Listen, I love a good gif. More than most. But if I put the gif of Rhianna singing, nay, dancing in her music video for ‘Work’, not a single person would read this article. No one. Not anyone. Not in the overset of evers would anyone ever continue scrolling down to read about the Creeper of the Week when they could all gaze like a creeper at the ‘work’ of Rhianna rolling her hips in front of Drake. It’s the epitome of mesmerized. So, for the sake of errbody, I’ll refrain, mostly likely cause you to just go google the music video on Youtube, and carry on with my main point for the article.

Jayson Werth, Werth, Werth, Werth, Werth, Werth! He say I pick him up, up, up, up, up, up! Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah. (And then she keeps making consonant sounds. That’s music? I digress. Just watch the video. Googly eyes await.)

  • Jayson Werth, OF (16.1%) – As professional a power hitting left fielder with solid average that you’ll find, injuries have been the primary concern with Werth. From his days in Philly to the past few in Washington, not only has Jayson flashed the greatest baseball caveman look since Johnny Damon’s Boston days, he’s also provided some serious stats. Sure, he’s aging, and has been on the shelf a bit the past two seasons (this one included), but despite the average he has a .230/81/22/75/1 line in his past 599 ABs. He’ll get the counting stats in a great lineup hitting ahead of arguable NL MVP candidate Daniel Murphy and reigning MVP $500M man Bryce Harper. His legs aren’t what they used to be, and that may be affecting his BABIP, but it’s still sure to rise. Currently it sits at .270, but his career number is .325. Look for the average to rise as long as he stays healthy, and the counting stats to continue pouring in. His past 14 days? .293/8/4/13/0. At 16% owned that’s more than valuable, and enough to just creep into the Top 100!

Enough creepin’…Here are those Top 100 Hitters for Week 11!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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See all of today’s starting lineups

# MLB Starting Lineups For Mon 8/4
ARI | ATL | BAL | BOS | CHC | CIN | CLE | COL | DET | HOU | KC | LAA | LAD | MIA | MIL | MIN | NYM | NYY | PHI | PIT | SD | SF | STL | TB | TEX | TOR | ATH | CHW | OAK | SEA | WSH

It is more simple then just correlating the “every stolen base is essential” represents a swipe to the right.  It goes farther the that, for some guys. it is like fish in a barrel… for others. it is a game they just don’t play.  Anyone that has partaken in the chicanery that is Tinder, gets the other far deeper references here because there are endless similarities.   Over the past seven games of play, there have been 13 teams with one steal or less, on the contrary to that, there was only four teams that swiped more than five.  That does not add up to a ton of stats to go around, especially when players like Cody Asche, owned in 0.6% of ESPN leagues, and Marwin Gonzalez (3.0%) are toeing the line of stolen base leaders for the week.  Only being one behind the leader for the week, of a mass total of three.  The sexy factor of steals is like a 2 AM special at the bar: dark, desperate, and a crap shoot.  So I am not here to tell you to not shoot for the moon with guessing with stolen bases, I am just saying that it is a game of haves and have-nots.  So be heady my good friends, as you search the waiver wires for good situations, pay attention to the pitchers who allow the most steals.  Pay Attention to the last 14 days of OBP, and of course with lesser owned fellas, watch general playing time.  Here are some fish in the barrel types for this week…

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I’ll admit Wei-Yin and Win might be a bit of a stretch, but I’ve got winning on my mind and all of us grinders just want to “win, win, win, no matter what.” Wei-Yin Chen at $8,000 gets his shot at the Padres tonight and I’d say “Just Win Baby”, but he better do a lot more than that considering the matchup. Coming into the year, Chen looked like he was primed to have a big season as he moved away from Camden Homerun Yards and into the NL’s largest park. Unfortunately Chen hasn’t delivered on that preseason hype, but he was responsible for bruising J-Fer’s ego by getting the Opening Day nod. Outside of his 12 K performance against the Brewers last month, he’s been mediocre at best, topping out at 5 K’s vs Pit and Atl. I love exploiting teams coming off that Rockie Mountain High and at the discounted price tag of 8K vs an already bad Padres offense, I’ll take him in both cash and tourney play for tonight. I’m torn between pairing Chen with Max Scherzer vs the Cubs at $12,200 or Zack Greinke at $11,200 vs the Dodgers. I haven’t rostered Greinke all year, especially at home, but he seems like he’s finally settled into the terrible AZ jerseys nabbing 5 W’s in his last 5 starts with 29 K’s and a 1.89 ERA. Mad Max looks like he’s back on track too, but I think Greinke will be under owned due to his struggles at home, so I’m rolling with the Zack Attack. I’d by lying if I said I loved the Greinke matchup, but he’s facing his former team, so I anticipate a huge effort out of him tonight.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run today to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

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Jake McGee hit the DL with a sprained MCL.  Damn, 1150 was a very bad year for him.  Wait, a new closer that no one owns is up for grabs!  When this news broke, I was sitting in a French cafe, wearing a beret to the side, flicking a Virginia Slim 120 like a French baller.  I immediately looked for Carlos Estevez, but he was gone.  Then I looked for Jason Motte — gone!  Then I looked for Boone Logan — there!  So, I grabbed him, then I wept quietly.  Was I really picking up the guy third down the SAGNOF totem for the Rockies?  I’m such a pitiful save vulture.  Get some dignity, man, you’re better than this, you’re rocking a beret and a Virginia Slim 120!  After Saturday’s game, Walt Weiss announced Estevez would be the closer, so now, even more pitifully, I will be dropping Boone Logan, who got me a cheap vulture save on Sunday due to Estevez being used too many days in a row.  That’s like the fantasy baseball walk of shame.  Everyone who sees you drop the guy that doesn’t get the closer job knows full well that you desperately tried to make the wrong guy work.  Now I have to pick up and drop twelve other guys to bury my move.  The fantasy baseball shame cycle!  As for Estevez, his outings will be like brother Emilio — short.  His performances may be like brother Charlie’s relationships — rocky.  Unlike his father, Martin, he will not be starring in an awful Netflix series canoodling with the DA from Law & Order.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

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Ten weeks of the baseball season are in the books.  Ten weeks!  The craziness at the top of our Player Rater is remarkable being over 2 months into the season.  Xander Bogaerts is 4th, Ian Kinsler is 5th (!), Ian DesmondRobinson Cano and David Ortiz round out the top 10, and Mark TrumboDaniel Murphy and Jonathan Villar are all in the top 20.  Before the season, I would have guessed Bogaerts is the only guy on this list who could get to the top 20 this year but I wouldn’t have bet on it happening.  Does that mean I’d sell high on the rest of them?  Not necessarily.  I’d hold onto Desmond and Villar at this point for what they’re giving at the top of their lineups.  The problem is when you’re in a league with smart players like RCLs, you can’t sell high on these guys so just hold them and hope for the best; they’re still be getting predraft value with inevitable regression.  But in other leagues with inexperienced people?  Try to sell high on these guys before the bottom falls out.  Here’s a recap of everything that’s been posted on Razzball over the last week:

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One of the greatest artists of the last twenty years has essentially been missing from the music scene for the last decade. In the mid-to-late 90’s, far and few between could grace the airwaves quite like Lauryn Hill. Her Miseducation album from 1998 painted the scenes of my 7th grade love for R&B, and before that she was proclaiming to the world that ‘His eye is on the sparrow‘ in Sister Act 2 (yep, same girl…and nope, not the High Sparrow). And then sandwiched in between she rocked these lines with The Fugees that will be forever transfixed as genius in musical lore:

Stroman my pain with his fingers
Singin’ my life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
Killing me softly with his song
Tellin’ my whole life with his words
Killing me softly with his song

Little did I understand that she was also blasting prophesy through the radio as I heard that song back in the 90’s, not knowing that she was singing about a pitcher from Duke who would take the mound north of the border and effectively kill the ERA of every team that owned him. Crazy, right? That girl’s onto something…

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Hello everyone, and welcome to Sunday!

After a week off in which I studied game film of the 2003 Grey Cup QF’s (single greatest game in Canadian Football history), I am back and what a day to return to! There are many fantastic games on tap for today, and many high scoring ones at that as well, as we see some with very high O/U’s on the docket, with six games over 9 total runs scored. So why is this? Superb offenses? Maybe, but I have to say, I’m not excited about pitching options for the day, as there are many weak guys taking the mound today, and are likely to give up a whole bunch of runs. Gas cans.

There are plenty of opportunities to take advantage of. Kendall Graveman and John Lamb are two very mediocre pitchers facing off in what is shaping up to be a shootout. Adam Morgan is facing a Nats’ team that is primed to hang up a lot of runs. And for those of you playing the all-day slate, the Rockies-Padres games has a O/U at a whopping 12 total runs scored.

With many great offensive opportunities and gas cans to target, how do we attack pitching on a slate like this?

You’ll have to keep reading.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday June 13th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

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So it happened…. What????? The 2016 MLB Draft stoopid! I mean I am Ralph Lifshitz Prospector Esquire, and what else would I be talking about on a Sunday? Everyone else deals with the right now, but I, I deal with the future, the dreams of dynasty owners everywhere. So let’s get into the most difficult thing to predict, project, or understand. No, not Donald Trump’s campaign!!!! Are you even paying attention?!? The MLB Draft wake up!!! If you need proof as to why the MLB Draft is unpredictable, then click here and see how badly I missed on like 90% of my picks. Seriously after months of study and careful and thoughtful attention, I hit on 5 picks..FIVE out of 34! It’s cool I own it, I wear my mistakes like the rings of a pimp. So, let’s get into the steals, the stupid, the possible, and my general thoughts on the first few rounds of the draft.

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So now I’m an official Long Beach resident I figure I have to do two things: One, change my Logo; the second was trying to figure out where all the drama is, cause Snoop told me there was and how hard it was many moons ago.  Harder still was throwing the first pitch Padres game the other night.  Snoop’s terrible first pitch made sports news segments across our great land, one more in the long line of famous/semi-famous people throwing baseballs when they shouldn’t with the best, and still champ, Carl Lewis. Why don’t these guys and gals take a practice toss or two?  Does it seem easy?  At slow pitch softball the pitchers take practice throws; and that’s slow pitch softball!

Or, is it a greater scheme to bring these arguably famous (and Snoop is famous, but he’s certainly not relevant and hasn’t been for a while) people back into the spotlight?  Nah, I think it’s just cause baseball games need someone to throw out the first pitch, and if you can get a has-been or flavor of the moment, all the better over the state controller, or assistant district attorney, or a dying kid (actually it should only be dying kids if I ran the world).

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Tommy Joseph continued his early success last night going 2-for-4, with two home runs, and four RBI. I felt it was appropriate to go with the biblical headline because for those in desperate need of a corner infielder, Joseph has been heaven sent. The big game Friday brought his season stats to a .323/.333/.677 triple slash with seven home runs and 12 RBI in just 21 games (65 at bats). All this coming on the heels of Manager Pete Mackanin naming Tommy Boy the starter Friday afternoon over Ryan “I’m Not Sure How Old You Are Anymore, But I Would Have Guessed Older” Howard. Joseph has really turned on the jets in the past week hitting .438 with six runs, 4 homers, and 7 RBI. This isn’t coming completely out of nowhere either. After an abysmal 2015, Tommy was slashing .347/.370/.611 in 100 ABs at AAA this year. The advanced stats are a bit wonky for Joseph at the moment (.333 BABIP, 26.1 K%, .354 ISO), but don’t necessarily suggest Joseph is playing over his head. Regardless, TJ has carved out a nice spot for himself batting clean up for the Phils and I could see his success continuing. Grey told you to BUY, Joseph is available everywhere and is definitely worth grabbing in all leagues where you need a corner infielder with some pop.

Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:

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He’s not just good for making shoes! Matt Shoemaker has been making batters look silly. His swinging strike % is at an all-time high of 13.6%, well above the league average of 10%. This could be because he has be getting batters to chase his pitches out of the strike zone 33% of time, where they only are making contact 51% of the time. Now, in stroll the Indians, who have a strikeout rate of 21.3%. He’s found more velocity, reaching nearly 93 with his fastball and 84 with his slider, which have been helping out his splitter. His last outing at Yankee Stadium was spoiled by his bullpen, resulting in 4 earned runs. The good news is he hasn’t allowed a walk in his last 4 starts and has struck out 37! A season ERA of 5.40 doesn’t look very good, but the 2.37 ERA in his last 4 starts looks more similar to his 3.16 ERA at home in his career, where he gets the start today. Shoemaker throws his splitter over 30% of the time, which sits a top of the league, and is generating 22% swings and misses. In addition, his it’s also creating nearly 50% ground balls. Shoemaker is also producing 15.6% pop-ups, good for 10th highest among qualified pitchers. Yan Gomes and Carlos Santana have each seen him 6 times and have only combined for one hit. No other player on the team has faced him more than that. The Indians inexperience against Shoemaker and his increased velocity may help him maintain his newfound strikeout rate. He has averaged 25.6 points in his last 5 starts. For the price of $7,600, I’ll even take 20 points! There’s a lot to like here with Matty K’maker, but let’s get on to the rest of my superb Saturday selections.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday June 13th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Dellin Betances is basically the fat of the fantasy set-up world. The goods are there, it just takes time and some settling before we all realize it is, what was and what always shall be…  I think I just laced this post with some subtle Led Zeppelin reference, but I may be crooked to walk on one leg to let myself know that I did, let alone let you subtly know.  So I will just go ahead and say there was a Zep reference-reference.  Good, moving on.  Success of a bullpen, let alone someone you should be relying on, is correlative of how well the team is performing. It’s science, if you score more you put yourself in a better position to win more, regardless of who is on the bump.  Dellin was and is the goods, currently and in post-script.  He came into the year as the man to target in any format that coveted fantasy goodness, condensed into a smaller innings unit of measure than that of a starter.  Now add in the dash of Holds sassiness, and he is a bullpen god.  He is now the king of the Hold in all leagues by quantity and not by just scripture.  His 16 holds on the year are tops on the this year’s gig and given the Yankees propensity to not score over 4 runs in a game, his reign may be a run away.  He has the good everywhere else; K/9, swagger, ability to tie multiple knots while buoyant at sea.  There are no bullpen stats that he isn’t the man at.  He basically walks into a bar/club and automatically has the best synchronized music to his step….think Matthew McConaughey in Dazed in Confused…and let here comes the story of the Hurricane ramble through your third eye for a bit.  So let’s jump into this fortnights dealing in the bullpen game… alright, alright, alright.

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