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Chisholm Hits A HR For Each Of His Jazz Hands

September 21, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 109 Comments

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In the late-90s, I worked as an au pair in The Bahamas, one of my favorite gigs post-college. I remember watching an eighteen-month-old Jasrado Prince Hermis Arrington Chisholm Jr. I would put on John Coltrane, on his baby finger, because I didn’t have a record player, and I would spin the record real fast so it made sound, and little Jasrado Prince Hermis Arrington would giggle. One time, while I was balancing the record on his finger, I went by the window to smoke a jay, closing the window so not to lose any of that puff. When I was finished, I returned to Baby Jasrado Prince Hermis Arrington’s finger again to spin the record, and, when I did, he was wearing dark sunglasses, and a beret and I said to his parents, “You should call him Monica Lewinsky,” and they nodded, saying, “They would take it under advisement.” Always felt like they were patronizing me. I wonder what they ended up nicknaming him–Wait a minute! Could that baby have been Jazz Chisholm Jr.? Nah, that would be way too coincidental. Yesterday, Jazz did exactly what makes him so special, going 2-for-4, 3 runs, 3 RBIs with a double slam (16. 17) and legs (22). Jazz is one of my most highly anticipated guys for 2022. His strikeouts (29%) are a little high, but an inflated BABIP (.330-ish) evens out his average at .250 and that feels like it will easily repeat or get better, and I’m counting on better. In 2022, he is a handful of guys who could go 25/25. And that’s a small handful. Like a baby hand that can play a Jazz record. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Put On Your Ray-Baz Before Looking at Tampa’s Shaney New Toy

September 20, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 223 Comments

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With austere white hair and a black turtleneck, Shane Baz Luhrmann, one of the Rays’ top pitching prospect, spoke in a deep German accent, “Now, it’s time on Sprockets when I’m called up to the dance,” and, with that, Shane Baz and a monkey danced around in the press conference to announce his promotion to the majors. The Rays decided to add some intrigue into the final two weeks of the season, calling up, Shane Baz who can touch 100 MPH. That’s miles per hour not the number of Moulin Rouges per hour you can watch when they’re on fast forward. That’s six. In Itch’s latest top 100 fantasy baseball prospects, he had Shane Baz coming in at 37th overall. As Prospector Geoff said a few years ago, “Baz is a fire-balling Texan with a varied stable of offerings. His fastball is a plus pitch featuring a velocity range between 91-98, with two plane movement. It’s a pitch he really has feel for, which is why the variance is so great with the pitch’s velocity. Baz’s pitchability and feel are truly impressive for a prep player. His ability to take something off, and reshape his pitches gives him two distinctive plus offerings in his high 80’s cutter and low-mid 80’s slider. He also features an average curveball, and a work in progress change that shows encouraging run. Baz’s talent is in good hands in the Pirates organization.” And I am laughing very loudly at that last part. Yes, the Pirates traded him to the Rays. Why? Because the Pirates know no (stutterer!) limits to their tanking. In all leagues, I’d grab Baz to try to catch lightning in a bottle. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Can I Phone In A Buy Title For Siri?

September 17, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 157 Comments

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(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)

Accidentally claimed Jose Siri in one league by holding down my iPhone home button, but, as I always say, it’s better to be lucky than good. Which is why I never learned how to drive, I simply rub a rabbit’s foot and go vroom vroom. If you Anglo’d up Jose Siri into Joe Siri, it almost sounds like you’re saying a Yo Mama joke to Siri, and if you’re saying a Yo Mama joke to Siri, you got some free time on your hands, huh? Clear schedule, you got. Here’s what Prospect Itch said of Jose Siri recently, “Siri seems unlikely to hit any better (than Myles Straw), but he has elite athleticism and good bat speed. Sounds a little like Adolis Garcia and any number of other forgotten nowhere men to pop from the upper minors and into our fantasy hearts. I’ve always liked Siri, and hate Grey.” Geez, man, c’mon. In Triple-A, Jose Siri went 16/24/.318. Yeah, I was surprised at how good he was there too. “Siri, please call Triple-A and tell them I have a flat tire.” That’s me after someone steps on the back of my shoe. For now, Siri is a fill-in for injured Astros’ outfielders (mostly Brantley), but they’re headed to the playoffs, so they might rest their guys a lot, which means playing time for Siri. If you need a guy who can fill all five categories, you should press your iPhone home button too. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

JoMo Arigato

September 17, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 83 Comments

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“Mr. Roboto,” is Rudy singing to his computer screen about his robots. I say, “Rudy, what is your favorite robot?” Rudy says, “Well, I have the Pigskinonator for fantasy football, the Streamonator for streaming pitchers, the Stocktononator for fantasy basketball and the Friendonator to find a replacement for you. I guess the Friendonator would have to be my favorite.” That’s pretty cool, Rudy, thanks. So, my favorite robot of his, since I don’t follow any of those other sports is, the Streamonator. Something about a sad, lonely robot sitting at a roadside diner unable to eat peach pie because it will rust itself. Its only solace is picking the best starters of the day over the din of Roy Orbison. Sad and metallic, “Pretty woman, working down the street.” Plus, the Streamonator had me loving Jordan Montgomery (5 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 3.63) yesterday, and loves, loves, lurves his next one vs. the Rangers. Of course, I love Jordan outside of matchups — no JoMo! What’s odd (to me, at least); Jordan Montgomery’s peripherals — 9.3 K/9, 2.9 BB/9, 3.56 FIP, 1.25 WHIP — and his team should have everyone thinking of Jordan Montgomery for 2022 fantasy in a better light than he deserves, but I get the sense people think less of him. No idea why that is, maybe it’s his stuff — 92.5 MPH fastball, reliant on curve and change — maybe it’s something else. Perhaps Rudy has a robot to tell us why people think how they do, like a Brainonator. “Yes, but it doesn’t work on you.” That hurts, Rudy. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Nestor’s 11 Ks Don’t Burn Quite As Much As He Brought The Cortes Zone

September 16, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 118 Comments

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We hear, “Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels…” as the Think Different commercial plays. The middle of a black onyx stage opens, and slowly someone rises. First, we see their Yankees cap, then the glorious sheen, black-as-night mustache, which blinds us, it’s so beautiful. Finally, we see it’s Nestor Cortes Jr. in a black turtleneck and dad jeans. Nestor clicks on the microphone that is around his ear. “Thank you, Ashton Kutcher, for that lovely intro. Now, as many of you are wondering, how am I on the Yankees, and their no facial policy, with this gorgeous mustache. That answer is quite simple, actually. It’s due to my incredibly fast-growing facial hair. I shave every morning. I want to direct you now to my 500-slide Powerpoint explaining how my mustache grows in so fast.” Not only does Nestor Cortes Jr. have a fast-growing mustache like he’s out of the 1970s, he also has a 1970s vibe to his pitching. His release point changes with just about every pitch. Is his father, Nestor Orlando El Duque Hernandez Cortes Sr.? Last night, Cortes went 6 1/3, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 2.60 in just under 80 IP, which is nothing to sneeze out, unless you’re allergic to quality fantasy starters. The worry with Cortes, much like it was with El Duque, he throws about 89 MPH. It’s a precarious game trying to keep MLB hitters off balance all the time. So far, Cortes has done it, and I’d try him for the rest of this year. For 2022 fantasy, Nestor Cortes Jr. feels like a guy who could be exposed as a gimmick. Now, excuse me, I want to get back to watching his mustache PowerPoint. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

How Much For Two Dingers In Lewin Show?

September 15, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 116 Comments

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The Norm MacDonald death hit me hard and I went down a two-hour rabbit hole of old clips of him, and it was the best waste of two hours. This clip was one of my favorites (don’t ask me to choose my favorite, it would be like choosing my favorite child if I had children — though, honestly, it doesn’t seem that hard to choose a favorite child. You have, say, three kids, you can’t choose one that you like more? That feels like a you problem more than a them problem, anyway.). Bonus is Bob Einstein is in it, and we recently lost him too:

“Little did it matter; Croce would be dead within a year.” I am slayed. Well, thanks for indulging me. Now on a completely unrelated subject, Lewin Diaz! Have people been burned bad (bad Leroy Brown) by Marlins’ rookies? Jazz has been fine. What’s the problem here? I like Jesus Sanchez, no one seems to agree. I like Lewin Diaz (2-for-4, and two homers), no one else does. It seems at least. He now has five homers in 60 plate appearances, and that’s coming off a 20-homer Triple-A season (that was in 74 games). For 2022, does Lewin Diaz get the 1st base job? Not sure with Jesus Aguilar. If the NL gets the DH, then that might be moot. For this year, he’s a power corner man, but Lewin Diaz in 2022 fantasy could be an easy 30-homer guy, who might hit .220. If he gets enough junk, he might get 35+ homers. Guess you could say he hits junk yard, dog. Not the meanest of dogs, though. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

The More Manoah

September 14, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 117 Comments

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Yesterday, Alek Manoah went 8 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, zero walks, 10 Ks vs. the Rays, i.e., they’re supposed to be good. Alek Manoah has a 3.39 ERA, and a mom that’s a 10. Sign me up (for a spot in the mailbox outside their house)! “Hello, Ms. Alek Manoah, can I call you Alek Mommamia? Alek Womanoah? Why are you walking faster? I just wanna chat!” I scream from the mailbox. Call me a Cougar Chaser because I chase cougars! Any hoo! Alek Manoah is doing this as a rookie. Um, how about pretty unheard of. He is the 1st Jays’ pitcher to throw eight scoreless with one hit, zero walks and 10 Ks. Again, that’s against the best AL team. He tied Trevor Rogers for most 6+ innings starts for a rookie this year. His slider was dropping five inches more last night than when he first came up. He looks like a young Lance Lynn if Lance Lynn hung out with Action Bronson. For 2022, he looks like a ready-made horse, even though he will have roughly 100 IP under his belt. Right now, he’s rocking a 9.8 K/9 and a 3-ish BB/9, and for 2022 I’d put him around similar numbers, but with better command upside. So, roughly a number two fantasy starter who will have moments much better and worse. In only year two! Alek Mommamia, I love what you’ve produced! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Mr. Burnes Goes Nuclear Against Cleveland

September 13, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 159 Comments

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Usually I take Saturday pretty light. Wash my hair, get a pedicure, the normal things, but holy schnikes?! Corbin Burnes did what? Mr. Burnes made a vest out of Cleveland. That’s what he did. On Saturday, Burnes went 8 IP, 0 ER, 0 hits, 1 walk, 14 Ks, ERA at 2.25, and Josh Hader (1 IP, 0 ER) finished the no-hitter. Can a guy win the Cy Young off of one start? We have a tool for the best starts of the year, and are you surprised to see Burnes in the top four? (Side note, interesting to see Triston McKenzie up there in the top 10. Side side note, lots of early in the year starts before they checked for Spider Tack. Side side side note, it was also before pitchers were exhausted. Side side side side, look at all those no-hitters.) As far as FIP is concerned, Corbin Burnes is having the best season since 2000. It’s not even close. It’s truly remarkable and if we talk about it from now until next March, we will not have talked about it enough. His 1.50 FIP is the best pitching season for a starter since 2000. The 2nd best is 2014 Clayton Kershaw with 1.81 FIP, and there’s only three starters below a 2.00 FIP. Of those, Corbin Burnes has the best K/9, and the 9th best K/9 since 2000. There’s no starter with a 12+ K/9 with a sub-2 FIP. His K/9 and BB/9 are 12.4 and 1.7 BB/9. Those Burnes numbers are legitimately some of the best I’ve ever seen. Let’s do a thought experiment: With deGrom injured-slash-saying-he’s-not-injured, there’s a table for one at the top of starters for 2022, does Corbin Burnes sneak into the number one slot for top starters for 2022 fantasy baseball? Even if deGrom’s healthy, I’m not sure he’s above Burnes for 2022 starters. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

The Road Runner Woulda Got Caught Buy The Leody

September 10, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 101 Comments

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(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)

Last year, I wrote in my Leody Taveras sleeper post, “You don’t need me to Mr. Shaibel you through the ins and outs of strategy on how to move your pieces around to win your league, but let me just say the quiet part real loud:  SPEED AND POWER MMM YUM. Got it, all you Normies and five Carlas? Leody Taveras is only 22 years old, so his power could be developing into more goodness. He has a 14.3 Launch Angle, which should lead to roughly a 37+% fly ball rate (it was 32.9% last year, but small samples). A 37% fly ball rate should lead to roughly 178 fly balls. Taveras is not built like a brickhouse. He’s built more like a Shed Long. But he has a 50 grade in raw power and who knows? Maybe he runs into 10% HR/FB. That would give him, you guessed it, 18 homers! I’ll be honest, that feels optimistic. Steamer projects him for 13 homers in 133 games, and that feels optimistic too, but pessimistic on his games played. When all things are equal, 13 homers feels like a solid projection, but in more games.” And that’s me quoting me! That just got my pants tent moving north to the Adirondacks for Loedy Taveras in 2022 too. If Siri is reading this to you, we’re not talking about 20222, you didn’t fall asleep for 18,200 years. If you did, your head would be reading this in a jar of formaldehyde. Just had a thought, imagine your head was being preserved in formaldehyde and it was on a shelf behind a bigger head and all you could see was the back of someone else’s head for all of eternity. Writing a note in my Last Will and Testament to not let that happen to me. Any hoo! This is for this year, and Leody has speed and power. He needs to find more contact, but if he can, he could be trouble this year or in 20222. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Ranger Stacking Up Quality Outings As Suarez The Eye Can See

September 10, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 125 Comments

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“Ranger Suarez is the greatest Suarez in the history of this country.” That’s me leaning into a store microphone in the freezer department at Costco before getting chased from the store. It’s drama, guys and five girls, and I like drama. *pushes bangs off forehead, turns to mirror* I’m ready for Close-Up. No, don’t zoom […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Mets Overwhelmed By Sandy A’s This Week

September 9, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 113 Comments

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Can one start change a guy’s perception for 2022 fantasy? Yesterday, Sandy Alcantara (9 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 14 Ks, ERA at 3.24) made that case. If that was it, against a subpar offensive team like the Mets, I’d say, “Yawn, my good chap, let’s see it vs. someone who we think is good.” How’sever, that wasn’t it. Dot dot dot. It was how it was done. It was done with overwhelming nast. Not nasty, but overwhelming nast. Nast: the act of saying “nasty” but unable to finish because the pitches are hitting the catcher’s mitt before there’s time. In the 8th inning and on pitch 99, it was a 101.5 MPH beebee. Not a BB as in a ball, but a ground out to short. 9th inning? Oh, yeah, back out and hitting triple digits on pitch number 102, touching 101.2. Pitch number 110 and he hit 100.3 MPH. Pitch 112? Still 100.3 — miles per hour, not Z100. Then a 93.5 MPH slider and goodbye Conforto, who homered earlier in the night. This was as dominant a start as I saw in April, forget September as Alcantara hits 180 2/3 IP on the year. Next year, we’re going to see a lot of pitchers still struggle with innings, due to how funky last year was. Sandy Alcantara in 2022 will be one of maybe five starters you can pencil for 200+ IP, and a 3.00 ERA with upside. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Alejandro Runs Two Circle Kirks Around The Bases

September 8, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 139 Comments

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If you can look at how Alejandro Kirk is built and not giggle, you are a much better person than me. How do you be so good? Sometimes I’m very left side of my brain, sometimes I’m very right side of my Brian. What do you use to shut off the whispers that Alejandro Kirk looks like a cross between a baseball player and a tree stump? An adorable tree stump, naturally. Like one used in glamour photos for a young family before a casino moves in down the street and steals all of mom’s attention with keno. Yesterday, Alejandro Kirk (3-for-4, 3 runs) hit his 6th and 7th homer, hitting .290, and has three homers in the last two games. You getting my one thousand percent guarantee he’s a hot schmotato. Alejandro Kirk’s 2022 fantasy value? He would be a top ten catcher overall if he got the at-bats. If you’ve seen his body, you know he has no ABs. I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist. Like him at a buffet. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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