LOGIN

“I *am*…in a world….of shit”

These were the famous words uttered by Austin Gomber when he was given the news about the trade to the Colorado Rockies. Then the words were uttered again when he set foot in Coors Field. He had spent his entire professional career in the friendly confines of Busch Stadium with an organization that valued pitching. Now he was being sent to the Siberia of MLB, a place where, in the infamous words of Drago, “If he dies, he dies.” Gomber is coming off a gem in Colorado and has been added in 19.8% of ESPN leagues. Is this Gomber a Pyle or should we promote him with distinction?

Gomber is 27 years old, 6′ 5″, 220 pounds, and throws from the left side. The Cardinals selected him in the fourth round of the 2014 MLB Draft.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I was clicking buttons on YouTube last night when I came across Freerunning. Man, those videos are so mesmerizing, especially with the music and slow-motion graphics. After the third video, I considered myself a Freerunning expert. I knew how to run. I knew how to jump. I understood that E=mc2. I was good at math so I could calculate the proper angles and such. After tying my shoes, I kicked open the screen door and jumped on top of the porch fence to vault myself onto the sidewalk. Beep….Boop……Bop……”911, what’s your emergency?” I’ve fallen and I can’t get up. The amazing things we see being done on tv are the result of years of practice and honing a craft. What makes them more fantastic is the effortless nature with which they are done. To the point that you and I often think that we could pull off the same feats. For most things in life, though, patience and persistence are good guides. You want to practice and/or perform due diligence before committing to anything. Fantasy baseball is no different. Patrick Wisdom of the Chicago Cubs has taken the league by storm recently. He’s hit seven home runs in 40 plate appearances and has been added in 44.3% of ESPN leagues. Refrain and show some Wisdom or is the Wisdom in riding the horse until it rides no more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If you paddle out into the ocean to kayak or surf, there’s a chance you could encounter a shark. Will the shark attack you every time? If it’s hungry or feels threatened, then you will get attacked. Some will view that as a shark just being a shark while others will want to kill the shark for being a threat despite the fact that something is infringing upon its domain. If a shark walked on its fins into someone’s home, then an argument can be made. The same thing happens in fantasy baseball. A player’s stats can fluctuate for a variety of reasons, which causes the perception of said player to change, but more often than not, a player is who he is. Avisail Garcia of the Milwaukee Brewers has been added in 16.6% of ESPN leagues over the last week to take his roster percentage to 56.3%. Who is Garcia?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

When the San Francisco Giants were winning chips in 2010, 2012, and 2014, it was all about pitching and defense. Or was it? During those three magical years, the Giants were 12th, 12th, and 17th in runs scored, 10th, 30th, and 17th in home runs, and 14th, 14th, and 17th in OPS. Offense, defense, and special teams! Then the malaise hit as the Giants morphed into a slap-hitting, station to station offense that even had the BART blaring its horns. From 2016 to 2018, the Giants were 19th, 29th, and 29th in runs scored, 28th, 30th, and 29th in home runs, and 20th, 30th, and 29th in OPS. After the 2018 season, the Giants hired Farhan Zaidi and the small-ball offense has become a remnant of the past. The renaissance has helped the Giants to a 28-19 record to compete with the big dogs in the NL West and, as we learned from the 90s, chicks dig the long ball.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I was famished. I had just written 10,000 words on why this column is named Bear or Bull. The joints in my fingers were popping due to the self-induced arthritis. I was staring at the computer monitor so long that my glasses absorbed so much light that oncoming drivers became disoriented as I screwed with their depth perception while walking on the sidewalk. As I opened the door to my local Mexican restaurant, the intoxicating smell transformed me into Pepe Le Pew as I floated to the front counter. Wolfing the tacos down, I thought to myself, “This is heaven. I’ve never tasted anything so delicious in my life before,” even though I had been there last Friday, and the Friday before, and the Friday before that, and every Friday for the past two years. Sometimes, things just hit the spot better or worse, depending on a confluence of factors. The same thing goes for fantasy baseball. Dylan Bundy was great in 65.2 innings last season during his first season with the Angels. This year? Not so good. He’s the 629th player on the Razzball Player Rater and has been dropped in 16.7% of ESPN leagues.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Grey told you to buy Harrison Bader last week. Listen to Grey and emulate him. It’s been a good strategy for me over the years. When I first became a reader of Razzball, Saves Ain’t Got No Face became a mantra and way of life. Not only did it help me navigate the relief pitcher market but I’d go to the club and the success rate exploded exponentially. When I first started writing for Razzball, I had no voice. I wasn’t a professional writer and there was much apprehension. Then I just emulated Grey. I think it’s worked out okay because I haven’t gotten fired yet and the editors still ask me to write pieces. See? I don’t just write bullshit. I live what I write. Alright, back to Bader. I was scrolling through the ESPN add/drops and he was added in 12.4% of leagues, but he’s still only rostered by 16.9% of owners. I wanted to dig in a little closer on my HarriSON.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s a story as old as time itself. Boy sees prospect. Boy sees prospect’s father is a Hall of Famer. Prospect double-doubles in the minors. Boy falls in love. Boy wants to get married. Prospect, who has grown into a major leaguer breaks boys heart. Boy’s life is now in disarray. Cavan Biggio of the Toronto Blue Jays has had a rough start to the season, causing much distress in the fantasy streets. Is it time to move on or ’till death do us part?

Biggio was selected in the fifth round of the 2016 MLB draft by the Toronto Blue Jays.

He didn’t exhibit any power in his first year but the walk and strikeout rates were very good. In his second season, he went 11/11 in 556 plate appearances. The strikeout rate ticked up to 25.2% and the walk rate was 13.3%, but the batting average was a meh .233. When he went up to Double-A in 2018, the strikeout rate ticked up to 26.3% but so did the ISO to .247. He went 26/20 in 563 plate appearances and wedding bells were ringing all across the land.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I got a text from Grey the other day. He said to meet him in Hollywood because someone offered him a lifetime supply of boba. He was skeptical of course but that .00001% chance intrigued him. I get it. It’s why I always reply to that Prince in Nigeria. Anyways, as we sat down to meet our mystery man, someone lept from behind the conveniently sized and positioned plant and tried to rub Grey’s mustache. When angered, Bruce Banner morphs into the Hulk. In a similar vein, Grey turned into seven-foot anime Grey and went POW! BLAP! SOK! BIF! BAM! like in the 60s Batman shows. The power. The ferocity. I was flabbergasted like the first time I discovered pubic hair. A similar display of power has been experienced by fans of the Cleveland Indians recently. LuPLOW. LuPLOW. LuPLOW. LuPLOW. LuPLOW. LuPLOW. Jordan Luplow has six dingers on the season and has been added in 18% of ESPN leagues. Is there anything here?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“He has the package. If we are able to tap into that, watch out. He could be the next [Randy] Arozarena”   – Luis Ortiz, hitting coach for the Texas Rangers

That’s high praise but is he in the best shape of his life? When are they not? So, who is this player that has the potential to help power a team to the World Series? I’m trying to make you move up to the edge of your seat, sweat in anticipation of the big reveal but who am I kidding? Most will just gloss over these words and gravitate to the bolded letters. Ah, such is the life of a fantasy blogger. Just writing words into the vast void of the internet, never to be consumed by 99% of the masses. Hi, mom! So Adolis Garcia has hit two home runs in 29 plate appearances. He’s been batting cleanup at times for the Rangers. Can he be the next Arozarena? Let’s dig in and find out.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Oh my my my. I’m felling high. My voice is gone but I’m not alone. Too much “he ain’t real”. The world keeps turnin’. Oh what a day. What a day. What a day. Hits and homers manifest. With every passing game. If my belief were my wealth. Then I would be filthy rich. If I were made in his image. Then I’d be one sexy dude. Most analysts do not believe. Cuz they fear regression coming. Oh on and on and on and on. The hits keep coming like the morning dew. Whew on and on and on and on. All night until the break of dawn. I go on and on and on and on. The hits keep coming like the morning dew. Ooo on and on and on and on. God damn it. Imma sing his song.

Akil Baddoo has taken the league by storm in the early going. He’s racked up three home runs, nine RBI, and one stolen base in 21 plate appearances. There are plenty of reasons to be skeptical in terms of his staying power so should we automatically dismiss him? Or is there something here and will this Baddoo go on and on like Badu?

Baddoo is 22 years old, 6′ 1″, 210 pounds, and bats from the left side. He was drafted out of high school by the Twins in the 2016 MLB Draft. His first two seasons were spent in Rookie ball, where he improved the strikeout rate, ISO, and slash at each stop. The K% went from 28.1% to 15% then to 12.1%. The ISO went from .093 to .173 to .222. The average went from .178 to .267 to .357. Remember, that he was coming straight from high school so he was a 17-year-old kid that first year. The improvement trends are encouraging.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I used to be a big car guy. I’d read and mental masturbate over the pictures and specifications of cars portrayed in Car and Driver and Motor Trend. In high school, many of my friends were into racing and fixing up cars. It was Fast and the Furious before Fast & Furious. I saw some insanely awesome cars. I also saw plenty of hoopties. The best, or worst, depending on perspective, were those cars that were all show and no go. You’d hear the deep muffle of an exhaust, see the shiny rims and body kit, but pop open the hood, and niet. Yermin Mercedes of the Chicago White Sox has gotten off to a blistering start, notching 12 hits in 19 plate appearances. Is this Mercedes really a hoopty or a geniune luxury product? Let’s dig in to see if we can unearth anything.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

MLB The Show is THE greatest sports video game. To be fair, baseball is the easiest game to make due to the fundamental nature of baseball, which is essentially a one-on-one battle with cursory pieces in the background. Basketball, football, hockey, and soccer all have multiple players moving in synch simultaneously which increases the number of variables that need to be accounted for. Anyways, San Diego Studios has done a masterful job of putting the best product out there. This isn’t an ad for The Show, though, but it’s relevant for this post. In The Show, the X button is for a normal swing, the O button is for contact, and the square button is for power. But with great power comes great responsibility because while you can check your swing with the x and o buttons, it’s all or nothing with the square button. Now, I don’t use the square button much except in 2-0 or 3-0 counts. I prefer to just use the x button because even with the mashers, it’s more than enough to drive the ball out of the park. In my early days of playing, though, I used to utilize the square button with the contact guys in favorable counts. There would be a stretch when I’d bop some over the fence which would get me to start utilizing the square button with those hitters in other counts. Like Pookie from New Jack City, the more I hit out, the more my thumb moved to the left side of the controller. Even while the average and OBP declined, and the strikeouts increased, the adrenaline rush from connecting kept the gig going. Kind of like our debt-fueled economy, which is a separate topic for another day. This reminds me of Andrew Benintendi. He always showed some pop, so he wasn’t some Juan Pierre-esque slap hitter, but he was known more for his power/speed combo. But then he started sniffing the power and bulked up, gaining over 20 pounds of muscle, mashing that square button.  The strikeouts increased while the average and overall production decreased. As a result, he is no longer in Boston. Trash or treasure?

Please, blog, may I have some more?