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The BFG movie is coming out, based on Roald Dahl’s book; I remember back in junior high every girl and a few guys reading all his books, and if you were really cool, you knew how to pronounce his name.  I was not cool and didn’t read his books, but did enjoy Willy Wonka. Back in those days though, BFG to me was a gun in DOOM, which they said stood for Big Fragging Gun, but we all knew better.  Wow, I feel like I have pimples and am wearing flannel all over again. Anyway, BFG stands for Big Friendly Giant in the book; but shouldn’t it stand for Big F***king Guy?  I can’t think of a better description right now for Steven Moya.  Moya measures at 6’7, 260 pounds (making him just taller than Roald Dahl at 6’6; I get the sneaking suspicion that at least some of the BFG is about Dahl himself; furthermore Dahl was a pilot all over the world in his youth.  My question: how did he fit into the cockpit?  Now that I think about it, I’ve never seen a tall pilot which makes sense since that cockpit is small – that’s what she said!)

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See all of today’s starting lineups

# MLB Starting Lineups For Wed 5/21
ARI | ATH | ATL | BAL | BOS | CHC | CHW | CIN | CLE | COL | DET | HOU | KC | LAA | LAD | MIA | MIL | MIN | NYM | NYY | PHI | PIT | SD | SEA | STL | TB | TEX | TOR | WSH | OAK | SF
July 3rd often goes unforgotten. Proper preparation is key to a successful event. You simply can't just watch baseball to be successful in DFS. Since you all have busy days, let me do the research for you. Before heading out to buy beer and fireworks, why not throw in a couple line ups and wake up with extra money on July 4th? You have to pay for all that stuff somehow. Today we have four aces pitching today all priced over 11K. Two are facing off against each other, one is facing the Jays in Rogers Centre, and one gets the pitch against the Twins. That pitcher who gets the twins is a good American boy Cole Hamels. Like the weather, Hamels' arm has continuously heated up throughout the season. His fastball averaged 94 mph on the radar gun in June. The increased velocity may be a reason for the success he has had in his last 4 starts, where he allowed only 2 runs over 27.2 innings of work. More importantly, he averaged 27.6 fantasy points in that span. If he can maintain his increase in velocity he should find more success against the Twinkies. When facing fastballs from LHP over 94 mph, the Twins are only batting .175. Hamels has nearly a strike out per inning, which he should be able to maintain as the Twins have a 24.3 K% vs LHP. They have not handled LHP very well, as they have a 91 wRC+ and an 8.1% BB%. Sano is back off the DL, so if he gets the start that should be at least 3 strikeouts for Hamels on the day. Let me do the research for you so you have more time to prep for July 4th. Here are the rest of DFS picks for July 3... New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday July 4th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.
Tell me this isn't the most American thing you've ever heard. I sit mere miles from Cooperstown, NY, sipping an American made brew, working away on the final stretches of my Mid-Season Top 100 Prospects for Fantasy Baseball, while fireworks crackle overhead. The smell of beer and lawn clippings fill the air, and I just cooked some bacon on the barrel of my rifle. The last sentence was complete bullshizz, but the part before it is fairly accurate. I mean I'm not enough of a tool that I would sit in the yard with my laptop writing. But I am enough of a tool that I was formulating what I would type, once the pack of wild animals I affectionately call my children decide to finally retire to their beds for the evening. Well, the time has come and here I am writing to you, and you alone. Without anymore rambling incoherent non-sense, allow me to introduce the Top 100 Prospects Fantasy Baseball. This list is built with an eye to the future, in other words my goal is for this list to be more reflective of a pre-season 2017 list than the pre-season 2016 lists. I went bold, and I avoided the boring. Meaning I have no use for your Julio Urias', your Lucas Giolito's, A.J. Reed's, Cody Reed's and the like. You know those guys, they're playing in the bigs, at this point they're A. owned in your dynasty or B. owned in your redraft league so C. they're owned. You thought I was going to say there's no C right? What do I look like Grey? Nope I'm much taller and my facial hair is more Don Johnson than John Oates.

Cleveland

Dear Jesus, First, I'd like to apologize for anything I've done wrong in my sports fandom and life. It's been a difficult two decades. And I'm sorry if I have anything to do with this. Second, I'd like to apologize for the title of this article and for dubbing a specific city 'Titletown'. Third, I'd like to apologize for the disdain I have towards said 'Titletown'. I know it's unhealthy, and primarily driven from envy. I'm going to make comparisons, I'm going to give some praise, and I'm going to encourage people to fully get behind a team that no one in the everest of evers has ever gotten behind. But like your belief in me that goes beyond reason sometimes, so does this belief in a certain team this week. You're the greatest. Please allow my city to experience a similar run. M@ Haha, is this all in jest? Absolutely. Am I serious about asking for forgiveness? Absolutely. Because I'm officially dubbing Cleveland 'Titletown' of the sports world of the century of the week (to steal from SVP's bit - Thanks 'Aqua Teen Hunger Force'). For realsies...Cleveland now owns the NBA Championship belt (Kevin Love literally holds the belt), and the way the Indians are steamrolling the majors they're a favorite to compete for the World Series crown, as well. And as an Atlanta fan I have nothing but envy, jealousy and anger. If only my Hawks could do what the Cavs did (where's our Atlanta-born hoops messiah?!? And if you say Dwight because he's coming home I'll come through your screen and sprain your ankle). If only my Braves could become what the Indians are currently (they're actually on the perfect track for either them or the Cubs). If only my Falcons could become like the Bro....NOPE! Stay the Falcons. Please. Good heavens. Don't become the Johnny Manziels Robert Griffins. And after getting obliterated by my Aaron Nola hype two weeks ago (another thing I'm sorry about), I'm going with the studs; and Cleveland has two of them this week. Carlos Carrasco and Danny Salazar have been Aces Up the whole year, so I'm going to double down on 'Titletown' due to these guys. They're as strong a shot at a W as anyone with the Indians winning over a dozen straight. While the Tigers have hit better recently, the Yankees at home is a glorious opportunity to see double digit Ks. Wish I had Salazar on even a single team this year; thankful I have two with Carrasco. They're gonna be dope this week, and here's how the rest of the Two-Weeks Pitchers rank for Week 14.
This marks my 100th post here at the Razzball baseball blog and I must say how thankful I am that I have a home at a blog where I can provide below average fantasy baseball analysis while referencing Jules Verne, Scientology, Jon Snuh and ayahuasca all in the same post. It's been a wild couple a years and I outlasted many a writer I didn't think I'd outlast. Remember when the Guru disappeared in a van? Remember Razzball TV on the Radio? And what ever happened to Kenyon!? That guy was hilarious. I remember when Grey first found me. I was trying to get my Harry Potter erotica/fan fiction off the ground and writing signs for homeless people to make a quick buck. "Why Lie I Need A Beer," ever see that one? Yep, that's a Dan Pants original. Grey said he could use my talents to express undying love for shortstops named Xander and tell people they shouldn't own two catchers. The rest is history, folks. Special thanks to Grey, Rudy, and Jay. Not Tehol though--[expletive deleted] that guy. But enough about me, you're here for the sub-par fantasy advice. The New York Mets (lol, Joakim Noah!) called up rookie [player]Brandon Nimmo[/player] last Sunday and after going 0-for-4 in his debut, he's hit safely in his past five games. He's led off for NY the past two games and responded in a big way last night going 2-for-3 with a 3-run home run (a 440 foot shot). Curtis Granderson remains hobbled and with Michael Conforto "working things out" in the minors Brandon has been given an opportunity to shine at the top of the order. He slashed .328/.409/.508 with five homers and five steals in 63 games AAA this year. If you are looking for an outfielder in NL-Only and deeper mixed leagues you might consider finding Nimmo on your waiver wire. Here's what else happened in fantasy baseball Friday night:
Am I the only person who watched Helix and actually liked it? I mean, I never saw it on actual cable but caught up with the two seasons before they were cancelled and thought they were highly enjoyable for what they were. But most of all, it was the use of the music that nabbed me, right from the pilot episode. The intro drop is a great mix of 50s pop sounds mixed with modern synth sounds. It may only be 10 seconds but it really sets you up for the feel of the show. By that I mean they took a Burt Bacharach song sung by Dione Warwick and made it stick in my head and dammit, I'm gonna stick it into your noodle, too. Don't pervert that last sentence...but more back to why I'm yammering on about Helix was I'm of course referencing said song in my title about Ivan Nova and him facing the Padres. I see zero reason to pitch Nova in this scenario in cash - he is, in fact, not good at pitching - but in a points per dollar sort of way, I like the idea of rolling Ivan out there against a team that owns the second worst wRC+ against right handed pitching on the year, just above the Braves. Throw in the fourth highest K rate against said handedness and there's potential for 20 points here from a bottom of the barrel pitcher. But now that we've established the good, the cheap, and the ugly all at once, let's cover the rest of the slate. Here's my love, sweet love hot taeks for this Saturday DK slate... New to DraftKings? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday July 4th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.
So this year, like so many before, the closer trade market is always an interesting cocktail mixer of events that shake things up.  The Padres waited to be first, which makes zero sense... but also makes total sense.  A conundrum wrapped in bacon as they traded Fernando Rodney to the ever more deadly bullpen in Miami.  He will not be closing there, but will basically make that bullpen just deeper and taking value away from great holds guys on the year in David Phelps and Kyle Barraclough.  Rodney brings his glistening 1 earned run on the year, to a situation behind the Marlins closer A.J. Ramos, who hasn't blown a save to date.  So now the ramifications don't just stay with the Marlins, their bullpen is solid.  The Padres, however, are like the movie Thinner, a cursed bunch of unprovens, which is sometimes good and bad.  Ryan Buchter is the first guy up, as he has carved out a decent set-up niche there.  After that, it is a bunch of Quacks, Villas, and BM's.  Buchter has the K-rate, just not the pedigree... yet, to be a closer.  He has the job as they say in fantasy, which is better than being fantasy homeless or unemployed. So Buchter is the add. Maurer and Quackenbush are on ready five.  Here what else is happening in the game of final bosses.  Have a safe and Happy 4th of July weekend!
At some point soon, the Yankees have to say to themselves, "Are we this stupid of an organization?  We have a guy that is doing The Mashed Potato in the minors.  Look at this..."  Then a pile of balls that Aaron Judge hit are piled on the table, but instead of balls, they now look like mashed potatoes with stitches weaving throughout.  "No, we didn't have Lyle's mom from accountant make a very long string of maraschino cherry stems tied together with her mouth.  Those are baseballs with stitches that have been mashed by Judge."  One younger exec picks at a piece of mashed potato-baseball.  "Stop picking at your food and eat it!"  The young exec puts a piece of gummy baseball into his mouth.  "I was kidding, you fool, it's a baseball!  You don't eat that!"  This has to happen soon.  Aaron Judge is not getting any younger.  Unlike me, I was 35 last year, and am 27 this year.  Right now, he's 24 years old and crushing pink cookies in Triple-A.  The Yanks are nine games back and Tokyo drifting.  No one on their team is young.  Best move for them is to trade everyone or start benching guys to play Judge.  Oh, and why do we care?  Because Judge has Giancarlo-type power.  He could hit 15 homers in a month.  Fo'reallies.  I have him stashed in one 12-team league, and I'd stash him in any league where I needed power.  His time is nigh!  Which sounds like something a Nazi would say, but it just means near.  Anyway, here's some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Not even a back injury can keep [player]Clayton Kershaw[/player] from the top spot in my points leagues rankings. I thought about going with "He'll Be Back" as my title considering his current DL designation, but I'm not really sure of the extent of his injury. However, Clayton Kershaw can probably get you more points while on the disabled list than several other pitchers whom are not. That's actually a true statement considering multiple pitchers have turned in negative performances. [player]Edinson Volquez[/player], [player]Eduardo Rodriguez[/player], [player]Dan Straily[/player] and [player]James Shields[/player] are among those that have recently subtracted points from their teams' totals. Plus, then I would have had to fill this post with both Arnold Schwarzenegger and Terminator references. Last week I promised I'd focus on pitchers in the following week. Today is next week. It almost feels like time travel. Weird. Since I am a man of my word, here you go. Like last week, today's pitcher rankings are based 70 percent on year-to-date performance, 30 percent on rest of season projections and 10 percent on experimental formulas.
span style="font-weight: 400;">This was supposed to be a day filled with Clayton Kershaw against the Rockies. That was the de facto cash game play, who you paired with him was a game of “Don’t Break The Ice”. Now, with Kershaw down and out with an apparent childbirth (epidural), it’s more like a game of russian roulette picking your starters. So, let’s close up, give it a spin and in chamber one, we’ve got Jaime Garcia vs. the Milwaukee Brewers. I always like to lean towards a pitcher who’s at home, check one in the positive column for Garcia. Another positive is the Brew Crew’s strikeout rate. They currently have the second most strikeouts in all of baseball. Generally, the Brewer’s offense is a bit scary (top 10 home OPS), but get them away from Miller Park and the bats go quiet (5th worst away OPS). Jaime has been a bit all over the map this year, but his 3.54 FIP and 3.74 xFIP (compared to 4.09 ERA) suggest he’s been getting a tad unlucky. For the low price of $7,900, Jaime will be my staff anchor on a night where the options are far from safe. Here’s what else is loaded in our DraftKings six shooter tonight: New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday July 4th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.
The sixth inning of every home Clayton Kershaw start isn't going to be the same.  No longer will Angelenos be filing in as if it's the first, suddenly realizing that Kershaw is pitching, but now they will be stuck talking about everything but baseball for the entirety of the game and not simply 95% of it.  "Ma, can I keep score on the back of my headshot?"  "We're not here to see the game, Timmy, we're here to run into commercial directors.  This is where Stew's mom got him that Tropicana commercial.  You want to pay my bills, don't you?"  "Sorry, ma."  Like the oral sex scene in The World According to Garp, it's a devastating blow losing Kershaw for any amount of time.  He was diagnosed with a herniated disc, but won't require surgery.  The Dodgers are hoping he's back (poor choice of words) from the DL right after the All-Star Game.  I'd pray with you, but I'm using my hands to clap for not drafting a pitcher in the 1st round.  The Dodgers did pick up Bud Norris in a trade to fill in.  Won't see any fall off there!  Anyway, here's what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball: