Captain Nimmo And 100 Razzball Posts By Me

This marks my 100th post here at the Razzball baseball blog and I must say how thankful I am that I have a home at a blog where I can provide below average fantasy baseball analysis while referencing Jules Verne, Scientology, Jon Snuh and ayahuasca all in the same post. It’s been a wild couple a years and I outlasted many a writer I didn’t think I’d outlast. Remember when the Guru disappeared in a van? Remember Razzball TV on the Radio? And what ever happened to Kenyon!? That guy was hilarious. I remember when Grey first found me. I was trying to get my Harry Potter erotica/fan fiction off the ground and writing signs for homeless people to make a quick buck. “Why Lie I Need A Beer,” ever see that one? Yep, that’s a Dan Pants original. Grey said he could use my talents to express undying love for shortstops named Xander and tell people they shouldn’t own two catchers. The rest is history, folks. Special thanks to Grey, Rudy, and Jay. Not Tehol though–[expletive deleted] that guy. But enough about me, you’re here for the sub-par fantasy advice. The New York Mets (lol, Joakim Noah!) called up rookie Brandon Nimmo last Sunday and after going 0-for-4 in his debut, he’s hit safely in his past five games. He’s led off for NY the past two games and responded in a big way last night going 2-for-3 with a 3-run home run (a 440 foot shot). Curtis Granderson remains hobbled and with Michael Conforto “working things out” in the minors Brandon has been given an opportunity to shine at the top of the order. He slashed .328/.409/.508 with five homers and five steals in 63 games AAA this year. If you are looking for an outfielder in NL-Only and deeper mixed leagues you might consider finding Nimmo on your waiver wire.

Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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See all of today’s starting lineups

#	MLB Starting Lineups For Mon 8/4
	ARI \| ATL \| BAL \| BOS \| CHC \| CIN \| CLE \| COL \| DET \| HOU \| KC \| LAA \| LAD \| MIA \| MIL \| MIN \| NYM \| NYY \| PHI \| PIT \| SD \| SF \| STL \| TB \| TEX \| TOR \| ATH \| CHW \| OAK \| SEA \| WSH

DraftKings: Do You Nova Way To San Jose…er Diego?

July 2, 2016 | DraftKings | 1 Comment

by: Sky

Am I the only person who watched Helix and actually liked it? I mean, I never saw it on actual cable but caught up with the two seasons before they were cancelled and thought they were highly enjoyable for what they were. But most of all, it was the use of the music that nabbed me, right from the pilot episode. The intro drop is a great mix of 50s pop sounds mixed with modern synth sounds. It may only be 10 seconds but it really sets you up for the feel of the show. By that I mean they took a Burt Bacharach song sung by Dione Warwick and made it stick in my head and dammit, I’m gonna stick it into your noodle, too. Don’t pervert that last sentence…but more back to why I’m yammering on about Helix was I’m of course referencing said song in my title about Ivan Nova and him facing the Padres. I see zero reason to pitch Nova in this scenario in cash – he is, in fact, not good at pitching – but in a points per dollar sort of way, I like the idea of rolling Ivan out there against a team that owns the second worst wRC+ against right handed pitching on the year, just above the Braves. Throw in the fourth highest K rate against said handedness and there’s potential for 20 points here from a bottom of the barrel pitcher. But now that we’ve established the good, the cheap, and the ugly all at once, let’s cover the rest of the slate. Here’s my love, sweet love hot taeks for this Saturday DK slate…

New to DraftKings? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday July 4th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Closer Report, Week 13: My Father The Fish

July 2, 2016 | Closers, Middle Relievers | 29 Comments

by: Smokey

So this year, like so many before, the closer trade market is always an interesting cocktail mixer of events that shake things up. The Padres waited to be first, which makes zero sense… but also makes total sense. A conundrum wrapped in bacon as they traded Fernando Rodney to the ever more deadly bullpen in Miami. He will not be closing there, but will basically make that bullpen just deeper and taking value away from great holds guys on the year in David Phelps and Kyle Barraclough. Rodney brings his glistening 1 earned run on the year, to a situation behind the Marlins closer A.J. Ramos, who hasn’t blown a save to date. So now the ramifications don’t just stay with the Marlins, their bullpen is solid. The Padres, however, are like the movie Thinner, a cursed bunch of unprovens, which is sometimes good and bad. Ryan Buchter is the first guy up, as he has carved out a decent set-up niche there. After that, it is a bunch of Quacks, Villas, and BM’s. Buchter has the K-rate, just not the pedigree… yet, to be a closer. He has the job as they say in fantasy, which is better than being fantasy homeless or unemployed. So Buchter is the add. Maurer and Quackenbush are on ready five. Here what else is happening in the game of final bosses. Have a safe and Happy 4th of July weekend!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Flaunt Your Power And Buy The Judge

July 1, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 439 Comments

by: Grey

At some point soon, the Yankees have to say to themselves, “Are we this stupid of an organization? We have a guy that is doing The Mashed Potato in the minors. Look at this…” Then a pile of balls that Aaron Judge hit are piled on the table, but instead of balls, they now look like mashed potatoes with stitches weaving throughout. “No, we didn’t have Lyle’s mom from accountant make a very long string of maraschino cherry stems tied together with her mouth. Those are baseballs with stitches that have been mashed by Judge.” One younger exec picks at a piece of mashed potato-baseball. “Stop picking at your food and eat it!” The young exec puts a piece of gummy baseball into his mouth. “I was kidding, you fool, it’s a baseball! You don’t eat that!” This has to happen soon. Aaron Judge is not getting any younger. Unlike me, I was 35 last year, and am 27 this year. Right now, he’s 24 years old and crushing pink cookies in Triple-A. The Yanks are nine games back and Tokyo drifting. No one on their team is young. Best move for them is to trade everyone or start benching guys to play Judge. Oh, and why do we care? Because Judge has Giancarlo-type power. He could hit 15 homers in a month. Fo’reallies. I have him stashed in one 12-team league, and I’d stash him in any league where I needed power. His time is nigh! Which sounds like something a Nazi would say, but it just means near. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Points Leagues: No He Won’t “Back” Down

July 1, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Points Leagues | 8 Comments

by: malamoney

Not even a back injury can keep Clayton Kershaw from the top spot in my points leagues rankings. I thought about going with “He’ll Be Back” as my title considering his current DL designation, but I’m not really sure of the extent of his injury. However, Clayton Kershaw can probably get you more points while on the disabled list than several other pitchers whom are not. That’s actually a true statement considering multiple pitchers have turned in negative performances. Edinson Volquez, Eduardo Rodriguez, Dan Straily and James Shields are among those that have recently subtracted points from their teams’ totals. Plus, then I would have had to fill this post with both Arnold Schwarzenegger and Terminator references.

Last week I promised I’d focus on pitchers in the following week. Today is next week. It almost feels like time travel. Weird. Since I am a man of my word, here you go. Like last week, today’s pitcher rankings are based 70 percent on year-to-date performance, 30 percent on rest of season projections and 10 percent on experimental formulas.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

DraftKings: Jaime A River

July 1, 2016 | DraftKings, Fantasy Baseball DFS | 5 Comments

by: MattTruss

span style=”font-weight: 400;”>This was supposed to be a day filled with Clayton Kershaw against the Rockies. That was the de facto cash game play, who you paired with him was a game of “Don’t Break The Ice”. Now, with Kershaw down and out with an apparent childbirth (epidural), it’s more like a game of russian roulette picking your starters. So, let’s close up, give it a spin and in chamber one, we’ve got Jaime Garcia vs. the Milwaukee Brewers. I always like to lean towards a pitcher who’s at home, check one in the positive column for Garcia. Another positive is the Brew Crew’s strikeout rate. They currently have the second most strikeouts in all of baseball. Generally, the Brewer’s offense is a bit scary (top 10 home OPS), but get them away from Miller Park and the bats go quiet (5th worst away OPS). Jaime has been a bit all over the map this year, but his 3.54 FIP and 3.74 xFIP (compared to 4.09 ERA) suggest he’s been getting a tad unlucky. For the low price of $7,900, Jaime will be my staff anchor on a night where the options are far from safe. Here’s what else is loaded in our DraftKings six shooter tonight:

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday July 4th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Kershaw To DL As Pain From Playoff Berth Push Requires Epidural

July 1, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 348 Comments

by: Grey

The sixth inning of every home Clayton Kershaw start isn’t going to be the same. No longer will Angelenos be filing in as if it’s the first, suddenly realizing that Kershaw is pitching, but now they will be stuck talking about everything but baseball for the entirety of the game and not simply 95% of it. “Ma, can I keep score on the back of my headshot?” “We’re not here to see the game, Timmy, we’re here to run into commercial directors. This is where Stew’s mom got him that Tropicana commercial. You want to pay my bills, don’t you?” “Sorry, ma.” Like the oral sex scene in The World According to Garp, it’s a devastating blow losing Kershaw for any amount of time. He was diagnosed with a herniated disc, but won’t require surgery. The Dodgers are hoping he’s back (poor choice of words) from the DL right after the All-Star Game. I’d pray with you, but I’m using my hands to clap for not drafting a pitcher in the 1st round. The Dodgers did pick up Bud Norris in a trade to fill in. Won’t see any fall off there! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Bear or Bull: Johnny Cueto Is An Ace, No?

June 30, 2016 | 2023 Fantasy Baseball | 37 Comments

by: Big Magoo

Johnny Cueto has been a controversial player in Major League Baseball for quite some time. There was that ugly Jason LaRue incident during a Cardinals/Reds on-field brawl in 2010 in which Cueto repeatedly kicked LaRue in the head and ultimately forced the former catcher to retire prematurely. Of course, there’s also the issue of his extremely unorthodox windup that has been compared by some to that of former Red Sox pitcher Luis Tiant, the legality of which has been questioned in recent years. However, one thing that hasn’t been questionable is Cueto’s results this year. In his first season with the Giants after signing a six-year, $130 million deal last offseason, Cueto has been one of the best pitchers in baseball during the first few months of 2016. His 11 wins are more than any pitcher in MLB outside of Chris Sale and Jake Arrieta. His 2.42 ERA is the 8th lowest among qualified starting pitchers. His 1.79 BB/9 rate is the 11th lowest in baseball. He’s giving up fewer home runs (0.31 HR/9) than any other starter. The question is: can Cueto maintain this impressive production?

Let’s take a look at Cueto’s profile to determine what can be expected from him during the remainder of the 2016 season. Here are a few observations:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2016 REL Dynasty League Update: Week 13

June 30, 2016 | Razzball Elite League | 9 Comments

by: JB Gilpin

Another week is in the books in the Razzball Elite League, as we’re right at the halfway point through the first REL season. Hard to believe! Two teams are fighting for World Series appearances to become the fabled inaugural REL champ, and after ceding the top spot last week, The Orange Birds reclaimed their throne over the Blue Jays in an epic battle of the birds in the AL. The Aviary League! Bada bing. I have dad jokes! In the NL, the Nationals continue to dominate, with the San Fran Giants still clipping at the Cubs heels [paws] jostling for second place. Here’s how week 13 went down in the 2016 REL League, plus a look-in at the REL 2 League with how it’s shaping up:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

DraftKings: Bum’s Aces

June 30, 2016 | DraftKings |

by: wheyen3

Sometimes it is hard to go for the highest price pitcher of the day. Today, the highest price is $13K for Madison Bumgarner, and we don’t even get to use his hitting stats. However, on a day against the weak offense of the rivals across the bay, there is no reason to avoid the big horse tonight. He is as safe as they come, with no doubts in my mind about his ability to give you at least seven strong innings with a win. Oftentimes, picking a pitcher like this leads to “weaker” hitters; on any given day, those weaker hitters can outperform the best of them. Given that MadBum is the safest, lowest risk guy on the board, having to take a few chances on hitters is totally worth the price.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday July 4th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Thor Should’ve Known Better To Cheat Fans About Careless Bone Spur

June 30, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 574 Comments

by: Grey

Yesterday, Noah Syndergaard admitted to having an elbow bone spur after denying it multiple times. Terry Collins said, “No one would know our business if it wasn’t for giving the PR job to a puppy dog! Ruff ruff! Come here, Fido, I wanna spank you with a rolled up newspaper!” This is the 2nd Mets’ starter in two days with elbow spurs. I look forward to the opening round of the playoffs when all of the Mets’ starters are wearing Iron Mike Sharpe elbow pads to hold their arms together. Or they hire John Cusack to marionette their starters. So, this is obviously not good news from Syndergaard, but it’s also not the end of his season. He could opt for surgery if he’s in pain, but he says he’s not in pain (though, he also said he didn’t have elbow spurs up until yesterday). Jon Lester has pitched through elbow spurs for the last five years. It’s not uncommon for starters to power through. Would I look to sell Syndergaard low? No. If you can get a healthy, similar starter, then sure, why not? No reason to panic. Unless Syndergaard starts wearing cowboy boots on his elbow. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Don’t Brock Stewart Till You Try It, Fantasy Baseball Prospect

June 29, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Prospects | 73 Comments

by: Geoff

Sometimes things in life don’t work out. Despite your best efforts, some things just aren’t meant to be. Today, my friends isn’t one of those times. No, quite the opposite in fact. Today is one of those days when everything goes right. All the lights you hit are green, everyone greets you with a smile, and you start writing a post about Dodgers farmhand Brock Stewart, and he’s called up. Things rarely turn out this way in life, at least mine, maybe yours is different. I’m going to stop there before this turns into a more self indulgent undertaking than any mid-aughts emo band. My apologies to anyone listening to a Dashboard Confessional song while reading along (P.S. Kick your own ass). Today we’ll take a deeper look at the Dodgers latest rotation member, and see what we can expect from Stewart in the near future. We’ll then close things out with a truncated minor league update, just so I can get some nuggets of info into your heads. We’ll be skipping our usual bi-weekly Minor League Update post this Sunday, for the midseason top 100 fantasy baseball prospects. That’s right! Get excited, we can all argue about my over-ranking, under-ranking, and just general ignorance on your favorite prospects.

Please, blog, may I have some more?