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With the world continuing to be in dumpster fire mode, I figured I’d write about things that I love. No, not my kids (although this week we learned to ride a bike without training wheels, flew a kite, lost a tooth, and watched The Sandlot for the first time – pretty epic week), but two players that I’ve fallen hard (phrasing) for – Marcell Ozuna and Nick Castellanos. Both players have similar ADPs, with Castellanos being at 83.4 and Ozuna landing at 88.6 (average ADPs from ESPN, NFBC, Yahoo, and CBS). Both players also have new homes that feature good lineups in hitters parks and the sum of the parts has my pants feeling a little tight….oh wait, that’s just the quarantine-15 that I’ve put on. Let’s dive into both players and see if we can find a clear winner.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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The Orioles are on pace to give up 1,776 home runs, because they’re close to our nation’s capital, and that is a great figure, a historic number.  A cannot be imitated — help me out here, Captain Lou Albano — never duplicated number.  Scratch that, they’re now on pace to give up 1777 home runs because of the Battle of the Assunpink Creek. That was also the title of the Pink concert when her stretch pants were a little too skimpy in the back.  “I see your Assupink Creek 2017.”  Great show, the aerobatics alone.  So, I try to avoid making every lede about hitters in Coors or facing the Orioles, but here goes, because Gleyber Torres has 14 homers against the O’s in five games and 12 homers on the year.  There’s math involved in that number.  He went 2-for-5 with his 11th and 12th homers.  Next up, literally, Brett Gardner (3-for-4, 1 run) hit more doubles than the sketchy guy at the craps table who kept betting the horn and looking over his shoulder.  DJ LeMahieu (2-for-4, 2 RBIs, HR) was on the ones and twos, but mostly on the ones, since he hit leadoff and his 4th homer.  Gary Sanchez (2-for-4) hit his 15th long ball and don’t mention hitting balls around Gary, he crosses his legs.  Then there’s Thairo (2-for-4, 2 RBIs, HR), who should be on the Iron Throne, but that’s a hot internet take, and I’m here for cold ones, but he even has three homers because Our Commissioner Manfred sticks Capri Sun straws into balls and juices them up.  If you learn nothing else from this post, and you might not, stream all hitters vs. the Orioles.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The trade of Yasiel Puig, Matt Kemp, Alex Wood to the Reds means one thing, the Dodgers are signing Manny Machado or Bryce Harper.  I’m kidding, in the non-funny way.  Maybe it means that, but I kinda hope it doesn’t, so Muncy, Pederson and others have room to play.  Not sure why the Dodgers rehired Dave Roberts, but I’m impressed the Dodgers realized that Dave Roberts had zero capacity for managing a team.  “What’s he doing?”  “I don’t know.”  That’s two Dodgers execs watching Dave Roberts juggle three VHS copies of the movie Platoon.  “I don’t think he understands what we meant when we asked him to juggle platoons.”  “Yeah.”  “So, we should trade Puig?”  “Maybe trade like five guys.”  “Okay.”  So, Puig goes back to the Reds, but they’re no longer an island nation in the Caribbean.  Now, they’re in Ohio.  In five years, people will be like, “I forgot Puig played for the Reds for three months.”  Yes, I think he’ll likely be traded in July.  Either way, he will get everyday at-bats and should get a nice boost in fantasy value.  The Reds were surprising solid last year on offense, and I see no reason why that would end.  For 2019, I’ll give Yasiel Puig projections 73/27/83/.273/11 in 502 ABs.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason in 2019 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Why do I keep hearing in my head Deniece Williams?   “Let’s hear it for the boy!  Let’s give that ball a hand!”  Am I the only one hearing that?  Recently, Jameson Taillon mentioned that he always smells the ball before playing catch.  What is with guys smelling balls?  Don’t pretend I’m the only one!  Is that a carryover from our gorilla days?  I’m like John Scopes with a monocle!  Speaking of evolution, I was recently thinking about how we’ve managed to stand upright, but thousands of years and we’re not using our feet as hands yet?  Like you wouldn’t take three hands and hop on one leg all day, please.  Any hoo!  Jameson Taillon threw a gem yesterday — 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 3.24.  I’m going to like him in 2019, as I’ve liked him for the last few years, but I can’t say I’m as excited about his 8 .4 K/0, 2.2 BB/9 and 3.56 xFIP as I wish I were.  His fastball velocity of 95 MPH should be producing a tad more.  I think there’s a 10 K/9 in there somewhere, but since he’s basically repeated his previous year’s stats, it’s hard to expect that much more in 2019.  Still, have to give the ball a hand!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Welcome back, baseball — oh, how I missed you! Today we’re welcomed back with a 14-game main slate on FanDuel.  I’m not sure if anyone heard the big news, but the Manny Machado rental agreement drama finally came to an end, with the slugger landing with the Dodgers. We might talk about him a little more later, but I want to focus on Baltimore.  Even with Machado, Baltimore was 7th worst in K% and 3rd worst in wOBA. Allow me to introduce to you my minimum-priced SP ($5,500), Sam Gaviglio, who faces the new Machado-less Orioles. On the season, Sammy G’s been a little up and down with a 4.58 ERA, but a 4.01 SIERA, and of the 57 innings he’s thrown this year, 30.2 have been against the Red Sox, Yankees, Braves, and Nationals.  I’m excited to see what Gaviglio can do versus an easier opponent, and at this price ($5,500), you can fit in whatever stacks you want. Let’s take a look at the rest of the slate.

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Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’ve been thinking about how great things would be right now if I’d just been restricted from drafting a handful of certain players this year. When I like a guy going into the season, it’s always tough to decide just how many shares I should stock up on, and it’s particularly painful when I overbuy in situations where the answer should have been zero. If I had been unable to place Jose Quintana, Yu Darvish, Luis Castillo, Zack Godley, Robbie Ray, Marcus Stroman, or Sonny Gray on a fantasy team in 2018, it seems like all would be right with the fantasy baseball world. Instead, I have leagues where a combination of these guys has pretty much sunk my team, and other leagues where I am doing well only in spite of having to overcome horrible (or non-existent) pitching from them.

It’s unrealistic, though, to think any fantasy team will be mistake-free, and as destructive as a few bad picks can be in a deep league, it does make acquiring a waiver-wire gem all the more sweet. I don’t know about any of these guys turning your season around, but it really is difficult to predict when the diamond in the deep-league rough will pop up — so we’ll keep plugging away with a handful of players who may be available in your NL-only, AL-only, or other deep league.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Afterthoughts on draft day, or sleepers that only the select few stick with for SAGNOF?  The realm of SAGNOF rotates around the perplexity for steals and the hotness of said player when garnering the stat.  Leonys Martin is one of those guys this week that I’ll be focusing on.  Draft season, he was an afterthought… or was he a deep sleeper?  Being drafted in the 400’s overall and basically being drafted around Lonnie Chisenhall.  Which if we are all paying attention, is good for you,  but bad in terms of name value to stat value ratio currently.  Over the last 13 games, Martin has been unleashed, scoring 12 runs, swiping 4 and slashing a very unusual Martin line of .294/.379/.647.  For someone who’s career slash line is a fraction of said mark, the small sample size for the mini-fortnight breakout is welcoming.  He was a stolen base darling… four years ago and now that he has been given a chance to shine at the top of the Tigers lineup in front of quality hitters like Castellanos and the like, is this a growing SAGNOF trend that we can buy into?  I am saying yes on the short term, long term?  We know what Leonys is.  He is a .250 hitter with questionable on-base potential that has two feet and can run effectively given time and consistency.  If he is lying around in your league on the waiver wire, give him a shot as the Tigers do score some runs and the lineup behind him has shown some decent skills at moving runners over and doing all the things needed for Martin to be successful in the short term. More SAGNOF-dom charts and tidbits after the jump!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Finally, the Rays took a cue from Fox, and started Jake Bauers‘ clock.  Here’s an updated 24:  FBI agent, breathlessly, into a phone, “The President is in danger!”  Assistant to the FBI director lowers the phone, speaks to the director, less breathlessly, “Have you tried Thai basil chicken?”  FBI director, “Basil in Thai dishes always make me think there should be tomato sauce.  Ya know, Italians have that basil thing already.”  FBI agent into the phone, breathlessly, “Did you hear me, the President’s in danger!”  FBI assistant, “Um, yeah, you’ve been on vacay, and we’re no longer taking matters of the President’s safety as seriously as much as we once did.”  I keed!  Don’t hit me with your political agenda.  So, Jake Bauers was called up to presumably play every day.  I mean, if the Rays waited this long to bring him up, they’re not doing it for a bench bat.  He’s a little bit of everything vs. a lot of one thing, which is less exciting in short-term, but could be something long-term.  His Steamer projections are yawnstipating 7/8/.238 (click his name to see projections), but I could see him being a bit closer to 9/16/.265/.345.  Not bad, not great.  Breathlessly, “He’s okay.”  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ya know, if you’re gonna get busted for PEDs and be suspended for 80 games, the way to do it is right after fracturing your hand.  It’s like coming down with mono the week of your prom when you have no date.  “Damn, am I gonna miss that?  That is too bad, but I am so drowsy I feel like I have two Forest Whitaker eyes.”  That’s you getting prom-o-mono.  I am more surprised to hear Robinson Cano was busted for PEDs, than I am to learn he had no idea he was taking the illegal substance.  Baseball is currently batting a thousand for denials of PEDs suspensions. MLB players’ denials of taking the illicit substance should get into the Hall of Fame on its first ballot.  Speaking of Hall of Fame, I kinda thought Robinson Cano was headed there.  This will obviously shade a cloud over his entire career, which I do think is a shame.  What’s also a shame, you need to drop him in all leagues.  He’s more or less done for the year.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Is it still “the beginning” of baseball season? I’m thinking no. We’re now a little more than 20% of the way into the year – still an extremely small sample size, but enough that we can see patterns starting to emerge, and it’s getting easier to evaluate fantasy teams’ strengths and weaknesses. If your team is going to have an overabundance of power or strikeouts, or will have trouble contending due to a complete lack of speed or saves, you’ve probably figured it out by now. While you don’t want to panic over poor starts by players that are still likely to turn things around and help you, there’s no reason not to be pro-active if you know your team is lacking in a certain area. Of course, this is easier said than done in a deep league, where there are few serviceable players sitting on the waiver wire, and trade partners may be hard to find since every team probably feels stretched thin and owners may not feel like they have a true surplus in any category. All the more reason to be extra vigilant about free agents, potential trade scenarios, setting your lineup properly, and anything else that can give you an edge based on the rules and parameters of your league… you don’t want tuning out for a few days in May to cost you valuable points that could make a big difference in September. For now, we do our usual: look at a handful of players that could be relevant to those livin’ the deep league life.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, Carlos Carrasco went 5 1/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 3.95.  Whew.  Luckily, Carrasco was in that tier of preseason pitchers I said not to draft.  You still drafted him?  But I said he was like a skunked can of La Croix bacon-avocado cheeseburger flavor.  *scrunches nose*  You didn’t pay attention?  Aw geez.  Why?  Not to answer but to lower your head in shame.  Since you didn’t pay attention the first time, let me say it once more so you can again ignore it, “For the first time in his career, Carrasco (Careerasco?) threw 200 IP last year.  Not bad for a 25-year-old.  Less so for Carrasco who is 31 years old.  I know, I was surprised he was that old too.  Not as surprised, as say, a cat jumping out of a closet.  They should do a Cats revival on Broadway where the whole thing is cats jumping out of closets.”  And that’s me quoting me!  K/9 and velocity stabilizes fairly quickly and, well, his rates are kinda the dog’s breakfast.  His velocity is down over a mile, and his Ks are down from 10.2 to a 8.1 K/9, and he has the highest xFIP in six years.  If this doesn’t worry you, you might be slow on the uptake.  You repeat 3rd grade?  Do you think your password on all logins is *************?  Do you eat Thai and say, ‘Now my stomach is in knots?’  We might have to get you a tutor.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

There’s nothing more frustrating in fantasy baseball than injuries to your studs, and nowhere is that magnified to the extent that it is in the deep-league world. Sure, it may not be fun or exciting having to replace Christian Yelich with Nick Markakis for a couple weeks in a standard league, but just think about how us deep-leaguers feel. I’ve got a few NL-only leagues where I need to replace some combination of Yelich, Wil Myers, and Eugenio Suarez… where the top “hitters” on the waiver wire are Greg Garcia and Mike Tauchman. I know that situations like this are why many people don’t understand the appeal of deep leagues in the first place, and I get it: I have at least one league where, due mostly to injuries (and perhaps one or two bad decisions ;), I am pretty much dead in the water for the season in the second week of April. But I shall press on, despite the fact that the free agent pool in most leagues is about as drained and ugly as it will be all year. All of the early surprise performers have been scooped up, and there hasn’t been time yet for new faces of deep-league hope to emerge. The following list isn’t pretty or snazzy, but it’s what we’ve got: a handful of names to consider for the injury-riddled — or otherwise desperate — in AL-only, NL-only, and other deep leagues.

Please, blog, may I have some more?