I said three days ago that Brian Wilson was probably headed for a DL stint. And now he’s on the DL. Confession: I’m a time traveler! And not for stocks or gambling Biff-style, I use my foresight for fantasy baseball. To recap what I’ve been saying, I said three days ago that Brian Wilson– Wait, I should recap from a little further back. Ramon Ramirez already has two saves, so that’s who I’d grab first. Affeldt could get some saves, you just need to put up with his annoying duck. Casilla may sneak into the picture, but I wouldn’t go deeper than one of these guys unless you’re very desperate. Though remember closers can smell desperation and you’ll never get any saves like that. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Before we get into the roundup, I just wanted to announce that this afternoon there will be announcement. So this is the announcement’s announcement. The pre-nouncement? If you’ve been around the last three Augusts for our announcements, then this shouldn’t come as that huge of announcement. But act surprised anyway, would you please? Anyway II, the roundup:
Jordan Lyles – Was sent to Triple-A. Hope he gets one of their TourBooks. They have so many great coupons!
Alex Rodriguez – 0-for-5 as he returned from the DL. Bee tee dubya, he has 13 homers on the year. Where does he get drafted next year? Fifth round? Sixth? Hasn’t been drafted that low since he started hanging out with his cousin.
Eduardo Nunez – 1-for-4 with a steal. More importantly, he played even as A-Rod returned. Though, I wouldn’t count on that continuing. Jeter DH’d yesterday, but he won’t do that every day.
Curtis Granderson – 1-for-4 with a slam & legs. Now has 35 homers and 24 steals. Is he in the MVP conversation at all?
Derek Holland – 3 1/3 IP, 5 ER as Holland gave his owners a Dutch oven.
Tyler Flowers – 2-for-3, 3 runs, has now hit in 6 of 7 games. In one league where we lost Eli Whiteside (yeah, it’s a deep league; no, we didn’t get extra points for owning Whiteside because he sounds like herring), I added Flowers.
Ryan Braun – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 1 RBI with his 25th and 26th steal. He has no business stealing 26 bases, yet he goes out there and does just that for your fantasy team. How sexy is he? I want his swimsuit calendar.
Casey McGehee – 1-for-4 with his 9th homer. Hasn’t really gotten hot all year, and I still wouldn’t say he is now, but he is hitting near .333 over the last week. That’s McOkayhee.
Tim Hudson – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks. I haven’t given Hudson much fanfare this year, so here goes. With a 3.01 ERA and a 1.07 WHIP, he’s been my most reliable starter on multiple teams and wish I owned him on every team, which is saying something since his Ks are pretty yawnstipating. Thank you, Tim, for letting me love a non-strikeout pitcher. Though, if you could ramp up the Ks, you’d be really awesome.
Adam Lind – Out with a sore wrist. Should be able to return on Tuesday. Canada waits.
Luis Perez – 6 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 2 walks and 4 Ks. Late-blooming southpaw that ran up against a good matchup yesterday vs. the A’s. I wouldn’t look at him outside of deep AL-Only leagues. Could get some Ks, will probably get mollywhopped.
Frank Francisco – Scratched with a sore shoulder. Well, stop scratching it! Francisco has actually been decent recently, but if the shoulder’s a problem, it won’t matter. Since Rauch is off seeing a giraffe doctor, Casey Janssen or Shawn Camp would see saves.
Rafael Furcal – Tripped over a rope and sprained his thumb. He should’ve stuck with hopscotch.
Yadier Molina – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and 2 homers, three this weekend. This had to be more than just the wind blowing out at Wrigley. I’m guessing the entire Molina family, including Alfred, was sitting behind home plate blowing.
Ubaldo Jimenez – 3 1/3 IP, 8 ER. Um, dubya tee eff? Last week I joked that Cleveland should raise the mound a mile above sea level, but I joke when I don’t think there’s any reason to worry. Now, I’m kinda troubled. Or troubaldo. If he gets beat badly his next time out by the peasant Royals, might be time to discard.
Jacoby Ellsbury – Sat out with a back bruise after being plunked. Eric Plunk, “Someone owes me a nickel!”
Ryan Lavarnway – 2-for-4. Playing DH (do you play it?) which has me concerned. If he only DHs then only pinch hits when Papi returns, will Lavarnway lose his catcher eligibility going into next year? Probably moot since the Sawx will most likely let him start 2012 in the minors. Cust pondering.
Craig Kimbrel – Recorded his 39th save. Has 101 Ks, 1.72 ERA and 1.01 WHIP. Member how Tony Gwynn used to watch hours of pitcher videos while eating donuts? I think Kimbrel watched hours of a young Mariano.
James Shields – 7 1/3 IP, 7 ER vs. the Mariners. Huh? I feel like the box score had a typo.
Brandon Belt – 4-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 5th homer. Great, wonderful, gronderful! But he hasn’t been playing every day so you might need to platoon him in and out of your fantasy lineup for right now.
Casper Wells – 2-for-4 with his 10th homer. As all of Casper’s fans boo. BTW, on Saturday I went to this karaoke place and this one guy was awful so I stood near the stage and started booing him. Loudly. He got rattled and started messing up the words (worse), so I booed louder. I got a kick out of it, but apparently he didn’t. He threw down the mic, shouted “Oh, that’s it!” and charged after me. Luckily (for me and my mustache), three bouncers got to him before he got to me.
Michael Pineda – 6 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks. Before this game, I told someone in our fantasy baseball forums that I wouldn’t start Pineda again until he pitched well. Well (stutterer!), this was a decent start.
Nick Blackburn – Left the game with a forearm strain. Maybe it was straining to be a fivearm.
Ben Revere – 1-for-4 with his 2nd game in a row with a steal. SAGNOF!
James McDonald – 6 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks. McDonald was then replaced by Grilli. I prefer the McGriddli.
Garrett Jones – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and a home run as he continues to stay hot with his 2nd homer in the last five games.
Joel Hanrahan – 2/3 IP, 2 ER. Hanrahanananan is obviously strugglinginginging right now, but his season ERA is still at 1.76 so, ya know, don’t be ungrateful.
Carlos Quentin – Might end up on the DL with a sprained AC joint. That sucks, humidity this time of the year is killer.
Peter Bourjos – 3-for-5 with his third homer of the weekend. I’m telling you right now, there’s gonna be a sleeper post about him sometime in January and I’m gonna go cacacuckoo for him again next year.
Danny Espinosa – 3-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 18th homer. Corspinosa is alive! He tends to be streaky so if he’s out there, I’d give him another chance if you’re hurting with your middle infidel.
Seth Smith – 1-for-2 with a slam & legs. If someone asked me what’s the bare minimum you should get from your fifth outfielder in a 12 team mixed league, I’d say look at The Lisper’s Nightmare’s stats.
Ivan Nova – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks. Honestly, I don’t trust him. This start was vs. the Twins who have Plouffe, the guy who sounds like the noise a turd makes when it hits the toilet water, hitting second. If you’re chasing wins, I could see going with Nova, but chasing wins is a losing proposition. (<–Turn of a phrase point!)
Roy Halladay – 5 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks. Was lifted after a rain delay then Schwimer took over. All I can say is thank God he’s no longer making movies.
Jimmy Rollins – Left the game with a groin injury. Wouldn’t surprise me to see this be a DL stint since the Phils will just want everyone healthy for the playoffs. As Jimmy gets older, maybe he should ease back a little to Strollins.
Ryan Madson – 2/3 IP, 6 ER on Friday. Madson, the Phils already have one Bastardo in the bullpen. Please. Wasn’t used in a save situation on Sunday, which was then blown by Bastardo and followed by Lidge losing the game. I think Madson will be fine, was just a big giant blip.
Matt Wieters – 6 for his last 12 and his 12th homer yesterday. Pretty whatever season from him so far, but if he were to hit five homers in the last month plus, his season would still look a’ight with definite promise for next year. He really needs a big last month though. Either way, I’m still gonna go all in with him next year again, assuming he’s drafted late, which he should be at this rate.
Bobby Parnell – Mets said Izzy will see some saves still, but then Izzy went out on Sunday and gave up one run and on Saturday he gave up 4 runs. They say the 301st save is always the toughest.