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Hey hey hey, barflys! Welcome back to the Two-Start Dive Bar, all fresh and ready, and given just a cursory once-over of “cleaning” (after all, this is a dive; the carpet still sticks to your shoes and the place smells like stale National Bohemian). Please, blog, may I have some more?
I can’t tell you how excited I am to be back! This is my first article of the season, and we’re back at it with the streamers! If you’re familiar with my Ride the Wave piece from the past, then you’re in for a treat. Please, blog, may I have some more?
In one of the Madden football games, the eponymous announcer would proclaim that “speed kills” several times per game. Growing up in the prime of the Nancy Reagan D.A.R.E. era, I couldn’t help but chuckle, particularly as my generation was being prescribed Adderall in bulk whenever they had a tough stretch in school. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Welcome to my weekly waiver wire FAAB column! We are going to dive into the meaning of Oswaldo Cabrera drawing the Opening Day left field assignment over Aaron Hicks’ lifeless corpse and the amount of your waiver budget to possibly blow on Graham Ashcraft and his filthy Corbin Burnes-esque stuff. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Aaaand we’re back! Aaand wait–where’s all the baseball games? I had heard they were doing beisbol again this year only way faster and with even more rules? Sounds like fun! I just left my COVID-proof bacta-tank where I now spend the entire offseason. Please, blog, may I have some more?
What’s up, Razzball Naaaaation?
Look, not all titles can be winners every week. If I picked who got injured in a week, their name would be a lot easier to pun-ize or pun-a-nate. That level of power sounds terrifying, but my fantasy team would be decent. Please, blog, may I have some more?