In college my roommate would, for no reason at all, walk in our living room and yell, ‘Hot Cross BUNS (emphasis on the word ‘buns’)!’ I had no idea what this was, and presumably figured he was referring to something have to do with a ba-donk-a-donk. And yep…you’re welcome for using ba-donk-a-donk in an article. Now twice.

When I cautiously researched what my Van Wilder of a roommate was talking about my it all made sense. And no…there were no body parts involved. Instead I found these warm, pillowy, sugary bread rolls. That’s essentially what a Hot Cross Bun is: sugary bread. My initial hesitations were eradicated when he made them for us a few weeks later and I partook in the riches of those carb machines. Does any of this justify why in the balls he came in shooting those three words, most likely taken from a nursery rhyme? Um, no. He was strange. One of the smartest and strongest dudes I knew, but like a master level warlock or something in World of Warcraft. He was unique.

I recently had a similar experience. Not with a shirtless 21-year-old roommate, but with the sensation of joyous revelation when I realized Dylan Bundy was good. Really good. Again. For the first time.

If you take his most recent start away (8/17) he only surrendered 10 ER since the end of June, albeit through some long relief outings. But once the former #1 prospect in baseball stepped into the rotation he hasn’t slowed down. To start the year Bundy was relegated to sporadic relief with no real structure to his usage, and even when he took the mound he wasn’t spectacular. However, since the beginning of June opponents are hitting <.220 against him, and he’s striking out batters at rates close to what we saw in the minors currently 8.40 K/9 on the season). Injuries derailed his opportunity to shine before now, but 23 he’s still an incredible prospect that is flashing signs of becoming an ace. And soon. Mike Podhozer at FanGraphs lays out an remarkable case for Bundy’s elite stuff. In short, batters have a hard time not swinging at his pitchers, and when they do they have a hard time making contact. That’s what we call a good combination. Like sugar and bread. Mmm…thank you British bakers for providing that delicious treat. And thank you Dylan Bundy for finally ascending into the elite stratosphere. It’s about time.

Now I’m gonna go stuff my face in some pastries. Here’s how the rest of Week 21 stacks up!

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I’ve made jokes about the man. I’ve dropped the man. I’ve laughed at the thought of the man. And now I’ve referred to him as the man. Yet he’s a kid. Somehow still only 27, Rick Porcello is bucking the trends and rolling in Boston this year.

Truthfully, it’s not even fair to say he’s ‘bucking all trends.’ Yes, his numbers are significantly better than last year, and he’s been absolutely lights out in the second half with a 22:4 K/B ratio, but not that much has changed for Porcello over the past four years. His K/9 is similar to the past two years. His BB/9 is on par. He’s leaving a small portion of more runners on base than last year, but not at a high enough clip (6%+) to truly make an impact. Yet we sit here at the start of August 2016 and Rick Porcello is 14-3 for the Red Sox after tossing a CG last week with 8 K in the win. He’s been largely yawnstipating since coming up as a 20 year old for the Tigers in 2009, but he shouldn’t be ignored due to his past or his potential negative name perception. Porcello will end up in the Top 10 for Cy Young, if not higher. Now, after the last 200 words hopefully you’re thinking the same thing I am…but why? If pitch percentages are similar over the past four years, and there are no changes with the surface stats, how is it that Boston has an ace in Porcello (a gift from baseball heaven since David Price apparently forgot how to lead a staff)?

Yes, this is a two-start article, but we’re going let this edition serve as a reminder of a few things for the rest of the fantasy season as Andrew Casner was recently the star of a trade between the Marlins and Padres. As a result, let us remember:

1. Andrew Cashner’s not good.
2. Leaving Petco Park to pitch is not good. (Even with improvements to the Park Factor, it’s still a net positive for pitchers)
3. A horrendous pitcher that throws twice in a week isn’t a better option; they’re an exponentially worse option.
4. Andrew Cashner’s not good.

Did the Marlins actually break their bank in this trade? No, and they’ve done that before (see: post WS win seasons). However, I may rather have all four players on the Padres side of this deal rather than the post-hype non-sleeper Andrew Cashner and, wait for it, Colin Rea. Now pitching in Miami, Cashner has a few things in his favor, like facing the Philies and Braves more often, but with only eight weeks left in the season the opportunities are minimal.

Let’s also set a record straight: Matt Shoemaker (the other SP I considered highlighting) Andrew Cashner is not. For a long stretch this season Matt Shoemaker has mirrored the norm of Clayton Kershaw. Cashner’s upped his K’s in his past 3+ starts, but let me close this little segment about why points 1 and 4 above are stout: he’s having the worst season of his career without an inflated stat, like BABIP, to blame for the numbers. 4.76 ERA, 4.94 FIP, and worse in every major category from 2015.

It may be worth it in real life for the Marlins as they push for the playoffs, but for your fantasy squad Andrew Cashner’s still not good. Which, this week, makes him doubly bad. Don’t break your bank to go get him.