Josh Hamilton was acquired by the Rangers as originally reported by Dan Pants on Saturday. Gammons, Dan Pants, Heyman, that’s the top three most quoted baseball reporters. Dan Pants is a bit more optimistic than me for Hamilton’s return to the Land of Spurs, Twinkie-frying and hats with gigantism. I wouldn’t own Hamilton unless I had a free DL spot and don’t expect much from him. I’ve chimed this triangle before, but have you recently seen Brett Butler? She looks like she’s 89 years old. She’s 57. Have you seen Lohan recently? She looks like she’s 50; she’s 28. Haley Joel Osment just looks awful, I don’t know if he was an addict. Addicts age poorly. Hamilton, 33, has the body of a 60-year-old. Breaking down left and right just getting out of bed. He says he’ll be back in a few weeks, but he’ll go down to another injury, and then when the doctor goes to prescribe something, Hamilton won’t be able to take it due to his addictions and he’ll be back on the DL. It’s a feel-good story (if the only other stories you’ve ever heard involve Amanda Bynes), but I wouldn’t bother. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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See all of today’s starting lineups

# MLB Starting Lineups For Sun 8/3
ARI | ATH | BAL | BOS | CHC | CHW | CLE | COL | DET | HOU | KC | LAA | LAD | MIA | MIL | MIN | NYM | NYY | PHI | PIT | SD | SEA | SF | STL | TB | TEX | TOR | WSH | ATL | CIN | OAK

I’m popping a cherry of sorts here…  I’m double-dipping in my first ever Pitcher Profile on a hurler already profiled.  But things change!  People change!  Hairstyles change!  I’ll miss you the most, scarecrow!  (bonus points if you know that movie!)

Two years ago, I broke down Chris Archer‘s first career complete game that Summer…  Look at how much we’ve improved!  No weekly rankings, no GIFs, it’s like that was written in the stone age!  At the time, Archer was a young-up-and-comer who even surprised the most die hard of Archer fans, but after going complete twice in a three game span in 2013, really hasn’t shown uber-dominance in any long stretches.  Well, looking back at 2014 he did go on a huge roll starting at the end of May, but never more than say 6 or 7 starts.

After a meh opener, Archer has been a stud the last four, and at age 26 may be finally settling in to an ace-like season.  So I decided to break down his outing yesterday hosting the Blue Jays to see if I think this is a new Archer that is going to maintain dominant numbers all year:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Rajai Davis is, once again, a SAGNOF-ian legend.  Again, again, again, was exactly what he did on Saturday when the 34-year-old outfielder stole 3 bases.  This year he might just be the best fantasy player of all those playing only part time (the other player fighting for this honor, in my opinion, is Alex Guerrero).  He has 6 stolen bases despite starting in only 9 of 18 games through Saturday for the Tigers.  Digging up some career stats I see that he’s never needed much playing time to rack up the SBs.  Since he broke out with 41 stolen bases in 2009 he’s averaged 42 steals per season while at the same time averaging only 124.5 games played.  And many of those games weren’t starts.

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In the immortal words of Dave Chappelle, “turn the left speaker up!”  Speaking of Chappelle, at least we weren’t drinking during this Podcast!  Well, probably not…  We’ve got even more new equipment in our new studio, so Grey is a little quiet which may or may not be because his hyena laugh breaks everyone’s stereos…  We’ll have it perfect next episode!  On today’s show, we talk buy/sell targets in the outfield with Nelson Cruz‘s value, if Shane Greene‘s horrific 4th start makes him droppable, and we mention our RCL Perts league way too much.  Grey just likes making fun of Aramis Ramirez any chance he gets!  He’s Grey’s walking punchline, kinda like fantasy baseball’s version of Amanda Bynes.  We still love you, Manders!  Maybe she’s a notorious slow starter too, but she gets really excited-then-confused when you mention a Mendoza line…  Here’s the newest edition of the Razzball Baseball Podcast:

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Greetings one and all…oh who am I kidding. Greetings the one that is all. Thanks for reading! So, in full truthiness, I went and googled ‘Full Nelson’. I always gotta check myself before I wreck myself. I had always heard the term with regards to wrestling. Well, not real wrestling. The kind where the big steroid guys shouted the loud, funny words before taking a chair up the backside of their head from Captain Lou Albano. Seriously, that shizz was like stage ballet for meatheads. But back to the point, I found out it does pertain to wrestling (score one for my tattered mind) but also no one knows where the term actually comes from. Meanwhile, the pitcher I’m spotlighting today seems to have come from obscurity as well…hrm, I guess I should’ve just queued the awkward segue because that was, uh, awkward. Neverthewho, Jimmy Nelson wasn’t extremely high on many radars coming into the year. Oh sure, known entity deep sleeper type stuff but everyone said the same thing about him: He can’t get out lefties. So far, that adage has not held true as he’s held them to a .205 wOBA on the year to go with a .195 against righties. Now all the numbers say an adjustment is due as his ERA is a full 2 runs below his xFIP but how many pitchers are really 1.35 ERA pitchers? And that adjustment doesn’t have to all happen in one start, especially against a Reds team that is near the bottom in wRC+ so far this year. In short, he’s pitching like a pitcher who can pitch well and that’s all we need in this crazy little game of ours. At $6,900, he makes it easy to get in a quality high priced arm without skimping the hitting budget. So break out your Hulkamaniac shirt and bring your opponents to the matt with this Nelson. But enough about wrestling, it’s time for my hot takes on the DK Monday afternoon slate…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 25 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It seems loud and clear that the roof is closing on Adam Wainwright‘s season. If only he had a 3rd Achilles he could sub in! We should be able to have a schadenfreude party since I told everyone not to draft him this year, but there’s always a few people who still draft him against my wishes, so do we ignore these people and still schadenfreude or do we show pity? *thinks for a millisecond* We schadenfreude party! The schadenfreude party is being held in the superiority complex. Put up the pinata of someone’s ego that is smarter, prettier, funnier or richer and we beat it down! Put on some tunes and let’s do the Point and Laugh Dance! That’s not the Point and Laugh Dance, that’s the African Anteater Ritual. So, Wainwright’s done for 2015 and Carlos Villanueva, Tyler Lyons or Tim Cooney could step in at first, but this will likely be Marco Gonzales’s job for the majority of the year once he returns from the minor league DL with a shoulder issue. I like Gonzales for very deep leagues, especially NL-Only ones, so if you have room, I’d grab him. He’s around a 7+ K/9, low-2 BB/9 guy that could have a 3.75 ERA or under with a good WHIP. Now, you’ll have to excuse me, I’m headed back to the schadenfreude party, hungry for self-satisfaction, eager for some prigs in a blanket! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Never once did I think I would be writing about a creeper older than I am, and yet here I am, talking about Torii Hunter. Being the ageless wonder (or is it the wonder of agelessness, I’m not really sure), he still suits up every day and goes out and plays. I was racking my brain for some kind of analogy for the creeper and I found my inspiration from the Paleolithic 80’s flick Quest for Fire, for like this movie, we are just a bunch of uncivilized men searching for a player to catch fire. So why not a Hunter? Haha…get it? Okay, I’ll stop with the bad jokes. Hey, at least I didn’t do Caveman with Ringo Starr. Come to think of it, Hunter could be considered the Twins Ringo. Doesn’t really matter if he’s there or not. Oh well, the moment has passed and now we move on to why we are here…

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The title says it all gents and 4 ladies; on DraftKings K’s are king. If you’re rolling out starters looking to win $ on ratios alone then you ain’t winning at all. Well maybe you’re winning head to head’s against your Uncle Ruprecht, but he eats with a cork on his fork and has a patch on his eye. Therein lies today’s lesson, target the high K guys vs. the high K lineups. It just so happens we have two high K/9 guys going today against teams with 20%+ K percentages. Grand, I know. One of these strikeout studs just so happens to be Razzball favorite and Grey Novio Carlos Carrasco. Over the past two starts, C-Dub has been about as lucky as one could be. First taking a line drive off the cabeza, and then getting pulled from his last start due to tightness. Well it looks like Carrasco should be back on the mound again today against the Tigers. Don’t get me wrong, starting a pitcher vs Miggy and company is not for the faint of heart, but here’s my thinking. 1. There’s a pretty good chance his ownership levels are lower than usual due to his opponent, and 2. 14.29….That’s his K/9. Yes 14.29. If he can get into the 6th or 7th you’re looking at 10 K’s minimum. The price of $9,000 is the highest of the day but well worth it when you consider the potential upside.

Wait Ralph you promised us two high K rate pitchers with matchups vs 20%+ K percentage teams. Who’s the other guy? Hold your horses kemosabe and I’ll tell you. It’s none other than Mr. Blue Sky himself Lance Lynn. Why is Lance Lynn Mr. Blue Sky? No idea but it’s my story and I can say what I want. Well anyway Lance faces the Brewers, a team that K’s at a rate of 23.6%, and thus far on the young season Lynn is punching out batters at a rate of 10.38 per 9. Not bad right? Even better is the threat of the Brewers blowing up for a huge offensive day is on the unlikely side of not going to happen. How bad are the Brewers at scoring runs? Only the Phillies have less runs scored than the Brewers and I’m pretty sure they’ve been starting guys that died 4 years ago in the bottom half of their lineup. Lynn’s price tag checks in at $8,800, hardly the type of gap that’s going to prohibit you from filling your lineup with beefy bats.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 25 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Every other week Razzball ranks the prospects closest to contributing to your fantasy roster. The list is limited to players who still have rookie eligibility (less than 130 at bats or 50 innings pitched) and who are currently in the minor leagues. It’s not a list based on talent alone, but rather it’s a mixture of talent and opportunity. It will change frequently over the course of the season as prospects graduate to the majors, injuries occur, or service time roadblocks are passed. Here are the top 15 prospects on the cusp of the major leagues for 2015 fantasy baseball…

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In a time long ago, when men were men and athletes freely used performance enhancing drugs to little or no consequences, there was a gameshow. A show that celebrated such athletes both male and female, athletes that invested their time, money, and focus into becoming the most gargantuan human beings they could become. On this show they matched average everyday sclubbs against these well built steroid fueled warriors in feats of strength and agility. What is this show pray-tell? Well of course it’s a little show called American Gladiators. Ever heard of it? No young-ins, I’m not talking about that gross bastardization of a program that was on 7-8 years ago, I’m talking the genuine article. The flag waving, patriotic leotard rocking, testosterone train ride, where the women had high hair and the type of muscles that would have you asking them to open the olive jar. The early 90’s were a simpler time friends.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Not quite a done deal just yet, but it’s looking like Josh Hamilton is heading home on the Rangers, as the Angels have agreed to pay the majority of Hamilton’s giant contact in exchange for Hamilton agreeing to get the heck out of Dodge. The trade would certainly qualify as Woody’s rootin-est, tootin-est, roundup in the wild, wild west so far this season. The least cynical of all my multiple personalities would certainly like to believe if Josh Hamilton can get back on track anywhere, it’d be with the Rangers in Texas. Yee-haw, we’ve hog-tied us a Hamilton! As a Rangers fan, you’ve got to be happy with any news that doesn’t concern Adrian Beltre’s age, Yu Darvish’s injury, Prince Fielder’s weight, or Elvis Andrus’ suckiness. In five years with Texas, Josh Hamilton batted .305 with 142 home runs and over 500 RBI, including his 2010 MVP season where he hit 32 homers and batted .359 with a .633 SLG%. Well, howdy there, partner! However, Josh managed just 32 homers and a .255 AVG in two injury-riddled seasons with Anaheim. The L.A. air just wasn’t agreeing with him. It was the traffic wasn’t it? Yeah, well, you deal with it because the weather is perfect and the tacos are awesome. Currently on the shelf recovering from shoulder surgery, J-Hammies is due back sometime in June and is available in most leagues. I grabbed him in a few leagues where I had a DL spot to spare, and I’d suggest you do the same. Here’s to hoping he can recapture some of the thrill, the romance and the magic that those hot summer nights in Texas can bring to the bat.

Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Saturday’s games gives us intriguing SP options with Bauer, Alfredo Simon, and Anthony DeSclafani. Heading that list is Trevor Bauer with his clever and catchy Twitter handle, @BauerOutage. All three of these SP’s have started 2015 very strong. Today’s match-ups really have me focused on whether they are legit SP’s in DFS, or have they just got off to lucky starts. I’ll continue to say your two SP’s need to be strikeout pitchers. Meaning, don’t play a pitcher that has far less K’s per IP, or has a high WHIP. Go ahead and pay the big bucks for the SP’s. However, you can’t always start two SP’s that are $10,000+ and will eat up a huge portion of your salary. The aforementioned SP’s prices have good value. But my biggest struggle is, do I keep plugging them in or are they going to get destroyed by a good opponent? Of the three, Bauer is the only pitcher that at one point was a top pitching prospect. He was highly touted out of UCLA, and the Diamondbacks drafted him third overall in the 2011 MLB Draft. Bauer also won the Golden Spikes Award as the nation’s top amateur player. The Diamondbacks gave up on him pretty fast and traded him to the Cleveland Indians. He’ll get his biggest test of 2015 today against the Detroit Tigers. Anthony DeSclafani was once a top prospect in the Marlins organization, and was a key piece to the trade involving Mat Latos. He pitched 33 Innings for the Marlins in 2014, and those numbers are not impressive at all. So if you want to rollout a SP whose name you can’t pronounce, don’t look it up. Realize that he isn’t an ultra-talented rookie that has come out of nowhere. The player I can’t help but compare him to the most is Jacob deGrom. Like DeSclafani, deGrom was somewhat of a top prospect in the Mets organization, but no one expected this type of skill at the major league level. It’s still too early to make that comparison, but DeSclafani’s hot start has me thinking in that direction. As for Alfredo Simon, he came on last year with the Cincinnati Reds. His overall numbers in 2014 were good, but he fizzled out a bit at the end. Now with the Tigers in 2015, he’s off to another good start, and although the Indians haven’t looked great so far, it’ll be a good match-up to see if Simon is a legit DFS option every week. Don’t be afraid to start two SP’s that face each other, as Bauer and Simon do today. Although you would only be able to potentially get one win, if the strikeouts pile up, so will your DraftKings score.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?