Steven Matz is getting the call to the majors, a day after the Mets received this call, “Earth to Mets, your season is slipping away, and stop crashing back into me.” Though, it was kinda nervy of Earth to call collect. Earth added, “Sorry, I also invested in Madoff.” Thankfully for Mets fans, the Mets accepted the charges for Earth’s call, but declined Ian Desmond’s. If you are a fan of the Mets, I’d immediately write them a strongly-worded letter to not trade for Ian Desmond. I just gave you my Steven Matz fantasy. It was written on the backside of the napkin where you wrote your phone number. Not a whole lot has changed since then, except he’s added some more wonderful to his statz (SEE WHAT I DID THERE?! Sorry, I’m using a keyboard sponsored by Marcus Semien and the keys are sticky.). Matz’s IP count is now up to 90 1/3 with a 2.19 ERA and 94 Ks. Before you scoff, you scoffer, it’s in the PCL, where they use helium balloons as baseballs. I’d absolutely grab him in all leagues. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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See all of today’s starting lineups

# MLB Starting Lineups For Sun 8/3
ARI | ATH | BAL | BOS | CHC | CHW | CLE | COL | DET | HOU | KC | LAA | LAD | MIA | MIL | MIN | NYM | NYY | PHI | PIT | SD | SEA | SF | STL | TB | TEX | TOR | WSH | ATL | CIN | OAK

Coming into the 2015 season, Ian Desmond had been the top ranked shortstop in fantasy baseball for two years in a row. He was also the only MLB player to produce three straight seasons of at least 20 home runs and 20 stolen bases from 2012 through 2014. So far this season, he’s hitting .222 with 5 homers and 2 steals through 69 games. What the heck is going on with this guy? How is it possible for the 29-year-old Desmond to morph into Danny Espinosa overnight? Was he hypnotized by the awesomeness of this mustache? It seems like as good of an explanation as any at the moment considering the greatness of that epic stache, but it won’t be much help for fantasy baseball purposes. Can we expect a return of the 20/20 stud from recent years, or is this mustache-less Espinosa clone here to stay?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Well, I guess that makes all the sense in the world, because those darn Flock of Seagulls got all in your head in the 80’s.  Then they had the nerve to be in GTA and get you all singing about running.  I don’t even run when chased anymore.  It’s a big game of “ooohhh ya got me”.  So north of the border, they do it all in groups now apparently.  That group started out as a singular to start the year, then a separate individual took over only to fail himself, then they went back to the original guy who had it out of spring.  Now they are on to a group format because I am guessing “strength in numbers” is the thing.  I think “paint by numbers” should be their next move.  So if you are scoring at home, to summarize, that is Cecil, Castro, Cecil, et. all.   Yeah, I mean if I had the offensive potential that the Blue Jays have, and they are being all fiddle and benz with the end game, I would make a move to a more permanent solution.  Don’t be cheap, I think the exchange rate is in your favor or close.  So the committee we are looking at now is a group that consists of Roberto Osuna, Steve Delabar, possibly another occasional save chance for Brett Cecil, Aaron Loup, Prime Minister Stephen Harper, Optimus Prime and any prime number.  From a rostering standpoint, I would own Osuna, Delabar, then Cecil.  If you missed out on all three, just be thankful, because it’s a mess.  But saves bring all the craziness out of people, so that’s why it’s bullpen week and we are getting down to the goods of the HOLD.  Enjoy the rankings, tidbits and the casual barbs at my peers.  Cheers!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Kraken of 06010 fame, Jason Heyward, has erupted. Heyward has gone 12-for-24 this past week with an eye popping 1.478 OPS. He has homered in three consecutive games, going 1-for-3 with a dinger and 3 RBI last night. Heyward has had some unfair comparisons thrown his way early in his career, even picking up the outrageously unfair “J-Hey Kid” nickname in his rookie season. He is a man child, looking well past his age, kind of like Greg Oden or LeBron James, so let’s not forget that he is still just 25 years old. Heyward hit 27 homers in 2012 with a .814 OPS but has since posted disappointingly low totals. With 9 homers on the year, he is now on pace for about 21. I could see him doing a bit better than that. I’m going to predict that his year-end OPS sits right around .800. I’m buying.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So I pulled up MLB.com on Wednesday morning and clicked the calendar over to Thursday’s games to get an idea of what I would be working with for tonight’s slate. I saw three night games. Yes, three.

I made the two-hour drive to New York City, and hailed a cab to 245 Park Avenue to the office of the commissioner of baseball. After a brief — 10 hour — meeting, I made my pitch, but he ruled against me and kept the slate so small. If I couldn’t convince Rob Manfred to change things up, I’m not sure how Tom Brady will do.

Alas, I emailed one of our fearless editors, and he informed me that the show must go on.

So, let’s take a look at this mess… err… mesmerizing slate. Yeah, that works.

Straight to the cash, homie.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Donaldson pulling a Jeter? Shades of Armando Galarraga on a play at first in a perfect game? John Gibbons looking like he’s sucking on a lemon but really he just happened to glimpse Brett Cecil? The eighth was thick with humidity. The tension was buzzing from a few bugs that made their way inside the domed stadium as Marco Estrada went for a perfect game. Unfortunately, Donaldson diving into the stands to make the first out in the 8th, when the announcers said he was “pulling a Jeter,” didn’t stop the infield hit on the very next batter when Logan Forsythe just barely beat it out to first. To misquote that previous sentence, it would be the first time a pulling Jeter had to beat it out. Marco ended the game with 8 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, zero walks and 10 Ks. He’s now allowed three hits in his previous two starts (over 15 2/3 IP). Estrada’s main peccadillo — or ponchadillo, as might be the case with Estrada — is he allows a shizzton of homers and he pitches his home games in Toronto. He’s recently looked untouchable, and I’d stay with the theme and not touch him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ittttttttttt’s sooooooo haaaaaaaaard to saaaaaaaay gooooooodbyyyyyyye to yesterdaaaaaaaaaaay. Greetings! Yes, yes, I’m back, needing a week off to mourn the ending of another epic season of Game of Thrones. (Be sure to check out the Razzball pod covering the finale!) Some of you may be joyous over the fact that I won’t be posting anymore Westeros mashups, but then again, some of you aren’t right in the head. I come back to you, rested and perky, much like Cersei Lannister’s body double’s breasts, ready to get back on my job, which is dropping hot lava rocks, praising the Elder God chosen, and mercilessly disintegrated the souls of the weak whom are causing those of us unfortunate enough to own them, to drop our drawls, grab our ankles, and take a 3 foot rod all the way to the guts. No mercy, no fear.

I am Tehol Beddict, and this is Disgrace/Delight. Take heed!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

When we started this series in the offseason, I asked for suggestions of who you’d like to see profiled. Alexander Reyes was one of the names that popped up immediately, so let’s take a look at the Cardinals’ right-hander as our first pick from the request line. Reyes checked in at #3 in my Cardinals Top 10 this offseason, just behind outfielder Stephen Piscotty and southpaw Marco Gonzales. The 20-year-old Reyes is off to a fantastic start this season with High-A Palm Beach and he’s a player that should get even more buzz when midseason prospect lists are launched over the next few weeks. Let’s see what all the fuss is about. WARNING: The velocity discussed in this post is not suitable for children.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I remember back to the heydays of the public service announcement that would grace the network telecasts of things like baseball games. (Sidenote: Apparently I also remember back to the days when folks would use the word heydey….and folks.)

One such PSA was on peer pressure and it would feature a couple of kids: One doing something they shouldn’t be doing and the other hesitating on whether to do the same or stand strong. Inevitably, the ne’er do well of the duo would say something influential like “Come on, do it.” and “Go ahead, try it, everybody’s doing it.”

Some people in the DFS realm might tell you not to roster two starting pitchers together in the same game. The thinking is that you’ll limit yourself in the all-important win points from the SP if both pitchers are in the same game. After all, only one may win.

But in DraftKings, that win isn’t always the carrot you need to chase when it comes to starting pitchers. A nice cash game score in DK would be around 120-130. A win is four points, which isn’t insignificant, but it’s a mere pittance compared to the overall number. On another site, you might see a win being worth four points, too, but the point total to cash will be around 40. So while a win is worth almost 10 percent of the cash line for that site, a win is worth around .03% on DraftKings. This frees you up to take on more risks with pitchers that may not win, but are in good positions to score some value for you.

One such situation is occurring tonight in Pittsburgh, where the Cincinnati Reds and the hometown Pirates are sharing a Vegas line of 6.5, with Gerrit Cole established as a significant favorite (-190). In situations like this, on a weak SP slate as it is tonight, you may want to tackle both sides of the 6.5 line.

The Pirates are 22nd against RHP this season and 24th overall over the last 14 days, both with over a 20% K rate. Mike Leake isn’t awesome, but he’s solid, especially on this slate, rocking a 3.20 SIERA, 3.1 K/BB ratio and a 54% groundball rate over the last 30 days.

Sure, Cole looks great and is worth being rostered at home with his nine Ks/9 IP, great control, a high groundball rate of his own and a 3.03 SIERA over the last five starts. But why not roster both?

Everybody’s doing it.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 25 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

For one day, let’s put our troubles away and bask in Nolan Arenado. No, I want you to shove your troubles further under the rug than they usually are. Here, give me your high school depantsing, the girl that dumped you the day before prom, you walking in on your mother and the mechanic and all your other emotional scars and lift the rug, I’ll slide them under. There. *wipes hands* Now, you are unencumbered to enjoy The Torenado. He hit two homers yesterday to bring his total to 19, and he’s hitting .287 with a .271 BABIP. Yes, he’s actually been unlucky. You can likely tell from the ends of my mustache turning upwards, but he should actually be better. He’s on pace for a 35-homer, .290 season with ease! Again, with some stank — EASE! Help me, Auntie Em, it’s a Torenado and my house is spinning and my Yorkie is barking and I’m landing on a person. Oh, shucks, I landed on Pablo Sandoval. If you followed my rankings, and drafted Arenado. You’re welcome. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Jace Peterson (+25.9%) was the most added player in fantasy baseball this past week. SAGBJ doesn’t quite have the same ring to it as SAGNOF, I’ll admit. Sounds like a disappointing sexual experience or something. Or perhaps just a disappointing Upton brother. Peterson has been anything but disappointing in his first season as Atlanta’s starting second baseman however. Through Sunday’s games, Peterson has produced a .284/.363/.389 triple slash line with 2 home runs, 28 runs scored, 31 RBI, and 8 stolen bases across 265 PA. His 10.9% BB% leads all qualified MLB middle infielders, which has helped to cement his position as the Braves everyday leadoff hitter. Peterson has speed to burn, which can be seen in his 148 steals in 389 career minor league games, so his 8 steals this season might be just the tip of the iceberg.

One thing to keep an eye on is Peterson’s success rate (or lack thereof) on the basepaths. He’s already been caught stealing 8 times this season (2nd highest total in MLB), leading to a 50% success rate on steal attempts, which is uglier than Eric Stoltz in his full Mask makeup. If that rate doesn’t improve soon, Peterson’s green light could turn red in a hurry. It doesn’t seem like a big issue for the team at the moment though. For fantasy owners, steals got the Jace face. If you have a need for speed, you know what to do. Run, Jace, run.

Here are a couple of other significant adds and drops in fantasy baseball over the past week:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

A group of men debating the guilt or innocence of another…sounds like our comments section.  This is one of the rare movies where I enjoyed the original and the 1997 remake. Damn, that was really a star studded cast. Yes, Tony Danza is a star, he was in Cannonball Run II! That’s one movie series I would hate to see remade. Is it me, or is Hollywood stuck in a rut? [Jay’s Note: I wonder why?] It feels like every week a poorly done remake or reboot that should of been left alone is coming out. Poltergeist, really Hollywood?…really. I don’t even need to see that to know it’s crap. Wait, this has nothing to with anything today, except what spun out of my head when I saw Tony Danza’s name. If I was Grey, this would make for the perfect segue to a Alyssa Milano dating someone who plays baseball for the Dodgers reference. Dah, I did it again… You would think I would be talking about me with the word angry in the title, but nope, this is the RCL update and it’s about you. Okay, mostly about you and a little about “us”. Follow me after the jump and you’ll know what I’m talking about…

Please, blog, may I have some more?