmer pooped twice.

Wilson Ramos – Going for ACL surgery in 2-3 weeks and won’t be back this year.  Bernie Williams, “I’d love to play my guitar at the opening of the ACL!”

Ian Desmond – 1-for-4 with his 5th homer.  He’s hitting around .330 over the last week with 2 steals.  Shine on you crazy Desmond!

Henry Rodriguez – Got the save yesterday even after Desmond E’d a guy onto base.  HanK-Rod still mowed them down, showing no signs of his recent failings.  I realized something watching him.  He’s Charlie Sheen in Major League (or real life).  His stuff is insane, and he can’t control it.

Michael Morse – Made throws yesterday for the first time in several weeks.  He said, “I haven’t been throwing, so it was kind of like a monkey riding a bike.”  That sounds awesome!  I wanna see him throwing through flaming hula hoops while balancing on a seal’s nose!  Please!

RCL Roundup: May 7

May 07, 2012 By: VinWins Category: Our Leagues 10 Comments →

Achilles (Tennessee Mash – RCL 25) held on to the lead with 109 points while Navseal 7 in the tough RCL 9 rocketed up to 2nd with 106. AdamH (Sleeve of Wizard – RCL 43) is 3rd at 104, followed by Pig Charmer (Grunge Ball – RCL 16), Simply fred (The Fredsies – ECFBL), and Bill Hodgeman (Team Hodgeman – Toads n Wet Rocks) with 102 points. Check out the Master Standings to see where you rank.

We have tweaked the Competitive Index formula in an attempt to balance the problem of abandoned teams, which will become more prevalent as the season progresses. The bottom 2 numbers in each statistical category are now dropped in the index calculation. Of course, there is no perfect way to compare 48 leagues, but we feel this will give us the best results for a fair and fun competition. RCL 9 continues to set the pace with a strong LCI of 105. Schmohawk in Training is right behind at 104.

With the first month of the season completed, I checked back to the drafts to see who had the best results. No team drafting first overall finished April in first place. The only other draft slot where this occurred was #12. 8 teams drafting 9th sat in first place after 1 month. While only 1 team that drafted Miguel Cabrera was leading their league, 16 teams that took Matt Kemp sat atop the standings. Of the 6 teams that drafted a pitcher in round 1, Team Hill (Go Big or Go Home) had the best April result, sitting in 5th place after taking Roy Halladay with the 11th pick.

There were 28 trades this week, bringing the total for the year to 79. Albert Pujols was traded 3 times, but his owners weren’t letting him go cheap. He was dealt for Joey Votto in Beef SAGNOF!, Prince Fielder in RCL 16, and Dan Uggla and Alex Rodriguez in RCL 9. In a move that should pay big dividends, The Fugs (Epic Beardmen Division) acquired Yovani Gallardo for Henry Rodriguez. In the search for saves, Trevor Cahill was traded for Francisco Cordero; Brandon McCarthy for Jonathan Broxton; Dan Uggla for Jonathan Papelbon; Ian Kennedy for Fernando Rodney; Cameron Maybin for Jim Johnson; Bryce Harper for Addison Reed; and Ted Lilly for Sean Marshall. In RCL 29, Gio Gonzalez was dealt for Chris Perez and Santiago Casilla. Also traded this week were Miguel Cabrera, Robonson Cano, Stephen Strasburg, Ian Kinsler, and Giancarlo Stanton. You can find all the trades listed in the Fantasy Baseball Forums. Look for the RCL under “Everything Else.”

Mastersball Carey (Ryan Carey) continues to lead the Expert League by 9.5 points, but there is a tight battle behind him as only 7.5 points separate 2nd and 8th. Rudy and Grey are in this group, in 3rd and 4th respectively. Both have much better pitching than hitting numbers. Grey is last in average (.250) and has just 18 hitting points, compared to 53.5 pitching points. For Rudy, pitching dominates 51.5 – 21.5.

Weekly Leaders

Chuck Norris (The Fuzz – Schmohawk in Training) had the top hitting team, finishing at .289 with 59 runs, 17 home runs, 64 RBI, and 9 steals. While Nelson Cruz was hitting .115, the likes of Jason Kipnis and Pedro Alvarez helped carry the load. Starlin Castro and Carlos Gonzalez also had great weeks. Oh my Crawford (RCL 29) led in pitching with 8 wins and 7 saves, along with fine ratios of 2.22 and 0.94. Felix Hernandez, Mark Buehrle, and CC Sabathia paced the staff.

Average: .345 (All I Do is Nguyen    - RCL 25)
Runs: 60 (DJ Roomba – Fausto or Roberto?)
HR: 20 (Fastballs At Ridgemont High – Schmohawk in Training)
RBI: 64 (The Fuzz – Schmohawk in Training)
SB: 16 (Team Little – The Dread Pirate Returns)
Ks: 86 (BG Nitros – RCL 40)
Wins: 10 (seward bellman – RCL 16)
Saves: 9 (Team Juiced – RCL 4, # Thanzig – Myrtle’s Acres, Good Wood – RCL 40)
ERA: 0.81 (The Oh No No’s – RCL 41)
WHIP: 0.69 (Kenny Effin’ Powers AllStars – RCL 44)

RCL Logo
TEAM OF THE WEEK – April 30 – May 6
Navseal 7 (RCL 9)
90/303 (.297)
59R/17 HR/60 RBI/7 SB
71 IP
69K/4 W/2.41/0.90/3 S
Navseal 7 jumped from 80.5 to 101 points in RCL 9 this week, stretching their lead to 29 points. Chipper Jones (.429/7 Runs/2 HR/9 RBI) and Carlos Gonzalez (.391/6 Runs/3 HR/9 RBI/1 SB) were the offensive leaders, while Adam Dunn contributed 4 home runs and hit .318. Felix Hernandez picked up a win and 18 strikeouts, with an ERA of 0.56 and 0.75 WHIP. David Price won his lone start and struck out 8. He allowed 1 run and 4 baserunners in 8 innings. Jonathan Papelbon added a couple of saves.

Fantasy Stalker Diary – Part 201

May 06, 2012 By: Awesomus Maximus Category: 2012 Fantasy Baseball 10 Comments →

I already explained what this series of entries is about in last week’s article. If there’s one thing we stalkers hate, it’s locked doors… but if there’s another thing we hate, it’s paper shredders. My point is, somewhere on that list of things we hate is having to explain ourselves, so click that link if you have no idea what’s going on here. And if you still have no idea what’s going on after that, stop by Grey’s Buy/Sell and ask him why he’s publishing this nonsense.

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02/26/2012 – People are paying Bunny Ranch prices for Stephen Strasburg in my mock drafts; I’m not. Sure, I wouldn’t mind the experience, but I think I can get something similar for the cost of a few drinks instead of a week’s paycheck.

04/17/2012 – St. Rasburg, the patron saint of ticket scalpers (which is just a step above being the patron saint of beggars), has kinda’ been living up to the hype. 3 ER, 19 K, and 2 W from 19 IP over 3 starts. Yeah, it was against the Cubs, Mets, and Astros, which is a pretty weak sample, but there’s no need to be a doubting Thomas.

04/29/2012 – I was just looking at Strasburg’s WHIP, but then I was about to sneeze and I think I inhaled the tiny thing. His ERA must’ve blown off my desk when I sneezed, too. Wait, is that it? No, that’s his FIP… they look very similar. I’m using his K/9 to hold my car up while I change the oil, so I don’t really have access to any of his stats right now, but I’m pretty sure he’s pitching alright.

05/03/2012 – Okay, I’m looking over the Razzball Player Rater right now and it’s telling me that St. Rasburg is better than… hmm… Halladay, Kershaw, F-Her… pretty much everyone I would have drafted ahead of him… except Verlander – There Can Be Only One. Random thought – I’d like to see a Razzball Player Hater, where commenters get one vote per week on which player they most wish they didn’t draft.

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02/25/2012 – I only have enough auction money for one new import, and I believe Cespedeseses’ hype more than Yu Darvish’s. Luckily I don’t care for the possessive form of either’s surname, which will help me rationalize stealing possessions from their respective trash bins. I’m probably biased because of something silly… like the failures of so many Japanese aces compared to the relative success of imported sluggers.

04/09/2012 – Darvish looked absolutely filthy today, but I’m sure it’s nothing a shower and hair cut can’t fix. His pitching, on the other hand, was awful (maybe he shouldn’t be pitching with his other hand). 5 2/3 IP, 5 ER, 12 base runners (4 BB) and only 5 Ks. “Yu ruined my ratios!” That’s you talking to Yu through yur computer. It’s not me… ‘cause I didn’t draft him, suckers!

04/24/2012 – Good thing I’m a brilliant writer, because it seems like I’ll be dining on my words for some time. I’m watching Darvish make the Yankees look stupid as I write this. Damn, did he just pull 97 MPH out for the first time today… in the 7th inning? That’s one hell of a sneak attack. Hmm… can’t think of any jokes that tie “Japanese” and “sneak attack” together right now.

04/31/2012 Oy vey, Yu. Doode just keeps lowering his ERA (from 7.94 to 2.18) and raising his K-rate (now an even 9.00). Hulky Crystal says, “YU LOOK MARVELOUS!”

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02/02/2012 – Grey likes Tim Lincecum this year… a lot. Ranked him as the #5 SP overall, which I find surprising. I mean, Grey even talks about all of Timmy’s downside (“falling K-rate,” “burgeoning walk rate,” “highest xFIP since his rookie year”) in the blurb, so he must be A.) hedging his bets B.) slightly blinded by the brand C.) “C” is usually a placeholder to catch people guessing D.) not all that impressed with the rest of the Top 20.

04/12/2012 – Lincecum with 11 ER in 7 2/3 IP. That’s not good, right? Does it help that this was over two starts, not in one? He had 10 Ks… that’s something. C’mon, a good buddy paid $37 at auction for Timmy; I’m scrambling for anything positive to scream up to the ledge.

04/17/2012 – Wow… another 5 earned in 6 innings for Lincecum. It’s good that the Ks are there (6 more). It’s good that he lowered his ERA… no, wait, it’s not good when an outing like this lowers your ERA. Maybe the Giants should start paying him with dollar bills placed in front of him on the mound. Just a thought.

04/24/2012 – Only 1 ER over 5 IP. Look at Tiny Tim threatening to bust out a quality start! Yeah, let’s just ignore those 5 free passes and focus on the 8 Ks. Serenity now!

04/29/2012 – Looks like Timmy will finish April with a… passable 5.74 ERA. It’s really only “passable” if you’re comparing it to the 12.91 he was rockin’ a few weeks back. The 2.52 differential between his FIP and ERA probably makes it a bit more palatable. The fact that he hasn’t given up a dinger since his first start is nice. Also, I hear there’s been some incredible advancements in the toupee industry of late. Things are looking up!

2012 Baseball Predictions

April 04, 2012 By: Grey / Rudy Category: Y to Z 307 Comments →

Now’s the time when we put all of our 2012 baseball predictions in one place.  Then in October we can look back at this and laugh.  Oh, and we will laugh.  Big, bellowing, seat of your pants laughs. Hindsight is indeed 20/20.  But where’s the harm in setting ourselves to look like jackasses?  We run a fantasy baseball blog, after all.  Grey’s picks in RED. Rudy’s picks in BLUE. (For what it’s Wuertz, last year Grey was two games away from predicting the World Series and he did predict the AL Rookie of the Year, NL Cy Young and NL MVP.  Take my man to Vegas!)  Anyway, here’s our predictions for baseball’s post-season awards and whatnot:

AL Pennant WinnerLos Angeles Angels of Not Really Los Angeles – I hate to go with the obvious… That’s why I’m not choosing anyone from the AL East.

AL Pennant WinnerTexas Rangers – I live 20 minutes from their AAA stadium.  Hoping this gets me free tacos for the year.

NL Pennant WinnerCincinnati Reds – Dusty will once again face his nemesis Pujols in a series touted as, The Toothpick vs. The Hispanic Splinter.

NL Pennant WinnerPhiladelphia Phillies - As long as the three aces stay healthy, I think the Phillies are the favorite even if their lineup went in the dumper.

World Series ChampionReds – An added prediction:  Game five of the series and Mike Leake’s arm will fall off from overuse.  Only this will turn out to be a blessing because after the Reds gave Votto $200 million dollars, they’ll have no money for bats, so Votto will use Leake’s arm to bat with and homer.

World Series ChampionTexas Rangers – Free tacos!

AL ROYYu Darvish – I almost put Jesus Montero, but history tells us that imported pitchers do well their first year and if we ignore that we’re doomed to repeat it… But, I guess, I’m not ignoring it.  Either way, it’s a three-way fight for AL ROY this year (with Moore too).

AL ROYYu Darvish – It’s ridiculous that players in overseas pro leagues still qualify for this award.  Otherwise, I’d say Matt Moore.

NL ROYZack Cozart – This is my only prediction that I’m picking with my fantasy heart and not real baseball one.  I really want Cozart to do well.

NL ROYMat Gamel - Not really enamored with NL rookies this year.  I like Mesoraco and Rosario, but I don’t think they get enough playing time.  Can’t pick Cozart because it’ll only exacerbate Grey’s man crush.  Gamel’s evidently not a rookie so Yonder Alonso.  

AL Cy YoungFelix Hernandez – Last year, he was better than he was in his Cy Young year without the good fortune.  Here’s to F-Her getting lucky again!

AL Cy YoungJon Lester - Fried chicken and beer for everyone!

NL Cy YoungZack Greinke – I’ll admit to wanting to pick Kershaw again, but there’s no fun in that.

NL Cy YoungZack Greinke - Miffed I only got him in one league….but it’s the RCL!

AL MVPEvan Longoria – I made this prediction back in January and I’m gonna stand by it.  Okay, sit.  It’s a long season.

AL MVPRobinson Cano - I like Grey’s choice – particularly since he’s on a lot of our teams.  There are so many good 1Bs in the AL so it’ll be hard to pick one for MVP.

NL MVPJoey Votto – And on a cloud made of chili in the skyline of Cincy, Marge Schott’s ghost and the ghost of Joe Morgan’s broadcasting career will be smiling down.

NL MVPHanley Ramirez - Guillen and Hanley will be besties this year, Hanley gets a big extension, and then regresses again.

Now put your picks in the comments and we’ll look back on this in October and mock each other.

Unhappy Days For Farnsy’s Arm

April 04, 2012 By: Grey Category: Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes 193 Comments →

Kyle Farnsworth is headed to the DL.  You know who called this one?  No one.  Geez, closers are dropping like it’s hot and they’re from the North Pole and can’t handle the heat.  Hmm, that wasn’t so pithy.  In the last week, we’ve lost Madson, Storen, Andrew Bailey, Frank Francisco.  Though we got back Frank Francisco, Jon Rauch, Bobby Parnell, Lidge, Henry Rodriguez, Sean Marshall, Melancon, Aceves, Joel Peralta, Jake McGee, J.P. Howell and Fernando Rodney.  It’s like a two-for-one trade-in deal where you give in a Rolls Royce and get back two doodie bubbles.  “Doctor, my closers are all in the red!”  “I don’t know if I can help.  I’m just a doctor who studied at Harvard Medical School and was a Rhodes Scholar and other important scholarly pursuits.  I’m not Grey Albright, Fantasy Master Lothario.  Or FML.”  That’s a convo I overheard recently.  For saves, tell Aetna that you want me.  The shituation in Tampa Bay is pretty murky, but it sounds like Farnsworth is gonna miss a lot of time.  The issues he’s having he had last September.  You don’t usually go six months with recurring elbow pain as a pitcher, unless your name is Joey Devine.  Peralta would be my first grab, in the non-sexual way.  He had saves last year in Farnsy’s absence; he should get saves this year.  My second grab would be Lovey and Thurston Howell’s son, J.P.  He could see the majority of the situational saves since he’s a lefty.  Then I’d grab Jake McGee because he’s the closer of the future and he has a cool name.  Sounds like a character Mel Gibson would’ve played back in the early 90′s before he hated Jews and sobriety.  Finally, I could see Fernando Rodney sneaking into the save picture because he has that ever elusive closer experience, but his experience is rotten with stank, so I wouldn’t grab him.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in spring training for 2012 fantasy baseball:

Sike!  Before we get into the roundup, just wanted to announce the 4th podcast in the (greater than 3) series.  During this podcast, the winner of our theme song contest is announced.  The winner should comment with their contact info.  Anyway II, here’s the podcast and roundup:

Download from iTunes

Download directly the Razzball Podcast.

Frank Francisco – Will be fine for Opening Day, according to the Mets doctors.  Damn, almost said that with a straight face.  No, seriously, he should be fine… Dah!  Again, I tried.  Do with that info what you will.  Let’s just say, I would’ve dropped Parnell or Rauch for Peralta or Melancon, but I wouldn’t drop the Mets set-up men just for s’s and g’s.

Andrew Bailey – Headed for surgery as Bailey’s Party of Five fingers received terrible news.  He’ll be out for 3 to 4 months, at least.  I’d add Melancon and Aceves, in that order.  For more, click –> Andrew Bailey fantasy or scroll down.  No, your other down.

Drew Storen – Hmm… This is just all closer news all the time here, huh?  Sounds like Storen should be fine by mid-April, but I’ll believe it when I see him record five saves in a row.  Sorry, I’m a cynic.

John Lannan – This is funny to me, and by that I mean not really funny, all spring the Nats were trying to trade Lannan.  They didn’t find any takers — shocker! — so they said they would put him in their rotation.  Now they optioned him to the minors.  Here’s what actually went down, the Nats, “We decided we don’t want to trade Lannan, we won’t him in our rotation.”  Then thinking they shut off the mic, “Hopefully clubs will want to trade for him now that we said he’s good enough to be in our rotation.  Otherwise, I’ll just run him over with my… Wait, does this red light mean the mic is on or off?”

Jose Bautista – Has mild groin soreness, which sounds like an injury that would sideline a porn star.  Bautista should be fine for Opening Day.

Brett Cecil – Was sent down to Double-A New Hampshire, whose team motto is “Pitch Well Or Die.”

Felix Hernandez – Was throwing 89-90 MPH last week and said, “Really, it’s Spring Training, man.  I’m fine.  I was trying to be like Jamie Moyer.”  That quote makes me love F-Her.

Tsuyoshi Wada - Headed to the 15-day DL.  But I hardly Tsuyoshinoya.

Daniel Descalso – Will start at second base for the Cards on Opening Day, after Tyler Greene was announced as the starter.  I thought La Russa retired.  This is liable to be a timeshare, so whoever owns these two players will have high member fees.

Alfredo Simon – Signed by the Reds.  The Reds were excited to have a righty in their bullpen, saying, “Finally, we have someone that can murder lefties.”

Adam Dunn – Robin Ventura said he’s leaning towards Dunn in the three hole, saying, “Even though he might strike out a little bit…”  That’s like saying, “I’m going with sandpaper in the two hole even though it may scratch a bit.”