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I just went over the top 10 for 2015 fantasy baseball and the top 20 for 2015 fantasy baseball.  Those were exciting, fun, adjective posts!  I took a Snapchat of myself reading those posts and had to delete it after one second it was so hot!  Now, this post, well, it’s the top 20 catchers for 2015 fantasy baseball.  Most of you know how I feel about catchers.  If you draft a catcher any time before the first 100 picks, you don’t know how I feel about catchers.  Let me freshen up your cocktail with a splash of insight.  I don’t draft top catchers in one catcher leagues.  I Reggie Roby them.  Last year, Posey was the top ranked catcher at the end of year.  Yet, he was only the 8th best 1st baseman.  The best catcher can’t spray aerosol deodorant on the top guy for another position. The last time Buster Posey had a huge season he followed it up with a stank season that had you wishing for that aerosol deodorant.  In the top five catchers last year were Posey, Santana, Mesoraco, Lucroy and Gomes.  Only two guys were drafted in the top 100.  No one should draft a top catcher because there are no top catchers.  They’re all hot garbage with a side order of gefilte fish, or kapelka as Q-Tip calls it.  Catchers are unreliable to stay healthy; the job is grueling and takes its toll on offensive stats.  There’s not much difference between, say, the tenth best catcher and nothingness.  Last year, Dioner Navarro was the tenth best catcher.  He was on waivers the entire season.  He was the tenth best catcher with 12 HRs and .274.  Yo, Q, forget kapelka, Dioner Navarro makes me vomit.  Finally, a reason that is new to this current crop of catchers — they’re actually deep in mediocrity.  You can draft the fifth best catcher or the 12th best and they’re tomato-tomato said with a different emphasis.  Because I ignore the top catchers doesn’t mean I’m starting the top 20 catcher list at number twenty-one; some of you might want to know the top catchers.  You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them draft d’Arnaud.  In two catcher leagues, catchers are a little more valuable, but I’d still prefer to avoid them.  You can see other top 20 lists for 2015 fantasy baseball under 2015 fantasy baseball rankings.  Listed along with these catchers are my 2015 projections for each player and where the tiers begin and end.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 catchers for 2015 fantasy baseball:

1. Carlos Santana –  This is the first tier.  This tier goes from here until Posey.  I call this tier, “Punt, punt, pass.”  I imagine that most everyone will have Posey above Santana in their rankings.  Since I wouldn’t draft either and don’t think you should either, it’s neither here nor there or nye-thurr hurr nor thurr, if there’s a rapper reading.  You automatically punt this tier.  Like with Kershaw in the top 20 for 2015 fantasy baseball, there’s always one person who says, “Grey, your mustache is my peer-to-peer sexyware, but let me ask you a question.  If Carlos Santana falls into the 200’s, can I draft him?”  Yeah, and if Kershaw falls into the end of the 2nd round, you can draft him.  And if Hunter Pence had webbed toes, he’d be able to fly parties of three from San Francisco International Airport to Fresno.  It’s all irrelevant; it’s not happening.  If you must know, Santana ranked in front of Posey because Santana has 30-homer power and he is a .250+ hitter, not a .231 hitter as he was last year.  In 2014, he was unlucky with BABIP.  Still, don’t matter, don’t draft him.  (Note:  Santana only has 11 games at catcher, so make sure he’s eligible in your league.  For more, 2015 position eligibility chart.)  2015 Projections:  73/28/89/.254/4

2. Buster Posey – There’s a psychological disorder many fantasy baseballers (<–my mom’s term!) suffer from.  It’s called Poseyitis.  Poseyitis is when a player’s real-life hype creeps its way into the discussion about a player’s fantasy value.  Pedroia and Mauer also caused major Poseyitis.  Yes, Posey is a great real-life player.  I applaud his handsomeness and overall swellness and grit and any other superlative you have for him.  For fantasy, Santana’s the better guy to draft.  Pop Quiz Alert!  Which is better:  Posey’s projections of 22 HRs, .302 or Santana’s 28 HRs, .254?  Trick question, they’re equal.  But they’re not equal until the end of the season.  Prior to the season, Santana’s projections are better because average is fluky and power is not.  That’s why Santana is above Posey; he’s safer.  Though, it’s all moot like Helen Keller because you shouldn’t draft either.  2015 Projections:  67/22/85/.302/1

3. Evan Gattis – This is a new tier.  This tier goes here until Perez.  I call this tier, “I’d like to draft them, but won’t in one-catcher leagues.”  This tier needs some explaining.  In two-catcher leagues, I’d draft one of these guys if they fell to me.  I’m not planning on it, but I’d leave it open as a possibility.  In one-catcher leagues, I’m not drafting any of these guys, but I do like them all to outperform their draft spot.  I bet at least half of the guys in this tier will be on waivers in shallower leagues.  Think I’m crazy?  Then you have a short memory, because all of them were on waivers in 12-team leagues last year.  This is yet another reason why you shouldn’t draft a catcher.  Most of them are on waivers and you can just pick them up.  As for Gattis, he’s yet to play in more than 108 games in his two seasons with Atlanta.  I think there’s a reason.  A Latin 28 is when a player is older than they claim due to forged documents.  There should also be a Homeless 28.  Since living off cheese found on the inside of pizza boxes and just on the streets in general wears down the body, a Homeless 28 is more like 42 years old.  That’s what Gattis is dealing with.  He looks like he’s capable of 35 homers if he could just stay healthy, and the Braves seem to be slowly realizing this and are leaning towards playing him in the outfield the whole year.  Want a guy that could surprise and be the top ranked catcher while losing his catcher eligibility?  Gattis it is, which only looks like a palindrome.  (UPDATE:  As the Braves continue to punt offense this year, they traded Gattis to the Astros.  The Braves left field slot is now N/A.  Sounds promising!  Bold Prediction Alert!  The Braves N/A left fielder is the best outfielder they have.  Gattis will likely play outfield and DH, while maybe catching once in a blue moon, and I still think he has a chance to be great while not being on any of my teams.)  2015 Projections:  67/27/81/.251

4. Yan Gomes – Also known as the star of the PBS cooking show, Yan Can Cook.  Or as it’s known in Latin American countries, Gomes Can’t Spell John.  “Mea culpa, I started this,” says Jonny Gomes.  When I started looking at Yan’s stats, I thought I was going to find he was a product of a ton of at-bats because when I owned him last year he seemed to play every day.  Turns out that was confirmation bias, or some other Psych 101 word, because Gomes didn’t have an extraordinary number of at-bats and this might be the longest run-on sentence in the history of man, excluding Cormac McCarthy.  Hey, I ain’t got no time for bird sex or punctuation.  Gomes’s HR/FB% looks repeatable and his line drive rate was toit.  He needs a high BABIP to hit for a respectable average, but he has always done just that.  I see little reason to be wary of Gomes, or weary if you didn’t sleep last night.  2015 Projections:  58/19/70/.271/1

5. Devin Mesoraco – I’m likely ranking Mesoraco a tad lower than others might have him (I’m writing these in December, so I’m not a hundred on where people are ranking anyone.  Yes, I’m saying I’m a hundred like Sterling from Hell’s Kitchen.  And, yes, that reference is prolly old by the time you’re reading this.  Now, someone get me out of this damn parenthetical!)  Thanks!  I’m being conservative on Mesoraco because he has no track record in the major leagues.  He was a top prospect, but so was Jesus Montero.  You feel me?  Okay, now stop touching me.  Also, Mesoraco’s HR/FB% was slightly absurd in 2014 and if not for his .341 BABIP in the 1st half, we could be thinking of him as Zunino-lite, which isn’t quite as delicious as Zima Light, but close.  2015 Projections:  56/19/78/.252/2

6. Salvador Perez – As you move further down the tier, there’s less a chance for them to be the number one catcher.  It’s still a possibility.  Perez has going for him:  big counting stats due to playing so much.  Against him:  he has to hit a ton of fly balls to get to 20+ homers.  He’d have to hit more fly balls than your average porn star.  Guys with his batted ball profile regularly hit between 12-14 homers.  That’s Yunel at best, and Yuyawn at worst.  (Not to be confused with Yaya Yawn, a girl I went to high school with.)  2015 Projections:  58/14/74/.286/1

7. Matt Wieters – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Ramos.  I call this tier, “Hey, I have a DL slot.”  The Orioles are saying that Wieters might not be ready for Opening Day after having Tommy John surgery.  His agent, Scott Boras, however, has said Wieters will be ready.  I believe Boras; he’s never lied in his life.  Ow, I just hurt myself rolling my eyes too histrionically.  To put that in everyday, non-sarcastic parlance, Wieters will miss half the month of April, starting the year rehabbing in the minors.  The good news is the O’s will likely let him DH for a good portion of the early season.  There’s some risk here due to his surgery and the possibility of a setback, but if he’s cheap enough I could see drafting him.  Best case scenario, you DL him and grab a catcher off waivers for the first week or so.  Worst case scenario, Wieters writes and stars in a romantic drama about North Korea titled, “Despot Is No Good For Cooking” that co-stars Meryl Streep.  The movie is received lukewarmly, but North Korea hacks people’s digital TVs and everyone must watch it repeatedly until they learn the last line by heart, “I filled despot with my tears and let it simmer.”  2015 Projections:  55/18/69/.254/2

8. Wilson Ramos – Well, he’s not on the DL yet.  That could’ve been said the day before Opening Day last year too, but not the day after Opening Day.  I wrote a Ramos sleeper post that’s just sitting on the back burner waiting to be posted, but I have a feeling I’m never going to post it.  Even though my writing has been compared to P.S. Eliot, T.S Eliot’s brother who never knew when enough was enough, catchers are a bore, and Ramos isn’t that different.  If he stays on the field, he could produce nice stats, but he never stays on the field.  2015 Projections:  58/18/66/.262

9. Brian McCann – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Molina.  I call this tier, “Why won’t these guys go away already?”  McCann had a 12.2% HR/FB last year; his career mark is 12.7%.  His FB rate last year was 45.1%; his career is a tad lower at 42.8.  He’ll be 31 years old in 2015.  He hit 23 homers last year in 495 ABs, his highest at-bat total since 2008.  This is just taking the skim off the milk, but what’s the chances he hits more homers in 2015?  25% chance?  20%?  33%?  I love Steamer, but he has McCann projected to hit 27 homers in 2015 in 528 ABs.  Yes, he McCann, but he McCann’t that.  2015 Projections:  52/20/69/.248

10. Jonathan Lucroy – Nothing I enjoy more than bashing Joe Mauer, but this is going to be the last time I mention him today.  You know who Lucroy is?  He’s Mauer.  He doesn’t hit for much power, but he hits for average, gets solid counting stats for a catcher and chucks in a few steals.  Of course, Mauer did it better when he was Lucroy’s age.  Any the hoo!  I’m not a fan of Lucroy either.  His fantasy value is predicated on counting stats and average.  Two things I hate trusting.  2015 Projections:  69/12/61/.291/5

11. Yadier Molina – Molina’s owners also suffer from a severe case of Poseyitis.  Say something bad about him, and watch as a legion of fans come out of the woodwork.  It’s almost like The Flying Molina Bros. disassemble into millions of smaller people, come to Yadier’s defense, then reassemble into blubber on his older brothers.  Like an obese Transformer.  2015 Projections:  64/10/72/.291/3

12. Travis d’Arnaud – This is a new tier.  This tier goes here until Conger.  I call this tier, “All right, enough punting.  Not to be confused with, ‘There’s never enough bunting.'”  What I mean by the tier name is a plain, ordinary wall can really be jazzed with some bunting!  Oh, what I mean about the other part is I’m likely drafting my catcher from this tier in one catcher leagues.  As for d’Arnaud, I’m surprised I haven’t written a sleeper post on him yet.  I’ll likely remedy that at some point in the preseason.  Instead, I went back to look at what I said previously on him, and since it still makes sense, here it is, “d’Arnaud can’t not hit, which either means he can or can’t depending on how we’re counting negatives, and in turn double negatives.  He hit 21 homers in Double-A with a .311 average.  In Triple-A, more of the same — 16 homers, .333 average — in only 67 games.  There was a reason why the Mets sent their Cy Young winner, The Dickster, to Toronto for d’Arnaud.  At some point, d’Arnaud will be a top five catcher for all of fantasy.  Could be this year, could be in 2017 when you will be taking flying cars to your draft and you will be able to marry your robot maid (in Vermont) while going down the aisle in a motorized Barcalounger.  Catchers’ growth charts are hard to predict.  Carlos Santana should be better than he’s been, Matt Wieters should be better, the list goes on.  Those guys haven’t even reached their potential yet.  Will d’Arnaud be worth a flyer at the end of your draft?  Yes, definitely.  Will you want to drop him by April 7th?  Maybe.  Now which one of you knows how to put a motor on a Barcalounger; I’m taking bids for engineers.”  And that’s me quoting me!  That all still applies after he hit 13 HRs last year in only 108 games.  D’Arnaud is gonna be a great one at some point; it’s all about when.  2015 Projections:  60/19/71/.237/1

13. Mike Zunino – At 23 years old, he hit 22 homers last year.  So, when he’s 74 years old, he will hit 73 homers!  Take that, Bonds!  He could hit 30 homers this year, because he hits everything in the air.  Besides Chris Carter, Zunino hit a higher percentage of fly balls than any other player last year.  Unfortch, his line drive rate was 16.6% (vs. Carter’s 21.6%) and Zunino’s K-rate was 33.2% (vs. Carter’s 31.8%).  Oh, and Zunino’s K-rate was the worst in the majors for that number of plate appearances.  Yeah, he was a mess, but he’s young and he could hit some bombs, so that’s worth a flyer.  2015 Projections:  54/20/63/.211

14. Yasmani Grandal – Here’s what I said when he was traded for Kemp, “Yeah, he’s now on sleeper radars.  The obvious:  better lineup, burgeoning power last year.  (By the by, Burgeoning is my favorite red wine.)  The less obvious:  fly ball rate is increasing, can play first base if A-Gon finally breaks down, was once a former top prospect, solid walk rate, and again he’s leaving Petco!  For straight fantasy value, I wouldn’t be surprised if Grandal outperforms Kemp in 2015.  I wouldn’t predict it, but it feels like one of those silly BOLD PREDICTIONS that people make.  He does need to get his K-rate in order (inflated to 26% last year) otherwise he might only hit .208, but the possibility is here for a breakout.”  And that’s me quoting me!  2015 Projections:  53/17/64/.231/2

15. Nick Hundley – The Rockies are going another way with their catching situation.  That way is, “Not Rosario.”  I don’t think Hundley’s much, but he is starting his home games in Coors and as they say in Something Land, “That’s something.”  2015 Projections:  51/15/58/.254

16. Hank Conger – Here’s what I said last year, “I’ve been a fan of Chris Iannetta in the past, but now I consider him Chris Iamnada.  Or Chris Ia’intgotta.  Or Chris I’mnotdraftabla.  Or Piss Ugatz.  I much prefer Hank Conger get the starting job, but that’ll likely happen when he’s traded away for five cents on the dollar.  Oh, Sciosciapath.”  And that’s me predicting the future!  No one’s ranking Conger higher.  If Hank Conger’s brother, Frank Conger, was a fantasy baseball ‘pert, he wouldn’t rank him this high.  So, when Conger (Hank, not Frank) goes off and explodes, thank me.  (If he disappoints, let’s never speak of this again.)  I’m also going on the assumption that the Astros are gonna shock the world* and make Conger their starting catcher over Castro.  (*World in this sense is the world that cares about the Astros, which is approximately twelve people, including Barbara Bush.)  2015 Projections: 48/15/62/.251/2

17. Russell Martin – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Montero.  I call this tier, “Stale rice cakes.”  This tier name means that you’ve shown great self-control to not cheat on your catcher diet, but now you’re just going for something you think will be a healthy choice, but is really just nasty and will leave you wanting something else.  Here’s what I said this offseason, “(Russell Martin) signed by the Blue Jays for $82 million.  The money doesn’t mean anything for fantasy other than he’s going to make eight-two million dollars!  Are we all living in Russell Martin’s fantasy?  Is this how come he got to date my 12-year-old-self’s crush, Alyssa Milano?  Is Russell Martin our overlord?  For 2015, I’ll give him the projections of 53/13/69/.248/6 or whatever he wants since apparently we’re all living in his snow globe.”  And that’s me quoting me!  2015 projections:  53/13/69/.248/6

18. Miguel Montero – When he was traded this offseason, I said this, “Headed to Cubs.  Buh-buh-buh– Where’s the boeuf Welington?!  Geez, young catching prospects get about a year to shine, then it’s off to the meat market.  Montero’s numbers last year were 13 HRs and .237.  Oh, wait, that’s Welington’s stats from last year.  Montero’s numbers were 13 HRs and .243.  That’ll fix everything!”  And that’s me copying and pasting me!  2015 Projections:  45/14/62/.238

19. Robinson Chirinos – This is a new tier.  I call this tier, “Your last chance at a decent flyer in deep leagues.”  This tier goes from here to Flowers.  Wasn’t that an R&B song?  “From Here To Flowers.”  Sounds like it.  Tells the story of a romance that starts all right and goes all wrong.  In the beginning, there were flowers sent for all the right reasons, then later on the flowers were sent to apologize.  I think it was Jodeci.  I’ve thought too much about this.  As for Chirinos, well, he’s got upside and a mostly-full-time starting job.  Fun fact!  Through his father, Chirinos is related to Coco Crisp.  Luckily, Robinson doesn’t have to wear the badge of shame like his brother, who is named Uh-Oh Chirinos.  2015 Projections: 41/15/52/.246

20. Derek Norris – Here’s what I said this offseason, “The A’s sell-off and Padres buy-on (sell-to-me? gimme-gimme-gimme?) continues as Norris heads to the Padres.  Next thing you know, Billy Beane’s daughter from Moneyball is going to be singing the National Anthem for the Padres.  Or Jonah Hill and his nerdculator.  Norris was a platoon catcher, but saw time at DH, so it’s kinda tomato-tomato with a different emphasis for his playing time in San Diego.”  And that’s me quoting me!  2015 Projections:  50/12/59/.252/4

21. Stephen Vogt – I believe…I believe…I believe in Stephen Vogt!  Can’t wait to see what chants the A’s fans come up with for Semien.  Gulp.  2015 Projections:  56/11/52/.288/2

22. Jarrod Saltalamacchia – He’ll be 30 years old this year, and with more seasoning, Salty’s getting worse.  Weird!  2015 Projections:  49/16/58/.215/1

23. Jason Castro – The good news is he’s only one year removed from a 18 HR, .276 season.  The bad news:  I don’t have enough room.  2015 Projections:  46/12/50/.239/1

24. Wilin Rosario – Rosario just had the worst possible season last year that I could’ve imagined for him, but I’m overstating how good my imagination is.  At 25 years old, I slotted him in as the top catcher last year, and then he made Nadir Bupkis look like a batting title champion.  I figured he had Coors, his prime, and power.  What else do you need?  Rosario proved you needed to get on the field and actually produce.  Who knew?!  Last year, his splits were egregious — .249 vs. righties and .310 vs. lefties; .343 in home games and .185 in away games.  Gross, indeed.  And in 2013 he hit .290 in away games and .279 vs. righties with 14 homers, which shows no discernible splits.  I’m not concerned.  He had a wrist issue that can zap a player’s power.  Or sap his syrup, for our readers in Vermont.  (NOTE:  I know there’s rumors that the Rockies want to trade Rosario.  That would hurt his value, but there’s been rumors that Hugh Jackman is straight too, but all I keep seeing are photos of him married to his grandmother.  I don’t think Rosario is going anywhere, but, again, it doesn’t matter since you shouldn’t be drafting these guys anyway.)  UPDATE:  The Rockies have not announced-announced that Rosario is the backup.  Did Scioscia start managing the Rockies?  2015 Projections:  38/12/44/.278/1

25. Christian Vazquez – Best case scenario is Vazquez puts together a Yadier Molina-type year.  The worst case scenario is he pees in a cup and sells it to you for your life savings, billing it as a magical elixir.  Likely outcome for 2015 is somewhere in between the best and worst case scenarios.  2015 Projections:  47/6/51/.252/3

26. Tyler Flowers – I could’ve sworn when I started this tier I had every intention of liking these guys.  I keed (kinda).  These guys are okay for a two-catcher flyer.  Face it, 25 catchers deep and you couldn’t get that excited about any catcher even in 1998 when Sammy Sosa was still black and people were sticking needles in their butts on the reg.  2015 Projections:  46/16/53/.203/2

27. Alex Avila – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until the end.  I call this tier, “Damn, ninja, you really punted.”  Avila has a good season under his belt.  Back when Tara Reid was the next It Girl.  2015 Projections:  42/10/48/.212/2

28. Rene Rivera – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Heads to the RaysRene Rivera was once a sexy, just-one-of-the-guy-types seen in movies like Get Shorty and Tin Cup– *checking notes*  Yeah, that’s right, but now she’s a major league catcher.  Rene has 12-homer power and legs that go on forever.”  And that’s me drooling on me!  Rene Rivera sounds sexy!  Shut up, Intern, I’m not thinking of Rene Russo.  (Note:  After the trade of Jaso to the Rays, I made slight alterations to Rivera’s projections.  I’m like a tailor with numbers!)  2015 Projections:  39/10/42/.244

29. Chris Iannetta – He cut his strikeouts last year and hit .252, which is way above his career average of .236.  He also only hit 7 homers, and resembled a turd for five months of a six month season.  “To avoid clogging the toilet, no sanitary napkins or Iannettas.”  That’s the Angels bathroom sign.  2015 Projections:  44/12/49/.232/3

30. John JasoJohn Jaso Jingleheimer Schmidt is not your definition of a starting mixed league catcher and he’s not mine either!  2015 Projections:  43/7/41/.260/2

31. Kurt Suzuki – He had a productive year last year.  Shoot, I meant to say he had a productive year for him.  Stupid missing caveat!  2015 Projections:  40/4/51/.262/1

32. Carlos Ruiz – Last but not least.  Actually, that’s a lie.  2015 Projections:  43/7/40/.255/2