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It’s getting ugly in the reliever market. Injuries, ineffectiveness, and promotions have wrung much of the top talent out of the scene.  Much like the bazaar in Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle there’s stuff everywhere, but it’s hard to find what you need. Also, there’s a basket with a cobra in it. You just have to hope the Rock shows up and start throwing people through walls. I don’t actually know what the fantasy baseball equivalent of that is. I’ve gotten off track here thinking about the Rock’s ridiculous biceps, as per uzhe. I’ll wrap up this lede in ramble with a comparison Jumanji’s theme: the only way to win the game of relievers is to play and win.

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Another week, another round of tweaked hammies (hope you’re as not-really-hurt as you claim, Jean Segura!), nightmare pitching (thanks for nothing, Corbin Burnes!), and various trials and tribulations that cause headaches for any fantasy owner, but are particularly excruciating for those of us in the deepest of leagues, where suitable waiver-wire replacements range from nearly-impossible-to-come-by to completely non-existent.  Once again, here’s hoping you’re avoiding as many of those headaches as possible while we take a look at players who may be of some interest to those in NL-only, AL-only, and other deep leagues.

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As Ice Cube sang on the now-iconic song, It Was An Away Game, “Just waking up in the morning gotta thank God.  Today, German was away, carrying my whole squad.”  Then later on, he sings, “I felt ill after that big fat DeSclafani, pitching like he just pulled out of bed in jammies, but German killed those baserunners like every role by Allison Janney.  And my teams run deep so deep so deep I’d put your ass to sleep talking about how on one team Alex Cobb’s my number one, but I didn’t hesitate to call German Marquez my top gun.”  Imagine you were a Rockies fan who only watched home games, the team’s contract with German Marquez (9 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 0 walks, 9 Ks, ERA at 2.00) would be tré confusing.  After 100 pitches, he is so low effort throwing 97 MPH in the 9th inning, and occasionally drops in an off-the-table curve that is freaking brothers every way like M.J.  I can’t believe today German’s game was away.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

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Yesterday, Gary Sanchez went 2-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 17th homer, hitting .184.  As I’ve mentioned, I’m busy on the backend of the site doing year-end recaps for every position, and, yes, even the catchers, which will be released after the season ends.  With that said, did good ol’ Gary have the worst season ever for a consensus number one at a position?  Was it consensual?  “Why ya gotta put the word sensual in consensual?” every man in 2018.  By the by, was there a grabby hands discount coupon at GropeOn that I missed?  Sanchez’s year makes Cervelli look like a first ballot Hall of Famer.  And, if there’s ever a wing for concussions, I hope Cervelli’s CTE is one day in there.  Sanchez might be the first person to ever achieve exactly half of his preseason projections.  Even his batting average is about half of what was expected.  For 2019, I could see him recovering, but I won’t be the one to draft him to find out.  In other words, I’ll be bringing out major hedges with Sanchez, while drafting Austin Hedges.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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The past week has been an eventful one for bullpens. A whole slew of committees has emerged. Injured guys have returned. A couple challengers have even been thrown back into the muck of non-ninth inning pitching. The most notable of the returning closers was Sean Doolittle. He’s really settled in as the closer for Washington and they have been very comfortable with him there. Most of us dislike seeing the doctor and opponents of the Nationals are no different. Hopefully, you’ve received an infusion of save opps as you look to close out the 2018 season. If not, SAGNOF at will.

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Jeff McNeil sounds Irish, but, to me, he’s Polish’d.  He’s old, for sure — or fer sure, if you’re a millennial — and seems to have received a bad rep because he’s older.  As a Cougar Hunter, I can attest that, like wine and women who attend bingo competitions at churches, prospects aren’t done at the age of 26.  Sure, we’d prefer players hitting 20 homers at the age of 19 like Sexy Dr. Pepper or doing the breakdancing worm on top of their N’s like Acuña, but all prospects are not the same.  You have to subtract at least two years from McNeil’s age just because he’s on the Mets and they spent that time trying to figure out how to sell tickets to a Jose Reyes/David Wright reunion on the left side of the diamond.  The Reyes/Wright reunion is like if ABC reunited a sitcom and everyone loved the super sweet dad, who they thought was dead, let’s call him David Goodman, but reunited him with a piece of garbage, let’s call him Jose Roseanne.  The Wright part is fine, there’s fond memories, but the Reyes’ part they can leave in the dumpster.  So, McNeil took longer to tap his power, so what?  He can still have four to six years of productivity, because he looks ready to go now.  I’m pumped for him in 2019, but this is about this year, and I’d absolutely grab him.  Dude’s got so much Polish about to call him Jeff McNeilski.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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A premature grey-haired man and a prematurely balding man sit on a Brooklyn stoop, chatting about the old days.  “I can remember when Ossie Davis sat on this very stoop in Do The Right Thing.”  “It was a simpler time before gentrification.  Now the millennials are killing the bees, mayonnaise and plastic straws.”  Sipping his drink, “My kombucha tastes like paper…stupid biodegradable straw!”  “We were millennials as late as June, what happened to us?”  “We grew old waiting for Vladimir Guerrero Jr.!”  “Stupid millennials and their Super Twos!”  So, as mentioned last week in my Eloy Jimenez fantasy, I’m back here for the other guy who could be called up this week.  Will he?  Unless you’re talking to my groin, and mispronouncing Willie, I haven’t a clue.  I’m not saying Vlad Jr. necessarily will be called up, I’m just saying you stash him for right now.  See what happens when rosters expand in a few days, and, if he’s not called up, you drop him again.  No harm, no foul in holding a guy for a week who could do what Vladimir Guerrero Jr. does.  For more, search the damn site!  We’ve been talking about him for so long we’ve grown old!  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Alex Trebek, “The $500 clue is, ‘Now.'”  “The time I pooped my pants on national TV.”  “Sorry, that’s not correct.  Susan?”  “What is now?  Like now?   Now now?  What kinda answer is now?”  “Sorry, we can only accept your first question, ‘What is now?’ and that is incorrect.  Grey, you buzzed in last because you were on your phone picking up a streamer for tomorrow.  The answer is, ‘Now,’ your question is…”  “What is the time to pick up Eloy Jimenez?”  “That is correct.  You control the board.”  “Okay, I’ll take ‘Uber/Lyft for $500.”  “Your neighbor uses this World War II pun when describing them.”  “What is Taxis of Evil?”  “Right again!”  Any hoo!  As Alex Trebek illustrated in the most roundabout way, now is the time to pick up Eloy Jimenez if you have room.  He is absolutely tearing the cover off the ball in Triple-A like he’s putting the finishing touches on his Roy Hobbs Halloween costume — 11 HRs, .345 in 37 games.  I mean, over-the-internet friend, he’s 21 and doing that?  He’s going to be special.  Only question now that ends in a period is will the White Sox call him up when rosters expand in September.  My guess is they do and he starts the year with the club next April.  He’s going to be a star with little Jeopardy.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If your fantasy baseball league is anything like (most of) mine, your trade deadline has probably come and gone, and scouring the waiver wire is your only option for help and reinforcements for the rest of the season.  In the deepest of leagues, said waiver wire is likely picked to the bone, especially since we’re still two weeks away from September call-ups, but press on, my friends.  In a tight fantasy pennant race, you never know when a few strikeouts or a couple of runs might make a standings-changing difference at the end of the year.  As usual in our deep corner of Razzball, you won’t find any fantasy monsters on today’s list, but you may find a guy who can give you that tiny handful of extra strikeouts or runs scored… or in some other way help you out in NL-only, AL-only, and other deep leagues.

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Hello, I am Hunter Renfroe.  I have homered in four straight games.  I am also your father that is why I play for the Padres.  Please, call me daddy.  Not sure why I’m talking like a robot.  Elon Musk has bought my body and repurposed my soul.  By the by, you know what’s fun to do, next time you’re in a quiet place where people will be able to hear your phone, have Siri say, “You’re the reason the robots take over the world in the future.”  And have Siri keep saying it while you look at the person next to you, then finally say to your phone, “Me or this guy?”  Any hoo!  Hunter Renfroe (2-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 12th homer) sent the Padres into the Space Force!  He has power (still makes no sense he’s hitting third, don’t care what he’s done), and I’d grab him if you need that.  Him and Franmil Reyes (3-for-5, 2 runs and his 9th homer, and third homer in four games) have put on a show these last few days.  Not sure why they’d hit the Brewers hard, they just traded for Jonathan Schoop.  He’s a good pitcher, right?  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Year after year, Kole Calhoun (3-5% FAAB) continues to be an excellent replacement in fantasy leagues. This week we witnessed a significant loss in Aaron Judge, and necessary moves must occur to recreate some of that stat-line. With 9 HR in July alone, Calhoun could be one of the better power producers available for the rest of the season. All of the Statcast data suggests that his year has been extremely unlucky. His overall Barrel% is higher than ever, the BABIP is ready to jump back up, and the Hard Hit% is on par with his career rate. If your team is losing outfielders, pay a little bit extra to get the consistency that Calhoun brings to the table. July was a massive month for him, look for that to continue as his numbers should continue to bounce back more towards the norm.

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You know what is fun this time of year?  The bullpen shuffle.  Whomever is closest to the computer or phone wins the waiver game in most cases.  Well… that’s now the case with the Padres with the trade of Brad Hand to the Indians.  The waiver wire is set ablaze for one Kirby Yates, but is he the guy forever, or the guy for now?  I am leaning that the trade door in San Diego is gonna revolve one more time and see Yates come out the other side a bullpen piece rather than a closing man.  Hand’s still a valuable commodity, granted he won’t be a full-time closer with the Tribe, but his peripherals and Cody Allen‘s shakiness as of late… will lead to a “sometimes” situation.  Hand is a hold in all leagues because he should get a shot for every third save or so with his new club.  Add in the K-rate over 13 and he has intrigue that only a dozen or so non-closers have. Back to Yates though, since this is the afternoon post and Grey has gone over it this morning and most likely will after this in his buy post, but Yates has value for now.  In fact, he’s had value for most of the year in holds leagues, with a 11+ K/9 and a ton of success in the setup game in the reliever farm known as the Whale’s Vagina. So why am I so hesitant to give him the go?  He is a journeyman reliever whose value is never going to be higher than right now, or in eight days with some saves to his name.  So if you swung and missed at the waiver wire add for saves with Yates, grab Craig Stammen for free and just wait.  Waiting is always a good thing, especially with a maybe-closer in the making, albeit one with not much quantity potential.  More bullpen goodies and post all star tidbits after the bump.  Cheers!

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