Starts quietly at first then builds, “Javy….Nagilla….Javy…Nagilla…Javy…Nagilla!” Waving napkins above my head while I’m lifted in my chair above my fantasy team, “Javy….Nagilla….Javy…Nagilla…Javy…Nagilla!” Spots someone who looks like a Rabbi with a long beard, and screams down, “Thank you, Rabbi!” The bearded man replies, “I’m Lance Lynn.” So, Javier Baez went 3-for-5, 2 RBIs, 3 RBIs with his 4th and 5th homer, hitting .219. Shoot, hold on, someone is ringing my doorbell. “Oh, hey, Instacart deliveryman, I ordered the smelling salts thinking I might need them for Javier Baez, what’s your return policy?” Hopefully, this is the start of Baez hitting like a top 25 hitter, and not like every rookie the Marlins call up. I could use it. Plus, I have this chair now propped on top of my desk for the Javy Nagilla dance. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
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“I want to be a cardiologist, to be a heart surgeon, but I don’t know how that’s gonna work with baseball as well. So, I might do something business-related, so I get a little bit of business acumen going into the real world. And then once I’m done with baseball, I can probably go back and continue my study in medicine.”
–17-year old Triston McKenzie in 2015

23-year old Triston McKenzie, 2020 Debut
I mean, Triston McKenzie achieved both of his dreams, right? In his major league debut, McKenzie surgically sliced through the heart of the Tigers lineup, giving up one run over six innings while whiffing 10 batters. And you know what? There’s a very good chance that he takes the heart out of Zach Plesac, whose arbitration schedule would be delayed if Cleveland keeps him at the alternate site much longer. Is it too early to call McKenzie the “Cardiac Kid?”
Please, blog, may I have some more?We’re beginning week 6 of the MLB season, friends, and as I type this baseball is still being played, stats are being counted, and fantasy leagues continue to hum along. If you’re in one of those fantasy leagues and need some hitting reinforcements over the next month, let’s take a look at some names that may be of interest to those of us in the deeper end of the fantasy baseball world — we’ll concentrate on guys that are under 15% owned in CBS leagues this week.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Why does it feel like Vladimir Guerrero Jr. has disappeared off the face of the planet? That was mostly a rhetorical question. I realize he isn’t exactly lighting the world on fire the way the hype leading up to his call up last year might have set the stage, but fear not, it’s coming. VGJ has been a superstar at every level and he will be one in the MLB. In case you have forgotten, he’s only 21 years young. Even if it took another year (or two) until he started clicking on all cylinders, he would still be in his very early twenties. But I don’t think it’s going to take that long. Forget this year, it’s a lost cause for many, but 2021 feels like a good bet. In case you haven’t figured out what I’m trying to say, I’ll spell it out for you. This is the best opportunity you are going to have to buy low on Vlad Junior. Vlad’s stock has hit its floor and there’s only one way for it to go.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Grayson Rodriguez (@G_Rodriguez16) top pitching prospect with the Baltimore Orioles joins the show to discuss his career so far. We find out what it’s like at the alternate sites and what kind of protocols they go through. We find out how he fell deeply in love with baseball, his favorite hobbies, and more!
Please, blog, may I have some more?You all can blame me for the weekend bullpen chaos. I said last week was a relatively calm one on the saves front and as soon as I typed the words the baseball gods launched a comet of calamity at MLB. I shall do may best not to draw their ire again anytime soon.
- The Phillies traded for Brandon Workman to come in and close over the struggling Hector Neris. We’ll see how this goes. Workman has better results than peripherals. He may be a time bomb. He’s 1/2 for saves on Philly already. Matt Barnes was named sort of the closer but like only if he’s being cool about it. Maybe Ryan Brasier finds himself in the ninth again at some point. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey has begun releasing his weekly buy/sell articles one day early to all of our valued Patreon members so you can get that extra leg up on your competition!
The music never stops on the Razzball Patreon Podcast! In this week’s batch of I Can’t Believe it’s Not Not News stories, Billy-Ivan heads out to the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally to report on a Smashmouth concert. The story wouldn’t be complete without Billy-Ivan showing up to serenade us with his own rendition of the Smashmouth hit, All-Star.
You remember Billy-Ivan, right?
Please, blog, may I have some more?Good Afternoon Sports Fans, and welcome to Toilet Talk with Jared!
We have a smaller slate to work w/ today and I’ll be focusing my analysis. In my opinion, it’s a pretty weird slate. You have some Aces going, but not the ideal match up or a super expensive price. This has me most likely landing on Jesus Luzardo against the Rangers. Most of the Rangers pop comes from the left side of the plate, so this is a better match up for Luzardo.
Now lets dig in to today’s slate!
Please, blog, may I have some more?“Thinking about how I could’ve had Jose Abreu three rounds after Pete Alonso,” is what I tell the man in the plane after I say I want to parachute from the plane without a parachute. “You have anything that burns hotter than 500 degrees?” Is what I ask the grill store employee as I put charcoal briquettes down my pants as I watch Jose Abreu hit six homers in one series. “Just seeing if I can chew glass, that’s all,” which is what I say to Cougs as I bite into a water glass while thinking about El Grande Dolor hitting .322 and four home runs in a row from Saturday until Sunday. “No, I’m not cutting onions, I’m ripping my fingernails out,” which is what I say to my reflection when I think about how Jose Abreu has 11 homers and Pete Alonso hasn’t played in four days and was moved down the lineup for Dom Smith. How’s everyone else doing, that’s nice. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?There are times in life when one is right, and times when one is wrong. I realized over the past week that this list has been much more 162 than 60. We have passed a third of the season and one thing has become apparent above all: The changes implemented by MLB and teams have not affected everyone equally. Some have thrived, others have wilted. A big part of this list was the theory that a short season would help the older players. For the most part, this has not happened. So gentle readers, the electronic tones of LCD Soundsystem to you. I can change.
There is so much change in this list from last time we’re more or less starting over. There are no previous rankings or plus or minus this week because 15% of the list changed in one week. Pour one out for the 15 who are gone. We’re looking to the future, and a new Number 1.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Hello, again. Weird to think we don’t have too much of a fantasy baseball season left. We’re basically at the halfway point before fantasy playoffs start, more or less. Real baseball keeps chugging along despite more positive COVID tests. Each week I’m mentioning a new team it feels like, and this week it’s the Mets. The entire weekend Subway Series was cancelled, but maybe the Mets will be back in action early next week. The Reds didn’t take long getting back into action, so maybe it’ll work out similarly. Who knows! I’m just glad there’s still baseball and my Cardinals are playing again cuz my St. Louis Blues made an early exit in their quest to defend the Stanley Cup. Really bummed me out.
Anyway, you aren’t here to read my sad sack malarkey about a sport you probably haven’t even heard of. You’re here for fantasy baseball waiver targets. Cuz it’s almost crunch time. A hot bat/arm can carry you a long way down the stretch. I’ve picked some names you might want to take a look-see at. May the odds be ever in your favor.
I’m trying out a new format this week. Hoping that it makes reading a little more streamlined and easier for you to see the standout points I want to make on each player. But really I wanted to get in on that fancy baseball bullet point action.
Note: Stats accurate as of 8/22/2020, before games began. Remember, only players available in the 30th percentiles (39% or below) of either Yahoo or ESPN leagues are eligible. Thought being that most of who you read about below will be there for you to add.
Please, blog, may I have some more?After two great weeks, last week’s article was a bit hit-and-miss. Most of the streamers performed pretty well but an absolute dud from Adam Plutko really annoyed me. In any case, it’s something to build off of and we just have to pray that the rotations stay where they are and we don’t have more COVID chaos.
If you have any comments or questions, reach me on Twitter @Bartilottajoel
Two-Start Streamers
Framber Valdez (vs. LAA, vs. OAK)
Guys, Valdez is still available in wayyyy too many leagues. He’s done nothing but produce all season long and he’s been one of the best streamers out there. We’re talking about a dude who owns a 1.72 ERA and 1.09 WHIP through five games this season. He even navigated through Coors Field in his last start, proving he’s no fluke.
Those numbers alone make him a great streaming option but getting two home starts only adds to his intrigue. Minute Maid Park currently ranks 27th in park factor and it’s truly developed into one of the most pitcher-friendly ballparks around. While both of these offenses have potential, Valdez has seen each of them once, owning a 0.68 ERA, 1.15 WHIP and 11.5 K/9 rate across 13.1 innings of action. Not to mention, neither of those clubs are hitting above .230 and are clearly off to slow starts.
The Streamonator absolutely loves this call, projecting Valdez for 13.2 Ks across two quality starts en route to $22.5 worth of value.