RazzSlam Recap: I Don’t Know What I’m Doing And Neither Does Anyone Else

March 30, 2021 | Our Leagues | 334 Comments

I’m a big fan of the everyman. I consider myself the everyman. I’m every man’s everyman. A pioneer of normcore. Track pants and a blinking light on my car’s dashboard that either means my seatbelt isn’t on or I need oil. That is me. What better way to elevate the Everyman Culture, than to take part in a tourney where no one is smarter than anyone else. Enter the RazzSlam, a Best Ball tourney. Every everyman likely knows what a Best Ball league is, but, if you don’t, it’s when you draft a team and the computer manages it for you by choosing who are your best players, and you get those stats. It’s basically one fantasy league removed from the robots taking over and killing us all. Well, the last laugh is on you robots, there’s a virus beating you to the punch! Kinda love that Razzball is putting on a tourney (hosted by NFBC — thank you!) that no one really has any clue how to strategize against. A true everyman experience. Oh, I’m sure there’s a few people who think they know the best strategy for, uh, Best Ball, and a few of them might be right, but there’s an under 1% chance they know why they’re right, and it isn’t just luck. In some ways, Best Ball leagues are a lot like Best Ball strategies. Throw a ton of them out there and a few good ones will rise to the top through sheer force of players’ performances and nothing you’re actually doing. That’s the fun. Anyway, here’s my RazzSlam, a 42-round, Best Ball 12 team draft recap:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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#	MLB Starting Lineups For Tue 8/5
	ARI \| ATH \| ATL \| BAL \| BOS \| CHC \| CHW \| CIN \| CLE \| COL \| DET \| HOU \| KC \| LAA \| LAD \| MIA \| MIL \| MIN \| NYM \| NYY \| PHI \| PIT \| SD \| SEA \| SF \| STL \| TB \| TEX \| TOR \| WSH \| OAK

Top 100 Starting Pitchers: Preseason Armageddon Edition

March 29, 2021 | Top 100 Starting Pitchers | 59 Comments

by: everywhereblair

I walked down a dark hallway of Razzball Headquarters, some corner I had never been before. The walls were the color of aquarium gravel. I squinted in the dim light to verify that I had the correct office. I knocked on the door and peeked my head inside, seeing the Fantasy Master Lothario himself, Grey Albright, sitting in an office chair behind of a well-built desk. The image of Don Draper in a sweater-vest.

“Everywhere!” he said, wringing his hands excitedly. He put his hand out for a shake. I reached for it, but he pulled his arm back as if almost touching a hot stove. “Nah-ah!” he smiled and wagged his finger. “Not in the time of Covid!”

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Points Leagues: Nostradumba** Version 2.0

March 29, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Points Leagues | 15 Comments

by: malamoney

Nearly five years ago I went live with a post entitled Nostradumba** which was a piece of software I developed to help make fantasy baseball predictions. At first it was a disaster, recommending I draft Reggie Jackson and other inactive players. Realizing that wasn’t going to cut the mustard, I made a few tweaks that seemed to get the system running more smoothly, enabling me to make some less ridiculous dart throws. Earlier this year I cleared out one of my MacBook Pros so that my daughter could use it for remote 2nd grade. The school gave them all sh!tty Chromebooks that might have been less powerful than George Michael’s Sports Machine. While getting the MacBook setup, I found Nostraduma** and decided to bring it back to life. Here’s what it had to say.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Avoiding the Blurbstomp – Season’s Greetings

March 29, 2021 | Avoiding the Blurbstomp | 15 Comments

by: C.A. James

Imagine if you will a Sunday night. The day games have come and gone, and you lazily watch two teams battle under the drone of announcers and commercials. You go to your favorite non-Razzball fantasy site to read the instant analysis of your player’s 3-5, 1 HR, 4 RBI’s, 1 STL performance. You find the blurb, and read the following:

Hank Trucksworth III

Trucksworth had three hits in five chances, drove in four runs, and stole a base in the Twinkies win over the Clubs.

Analysis: Another great game from Trucksworth, although the steal is only his third all season. He remains a solid if uninspiring 4th or 5th OF in deep mixed leagues.

You read the blurb and feel good, though you drafted Trucksworth to be your 3rd OF, and the Caught Stealing stings. You also feel good knowing your leaguemates might read that same blurb, but not feel the White Light/White Heat dopamine blast you just experienced.

Then you read the next blurb.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Patreon Podcast: Digital Farts For Sale

March 29, 2021 | All Podcasts |

by: Donkey Teeth

Razzball Patreon members receive our weekly podcast where Grey cackles about the funniest news stories we’ve found over the past week, plus you get that warm fuzzy feeling of supporting your favorite fantasy sports site in all the land.

It’s your favorite hour of the week! I Can’t Believe It’s Not Not News is back again with all the Billy Hurley jokes and Grey Albright cackles you can handle. First we report on a man selling digital farts for $85 a pop. Then Billy heads to Europe to cover the story of a lecturer fired for the aggressive use of punctuation, plus socially distanced silent ravers in Barcelona. Later we get the scoop on parents blasted by a school for wearing skimpy clothes while picking up their children.

Tune in now for all the laughs and Albright cackles you can handle by signing up for the exclusive Razzball Patreon Club for only $5/month, or upgrade to receive the weekly podcast plus early access to all of Grey’s 2021 fantasy baseball buy/sell posts for just $13/month! This coming week’s buy/sell has already been released!

Watch an NFT fart teaser video below, just a little taste of what you’ll receive by subscribing to the weekly hour long show:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Luke Skylimper

March 29, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 397 Comments

by: Grey

Early on Saturday, I heard the news that Jay Bruce made the Yankees’ Opening Day roster, and I was like, “Cool, if this is 2012.” Then I thought, “Is this 2012? Am I time traveler?” Turned out it was not 2012, and I was not a time traveler. Double bummer there. Somehow, Jay Bruce is still only 33 years old, so he might be a time traveler. After my brief flight of fancy through a time portal that didn’t exist, I thought, “That sucks, keeping Bruce over Tauchman. He can’t catch a break. That’s not the bee’s knees, that’s BS.” Then I thought, “I can just curse in my own head, I don’t need to spell out BS.” Then, out of nowhere, I saw the Yankees were keeping Mike Tauchman on the Opening Day roster too, and things began to peel away from my very logical brain. How were the Yanks keeping three 1st basemen? Was everything fine with Luke Voit? Welp, turned out it wasn’t. The Yankees were watching a triple feature of Luke Skylimper; Luke Cool Hand, But Torn Meniscus and Luke Voit in Meniscus Cowboy. After disowning Angelina Jolie, Voit will be undergoing surgery on his torn meniscus in his knee, and will miss at least April and May. This puts the spotlight on Bruce to reclaim his Glory Days, when every speedball wasn’t thrown right by him. Whereas, Tauchman is interesting in AL-Only leagues, if he can get in the lineup. I’ve added neither to my 2021 fantasy baseball rankings, because they might only be platooning for six to eight weeks. In the top 20 1st basemen, I lowered Luke Voit, taking roughly 200 ABs off his projections. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for 2021 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Points Leagues: Are You A Top Or A Bottom?

March 28, 2021 | Points Leagues | 39 Comments

by: malamoney

During draft season I am frequently faced with a commenter asking me what I think of their freshly drafted team. I wanted to share with you one simple approach that can help you partially answer this question yourself and is also a strategy you can apply on draft day. I call it the “top half/bottom half” approach. I really don’t call it that, but I’ve got nothing better right now, so I’m going with it. Here’s how it works.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Top 25 Second Basemen Rankings

March 28, 2021 | Second Basemen | 17 Comments

by: Jakkers

In just a few short days, the screams of “play ball” will be yelled on baseball fields across Major League Baseball – finally. The darkness of winter is finally giving way to the warmth of the sun and the sounds of baseball. Even better, the cheers of fans will once again be heard in baseball stadiums in anticipation of the first pitch.

The start of the season also means the endless hours spent pouring over statistics and coming up with intricate formulas to create the perfect ranking list for players at each position is coming to an end. Instead, we can all rank a player based on his actual current performance. That gut hunch you had about Gavin Lux will either be proven right, making you look smart for taking him a three rounds ahead of the his ADP, or leave you looking foolish for reaching on an unproven player.

These rankings first appeared more than a month ago, at a time when drafts had yet to happen or were just starting. The rankings weighed several factors – position eligibility, re-draft league value, dynasty league value and just the good ol’ gut hunch factor. With the season nearly here, the top 25 second baseman rankings have some players in new slots and some new players being ranked altogether.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Prospect News: David Peterson, A Big Apple Harvest

March 28, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Prospects | 48 Comments

by: The Itch

Once upon a time, we were uncertain how teams would handle their prospects in this the final season of the Collective Bargaining Agreement between Major League Baseball and the players union.

Today, I feel like everyone could’ve seen this coming.

Given one last chance to squeeze their prospects for an extra year of team control, teams just can’t help themselves. Nico Hoerner will have to stay in the minors for about 37 days to grant the Cubs an extra year on his contract, so that’s that. Easy call. Let’s keep Eric Sogard and Ildemaro Vargas instead, bumping some other more promising pieces off the roster.

Teams act like this is just free money, but that feels like folly if we consider the 41st man and 1st man off the roster who theoretically earned a spot he can’t occupy because of Ildemaro Vargas.

And it doesn’t take into account another big question: will they even want Nico Hoerner six seasons from now? Perhaps his ultimate value is allowing the club to hold onto a promising young arm who might’ve otherwise aged off the 40-man roster.

No time for tears, though. Lots to cover this week.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Top 100 Hitters: The Watch List

March 27, 2021 | Top 100 Hitters | 23 Comments

by: Jeremy Brewer

Over the last few weeks, we have walked through the Top 100 Hitters for the 2021 Fantasy Baseball season. In the early rounds, it is much easier to make a pick that might cost you the season than a pick that will win the season. The middle rounds are often about rounding out your roster and making sure you have some category balance. But when the late rounds come around and it is time thin the herd. This is the time that we conjure our inner Billy Beane searching for the late round values that might be a little rough around the edges, but might just win the league.

In today’s article we will walk through a number of players I have been watching closely in Spring Training and I believe can jump into the top 100 during the season. Each of these players has a dark side, but it is the upside that we will chase.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Favorable Early-Season Schedules

March 27, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Streamers | 11 Comments

by: Torres

“Who freaking cares.” That’s the question I asked myself as I sat down to write the 1,000th bold prediction article that you’re going to see this coming week. Listen, I love those types of articles. But me writing another bold predictions piece is basically like taking a piss in the ocean. It may feel good but it ultimately gets lost in the vast ecosystem, leaving absolutely no impact. I’m not really sure where my piss would have the most impact but I at least want my last article of the pre-season to be of benefit to you, my loyal reader. That’s why this week we’ll be looking ahead at favorable early-season matchups for you to take advantage of. Hold on a sec, let me go take a leak (in a toilet bowl) and then we’ll get started.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ambulance Chasers: E-lord-y Have Mercy

March 27, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Injury Report | 28 Comments

by: JKJ

Hello again, Razzgals/bois.

Welp, odds are you done got rekt this week with some injury news one way or the other, especially if you’ve invested heavily in Blue Jays players and a certain MVP candidate on the White Sox. The latter is true for me. Good news is I have my Hardwood Hogs playing for an Elite 8 berth to look forward to tonight. And honestly, if Oral Roberts shocks the world once again, the March Madness fan in me isn’t gonna 100% hate it. I might cry, but some of those tears will be of joy for ORU. Maybe.

Enough about me. Let’s get to those injuries:

Please, blog, may I have some more?