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Twins Making Progress On “A Trade Per Lake” 2022 Resolution

March 14, 2022 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 139 Comments

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*takes long inhale* You smell that? It’s the glorious smell of actual baseball trades mixed with the mold in your mother’s basement! So, the Twins have more irons in the fire than Tigers Woods’s chimney. Since the Sonny Gray deal was self-contained, let’s start there. Sonny Gray was traded to the Twins. Reds have been rebuilding since their last playoff series win in 1995. “This mean Greene?” asks me and Dr. Seuss. First off (after that negging of the Reds), good on the Twins. Gray (him not me) was at the bottom of his perceived value last year after an unlucky year, and, well, you can read about all that at the top 60 starters for 2022 fantasy baseball. All that was standing between him and an uptick in value was less homers allowed, so what better place than the Hubert H. Homerfree Dome? Kinda bummed I haven’t drafted Gray in multiple leagues already. Where’s the self-love?! As for Hunter Greene, moved him up in top 100 starters for 2022 fantasy baseball, and updated the pitchers pairings tool. Didn’t change his projections because still don’t know how many innings he can throw, but he’s in good shape to see the rotation in the landmark case of sooner vs. later.

Then the busy Twins, sent Mitch Garver to the Rangers for Isiah Kiner-Falefa, more on him in a few. The Rangers just need to make deals, whether they’re good for them or not. During the lockout, the Rangers were pulling on their collar, sweating, screaming, “I need to make a deal, man!” They’re like Pookie from New Jack City and their crack pipe is MLB roster moves. Someone needs an intervention, and that someone’s name is Texas Rangers. Not to mention, I understand Israeli Diner-Falafel is less than desirable for fantasy, but he actually made sense on the Rangers. Have the Rangers heard they lost Josh Jung? The Rangers are like a team that doesn’t draft a 3rd baseman for 15 rounds, saying, “3rd base is deep.” At least if the Rangers were going to send away Israeli Diner-Falafel, they could’ve got back Elijah Colavito-Tabouli. With the trade for Mitch Garver, the Rangers realized Jonah Heim was Superbad. Jonah Heim was removed from the 2022 fantasy baseball rankings — Hey, Jonah Heim, Don’t Look Up your name in the rankings! The top 20 catchers for 2022 fantasy baseball was updated for Mitch Garver (due to a better lineup and worse catcher behind him). That rankings post was also briefly updated for Ryan Jeffers, but the Twins weren’t done.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Rock Out Without Your Lockout

March 11, 2022 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 174 Comments

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*takes flight to Nepal, goes sherpa shopping, finds one that I like, but hears it’s sold out, lowers head, then finds out there happens to one more of the sherpas I want in the back, smiles wide, follows the best sherpa in the world up the side of Mt. Everest, reaches the apex, looks around, and screams*

LET’SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS F*********************** GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Sherpa sticks out hand for payment. Me patting pockets, “Do you take Venmo?”

MLB lockout is over. Can I get an amen? Can I get some amen in stirrups?

So, Opening Day is April 7th, and Spring Training will begin on March 13th. Hey, that’s in two days. I better hurry up! By the time you read this, there might be a flurry of free agent moves. Free agents better flurry up! How long do we have to wait to hear Carlos Correa to the Pirates. Dot dot dot. To help move Ke’Bryan Hayes to the Rays for Brett Phillips and cash considerations.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Manfred-Led Lockout All Because He Has Acuña In A Keeper

March 10, 2022 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 94 Comments

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So, this is bad. Two more weeks without baseball. It’s grim to even think about the MLB Twitter account tweeting about Jackie Robinson Day with no baseball being played. That will be the point when yours truly takes the final steps to becoming The Joker. As you can see, my barista has already peaked into my soul.

Gonna be honest with you, things could become dire at Razzball if we don’t have baseball back until May 1st. Writers get paid; vendors get paid; stats are not free; semi-colons are usually fun; this isn’t fun! It would go a long way towards keeping the lights on if you were to grab a $9.99 ad-free subscription, and, incredibly, that gets rid of ads, which is awesome for you. Win-win! Or more wins than deGrom’s projected for. Allow me to demonstrate:

Amazing, right? One second there’s ads, next second, there’s not. Also, I know so much about Prince Charles, huh? So, grab a $9.99 ad-free subscription, if you have the means, no relation to John.

Also, the 2022 fantasy baseball rankings, I did it. I moved Ronald Acuña Jr. up in my top 10 for 2022 fantasy baseball. What’s the most games he’s going to miss now, 15? That sounds like the same as Fun The Jewels with his shoulder. It’s not a jinx if you know it’s going to happen. I learned that from an eye-patched gypsy that hung out with the Peaky f***ing Blinders. I also updated my top 100 for 2022 fantasy baseball and the top 500 for 2022 fantasy baseball. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this preseason for 2022 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

TGFBI Recap: My Team Is More Stacked Than The Phonebooks On Altuve’s Driver Seat

March 9, 2022 | Our Leagues | 20 Comments

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“Hey, kid, welcome to the bigs! Bigs are what we now call the bags, because they’re big. During the lockout of 2022, in effort to fix the game, MLB started using couch cushions at each base and the frame of the couch as home plate. So, in the bigs, you just collect the cushions as you round the bases and put them in the couch to score at home. See, ‘home’ is already there in the name, and the MLB owners were smart enough to realize that. Plus, it helps them reach a new demographic. Kids love furniture.” Wakes with a sudden jolt. Whoa, I was having a nightmare that MLB was in a lockout, and instead of figuring out the financials for both sides, they were making the bases bigger. That wasn’t a nightmare? Oh, crap, I’m going back to sleep. Though, now I kinda understand Rudy’s hitter projections for Oneil Cruz. He’s 7’4″, so bigger bags means he just needs to make one step towards 1st base, hence Cruz’s projected .282 average. So, the TGFBI is an industry league of ‘perts from all different sites, competing against each other. The league is a 30-round draft, 15-team, mixed league with weekly waivers. Kinda like the Draft Champions, 15-team leagues we do at NFBC. By the way, who wants to do another league? I need to draft to fill this pre-pre-preseason. (If you want to compete against me and a few hundred of your worst frenemies, here’s our Razzball Commenter Leagues signups.) So, here’s my 15-team, mixed league, TGFBI draft recap and some thoughts:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

LABR Recap: Adalberto Mondesi And Bobby Witt Jr. And Everything Else Is A Blur

March 8, 2022 | Our Leagues | 35 Comments

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Hey, what’s up, I’m Grey Albright, a big, big fan of the Kansas City Royals. Born and bred in the Kay Cee — blue fo’eva! I only eat turtle, and by ‘turtle’ I mean meat that is slow and low. When someone mentions Chisholm, I think jazz should be more improvisational and lowercase. I like my Dons named Denkinger and my Steves named Balboni. I was born into a powdered blue blanket and I still use it for rallies. A born and blue Royals man! As of this past Saturday. So, I took part in the LABR, 12-team, mixed auction this past weekend and I built a team revolving around two big Royals players, because I have a screw loose, and I cannot not NOT not love me some upside. Unlike most of my ‘pert league recaps, this might actually help youse because it’s a shallower league. Besides being an auction and two catcher, it’s very similar to our RCL leagues (spots available to take on me and all of your worst frenemies, and win prizes; it’s free — sign up for a Razzball Commenter League under that linkie-ma-whosie.) Anyway, here’s my LABR 12-team, mixed league draft recap:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Major Lockout Bummer

March 7, 2022 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 57 Comments

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In solidarity with MLB players, I drove to a cliff on the PCH, overlooking the Pacific Ocean, stepped out of my Sebring while it was still in neutral, locked the doors, and watched as it rolled off the cliff, crashing into the roof of a billionaire’s beachfront home. To illustrate the MLB owners’ position, I went to a Chipotle, and on a sign clearly labeled “pull,” I pushed for hours, screaming, “What happened? Am I locked out? This is totally unfair!” For the fans, I took out a full newspaper ad, pleading for both sides to go back to the negotiating table, and that was seen by the 12 people who still read a hard-copy of the paper. We. Are. United! Which is what I was shouting as I was escorted away from the Delta terminal.

So, no great news has come out about the MLB lockout. I’m not a labor reporter, and won’t bore you while pretending to be. This is an evolving shituation that could change tomorrow or six weeks from now. My guess is there will be movement in the landmark case of sooner vs. later. Hopefully, it won’t last much longer. *wavy lines* The year is 2081. After a 60-year lockout, a deal is finally struck between the 80-year-old player rep, Wander Franco, and Rob Manfred Jr. Jr., the 15-year-old MLB commissioner-slash-influencer who opens graves and harvests human bones for petroleum on TikTok. *wavy lines* Yikes, what kind of dream was that?

If you want this broken down to you in the simplest of terms, I have good news and bad news. The bad news is we already lost one week of games. The good news is you’re not Rob Manfred.

“It’s all about the fans.” — Rob Manfred, walking past a store that sells ceiling fans. What if Rob Manfred’s real job was to make Bud Selig look good in retrospect? Makes ya think, huh? Ain’t sayin’ anything groundbreaking here, but when MLB owners aren’t losing money by losing games, the system is broken.

Okay, back to fantasy, as I said last week, I was updating my 2022 fantasy baseball rankings, but later on I discussed it with Rudy and we’re holding tight for now, because, honestly, one week missed of games isn’t going to change anything. Two weeks isn’t really anything, either. Later this week, maybe I’ll change my mind and remove a couple weeks from the projections. Maybe I’ll leave the positional rankings’s projections on a 162-game scale and only change my top 500. A few players might actually be benefited by the lockout, and there was some news. So, let’s get on the other side of this “Anyway,” and get to it. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2022 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Byron Buxton, 2022 Fantasy Schmohawk

March 4, 2022 | Fantasy Baseball Overrated | 69 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”951684″ player=”13959″ title=”Rzbl2022%20Busts” duration=”200″ description=”undefined” uploaddate=”2022-02-06″ thumbnailurl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/thumb/951684_t_1644171255.png” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/951684.mp4″]

When someone says “therefore” in real-life conversation, you know they’re full of shit. Byron Buxton‘s 2022 projections are a big, giant “therefore.” People are expecting him to “therefore” for six months straight. He will need to beat the longest previous “therefore,” which was Luke Voit in 2020. The longest “therefore” in history is O.J. Simpson from birth until June of 1994. A “therefore”record that might not ever be broken. Some say that OJ’s “therefore” is the Cal Ripken consecutive game streak of therefores. A “therefore” to end all therefores. Therefores happen, don’t get me wrong. I therefore’d once in conversation. Was out to dinner with Cougs, and a couple we were with was talking about how their sister was doing an upcoming Ted Talk — an actual Ted Talk, not my dog, Ted, talking, which would actually be the best Ted Talk ever — and this friend’s sister was about to do a Ted Talk about ants, and I said, “Don’t tell me anymore. Your sister is giving the Ted Talk? Therefore, I will be watching.” And, boy, was I lying my ass off! Like I’m watching a Ted Talk, let alone one about ants! See, “therefore” is the giveaway. Next time you’re hanging with your friends say “therefore” and those friends, if they’re real friends, will no longer be friends with you, because you will be lying to them. Friends keep it real. They will stop being friends with some friends like ones using “therefore” in conversation. So, last year, Byron Buxton’s statline was 50/19/32/.306/9 in 235 ABs, and his projections are saying therefore/therefore/therefore/therefore/therefore. Therefore, please just stop the lies. So, what can we expect from Byron Buxton for 2022 fantasy baseball and what makes him overrated?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

George Springer, 2022 Fantasy Schmohawk

March 3, 2022 | Fantasy Baseball Overrated | 38 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”951684″ player=”13959″ title=”Rzbl2022%20Busts” duration=”200″ description=”undefined” uploaddate=”2022-02-06″ thumbnailurl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/thumb/951684_t_1644171255.png” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/951684.mp4″]

So, wasn’t expecting to write a George Springer overrated post. Didn’t seem like a guy who could possibly be overrated. What’s to overrate? You know him and he just missed half of last season, and he always misses time. Why is he even overrated? I’m having a hard time figuring that out. His Steamer projections from us are 100/32/85/.257/7 in 524 ABs. Don’t think any of those numbers are unattainable. I have him down for 91/27/63/.246/7 in 503 ABs. So, few less homers; same steals; little less average; counting stats are what they are. My problem is. Dot dot dot. Pause for effect. Dramatic sting. Why is that being drafted in the top 50 overall? If I told you I had a 27/7/.250 hitter, you’d say to me, “That’s a pretty cool story, bro, is it Anthony Rizzo?” And I’d say to you, “No, it’s George Springer,” and you’d say, “No, it’s not, but cool way to disguise Anthony Santander, Broseph,” and I’d say, “I’m not your Broseph, I’m being serious. Are you only able to guess Anthony names?” And you’d say, “Easy, Chilly Wills, is it Eduardo Escobar,” and I’d say, “No, CHILLY WILLS! IT’S GEORGE SPRINGER?!” And you’d say, “I think you suddenly went deaf because you started screaming,” and I’d say, “I’m no longer having this conversation,” and you’d say, “Is it Eddie Rosario?” And I’d throw you off the horsey we were sharing on this carousel of thoughts. So, what can we expect from George Springer for 2022 fantasy baseball and what makes him overrated?

Psyche! So, yesterday, I said I was updating my 2022 fantasy baseball rankings, but later on I discussed it with Rudy and we’re holding tight for now, because, honestly, one week missed of games isn’t going to change anything. What, I’m gonna remove three runs, three RBIs and four-tenths of a homer and steal? Next week, we’ll reevaluate and potentially take two weeks of stats off the projections, or something else, yet to be considered. Next week, I’ll also do a state of the game roundup and discuss Acuña, Kershaw, and others. Anyway II, why is George Springer is overrated?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

RazzSlam Recap: Seiya? I’m Going To Swing From The Chandelier

March 2, 2022 | Our Leagues | 84 Comments

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I’m a big fan of the everyman. I consider myself the everyman. I’m every man’s everyman. A pioneer of normcore. Track pants and a blinking light on my car’s dashboard that either means my seatbelt isn’t on or I need oil. That is me. What better way to elevate the Everyman Culture, then to take part in a tourney where no one is smarter than anyone else. Enter the RazzSlam, a Best Ball tourney. Every everyman likely knows what a Best Ball league is, but, if you don’t, it’s when you draft a team and the computer manages it for you by choosing who are your best players, and you get those stats. It’s basically one fantasy league removed from the robots taking over and killing us all. Well, the last laugh is on you robots, cholesterol is beating you to the punch! Kinda love that Razzball is putting on a tourney (hosted by NFBC — thank you!) that no one really has any clue how to strategize. A true everyman experience. Oh, I’m sure there’s a few people who think they know the correct strategy for Best Ball, and a few of them might be right, but there’s an under 1% chance they know why they’re right, and it isn’t just luck. In some ways, Best Ball leagues are a lot like Best Ball strategies. Throw a ton of them out there and a few good ones will rise to the top through sheer force of players’ performances and nothing you’re actually doing. That’s the fun. Anyway, here’s my RazzSlam, a 42-round, Best Ball 12 team draft recap:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Walker Buehler, 2022 Fantasy Schmohawk

March 1, 2022 | Fantasy Baseball Overrated | 82 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”951684″ player=”13959″ title=”Rzbl2022%20Busts” duration=”200″ description=”undefined” uploaddate=”2022-02-06″ thumbnailurl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/thumb/951684_t_1644171255.png” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/951684.mp4″]

So, if you’re keeping a mental note of all the pitchers I don’t like, you might realize from the Anime Grey videos, Julio Urias is one of them. Now, I’m throwing in Walker Buehler. Trevor Bauer’s a big ol’ piece of garbage, and the only person ranking Max Muncy lower than me is Madison Bumgarner. Chris Taylor’s never done nothing for me no matter his position eligibility! I’m going to become the biggest hate spewer in SoCal! I’m going to put on my Vin Scully jersey and tell everyone it’s for Scully from The X Files. Just to insult them! I’m going to go to Dodgers games — fifteen minutes early — just to show them up! I’m going to tell everyone that will listen that Nathan’s hot dogs are better than Dodger dogs! I’m going to tell everyone that Dodgers’ superfan Mary Hart’s legs weren’t that spectacular! I’m going to tell everyone that Dodgers’ superfan Larry King is still alive…on Epstein’s island! I’m gonna tell them Clayton Kershaw isn’t a Hall of Famer and that I once saw Sandy Koufax eat pork! I’m the biggest hater in Los Angeles! But, now, about Walker Buehler. Sigh. I’m not going to run through why I would never draft a top starter. I wouldn’t, but this post isn’t about that. Wrote about that across 15,000 words in the top 20 starters for 2022 fantasy baseball. I won’t be drafting a top starter or Walker Buehler, but I can dislike Walker Buehler on his own. Brave! So, what can we expect from Walker Buehler for 2022 fantasy baseball and what makes him overrated?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Nolan Arenado, 2022 Fantasy Schmohawk

February 28, 2022 | Fantasy Baseball Overrated | 28 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”951684″ player=”13959″ title=”Rzbl2022%20Busts” duration=”200″ description=”undefined” uploaddate=”2022-02-06″ thumbnailurl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/thumb/951684_t_1644171255.png” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/951684.mp4″]

I went back to my room at the Radisson. (This is not a sponsored post.) I laid my head down. Lied my head down? Ya know, because I was lying to the doorman when he asked if I had friends. It was none of his business. Plus, what was he doing in my room? Did each room at the Radisson have a doorman? I asked him that, then asked that he show himself out. After tucking me in. The tucking, the doorman did. It was so tight it was suffocating. I could barely breathe. So, I jostled around in the bed like a caterpillar shedding its skin, would I become a butterfly? Likely, yes. I was able to get one hand out of the tucked-in sheet and grab the mechanical claw I had on the nightstand that I used to feed myself grapes, so I could imagine I was a Russian prince. After the grape dropped into my mouth, I reached, with the mechanical claw, to grab a twenty dollar bill to light on fire to start myself a cigar. Earlier that day, I withdrew my life savings in twenties, and placed them precariously on the window sill. Hmm, I thought, if I lit a cigar in this non-smoking room, I might want to open the window first–

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Torendao!!!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

NL West: DHs for 2022 Fantasy Baseball

February 24, 2022 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 58 Comments

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In the last of the series where we (I) cover the incoming NL DH class of 2022 fantasy baseball, we turn our lovely eyes West to the NL West, and today we’re joined by the great Pacific Northwesterner, Edger Martines. Edgar Martinez, Mariners’ Hall of Fame DH, wasn’t available, so I searched an online database for someone who sounds like him and who lives in Seattle.

“So, Edger Martines, what was it like being a DH? Anything these new NL DHs can gleam?”
“I work at a Chipotle.”
“That’s great! I love their rice.”

To find our NL East DH fantasy baseball recap-a-thingie click that link, and to find our NL Central DH fantasy baseball whose-he-whats-is click that. So, who are the best candidates for DH on the NL West teams, and what can we expect from them for 2022 fantasy baseball?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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