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Back in 2013, a high school math teacher embarked upon one of life’s greatest mysteries: Did Double Stuf Oreos truly have double the cream between the wafers? Utilizing the free labor from his students, the experiment concluded that Double Stuf Oreos only contained 1.86 times the stuff. This is why I have trust issues. The lesson here, boys and girls? Never fully trust what your eyes see and take the time to dig deep. Which brings me to Jeimer Candelario of the Detroit Tigers, who has been absolutely en fuego to the tune of a .325/.385/.571 slash with 7 home runs, 27 runs, 28 RBI, and 1 stolen base in 169 plate appearances. Is this for realio?

Candelario is 26 years old, 6′ 1″, 221 pounds, and bats from both sides of the plate. He signed with the Chicago Cubs in 2010, then was traded to the Detroit Tigers in 2017. Throughout his minor league career, he exhibited good plate discipline, often having a walk rate over 10% and a strikeout rate below 20%. The batting average was all over the map, though. While he did exhibit a little bit of pop, the ISO only exceeded .200 once. His high in home runs was 11 for a season.

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Black. Lives. Matter. Period. Enough of the bullshit. Yes, all lives matter, but all lives are not treated equally, so hopefully people empathize with those who experience life on a different difficulty setting than themselves. Ok, rant over and shoutout to the BLM Movement, but it’s time to talk about the BML Movement. Brad. Miller. Lives. Yes, THAT Brad Miller who slugged 30 homers back in 2016. He’s baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack. What can Brad do for you?

Miller is 30 years old, 6′ 2″, 215 pounds, and bats from the left side. The Seattle Mariners selected him in the second round of the 2011 MLB Draft. He was traded to the Tampa Bay Rays in 2015, moved to the Milwaukee Brewers in 2018, signed with the Cleveland Indians in March of 2019, was waived a month later, picked up by the New York Yankees, then traded to the Philadelphia Phillies in June. Before the start of this season, the St. Louis Cardinals signed him to a one-year deal. As the boys and girls be saying in high school, he been around.

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Korean clubs are unique. Physically, there is a dj, dance floor, blinding lights, fog machines, earthquake-inducing bass speakers, and all the stuff you’d find in a normal club, but the setup is disparate. Guys have to reserve a table and purchase bottles of alcohol, which are marked up thousands of percent, while girls get in free, as they are the showcase for the “booking system.” The hosts (waiters/pimps) of a table would go out and bring girls to a table. Those at the table would give a thumbs up or say naw and move on, until the next group is brought over. Don’t hate the messenger. Hate the game. Anyways, whether we like it or not, the fantasy club isn’t much different. The stats and highlights are the hosts, while the players are constantly brought to our table, when we must give a thumbs up or say naw before getting to know them better. Randy Arozarena of the Miami Marlins has caught the eye of many and looks good so far in his young career. Thumbs up or Arozarena?

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April 5, 2010. 20-year-old Jason Heyward catches the ceremonial first pitch from Hank Aaron, then comes to the plate against Carlos Zambrano in the bottom of the first, with two on, one out, and the scored tied at three a piece. KABOOOM! A laser bombed into the back of the bullpen beyond the right field fence. It. Was. On. We were all witnesses to the genesis of the next great superstar career. How could he fail? His rise through the minor league system was as quick as my lovemaking. He was rated as the top prospect in the game, and his rookie season was a phenomenal success (.277/.393/.456 with 18 HR and 11 SB). But then the dreaded sophomore slump happened, but he rose like a phoenix in year three. Only to roll over and embark upon years of mediocrity. With that said, he was left for dead many of times, only to bounce back, like his brother from another mother, Jason Voorhees. So far in 2020, Heyward is batting .299/.411/.563 with 5 HR and 1 SB. Is this for real?

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I bought a 30-gallon fish tank a few years ago and began my aquarium hobby journey. I enjoyed watching the fish fly around in the rectangle abyss, adorned with plants and driftwood, but when I learned about fully aquatic crabs, it was on. I’ve bought a few and have never been disappointed. Upon arrival, they are around an inch big, but they eventually get to around five inches or so. They grow by molting, which is the shedding of their old shell to make room for a new, bigger one. I knew about this process but wasn’t prepared for the actual thing. On the floor of the aquarium, I saw a crab, but it didn’t move. For days. I was a little heart broken, as I thought one of my crabs was dead, but then I poked it and saw that it was just an empty shell. A few days later, I saw the new, bigger crab emerge. I mention this story because it was the first thing I thought of when digging into Frankie Montas. He’s been left for dead after three horrendous starts, but is he really? Let’s dig in.

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The mass had grown disheveled and restless, as for thirty long days and thirty long nights, they were without a savior at the catcher position. Many of prophets had come and gone, Omar Narvaez and Mitch Garver were two of the most prominent, but they have been exposed as false prophets up to now. So the aimless walk through the catcher landscape has been a challenging and arduous one. But then thunder banged the ear drums, water flattened the disheveleness, and fire glistened off the pupils as a voice echoed throughout the universe: Seek forth the highest mountain and I will provide salvation. Filled with a vigor that hadn’t been felt since draft day, the mass walked, and walked, and walked, so much that Forrest Gump looked down upon them and nodded in approval. Upon reaching their destination, a swirling wind enveloped them while lightning was radiating from the mountain top. Then…..Austin Nola descended down the face of the mountain with two tablets. On one were his stats for this season with the expression Catchers Ain’t Got No Face at the bottom, while on the other tablet was written: Thou shall not covet any other catcher. It has been written.

Nola is 30 years old, 6′ 0″, and 195 pounds. The Miami Marlins selected him in the fifth round of the 2012 MLB draft. He spent seven years with the organization before opting for free agency, which is when he signed with the Seattle Mariners. Drafted as a shortstop, Nola became a catcher in 2017, then played first base with the Mariners.

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I used to play a lot of hoops with my friends. I also used to smoke a lot of weed. Usually not a good mix, but everytime before the game, I’d yell to my buddies, “The rim looks like the size of the ocean. Just keep feeding me. And feeding me. And feeding me.” More often than not, it was but a figment of my imagination. That’s what happens when you’re high. But, but, but….Every once in a while, the heat checks would get cashed and all everyone would hear was, “Splash, splash, and splash” reverberating off the walls inside the gym. My buddies learned (after one night), that I was straight trash playing high. After the tenth time, they would just let me run around like a headless chicken, but when I got hot, they knew not to mess around, as they would just keep feeding me, and feeding me, and feeding me until whatever it was wore off. The beautiful thing about baseball is that the sample sizes are usually large that regression to career averages can be expected. In a 60-game season, though, anything can happen. A hitter can get hot and stay hot. Randal Grichuk of the Toronto Blue Jays is hot. Can he maintain?

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I love fast cars, fast turnaround at the buffet, and fast waiting lines, so when it comes to pitchers, it only makes sense that I’ve got the need….the need for speed. Guys…or girls…..who can throw mid-90s make me hyperventilate. Even better when they are young. Now, no need to call the authorities or anything, but I’ll admit that I’m an ageist. Once a player passes the 30-year threshold, I start giving the, “I’ll call you back when I get a chance.” So, then why do I sort of, kind of like Tommy Milone, a 33-year-old pitcher who averages 86 mph on his fastball?

Milone was drafted by the Washington Nationals in the 10th round of the 2008 MLB draft. He was traded to the Oakland Athletics in 2011, where he spent two years before getting traded to the Minnesota Twins. To the New York Mets in 2017, then back to the Nationals in 2018, the Seattle Mariners in 2019, and finally ending up with the Baltimore Orioles this season.

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Never judge a book by its cover. An age old mantra yet one that is often dismissed. There’s a reason the advertising industry is a billion dollar one, and that Karen in marketing is cashing fat checks. We judge from the cover in all facets of life. Because of that, we make irrational decisions at times. No different in fantasy baseball. We get swayed by the batting average plastered on the MY TEAM page or the constant zeroes from what you thought was your fantasy hero. Sometimes digging deeper can shed some light upon the situation. Trent Grisham of the San Diego Padres has been dropped in 13.7% of ESPN leagues over the past week. Why? Is it a time to kill Grisham or keep reading?

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We humans are a funny species, as emotion punks the brain much of the time. Back in the day when we roamed with clubs and were hunted by dinosaurs, emotional responses were necessary for survival. There was no time to analytically break down the size, speed, weight, etc of threat. Just run or fight. As we evolved and conquered much of the threats that nature could bestow upon us…..hears knock on the window…..Oh, it’s just Rona waving hi. Just put on your mask, don’t pay any attention, and everything will be fine. Now, there is a much-too-huge segment of the population that is still in survival mode (shameful), but many are not. As a result, you’d think that we would use our brains more, since we have more time. Unfortunately, we still let emotion run our lives. Some do it to feel alive. I get it. Others? It usually comes down to greed and fear. In fantasy baseball, we see it all the time. Owners rage dropping a pitcher after he gets slapped for 8 earned runs in 2 innings. On the flip side, there are players on heaters like Dylan Moore of the Seattle Mariners, who is the number one added player in ESPN leagues over the past week (49% owned – increase of 47.4%). Can we expect Moore from Dylan or is this the time to jump off?

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Sequels are rarely better than the original. Caddyshack II and all the Karate Kids come to mind, but there have been many instances when the new surpassed the old. The Dark Knight, Godfather Part II, Toy Story 2, and X-Men United are but a few. The same dynamic has played out in the baseball world as well. Pudge Rodriguez was a Hall of Fame catcher. His son Dereck? Not so much. C’mon? There’s a reason it’s named the Hall of Fame. Vlad Guerrero and Craig Biggio were both Hall of Famers and have sons in the big leagues now. Cavan and Vlad Jr. have just started their baseball careers, but the probabilites are low that they surpass their father’s exploits. But, but, but….that doesn’t mean it’s impossible, as Ken Griffey Sr. was a three-time All-Star, but Griffey Jr. was elected to the Hall of Fame. So what can we make of Mike Yastrzemski‘s hot start to the Rona-infested season of 2020? Will he be but another run-of-the-mill sequel or are there signs that he’s on his way to eclipsing grandpa Carl’s 3,419 hits, 452 home runs, and Hall of Fame career?

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I’m not a condiment guy. Dipping fries in ketchup is fine, but I prefer gravy or clam chowder soup. Mayonnaise? Disgusting. Mustard? Repulsive. Relish? Nauseating. So, when it comes to hotdogs, I’m an au naturel kind of guy. I know, boring to most, but whatever. I don’t live for them. As for fantasy baseball, there’s a place for the boring, dependable players, but I’m all about guys that hot dog. I want home runs, ribbies, and stolen bases. One player who’s been doing a little of everything recently has been Teoscar Hernandez of the Toronto Blue Jays. As a result, his ownership percentage has spiked 48% over the past week in ESPN leagues. Does this hot dog have staying power?

Teoscar is 27 years old, 6′ 2″, 180 pounds, and bats from the right side. He signed with the Houston Astros as an international free agent back in 2011. Over his minor league career with the Astros, Teoscar had a high of 17 home runs and 33 stolen bases in a season. The batting average fluctuated from .240 to a high of .313. The walk rate was in the 7-10% range, while the strikeout rate ranged from 16% to 36%. The ISO never dipped below .130 and got to as high as .256. The plate discipline numbers did improve as time went on, culminating in an 8.1% walk rate and 15.6% strikeout rate in 2016. As a result, he got his first call up to The Show that year and produced a .230/.304/.420 slash with 4 home runs, 9.8% walk rate, and 25% strikeout rate.

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