Asdrubal Cabrera strains his back, and, no “Asdrubal Strains Back” is not a sequel to a sci-fi porn movie. At this time of the year, any little thing can knock people for the remainder of the year. To help you picture what I’m saying, imagine this is April and we’re talking about Morneau. That’s how […]
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International Talk About How The Pirates Can’t Hit Day
September 20, 2011 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 67 Commentsby: Grey
Ian Kennedy loves each and everyone. That’s why he gave you 12 Ks yesterday over 8 innings while only allowing one hit. You say, “No, he doesn’t. He doesn’t even know me. How could he love me?” You remember when you couldn’t find a parking spot at Chick-fil-A last week and you were about to […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Joe Mauer is done for the year with pneumonia. I’m almost 100% sure Morneau was the carrier of the virus. On Friday, frequent commenter Mike said, “If you went to Joe Mauer’s house, went into his basement, jack-hammered through the concrete, and started digging, what would be the under/over on number of feet you’d have […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Them Crooked Save Vultures — Snap, Snap, Claw, Claw, Save
September 16, 2011 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 81 Commentsby: Grey
Snap, snap, claw, claw, save. That’s The Save Vulture Dance. Snap, snap, claw, claw, save… Sing it like it’s The Electric Slide. The save vulture is a scavenger bird. They see weakness in others’ misfortune. A closer goes down or struggles and the save vulture swoops in and gnaws on the closer’s handcuff. Peck, Jim […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? My Baby’s Daddy Is The Melkman
September 16, 2011 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 31 Commentsby: Grey
What a ridonkulous season from Melky Cabrera. Most of youse didn’t even draft him and here he is in September going 4-for-5 with his 18th homer, raising his average to .303 to go along with 18 steals. As they used to say in 14th century China, “Damn, Ming.” The spilled coffee on the saucer that […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Borderline Fantasy Baseball Starters, Week 25
September 15, 2011 | fantasy baseball strategy | 80 Commentsby: Grey
Wouldn’t say this is crunch time as much as this is “Your nuts are in a cracker and the season’s closing in and squeezing tight so you better just throw any pitchers that are available because you need stats — stat!” time. The line for last week was 80 IP, 4.05 ERA, 1.44 WHIP, 50 […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? A Tendon’s Down With Holliday
September 15, 2011 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 31 Commentsby: Grey
Matt Holliday sat out yesterday with a hand-thinga-ma-injury — a tendon or a ligament. Sounds like he’s going to miss the rest of the season, but for right now he’s only out for four (stutterer!) to five days. I’ll tell you what I’m not gonna miss…. Matt Holliday. A .295 average, 1 steal and 22 […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Rolen-Hurty, The Juan Francisco Treat!
September 14, 2011 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 83 Commentsby: Grey
Scott Rolen is out for the season. It’s time to go gorilla! I don’t even know what that means. Random Italicized Voice, no one knows what it means, but it’s provocative! If you got some risk to burn in deeper leagues at corner infidel, get in on Juan Francisco. I talked a bit yesterday about […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Jarrod’s Diet Of Fastballs And Changeups Headed To Arizona
September 13, 2011 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 80 Commentsby: Grey
In the next few days, the Diamondbacks are bringing up their top pitching prospect, Jarrod Parker, to work relief. He’s a starter though, so it’ll be “Parker poseur” for all you indie kids out there with dark-rimmed glasses, smoking American Spirits. In 2009, Stephen wrote, “(His) elbow tightness, that caused him to be DL’d on […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? World Famous Original Ray’s Closer Situation
September 12, 2011 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 105 Commentsby: Grey
On September 7th, Kyle Farnsworth entered a 4-3 game like he had so many times before. No one knows how many times because no one’s bothered to look, or at least no one I’ve come across. This September game was played during the day in Tampa with the temperature listed as: Indoors. When the mercury […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Itser Abouter Timer, Dexter Fowler
September 9, 2011 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 131 Commentsby: Grey
Dexter Fowler has been hotter than a junebug on the back of a furnace’s ass, or some other yokelism. Dexter? I hardly Fowler! Huh? In his last seven games, a .423 average and 2 homers. He’s not good for anything more than the occasional dinger, which only sounds talk between a wife and her friends. […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Andre The Giant Disappointment
September 9, 2011 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 22 Commentsby: Grey
My dinner with Andre is over as Andre Ethier has called it kaput on his season. It wasn’t from a lack of trying, I’ll tell ya that. “Hey, I just want to say how much it means to me to try to help this team win even though I shouldn’t be playing. This is my […]
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