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In the year of thirteen after twenty in the land bestowed to us by Disney and Guiliani called the City of York, Jay-Z removed his Brooklyn Nets leather cap, raspberried his lips and scratched his head. He buzzed his assistant’s intercom and said, “Solange,when you get a second, the spreadsheets you brought me are wrong. I want WAR.” Solange thought he wanted to war with her, and that led to the infamous encounter where she thrashed him in an elevator on the way home from an EPA fundraiser. What Jay-Z wanted to do was research Robinson Cano‘s value for his upcoming contract negotiations. Little did Hova know, but that research was unnecessary. Seattle was looking to double their city’s Dominican-American population and sign Cano. Coming off the $240 million signing, Cano could do no right last year, but was it expectations set by that contract, or was it simply he could do no right? Like a dwarf getting down cereal from a cabinet, I’m gonna go with the latter. Cano eventually hit his usual .310+, but with only fourteen homers, ten steals and yawnstipating runs and RBIs. Some of that can be blamed on the M’s. Shoot, we can blame the whole lot on the M’s if we want, they did sign him for an astronomical sum, after all. The reason why I go back to the contract is because I think that affects people’s perception of Cano. They expect Cano will be better in 2015. They don’t think a guy who is making gazillions (I’m rounding) could be bad. They, of course, would be wrong. Cano’s admirers suffer from a psychological disease I’ve touched on before. It’s called Poseyitis. Poseyitis is when a player’s real-life hype creeps its way into the discussion about a player’s fantasy value. You need to separate the two. So, why is Robinson Cano overrated for 2015 fantasy baseball?

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I wanted to start doing our commenter league sign-ups today, but ESPN still hasn’t opened their doors. Who’s got the keys over there? Does Karabell need someone to come shovel his driveway? So, instead of sign-ups beginning today, we’re going over a mi amor in the outfield. I already touched on Steven Souza briefly when he was first traded away from the Nats, saying, “(He) went to the Rays in the three-way Myers trade. Souza is a little cheaper than Myers and helps build up the Rays’ horn section. Souza might be the last remnants of Bowden fluffers in Washington. Get a load of this– Hmm, maybe that’s a bad turn of a phrase when talking about fluffers. Anyway, look at his last few years: 11 HRs, 25 SBs in 2011; 23 HRs, 14 SBs in 2012; 16 HRs, 30 SBs in 2013 and 18 HRs, 26 SBs last year in Triple-A. You, “Please don’t tell me the bad news, I refuse to listen!” Sorry, You. He looks like he might not hit .240 without some favorable BABIP luck. Yes, the Rays have their 2nd Desmond Jennings. Call Souza, Desmond 2 Too. This won’t be the last time you hear about Souza this offseason, and he could be an absolute steal in drafts.” And that’s me quoting me! See, I wasn’t lying. I told you I’d talk about him again. Little did you know that 40% of my talking again about him would be what I already said and 20% more would be talking about how I was saying the same thing again, then 10% is punctuation, 10% is spacing and 20% is new stuff. Razzball: 20% New Stuff Daily! Anyway, what can we expect from Steven Souza for 2015 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

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For these pitcher pairings, I’m going to be using our 2015 fantasy baseball rankings. Notably, the top 20 starters for 2015 fantasy baseball, top 40 starters for 2015, top 60 starters for 2015 and the top 80 starters for 2015. You can also just go to our Fantasy Baseball War Room. Okay, formalities out of the way. *rolls up sleeves, makes farting noise with hand under armpit, rolls down sleeve* Let’s get busy! Now, what is a pitcher pairing? It’s your plan for putting together a fantasy staff. A course of action. If you have A pitcher, which B, C, D, E and F pitcher goes with him? Which is different than ‘F this pitcher,’ that’s what you say in May. You should have six starters. The sixth starter is Tony Cingrani or take whoever you want. I suggest an upside pick. Cingrani comes to mind. Or Jesse Hahn. Taijuan also comes to mind. I’m going to assume you’re in a 12 team, 5×5 and some variation of 9 pitcher leagues like the Razzball Commenter Leagues. Speaking of which, the RCL league sign-ups begin on Monday (if ESPN opens its doors). (NOTE: What you are about to read is massively confusing. If it were found scribbled in a notebook, the FBI would be watching me. If Charles Manson stood up and read this at the next prison Meet N’ Greet, no one would blink an eye.) Anyway, here’s pitcher pairings for pitching staffs for 2015 fantasy baseball drafts:

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Finally, we come to the end of the 2015 fantasy baseball rankings. (Can we start games already?) A little birdie told me we’re opening up our commenter fantasy leagues on Monday. Then the little birdie pooped on my shoulder and I thought it was blue cheese and I put it on a cracker and– Wait, where was I? So, the top 400 for 2015 fantasy baseball isn’t meant to surprise or astound. If you’re surprised that, say, Steven Souza is ranked above Marlon Byrd, then you didn’t read the top 60 outfielders for 2015 fantasy baseball. I forgive you, but does your never-proud father? I don’t think so. Save it for the therapy sessions! Okay, you know that I like Souza more than Byrd, you know I like Javier Baez more than Jose Ramirez as seen at the top 20 shortstops for 2015 fantasy baseball, but you don’t know how I feel about where these guys fall in the bigger picture. Is Baez above Souza? So to show you where I think players fall in relation to each other in 2015 fantasy baseball drafts, I’m putting together the top 400. This still needs to be taken with a grain of salt. If you have a shortstop already and Baez is still on the board at pick 200, you don’t draft him if you see Souza and you need an outfielder, even though Souza is below Baez on this list. So I might take someone at 200 over someone at 180? Yes, every draft is different. With the top 10, there’s almost no latitude. With the top 100, there’s a decent amount of latitude. With a top 400, there’s lots of latitude. You taking someone at 185 is more or less the same as someone else taking someone at 235. So if you see someone who’s ranked at 250th, but want them at 200, then do what you do. Because of the length of the top 400, there’s no pithy comments with each name, but you kinda do need to know what I’m thinking for each name, so I advise you go over each position in the 2015 fantasy baseball rankings. The top 100 and top 400 is what I would have at my drafts, along with the top 20 rankings posts. If I were drafting online, I’d also use the fantasy baseball tiers (Hitter Tiers/Pitcher Tiers) and the Fantasy Baseball War Room. (Hopefully the downloadable one is ready shortly. This is out of my control, someone else fills out the Excel spreadsheet and I simply post it. No one has filled it out yet this year. *wink, wink, nudge, nudge, kazoo* If you want to help your fellow Razzballers, you’ll take on this task.) Finally, here is this top 400 for 2015 fantasy baseball without any of this jibber-jabbering. Anyway, here’s the top 400 for 2015 fantasy baseball:

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With the 2015 fantasy baseball rankings for every position done, we turn our lazy eye towards the top 100 for 2015 fantasy baseball. These 2015 fantasy baseball rankings are one part fresh and two parts to def. They own a cat, a dog and a lizard in a two bedroom apartment where pets aren’t allowed. Know why? Cause they don’t care! None of this top 100 for 2015 fantasy baseball is meant to surprise. *jumping out of a closet* Boo! Now, that was meant to surprise. This top 100 is just taking my positional rankings and putting guys in The Big Picture. You really should read each ranking post because the blurbs in this top 100 are on the skimpy side because there’s so many of them, and I went over each one of these guys already. Obviously at a hundred players, some guys just didn’t make it. About 300, to be inexact. It’s okay; there will be a top 400 tomorrow. Shortly, Sloth, you’ll have your Baby Ruth. Not to get all biblical on you, but this is the gospel. Print it out and take it to Mt. Sinai and it will say, “Win your 2015 fantasy baseball league, young prematurely balding man.” Projections were done by me and a crack team of 100 monkeys fighting amongst themselves because there were only 99 typewriters. Somebody please buy Ling-Ling his own typewriter! Anyway, here’s the top 100 for 2015 fantasy baseball:

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Pardon me if I’m daffy with silly pills, but, with these top 100 starters for 2015 fantasy baseball, I’ve put out all of my 2015 fantasy baseball rankings. Hahahahaha… Breathe, Grey, breathe! Whew, almost lost it there for a second. Tomorrow will be the top 100 overall, then the top 400 overall, but that’s just putting everyone in perspective. I’m going to now soak my finger bunions in pickle juice and read a good book. Anyone read the Teri Garr autobiography? I hear it’s a real eye grabber. Oh, guess I should finish this post first. As always, my projections are included and where tiers start and stop. Anyway, here’s the top 100 starters for 2015 fantasy baseball:

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With the top 80 starters for 2015 fantasy baseball, I will say this, we are having such a gay time! Gay like Colin Firth would use it. In an 19th century period drama. As in merriment. We are having ourselves a merry old time! Okay, that’s very gay. Still the same definition of gay. Merry. Merry, merry, quite contrarian of you if you say different! The starters start to thin out a little when we get to this post — not you, Sabathia! — but there’s still plenty to go around. You could likely draft starters from only this post and do fine in some leagues. Think I’m a liar. Well, I’m offended, but in this post last year was Samardzija, Peralta, Ventura, Quintana and Pineda. How many of those guys had an ERA over 3.50? One, Peralta at 3.53. I just got goose pimples typing that, but I also have the flu so maybe I should drink fluids. All the 2015 fantasy baseball rankings are there. My tiers and projections are noted. Anyway, here’s the top 80 starters for 2015 fantasy baseball:

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Today, it’s time for the top 60 starters for 2015 fantasy baseball, but, first, let’s jump in the world’s worst time machine and go back to this past Tuesday morning when Rudy released the Steamer Hitter/Pitcher projections along with the fantasy auction values for every conceivable league. If you go to the ESPN 12 team auction values (or any page from the menu on that auction value page), you’ll see little boxes above each column. Go to the POS box and type in SP. Frank Voila! Now it’s just listing pitchers (you can sort for whatever you want in the top boxes). Now click on the $/G box. It should turn black. You are now sorting by the dollars expected to earn per game for starters. If you click on the $K column, you are now sorting by who is expected to rack up the most Ks. So on and so forth. All of my 2015 fantasy baseball rankings are there. As always, my tiers and projections are included. Anyway, here’s the top 60 starters for 2015 fantasy baseball:

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Yesterday, we went over the top 20 starters for 2015 fantasy baseball and today it’s the top 40 starters for 2015 fantasy baseball. This is one of my favorite ranking posts because I usually end up with two starters from these twenty. They are the low end number one starters. To quote Lil Jon at his fantasy baseball draft, “Get low end number ones! To the Carrasco, to the Wheeler! Til Wood drop his base on balls! Til all these pitchers fall!” Is it weird I have a man crush on Lil Jon? He seems like he’d be a constant source of entertainment if you hung out with him on the day-to-day. Also, besides the low end number ones, there’s number twos and high end number threes. These are going to be your fantasy staff linchpins. So, all the 2015 fantasy baseball rankings are right in there. As with all other ranking posts, my projections and tiers are included. Anyway, here’s the top 40 starters for 2015 fantasy baseball:

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The royal we already went over all the hitters for 2015 fantasy baseball rankings. That’s not the “royal we” as that term usually implies. It was me writing it alone while wearing a Burger King crown. I refuse to draft a top starter where they are usually drafted. Unlike hitters, you need six starters, depending on your league depth. Simple math tells us there’s plenty of starters to go around. Simple Math, “Stop putting words in my mouth!” In most leagues, there’s a ton of guys on waivers that can help you — all year. Not just in April, and then they disappear. With the help of the Stream-o-Nator, you can get by with, say, three starters while streaming the rest. To read more about streaming as a draft strategy. There’s also the fact that three stats by starters are difficult to predict due to luck. Wins, ERA and WHIP are prone to shift due to which way the ball bounces and whether or not the guys behind the pitchers can score runs. Finally, the best starters can give you four categories. The best hitters can give you five categories. As always, where I see tiers starting and stopping are included and my projections. Anyway, here’s the top 20 starters for 2015 fantasy baseball:

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Wanna know how dedicated I am to you? I have your name tattooed on my tramp stamp area. Yeah, your name. Wanna know how else I’m dedicated to you? I flipped guys in and out of this post, moved a few to the top 80 outfielders for 2015 fantasy baseball, moved some more to the top 60 outfielders for 2015 fantasy baseball, didn’t move any into the top 40 outfielders for 2015 fantasy baseball, but considered it and made sure everyone was ranked to the best of my ability in this post. You’re thinking, “I’d hope you’re making sure your rankings in this post are correct, these are you rankings after all.” True, You. But, honestly, most of the guys in the second half of this post are irrelevant outside of deeper leagues. It’s simple math. If you’re in a 12-team league with five outfielders, 60 outfielders are drafted, then twenty more guys are drafted that have multi-position eligibility, another ten for utility slots or for some schmohawks that draft a bench outfielder and, add up all of that, and it equals Frank Ocean. Okay, the math is off there. It should’ve equaled, “About 90 outfielders drafted.” And everyone knows the fifth outfielder drafted doesn’t last long on your team. Sure, maybe Josh Hamilton bounces back (doubtful), or maybe Carl Crawford becomes the latest Zombino (more doubtful), but in most mixed leagues these guys aren’t even being drafted. In one mock draft I did for a magazine (they still make these? Where do you buy them?), Josh Reddick wasn’t even drafted and he’s ranked higher than all the guys here. Never the hoo! All the 2015 fantasy baseball rankings are under that linkie-ma-whosie. Anyway, here’s the top 100 outfielders for 2015 fantasy baseball:

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Today we go over the top 80 outfielders for 2015 fantasy baseball, which comes after we went over the top 60 outfielders for 2015 fantasy baseball, which came after the top 40 outfielders for 2015 fantasy baseball which followed the top 20 outfielders for 2015 fantasy baseball. Link dump! Tomorrow we hit the final 100 best outfielders, then on to the top 100 starters. It’s the best day of your life because I’m bestowing on you wonderful like your father never did. Don’t ask me to go see you play Little League though, that’s not happening. As always, my tiers and projections are noted and all of the 2015 fantasy baseball rankings are there. Where? There. Dur. Anyway, here’s the top 80 outfielders for 2015 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?