Please see our player page for Jace Fry to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

No ham sad-wiches at this Fiers fest!  Mike Fiers pitching a no-hitter with 6 Ks, ERA down to 5.48, and he only needed 131 pitches.  Previously, he threw a no-hitter in 2015 when he threw 135 pitches.  Man, pitchers really threw a whole lot more pitches back then in the mid-twenty-teens.  Way back when we still thought Game of Thrones was a good show and not a shill for Starbucks.  Way back in 2015 when we all got along outwardly and just simmered under the surface with our political differences.  What a time!  Of course, Mike Fiers was facing the Reds, and Fiers is red and *insert Spider-man pointing at himself jpg* and Ramon Laureano needed to rob Joey Votto of a home run, but…piece of cake.  As we knew all along, there’s nothing to Fiers except Fiers himself.  He was a streamer I strongly considered yesterday, because Fiers is the epitome of a Medi-OAKer pitcher, and he was at home facing a terrible team.  Sadly, the one thing that puts out Fiers is when you put your stream on him.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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How does Franmil Reyes have such quick hand-eye coordination for a big guy?  Of course, it’s due to his 20/20 over 20/20 vision.  Franmil’s two-upping your vision!  Franmil Reyes isn’t just a big-time power hitter, he’s also the winner of the 1st Annual Kyle Blanks Look-A-Like Pageant.  You might remember Franmil’s now famous answer to the question, “California is going through a world-record drought, what would you do to solve this dilemma if you had one afternoon to spend with your doppelgänger, Kyle Blanks?”  Franmil took his time, then answered, “I’d go to the tallest peak in the Rockies with Mr. Blanks and we’d make snow angels, melting more snowflakes than Fox News and that water would roll into California.  I.e., This is my Fran-friction!”  I lifted myself from my Furby beanbag and cheered in my man cave.  Bless you, Franmil!  Bless you, child!  Also bless his power.  His batting average will come down some with a larger sample size, but there is no larger sample size than this 7-foot, 450-pound behemoth when it comes to dongs.  Sounded better in my head!  If you need power, I’d grab Franmil in all leagues.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

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Count me among those who think we should put the save out to pasture. If you’re interested in holds, you clearly play in a superior league. There’s such a minimal difference between a save and a hold, that they should be treated equally for fantasy purposes in my book. Pat yourself on the fantasy back for being an elevated fake sports mind. We’re looking for reliable roles in high leverage situations. Plus strikeout rates and friendly ratios help, too. Below is a table that includes those opportunities. A few of the more notable middle relievers below, as well.

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Newly returned to the US of A, Donkey Teeth regales the audience with tales of his alleged fishing success. B_Don and DT then cast an eye to the mythical Kingham fish in last week’s duel against Steven Matz. Nick Kingham looked more like a minnow than a King Salmon in this one while Matz impressed with a career high, 9 strikeouts. The guys talk about Matz curve and change along with Kingham’s change, slider, and rarely used curve.

In the pickups segment the guys recommend a slew of relief arms to speculate on, as well as Yonny Chirinos, Lourdes Gurriel, Ryan McMahon, and many more. Tune in, grab your net and scoop some of these studs before they get away.

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I try to avoid repeating ledes during the season and Sean Newcomb already had one.  There I said, “It’s 2074, Grey Albright’s frozen head is on a shelf next to Ted Williams’ frozen head…I took a picture of Ted’s penis…I’m so romantic!”  Damn, I pull quotes almost as well as I dispense fantasy baseball advice!  By the way, I watched the Ted Williams special on PBS this weekend.  Biggest surprise (to me), he was Mexican.  He was the original Fernandomania — Teodoromania?  When I searched Ted Williams and his Mom, that dominated the search results and who are we to question Google?  So, Sean Newcomb ended the game one out from a no hitter against the Dodgers, one of the best offense teams — 8 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 8 Ks, ERA at 3.23.  I pulled the reins on Newcomb in the last few weeks because his peripherals are garbage and I’m only happy when I’m pulling reins.  His velocity is down, his 8.3 K/9, 4.3 BB/9 and 4.32 xFIP are not telling the whole story, but they’re telling enough of the story while sitting around a campfire farting.  Then on Sunday, he threw 134 pitches.  I’m all for hypnotizing pitchers into thinking they’re Walter Johnson, but he had never pitched more than 111 pitches in the majors.  Solid game on Sunday, but if you grab Newcomb he could leave a mushroom cloud in his wake, and not as in an umami bomb.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

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Michael Conforto is a Buy.  A Mets hitter.  Long pause.  Hearing Dominick the Donkey on the radio.  Realizing that pause was until Christmas.  “Hey, chingedy ching, hee haw, hee haw.  It’s Conforto, the fantasy baseball Buy donkey.  The Italian Christmas Fantasy Baseball Buy Donkey.  He plays for the Mets and you know what this means?  The label on the inside of his uni says they’re made in Queens.”  In the beginning of the season, Conforto looked like he was working with three-quarters of his ability.  So, who’s he, Confor?  Julius Caesar never came, saw and Confor’d, right?  The lawyers didn’t Confor with the judge before sentencing Conforto to three months of terrible hitting.  Confor the lousy hitting, stay for the fear of success?  Yes, but no.  What I think we’re going to hear this offseason is Conforto is going to say the first few months of the season, his shoulder was still bothering him, but, by the 2nd half, that started to ease.  On our last 7 day Player Rater, Conforto is top 15, and could be in store for a solid 2nd half if his injury is finally healed.  Now get the Italian Christmas Fantasy Baseball Buy Donkey!  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

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J.A. Happ might’ve realized he wasn’t staying with the Jays much longer when guys in the front office kept asking him if he liked the team’s new jersey and it was the same jersey he had been wearing but a small man with a goatee, who said he worked as Peter Dinklage’s stunt double for parts of season 2 and 3 of GOT, was standing with his hand over the ‘Ja’ of Jays.  Happ tried to understand, “Do I like the Blue Ys?”  The front office exec tried to lead him to the answer, “If there was no,” motioning to Dinklage’s stunt double’s hand covering the ‘Ja,’ “In the Jays, would that be okay with you?”  Rather than the low-rent game of charades, they just traded him to the Yankees.  Happ should be happy to be out of Canada, we have a burgeoning coal economy.  No idea what Happ will do on the Yankees, but what he SHOULD (caps for emphasis, not due to a sticky keyboard) is be great.  His 10.3 K/9, 2.8 BB/9 and 3.63 xFIP makes him easily the 2nd best pitcher on the Yankees and around that of a top 30 starter.  Also, the AL East is like this:  J.A. Happ mimes wiping dandruff off his shoulder.  Nothing to it, kid!  Of course, it’s been like this all year and he still has a 4.18 ERA, so ‘should’ and ‘would’ can have a baby and it will still be, ‘who knows?’  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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For those of you looking for the “Aretha Friends and Family” talk channel, I am not going to say you are in the wrong place, but before you go, what the heck does TCB mean in the damn song?  Because there is no way it means “takin care of business”.  But anyways, thanks for coming and you can now leave as this geek-dom is full on extra for the ROS closer rankings. The ROS rankings are important…  Just like every other ROS stuff, because anything said purely as an acronym is full on important.  Just ask the government. So the rest of season closer rankings are more dictated on who is losing their jobs rather than who will continue TCB.  This rankings will not include corns, overpriced salads or freezes, just straight cold hard facts about who I think will be traded, demoted or basically just suck the rest of the year. Short, sweet, and to the point.  So if you were looking for some long didactic look at how closers will be the plight of your fantasy season because of X, Y and Z, you aren’t getting it.  Rankings 1-30ish.  Period, send it to the print shop.  Cheers!

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Choosing the right closer is hard enough when there is only one to choose on draft day.  Tons of factors to guide your hand…  Jump forward 50-plus games and when the situation has multiple faces and not a ton of situations from which to choose: is it worth the squeeze?  The White Sox closer situation has gone from one, to a few, and back again multiple times this year, and now it has swung back to Joakim Soria after garnering the last two saves.  The conundrum here is that Nate Jones had gotten the previous three save chances.  Than if you scroll the calendar even farther, Jace Fry got a save and retread Bruce Rondon also factored in on one occasion in mid-May.  So with a team that only has 13 saves all year, better than only one other team, the Marlins (who are a complete and utter disaster for saves). So when chasing saves, and we all do it, even you, the guy who can’t make eye contact way in the back…  It is part of the FAAB chase and the most alluring I might add and frequent drain of funds. So with a team that has flip-flopped three times in 50 games, with 13 saves and on pace for a MLB bottom-three in save chances, is it worth the headache of this guy or that guy?  I wanna root for the Mexecutioner, and some guy named Nate, but they are basically like part-time lovers, and I would rather stream the spot with great counting stats that matter.  Soria’s K/9 is in the mid-10’s which is admirable, but on a game-to-game basis, the save chase comes down to volume, not the here and now.  Yes, Soria should be owned, and yes Jones should be owned.  But I am just bringing this up for your sake of saves hope.  If you can pair either one of them at the right time, obviously when they are on a hot streak of two saves in 10 days, do so and upgrade your save booty.  Advice over, bits of tid to follow.  Cheers!

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