If Pirates played fantasy baseball, their league wouldn't be all that different than the Razz30. There would be a fearless leader, as debonair as he is handsome. Let's call him Captain Ralph Lifshitz, you know, just for Lifshitz and giggles. He would of course need a quality first mate, a tricked out pirate ship, and an army of ruthless heathens ready to snap at a moment's notice. Our Jolly Roger, the Crab Army logo, would fly proudly above our vessel, as we sailed from port to port pillaging all we see. We are the Crab Army, fantasy baseball's largest and most fearsome battalion of bandits. A consortium of like minded trolls, pranksters, and freaks from the fringes of society. Our reputation for ruthless commentary is only rivaled by the cleanliness of our gooches. With our sponsor Fresh Balls in tow, we press on through another month of top notch dynasty baseball action, and debauchery. May was a wild month, as The Army moved in on unclaimed territory, and took it for their own. We partied it up with
Cowboy Cheerleaders, compared real and fake
Topanga's, and talked coffee. It's the monthly update for the bad boys of Razzball. It's the Razz30 Update. Two Claws way Up for my peoples.
Danny Glover played Roger Murtaugh in the Lethal Weapon movies. Murtaugh was the stabilizing force to the maniac that was Martin Riggs, played by the maniac Mel Gibson. Was Lethal Weapon a reality show before reality shows? Was the lethal weapon in Lethal Weapon Riggs or was it like a ying and yang thing where the combination of Murtaugh and Riggs formed a lethal weapon? I'm going with the assumption that Riggs was the lethal weapon.
Like a goat at a dog park,
Gary Sanchez stands well ahead of the competition at catcher on Thursday and is one of the top plays on FanDuel at any position. While Sanchez isn't on the same torrid pace he was last year, he enters play with a solid 113 wRC+ and is batting second in the high-powered Yankees lineup. Sanchez is facing Marco Estrada at the Rogers Centre, a launching pad for hitters, and while Estrada has been good this year, he is still giving up his fair share of homers. Estrada has a 1.18 HR/9, so Sanchez has a good shot at taking him deep. At $3,400, he's the most expensive catcher, but far cheaper than other elite plays, making him almost impossible to pass up. Best of all, Sanchez just had a day off on Wednesday, so it's a lock that he'll be in the lineup Thursday - you won't have to scramble to check lineups and find a replacement.
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The Astros exploded for 17 runs yesterday, and it was the second game in the last three where they scored at least 16 runs. Twins pitching, "Hold my beer..." Am I doing that right? The hero of the Astros' offense, and a man that is widely known as George Jefferson Springer led the way with 4-for-4, 4 runs and his 12th homer and 13th homers, hitting .265. The only thing missing from George Springer's game is saving a baby that is stuck in a tree and/or figuring out a way to ensure future babies don't get stuck in the same tree (and maybe some steals). Serious question, why is Springer hitting leadoff and Jose Altuve (1-for-4, 2 runs, hitting .319) in the two-hole? It's not hurting the Astros, but it is hurting my fantasy teams' RBI totals! Evan Gattis (4-for-6, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 4th homer) needs to hit cleanup? How about Alex Bregman (2-for-6, 2 RBIs and his 6th homer) hits cleanup, Marwin Gonzalez (2-for-5, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and his 12th homer) hits fifth, Gattis sixth and Yulieski Gurriel (1-for-5, 1 run, 2 RBIs) hits eighth or lower? Is that the most obvious thing I've ever said in my life? Okay, after the time I said, "I'm not going up in any hot air balloon." All right, also not as obvious as the time I said, "I'm lost," after driving around for two hours pretending I knew where I was going. Fine, also after the time I said, "I can't bench press 55 pounds." After those things, this is the most obvious thing I've ever said. Anyway, here's what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
